Full Wedding Manuscript

Prior

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of God to witness a most wonderful occasion: the Union of Nicholas and Bella. This marriage Union was given to us by God in the beginning after God made the first man and said: it is not good for man to be alone. Therefore I will create a helper suitable to him. As such, he gave the man a wife, and the two became one flesh. So also today this Union comes to Nicholas and Bella by the Grace of God. Let us pray

Heavenly Father, we ask that you would now bless this time that we have together, and bless this Union of Nicholas and Bella. We pray that you would shower them with your Grace, that they would depend upon your strength all of their days, and that you would give them endurance to run well to the end. In Jesus name, amen.

Intro, Personal notes

What an incredibly special day today is. Of course we are all gathered here today out of our mutual love for Nicholas and Bella, together with our excitement to finally see these two married. As young as they may be, in many ways this day has seemed like an inevitable reality for years now.

As their youth leader, I have had the pleasure of watching Nick and Bella grow since their middle school days; not only into adults but into mature believers. I consider it an immense blessing and honor to be standing here today with the ability to officiate this marriage of two students, friends, and family in the Lord.

And it is to their marriage that we are all focusing our attention today. What we are all witnessing today is no mere human contrivance. This is not simply the tradition of men, nor is it something that any government system in any part of human history has come up with. While this will be a marriage that the state of Michigan recognizes as legally binding, together with its tax benefits, in a much more important sense we are witnessing these two people who we love enter into covenant with one another in the presence of God. Marriage is a gift that God has given us, for our mutual good, for our instruction; but ultimately for his own glory.

Marriage is for our good

The first thing I want us to consider from the book of Ephesians today is that marriage is for our good. We can see this in the various responsibilities that Ephesians 5 lays out for both husbands and wives. In these responsibilities we see God’s design for a perfect ecosystem where love flourishes to mutual good.

Wives

Ephesians 5:22–24 ESV

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

I acknowledge that this is a text which puts many people of more modern sensibilities on edge. To call a wife to “submit” to her husband seems so archaic to us, so unnecessarily rigid and binding on a woman. And at the outset I admit that these modern sensibilities exist for some good reason — perhaps you have seen an abuse of this kind of marriage ethic which has led to great harm instead of good. We will get to the husband’s responsibilities in just a moment, but for now let us consider how this call to the wife is for mutual good.

Submission is not so scary as many would have us believe, especially within the context that God places it. In fact, to be a Christian is to commit yourself to a life of submission whether you are a man or a woman, an adult or a child. God has called all people to submission at various levels. Every single person is called to submit his or herself to God in all things. Children are called to submit to their parents, employees to employers, citizens to governments, and also here wives to husbands. We see that healthy relationships do not exist for long outside of a submission ethic, for this is not God’s design. God has designed all of these relationships to have a head or a leader.

Importantly, this does not mean that wives are unimportant to the marriage relationship. Much to the contrary, wives are vital to the health of any family — any married person in the room would tell you as much. The book of proverbs says

Proverbs 12:4 “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband”

Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.”

Proverbs 31:10 “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.”

As a wife is called to submit to her husband’s leadership, she lifts him up and makes him great. She supports his leadership and empowers him. She makes her home truly beautiful in ways that nobody else has been made able to do.

So Bella, do not underestimate the significant value God has placed on you not only as an individual, but as a wife. Submit yourself to Nicholas and seek his good all of your days. Even as the Lord has called you to submit yourself to his own leadership, so now submit yourself to your husband’s leadership. This is the call that the Lord has placed on your life, and in fulfilling it you will build your home in ways that nobody else can. This is a difficult and high calling, but the Lord will be your strength; commit yourself to his grace and power to uphold you in this.

Transition: Now lest we think that wives are the only ones who receive a difficult calling in this passage, lets turn our attention to the call placed upon the husband.

Husbands

Ephesians 5:25–31 ESV

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

When we see the other half of the call, it becomes incredibly clear how this design for marriage is meant for mutual good. Nicholas, you are being called by God to love your wife in the same way that Christ has loved his church, which is his bride. Now it is worth reminding not only you but all of us what this means.

Jesus has not loved us by lording his authority over us, though he certainly had every right to do so. Instead, Jesus has loved us unconditionally, sacrificially, and eternally.

Unconditional

Romans 5:8 shows how Jesus’ love for us is unconditional

Romans 5:8 “but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

The love that God has for us doesn’t depend on our ability to clean ourselves up or present ourselves to him as perfect people. God’s love found us while we were at our lowest, and God’s love for us lifts us out of that pit.

It is important that you both do not put conditions on your love for one another, but mimic Christ, who has made a promise to love us even when we are not deserving of it.

Sacrificial

1 John 3:16 ESV

By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us, and we ought to lay down our lives for the brothers.

Christ defined true love in his sacrificial death for our sake, and so the love we have for one another should be marked by that same willingness, and even eagerness, to sacrifice for the other.

It is important that you do not enter this marriage looking for what you can gain from it, but what you can give to it.

Eternal

Romans 8:37–39 ESV

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

The love that you are both committing to today is a love that lasts forever and weathers any storm so long as it is a love that has its source in Christ’s own love for you.

In the gospel of Jesus Christ, we see true love defined and displayed for all to see. In it we see the almighty Son of God, who has existed from before all time in the form of God, humiliate himself by taking on flesh, becoming obedient to the law, and even dying a brutal death. And for what purpose did he do this? To save his bride the church from her certain destruction.

Jesus had no obligation put upon himself to do this, he did it because he loves us. He set aside every right and privilege, and even his own glory for a time so that he would accomplish our salvation and bring us back to himself in holiness and beauty.

Nicholas, in the same way, you are being called to love Bella. You must give yourself up for her; no longer is your life to be lived for yourself. You are not to live with only your own comfort or good in mind. Just as Christ has done for us, you must now set aside every privilege, every right, and any glory or dignity you might have so long as it means you are loving your wife. This is a difficult and high calling, but the Lord will be your strength. Commit yourself to his grace and power to uphold you in this matter.

Nicholas, Bella — God himself has designed your marriage for your mutual good. Take care that you heed his design and his call upon your lives. Commit yourself to his design, and I am sure beyond all doubt that this marriage will be for your good.

Transition: And marriage is not only for our good, but also for our instruction.

Marriage is for our instruction (in the gospel)

Ephesians 5:31–32 ESV

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church.

Here we see another part of the genius behind the design. It isn’t just that God invented a really good human system for intimate relationship; but that design is beautiful primarily because it reveals to us the gospel of Jesus Christ. Embedded within our marriage relationships are pointers to the love of God for his people, and God intends our marriages to teach us about his love for us in Jesus Christ.

And so when it is said that a man and a woman should leave their parents and come together and become one flesh, we can admit together with Paul that this is a profound mystery. Our minds have a hard time comprehending what is meant by this, and yet we find it to be beautiful and good.

What makes it profoundly beautiful and good is that it refers to another beautiful mystery: that Jesus Christ has called sinners to come and be united with himself. This truly encapsulates the heart of the gospel incredibly well, as it was put forth in Romans 6.

Romans 6:3–11 ESV

Do you not know that all of us who have been baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death? We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life. For if we have been united with him in a death like his, we shall certainly be united with him in a resurrection like his. We know that our old self was crucified with him in order that the body of sin might be brought to nothing, so that we would no longer be enslaved to sin. For one who has died has been set free from sin. Now if we have died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. We know that Christ, being raised from the dead, will never die again; death no longer has dominion over him. For the death he died he died to sin, once for all, but the life he lives he lives to God. So you also must consider yourselves dead to sin and alive to God in Christ Jesus.

This is the center of our salvation, the crown of our hope: that we are united to Jesus Christ through faith in him, and so we have the assurance of eternal life with him in heaven. He is our head, our savior, our life. Once, when we were far from him, we were dominated and condemned by our sin. Now that Jesus has brought us near to him through faith, we are made one with him, and his righteousness has become our righteousness, his life our life.

Nicholas and Bella, never forget that your marriage has been designed to remind and instruct you about this gospel for the rest of your lives. Bella, when you submit yourself to Nicholas’ authority, remember Christ who loves you and calls you to submit yourself to him. Nicholas, when you love Bella with sacrificial love, remember Christ’s love for you, and that he willingly died to save you and bring you to himself. As you two come together as one flesh, you are testifying to the wonderful truth that we are united to Christ through faith in him.

My hope is that your marriage will serve as a testimony to the best news this world has ever known.

This leads me to my last point: your marriage’s ultimate purpose is to being glory to God.

Marriage is for God’s glory

Nicholas and Bella, today is about you guys and the beautiful union God is bringing you into. But know this: God intends for your marriage to impact far more than just the two of you. God intends for your marriage to proclaim the excellencies of his love to a watching world.

This means that your marriage will proclaim the gospel to the two of you, but also to your children should the Lord bless you in that way. Your marriage is meant to show them about God’s love for his people as well. So know for certain that if and when you have children, you marriage doesn’t revolve around them; rather, your marriage preaches to them the good news of God’s love for them.

Your marriage is also intended to be a blessing in the same way to your church. As you grow together and seek to follow the Lord with one another, serving as a married couple in the church will be an immense blessing to more people than you can imagine. Make sure that you don’t just seek to serve individually, but together as often as that possibility makes itself available to you. Know that just by being a married couple in the life of the church, your marriage will point others to the love that God has for them as well.

Finally, know that your marriage will serve as a testimony of the gospel to a watching world that desperately needs to know the hope therein. We live in a culture in which the marriage relationship is largely broken. The worldly design for marriage frankly does not work more often than it does, and you will encounter many who have grown pessimistic towards the marriage relationship. I am confident that they will notice something different about your marriage, something beautiful and strange. This is not just because of how wonderful you are, but because of the Lord Jesus Christ upon whom your marriage is built. Let your marriage serve as one piece of your proclamation to a watching world that there is hope in darkness, that there is restoration for what is broken, that there is love for the bitter, and most importantly, that God has gone to great lengths to love his own people.

Nicholas and Bella, I have spoken of many things which are high and wonderful, things which at times are too difficult for any human to follow. Your marriage will be beautiful, but there are times when it will be incredibly difficult as well. I charge you now to commit yourselves to the only one who can and will cause you both to stand and weather any storm; present your marriage to the Lord Jesus Christ, and depend upon his strength in your marriage. And finally,

Mark 10:9 ESV

What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Vows

Nicholas, do you take this woman to be your wedded wife, to live with her after God’s commandments in the holy estate of marriage? And do you promise to love her, honor and cherish her, so long as you both shall live?

I do

Bella, do you take this man to be your wedded husband, to live with him after God’s commandments in the holy estate of marriage? And do you promise to love him, cherish and obey him, so long as you both shall live?

I do

Nicholas, repeat after me

I, Nicholas, take you, Bella, to be my wedded wife,

and I do promise and covenant

before God and these witnesses

to be your loving and faithful husband

in sickness and in health,

in plenty and in want,

in joy and in sorrow,

as long as we both shall live.

Bella, repeat after me

I, Bella, take you, Nicholas, to be my wedded husband,

and I do promise and covenant

before God and these witnesses

to be your loving and faithful wife

in sickness and in health,

in plenty and in want,

in joy and in sorrow,

as long as we both shall live.

I understand that you have chosen rings for one another. Can I please have the rings?

Nick, take the ring you have chosen for Bella and place it on her left finger

I give you this ring as a symbol and pledge

of constant faith and abiding love.

Bella, take the ring you have chosen for Nicholas and place it on his left finger

I give you this ring as a symbol and pledge

of constant faith and abiding love.

Let us pray

By virtue of the authority committed unto me by the state of Michigan and more importantly by the God of all creation, I now pronounce you, Nicholas, and Bella, to be husband and wife, in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen.

(step to the side)

Nicholas, you may kiss your bride

It is my pleasure to introduce to you for the first time as husband and wife, Mr. and Mrs. Nicholas Harrison!