# 88 How Many Times Do I Have To Forgive? Matthew 18:21-35

Introduction: As we begin, I want to listen to the Christian Song: Forgiveness by Matthew West. I want us to sit back and listen carefully to this song. It has some powerful lyrics to it, and you will also learn why this song was written. It truly is about FORGIVENESS.

   Recently I came across a story entitled: The Ledger Book. I want to share that story with you as we approach the third and final section of Matthew 18.

   There was once a man named Thomas who ran a small general store in a quiet town. Thomas was known for two things: his excellent memory and the thick leather ledger he kept behind the counter. Every time someone bought something on credit, he wrote it down. And every time someone paid him back, he carefully crossed it off.

   Thomas took great pride in keeping that ledger perfectly accurate. But over the years, he also started writing down other debts — not just money owed, but wrongs done to him. If someone spread a rumor about him, it went in the book. If someone shorted him on payment and didn’t apologize, it went in the book. If someone failed to return a borrowed tool, it was added with the date and the name.

   One day, a terrible fire broke out in the town, and Thomas’s store caught fire. He rushed in to save what he could. He didn’t grab the cash box. He didn’t grab the inventory. He ran straight to the back of the store and rescued that old ledger.

   Later that evening, a young pastor from the town came to check on Thomas. He found him sitting in his living room, flipping through the scorched pages.

   The pastor gently said, “Thomas, what good is a record of debts if it keeps you from being free?”

   Thomas looked at him with tears in his eyes. “I’ve kept this book for over 30 years. I thought it made me wise. But the longer I read it, the heavier it feels.”

   The pastor nodded. “Peter once asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone — he thought seven times would be generous. But Jesus said, ‘Not seven… but seventy times seven.’ Forgiveness doesn’t mean the wrong never happened — it means you choose to stop carrying it.”

   Thomas slowly closed the book. The next morning, he burned it in the fireplace — debt by debt, page by page — and for the first time in a long time, he felt lighter.

   Wow! Are you carrying the weight of unforgiveness today?

   As we begin to walk through our text today, I want you to be thinking about anyone that you may need to forgive. Our text has quite a bit to say about the importance of extending forgiveness to those who have offended us. Remember too that this follows Matthew 18:15-20, and back in 18:15, and 18:21,35 it speaks about a “brother”. We are specifically looking at those within the body of Christ – fellow believers. Don’t miss this.

1. A Question Prompted by Law, Answered by Grace – 18:21-22

   21Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?”

   Have you heard the line –

   "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me"

   Being tricked once is the other person's fault, but being tricked a second time is the victim's fault for not learning from the first mistake. It implies that if someone tricks you, you should learn from that experience and be more cautious in the future. If they trick you a second time, it's because you didn't take the necessary steps to avoid it.

   Someone else has said,

   “Before you do me wrong, make sure you never need me again.”

   In rabbinic discussion the consensus was that a brother might be forgiven a repeated sin three times; on the fourth, there is no forgiveness (See Amos 2:4). Peter, thinking himself big-hearted, volunteers “seven times” in answer to his question—a larger figure often used, among other things, as a “round number” (cf. Leviticus 26:21; Deuteronomy 28:25; Psalm 79:12; Proverbs 24:16; Luke 17:4).[1]

A. Peter’s limited Proposal: Up to seven times?

   As I have already mentioned, Peter thought he was being generous, doubling and adding to the rabbinic limit of three. That makes sense, right? Someone does me wrong and I forgive them three times – that’s law, right? But now that Peter is a Christ follower, he is willing to extend forgiveness up to seven times – that’s grace, isn’t it? Peter thinks he provided a great answer to his question.

   But here is the problem Peter’s view of forgiveness is still counting. Peter is keeping a ledger.

· Did me wrong once – check.

· Did me wrong twice – check.

· Did me wrong three times – check.

· Did me wrong seven times – check.

Aha, now, I can write you off.

  It has been said, “Forgiveness for Peter was still a matter of calculation, not transformation.” God help us not to miss that statement. Christianity is not about keeping track of wrongs, but about our hearts being radically transformed.

   So, there we have Peter’s limited proposal.

B. Jesus’ Expansive Response – Seventy times seven

   22Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.

   Bible teachers have different takes on what Jesus said here. Some see His words as, seventy times and seven = 77 times. Others see it as seventy times seven = 490 times.

   I would say that that is immaterial. Jesus was teaching that His followers do not keep a record book where they mark down every time someone has done them wrong.  No, the idea here is that you and I are to keep on forgiving – Jesus is not putting a number on forgiveness. It’s a figure of speech, a statement of exaggeration.

   We read in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 – Love keeps no record of wrong.

   It has been said that “grace breaks the calculator.”

   Forgiveness, in Christ’s kingdom, is not about keeping a limit but living a lifestyle. Christians are to be good forgivers. For instance:

· Parents forgive their children.

· Children forgive their parents.

· Spouses forgive their mates.

· Friends forgive friends.

· Neighbors forgive neighbors.

· Employer forgives employees.

   Theologian Buzz Lightyear says it well, “To infinity and beyond.”

   As believers, we are to continue to forgive.

2. A Kingdom Parable: Forgiven People Must Forgive Others – 18:23-35

   Jesus shares a story with His disciples about the power of forgiveness and the evil of unforgiveness. It is broken into four scenes. Let’s walk through them together. Jesus tells a parable to show us why His answer matters so much. It’s not just a moral lesson. It’s a window into the Kingdom of Heaven and of the transformed lives.

A. A King’s Unthinkable Mercy – 18:23-27

   23Therefore the kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24 And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him ten thousand talents. 25But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold, with his wife and children and all that he had, and that payment be made. 26The servant therefore fell down before him, saying, ‘Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 27 Then the master of that servant was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt.

Scene One – The Servant Stands Before the King

   In this scene, we find a servant being called before the King to settle his debt. He owed the King ten thousand talents – an impossible sum.

   What was the value of ten thousand talents when Jesus spoke these words?

   A talent was a unit of weight of around 75 pounds and was used to measure large sums of money, usually in silver.

· 1 talent = 6,000 denarii

· A denarius was the average daily wage for a common laborer. (The Zondervan Illustrated Bible Dictionary)

   So, what about 10,000 Talents? The debt that was owed to the King?

· 10,000 talents = 60 million denarii

· If 1 denarius = 1 day’s wage, then 60 million denarii = 60 million workdays, or 200,000 years of labor for one person working 300 days/year.

   Now, allow me to provide you with some historical context that may help us to understand the size of this man’s debt.

· King Herod’s entire tax income was around 900 talents.

· So, 10,000 talents would be more than 11 times the revenue of an entire kingdom. (Josephus, Antiquities of the Jews).

  Now, if we use gold instead of silver as the method of arriving at our figures, using today’s value of Gold (May 2025), the debt here in our text is 24 billion dollars.

   The King had every right to demand payment. The servant however was unable to pay. The king was going to sell him, his wife, his kids, and everything he had so that he could collect something from the debt.

   The man (the debtor) fell on his face before the King and he asked for patience (more time), and told the King that he would pay his debt.

   When the King witnessed the man falling before him, our text tells us, he was moved with compassion, released him, and forgave him the debt. He forgave the man an impossible debt.

   We must not miss what Jesus is teaching his disciples. This story is a picture of God’s mercy toward us – we all owed more than we could ever repay.

   Thank God for FORGIVENESS!

Scene Two – The Servant Settles His Account – 18:28-29

   28“But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe! 29 So his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’ 30 And he would not, but went and threw him into prison till he should pay the debt.

   You would think that being forgiven a large sum of debt would make you gracious and that you would be willing to forgive those who owe you a small sum of debt, but that is not always the case. And neither is it today!

   The man who was forgiven goes out and finds a fellow servant who owes him a hundred denarii (a small fraction) and he takes him by the throat – he’s being a little aggressive, don’t you think?

   What is the value of 100 denarii? It is a little over three months of a working man's salary. And in today’s value, we are looking at about 15,000 dollars.

   This man’s motto was: Pay me what you owe me.

   The servant who was in debt to the servant that was forgiven also fell on his face, and begged him, ‘Have patience with me, and I will pay you all.’  But the forgiven servant was unwilling to show mercy (even though he had just received it). He was unwilling to extend forgiveness, and he had his debtor thrown into prison until he could pay his debt.

   Question: How can you pay a debt when you are in prison? You can’t!

   This man’s actions reveal a heart unchanged by grace – he had received forgiveness but didn’t let it transform him.

Scene Three - A Community of Concerned Servants – 18:31

   31So when his fellow servants saw what had been done, they were very grieved, and came and told their master all that had been done.

  Note: Your actions are always seen by others. His fellow servants saw what had transpired between him and the King, and now between him and his debtor and they were grieved. They witnessed hypocrisy and injustice in the raw, and it was ugly.

   Folks, this reminds us that our unwillingness to forgive others affects those around us; it poisons communities.

   True grace should ripple outward, not stop with us.

Scene Four - A Reckoning from the King – 18:32-34

   32Then his master, after he had called him, said to him, ‘You wicked servant! I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. 33 Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ 34And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him.

   Take note that the man went from being a servant with a debt to being a forgiven servant, to now being called a “wicked servant—not because he owed a debt, but because he refused to forgive.

   The king asked the man, ‘Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant, just as I had pity on you?’ What is the right answer here? All of us know the right answer. He should have extended forgiveness to the man who owed him little. And so should we!

   And his master was angry, and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due to him. This man faced judgment because mercy was received but not extended.

   This story Jesus tells teaches that forgiveness isn’t optional in the kingdom—it’s expected. When you have been forgiven you are to forgive.

   We now come to the last verse. What final words does Jesus speak?

III. A Warning to All Who Receive Mercy – 18:35

   35“So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”

   We need to understand that this story about the unforgiving servant is not about losing salvation, but everything about the evidence of one’s salvation. Forgiven people FORGIVE!

   Judgment day for the believer will not be an issue of salvation – our salvation is secure. However, we will have to answer the way we have lived our lives, and it will include our unwillingness to forgive those who owe us small debts. And in comparison, to the debt that God has forgiven us, every other debt is small.

Here is an important thought – an unforgiving heart may reveal a heart that may not have experienced God’s mercy. 

   True forgiveness isn’t just an action—it’s a matter of the heart.

Conclusion: Folks, it is time to Burn the Ledger.

Like Thomas in the story, some of us are still holding tight to old accounts.

Jesus doesn’t just ask us to forgive – He showed us what forgiveness looked like on the cross.

You’ll never be asked to forgive more than what God has already forgiven you.  

Two Questions we need to ask ourselves as we leave today:

Who do we need to forgive from the heart today?

What “ledger” do we need to burn?

   One final thought: Forgiveness is not about forgetting what they did; it’s about remembering what Christ has done.

[1]Carson, D. A. (1984). Matthew. In F. E. Gaebelein (Ed.), The Expositor’s Bible Commentary: Matthew, Mark, Luke (Vol. 8, p. 405). Zondervan Publishing House.