Robert and Jessica Wedding

Sincere Love & Selfless Action: A Foundation for Marriage

Bible Passage: Romans 12:9–18

Introduction

Robert and Jessica, it’s an honor to be with you today. It’s been a blessing to spend many pre-marital pastoral counseling sessions with you. You’re such a fun couple!

The text I chose was your favorite of these five readings. It’s Romans 12. In the book of Romans, Paul writes to the Church, encouraging them to live in sincere love and selfless action. Paul desires them to be sincere and selfless because of Christ’s sincere love and selfless action on the cross. In this section of his letter, Paul appeals to the Romans to live not conformed to the patterns of this world, but to be transformed by the renewal of your mind in Christ Jesus (Romans 12:2).

Paul encourages them to pattern their lives, their marriages after Jesus who loved us like a groom loves his bride. A couple coming together in Christian marriage, is a literal patterning your lives after Christ who so loved you that He laid down his life for His bride the Church. Jesus lays down His life because He loves you so much.

We just sang about this kind of love in Love Divine, All Love Excelling — “Jesus, Thou art all compassion, Pure, unbounded love Thou art.” Jesus doesn’t hold anything back. He puts out perfect love and Paul uses Christ’s love as the measuring stick of sincere love and selfless action. You see, both sincere love and selfless action must come together in harmony for a marriage centered in Christ.

Here what Paul says about sincere love in Romans 12:9-16.

1. Sincere Love: Cherish and Honor

Romans 12:9–16 ESV

Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good. Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord. Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them. Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with one another.

Robert and Jessica, marriage rooted in “genuine love” or "sincere Love" cherishes, honors and respects each other. Genuine love. Sincere love, rejects evil and clings to good. Genuine love tries even harder to honor the other person in ways that the spouse is celebrated and appreciated. This kind of love holds onto the good.

Both of you have the opportunity to sincerely love one another in your home with your delightful dogs, cuddly cats, lovely Lyra, and with family and friends that visit you. As you follow Jesus, you are blessed to emulate Christ’s genuine love. How? By putting the other person first. You see, a marriage thrives as we sincerely love one another in a way that mirrors Christ's genuine love for us. Jesus loved us that He humbled himself becoming a servant and even dying on the cross for our sins and shortcomings. That’s true, honest, genuine love.

Imagine a pristine lake on a sunny day. The water is so clear that you can see the colorful fish swimming effortlessly beneath the surface. This lake reminds us of purity in our hearts as we walk with Christ with genuine, authentic, pure love. As Christ richly dwells in the lives of people who trust Him as their Savior, Jesus cleans our hearts and purifies us to think and act more like Him. Just as the lake is an untouched beauty of creation, our marriages can reflect a similar purity when we walk closely with God.

Jess, you shared one of Rob’s best qualities is his honesty. To marry someone whose best quality is honesty means you’re spending your days with someone who has a heart that is crystal clear, transparent like a pristine lake where you can see down 100 feet in the water and see the fish swimming around. Rob cherishes you so much that his heart is loaded up with such sincere love that he will share the truth. Jess, you can look into his heart and know exactly where you’re at because he’s honest.

Think about the implications of marrying someone whose best quality is honesty. Rob will be truthful—for better; for worse, for richer; for poorer, in sickness and in health. Rob will share the God’s honest truth with you through the ups and downs in life. He will tell you what you need to hear. He will tell you what you don’t want to hear, but need to hear it anyway. That’s the guy you’re marrying. That’s a man who sincerely loves you. You know where his heart is at, because he’s honest. His love is genuine! His love is real (Romans 12:9). Wow, Jess you got quite a guy!

Next, selfless action.

2. Selfless Actions: Overcome with Good

Romans 12:17–18 ESV

Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.

Rob and Jess, a marriage built on “selfless action” can overcome adversity. This kind of marriage honors the other and puts the other first. You go first, no you go first, but I insist you go first.

Imagine a group of friends deciding to go out for ice cream. Everyone has their favorite flavor, but one friend quietly steps back, saying, 'You go ahead and choose, I’ll take whatever is left.' This simple act of putting others first mirrors Jesus' selfless love for us. He consistently chose our needs over His own, even laying down His life on the cross for our benefit.

Jess, selfless action goes beyond emotions like, “Rob, you’re a handsome prince charming dressed in all black. I just want to kiss you!” You see, selfless action goes beyond emotions to actions. Selfless actions are things like small and large acts of kindness, I’m going to shovel the snow off your car today. Little actions of selfless love. This resonates with how Jesus extended grace.

A marriage where spouses put each other first is selfless action. A marriage characterized by selfless action does what is honorable even when the situation might be difficult. In the Bible, we see Jesus washing His disciples’ feet—a job reserved for the lowest servant. Jesus demonstrates this selfless action by humbling Himself and then He tells His friends one last instruction.

John 13:34 ESV

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.

Rob, you shared Jess’ most beautiful qualities is her selfless action to hold you accountable. By holding you accountable, she’s thinking of you before herself. She’s putting what’s best for you first. It’s not neccesarily what is best for her, but she’s holding you accountable because she loves you and it’s best for you. That’s loving someone like Jesus, because Christ loved us so much that He laid it all down on the cross, not because it was best for Him, but it was best for you.

Jess loves you so much that she is willing to put it all on the line and hold you accountable. That’s a wife who lives by selfless actions. She will love you so much that she will hold you accountable in the good days and in the bad days. Wow, Rob that’s someone who loves you!

Spirit Indwelling: Enabling Sincere Love and Selfless Action

In a couple minutes you’re going to exchange your vows and exchange rings. It will be a special moment on your special day.

Think about how a groom might carefully select the perfect ring for his bride, symbolizing his commitment. In a similar way, Christ chose you as His beloved, giving you the ultimate 'ring'—the Holy Spirit! Just like a wedding ring is a daily reminder of love and devotion, the Spirit dwells within us, reminding us of Christ’s promises and His eternal commitment to us. We wear our faith like that ring, because we belong to Him. You see Jesus the ultimate love. He has brought you together and He has the power to hold you together as you trust in Him. Jesus is your ultimate love the One your heart and your marriage needs as you cherish and honor one another all the rest of your days.

As you begin your marriage, may the Holy Spirit richly dwell in you through faith in Christ, so that His sincere love and His selfless action would be celebrated in your life together. May the Holy Spirit take firm hold of you and may the love of Jesus be present in your marriage.

God bless you!