When a Brother Sins
Jason W Hill
The Gospel of Matthew • Sermon • Submitted • Presented • 1:09:32
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· 13 viewsMay 25, 2025
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Text: Matthew 18:15-20
Introduction: Last week we looked at the first half of Mt. 18, where Jesus taught his disciples about humility in the Kingdom. They had come to him asking who was the greatest in the Kingdom, and we saw Jesus flip the question on its head and emphasize that we have to humble ourselves on earth to be great in the Kingdom of Heaven. Jesus went on to caution his disciples against causing a brother or sister to sin, and then in vv. 10-14, he emphasized the Father’s care and love for his people.
Verse 15 and following almost seems at first like a complete change of topic. We go from hearing Jesus say in Matthew 18:14 “So it is not the will of my Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish” to all of the sudden in Matthew 18:17 talking about Church discipline: “If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
But, if we pay attention to the transitions in Mt. 18:1 and Mt. 19:1, it’s clear that chapter 18 is all one unit. And, I think as we dig a little deeper, we’ll see that this whole chapter, even the part about Church discipline, is really all about humility in the Kingdom of God.
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.
20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
Main Point/FCF:
Application:
Prayer
Every believer must submit to the Church’s rightful authority. (18:15-20)
Every believer must submit to the Church’s rightful authority. (18:15-20)
If the first half of Mt. 18 is Jesus emphasizing the importance of humility in the Kingdom of God, the second half is him explaining what true humility looks like.
The doctrine that this passage outlines is commonly referred to as “Church Discipline,” primarily because in the final stage of this process, the Church steps in.
I want to first show you some principles from this passage about Church discipline, then I’m going to show you how this all relates to the rest of Matthew 18.
1. The aim of Church discipline is reconciliation.
1. The aim of Church discipline is reconciliation.
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
The purpose of this is to prevent bitterness and resentment from arising between brothers and sisters in Christ.
The aim of confrontation is to resolve the disagreement and bring restoration.
Many of us are people pleasers, and we don’t like confrontation. But gentle, godly confrontation can not only be healthy but lead to deeper relationships with better mutual understanding.
At the same time, those of us who are less put off by confrontation need to do an attitude check before we approach someone—What is the goal of your confrontation? Are you trying to shame your brother or sister? Are you going to them out of anger or bitterness? Or do you genuinely desire to see a relationship restored and healed, and genuinely desire their wellbeing.
1 If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.
If you are not genuinely desirous of their good and their upbuilding, then you should probably wait to confront them.
2. Church discipline should be done with patience and discretion.
2. Church discipline should be done with patience and discretion.
15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.
16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
We call this passage “Church” discipline, but if it’s done correctly, it should rarely ever be brought before the Church. The first step is usually a one-on-one conversation.
Notice that Facebook is nowhere involved in this process. We don’t film a video expose’ and post it online. We don’t go gossip to our friends about how someone did us wrong or what a dirty sinner they are. We confront them, one on one to their face.
And, by way of advice, don’t assume they intended to wrong you! Many times offenses and hurts boil down to simple misunderstandings and miscommunications. Assume the best of people.
If that doesn’t work—if the brother or sister is unrepentant or refuses to acknowledge wrongdoing, and it is clearly a case of sin (not just personality differences)—we take one or two witnesses. Not a mob, not the whole church, one or two mature believers.
It may be best to give some time in between these approaches for the Spirit to do his work. This doesn’t all have to happen within a day or even a week. Sometimes time can help to soften someone’s heart.
3. Church discipline operates on the principle that genuine believers will repent when confronted with their sin.
3. Church discipline operates on the principle that genuine believers will repent when confronted with their sin.
16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.
17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.
A church member who refuses to humble themselves and repent reveals the true state of their heart.
This is why I said earlier that this passage is still about humility.
At the root of this stubbornness and refusal to repent is pride. This whole chapter is all about humility and pride. Pride is the enemy of the Kingdom of God.
2 And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them 3 and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.
None of us likes being told we’re wrong, and for many of us, our gut reaction is to get defensive, blame-shift, or even to lie. But, for a believer, there ought to be a point where the Holy Spirit brings conviction and repentance.
If that time doesn’t come, that’s a very clear signal that we don’t have the Holy Spirit in our lives.
I think of two very clear examples of this in Scripture. In the Old Testament, Saul disobeys God when God ordered him to exterminate the Amalekites. When Samuel confronts Saul, Saul says:
13 ...“Blessed be you to the Lord. I have performed the commandment of the Lord.”
14 And Samuel said, “What then is this bleating of the sheep in my ears and the lowing of the oxen that I hear?”
15 Saul said, “They have brought them from the Amalekites, for the people spared the best of the sheep and of the oxen to sacrifice to the Lord your God, and the rest we have devoted to destruction.”
19 Why then did you not obey the voice of the Lord? Why did you pounce on the spoil and do what was evil in the sight of the Lord?”
20 And Saul said to Samuel, “I have obeyed the voice of the Lord. I have gone on the mission on which the Lord sent me. I have brought Agag the king of Amalek, and I have devoted the Amalekites to destruction.
21 But the people took of the spoil, sheep and oxen, the best of the things devoted to destruction, to sacrifice to the Lord your God in Gilgal.”
Saul refused to acknowledge wrongdoing. He repeatedly shifted blame to someone else, just like Adam did to Eve and Eve did to the serpent.
David also committed a grave sin—adultery. But look at the difference in David’s reaction when he was confronted by the prophet:
9 Why have you despised the word of the Lord, to do what is evil in his sight? You have struck down Uriah the Hittite with the sword and have taken his wife to be your wife and have killed him with the sword of the Ammonites.
13 David said to Nathan, “I have sinned against the Lord.” And Nathan said to David, “The Lord also has put away your sin; you shall not die.
How you react when you are confronted with your sin says a lot about your spiritual state before God. The Holy Spirit produces humility in the heart of a believer, tenderness towards sin, and a willingness to repent.
When a church gets to this point in the process and the member still refuses to listen, the church is to treat him as a “Gentile and a tax collector”—which means treat him as you would an unbeliever.
And this brings up an important principle...
4. Church discipline is rooted in the gospel.
4. Church discipline is rooted in the gospel.
18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.
If you have been paying attention, then you’ll recognize that verse because we’ve heard it before.
In Matthew 16, Peter confesses that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of the Living God.
Jesus says that Peter has been blessed by the Father with this knowledge, and then he entrusts what he calls the “Keys to the Kingdom of heaven” to Peter.
He goes on to elaborate that Peter has been granted the authority to “bind” and “loose” with eternal consequences.
18 And I tell you, you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it.
19 I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven, and whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven.”
In Matthew 16, I argued that the “keys to the kingdom” is the gospel—the message that Peter proclaimed, that “Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God.” The “binding” and “loosing” that Peter did happened through his preaching of the gospel. In other words, as Peter preached the gospel, the message that Jesus was the Messiah and the Son of God, people were either brought to repentance and saved (i.e., “bound in heaven”) or they were hardened against the message of the gospel (i.e., “loosed in heaven”).
Here, in Matthew 18, Jesus applies this language of binding and loosing to church discipline.
What does this mean? Basically, the same thing! When the church calls on one of its members to repent of sin, they are preaching the gospel to that member. They are saying, “your actions and refusal to repent are inconsistent with the message of the gospel and your stated conversion.” The gospel calls us to submit in humility to Christ and the Church that he founded. When we refuse to do that, refuse to repent of sin and humble ourselves, we are rejecting the very gospel we claim to believe.
In the book of Acts, as the church was just getting started, there’s a story about a husband and wife named Ananias and Sapphira. It was the early days of the church, and everyone was excited. Many people were selling off their property and donating the proceeds to the church so that the Church could better care for their poorest members.
Well, in the midst of this, this couple named Ananias and Sapphira decide to sell off their property, but they kept back some of the proceeds from the sale. Which would have been fine, except when they brought it to Peter and the Church, they lied and said that it was the entirety of the proceeds.
But a man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, and with his wife’s knowledge he kept back for himself some of the proceeds and brought only a part of it and laid it at the apostles’ feet.
But Peter said, “Ananias, why has Satan filled your heart to lie to the Holy Spirit and to keep back for yourself part of the proceeds of the land?
While it remained unsold, did it not remain your own? And after it was sold, was it not at your disposal? Why is it that you have contrived this deed in your heart? You have not lied to man but to God.”
When Ananias heard these words, he fell down and breathed his last. And great fear came upon all who heard of it.
When a believer or the Church confronts you with sin and you refuse to repent, you have not rejected that brother or sister or the Church, you have rejected God.
The church is obligated in such instances to call out such sin and hypocrisy. And, when a church member refuses to repent of their sin and humble themselves, the Church has a duty to “loose” that member—to treat them as a “Gentile and a tax collector”—which means to treat them as an unbeliever. This means removal of the privileges of Church membership, aka “excommunication.”
The underlying Greek in verse 18 probably could better be read:
18 I assure you: Whatever you bind on earth is already bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth is already loosed in heaven.
When the church disciplines and casts out an unbelieving member, it is proclaiming the gospel both to that member, to itself, and to the world— “true salvation comes through humility and repentance. There is no salvation without humility and repentance.”
5. A self-disciplined church invites the presence of God.
5. A self-disciplined church invites the presence of God.
19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
We love to quote Mt. 18:20 on days when our attendance is low. But this verse has nothing at all to do with low attendance! It’s about church discipline!
What this verse means is that when a church stands firm upon the gospel and says, “We will not allow prideful, arrogant, unrepentant people in our midst, who proclaim the gospel with their mouths but deny it with their lives” the presence and blessing of God rests upon that church.
Isn’t that judgmental? I thought we weren’t supposed to judge!
People tell me ‘Judge not lest ye be judged.’ I always tell them, ‘Twist not Scripture, lest ye be like Satan.’”
Paul Washer
What Jesus actually said was...
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you.
Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?
Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye?
You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye.
In context, Jesus isn’t saying that you should never judge. What he is saying is that you better be careful when you do so and make sure you’ve dealt with sin in your own life first.
This is why in Mt. 18, Church discipline is handled by the church as a whole, not just one person. When the church is gathered, and we have multiple perspectives on the issue and situation, we can make a much better and more righteous judgement than we can on our own. Other passages make this very clear:
1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.
3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. 4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus,
5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.
If you don’t judge yourself and let the Church judge you, then God will be your judge one day.
We’re not talking about matters of Christian conscience—like whether or not we are bound by the Sabbath, or whether or not drinking in moderation is permissible, or interpretative differences on minor doctrines—we’re talking about flagrant issues of sin. Black and white, right and wrong. Sexual immorality, embezzling, stealing, violence, abuse, and so on. Things that even unbelievers would tend to recognize as wrong.
On these issues, the Church has a duty and God-given obligation to police itself and judge its members. And when it does so, it invites the presence and blessing of God:
4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus,
5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.
6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?
7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.
8 Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
It is not our business to judge outsiders—those who do not claim to be Christians.
9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world.
11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.
12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge?
If an unbeliever down the road is living in sin, that’s not a matter for the church. If an unbeliever down the road is embezzling from his company, that’s not a matter for the church but for the courts. If the guy across the street is living in a homosexual relationship, that’s not our business—we’re not going to bring them up for church discipline, because they don’t belong to us anyhow. We share the gospel with such people. We can plead with them to repent and come to know Christ, but at the end of the day, we have no authority over them.
However, if someone who is a member of our church and claims to be a believer is living in sin and refusing to repent, that is a matter for the church. If someone within our church role is being living with someone they’re not married to, cheating on their spouse, embezzling from their company, abusing their wife or children, getting wasted on the weekends, living in homosexuality, spreading rumors or causing division in the church, that is the business of the church, because it declares a false gospel and it hinders the witness and testimony of the Church.
If you are such a person, then I urge you to repent so that this business of confrontation isn’t even necessary. Since this is the first time I’ve ever preached on this issue, I have no intention of setting out to bring our church 100% into alignment on this issue immediately. I understand that it takes some time. But if you know full well that what I’ve said applies to you, then now is your opportunity to repent. Do not mistake Christ’s and his Church’s patience with apathy.
3 knowing this first of all, that scoffers will come in the last days with scoffing, following their own sinful desires.
4 They will say, “Where is the promise of his coming? For ever since the fathers fell asleep, all things are continuing as they were from the beginning of creation.”
5 For they deliberately overlook this fact, that the heavens existed long ago, and the earth was formed out of water and through water by the word of God,
6 and that by means of these the world that then existed was deluged with water and perished.
7 But by the same word the heavens and earth that now exist are stored up for fire, being kept until the day of judgment and destruction of the ungodly.
8 But do not overlook this one fact, beloved, that with the Lord one day is as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.
9 The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance.
10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief, and then the heavens will pass away with a roar, and the heavenly bodies will be burned up and dissolved, and the earth and the works that are done on it will be exposed.
6. A prideful church invites the presence of Satan.
6. A prideful church invites the presence of Satan.
1 It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife.
2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.
6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump?
13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”
When churches refuse to discipline members that are clearly in sin, it isn’t humility they’re exercising, it’s pride. A pride that says, “We don’t think repentance is a necessary part of the gospel.” That’s why Paul calls them arrogant. They think their above God’s word and that it doesn’t apply to them.
A lot of people hate the idea of church discipline because it doesn’t seem consistent with grace to them. They say things like, “Well, we all mess up, but there’s grace.” That’s absolutely true, but there is no grace without repentance. Grace without repentance is lawlessness.
It declares a cheap gospel. A gospel that says, “Jesus is your ticket to heaven but he demands nothing of you.” It communicates a gospel that says “Jesus can be your savior even if you refuse to let him be your king.” It preaches a gospel of a Kingdom where men and women exalt themselves and refuse to kneel to Christ. A Kingdom where people are more concerned with their position and their own pride than they are the glory of God.
Dietrich Bonhoeffer talked about this kind of “grace” and called it “cheap grace.”
“Cheap grace is the preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, communion without confession, absolution without personal confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ, living and incarnate.
Costly grace is the treasure hidden in the field; for the sake of it a man will gladly go and sell all that he has.”
Dietrich Bonhoeffer
Grace is freely given, it is a gift. But it does not come cheap. It was bought with a price.
9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,
10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
Churches that refuse to practice discipline refuse to apply the clear teaching of the word of God. This is not optional.
I am convinced that one of the primary reasons for the decline of the Church in America that we have seen over the past few decades is precisely this issue. I’m not aware of any studies—maybe there have been—but when churches refuse to follow the clear teaching of Scripture and purge out unrepentant unbelievers, it preaches a false gospel. When churches allow unbelieving hypocrites to remain members and treat them as if they’re believers, all the while judging outsiders, the world sees that hypocrisy and it undermines the gospel we preach.
I’ve seen this happen more times than I’d care to admit. I know of churches who did nothing when prominent members engaged in adultery. I’ve seen members be rightly excommunicated from one Baptist church and then go down the street and join the next one, no questions asked. I’ve also watched as those churches struggled and declined, having lost the blessing of God.
I know of another church where a member was divisive and quarrelsome, constantly stirring up trouble and eventually caused a church split where 30% or more of the members left. This individual went to another nearby Baptist church. The pastor of that church called her former pastor and got the story. He promised her former pastor that she would not be admitted to membership until she went and apologized. But, in the end, he caved and let her join.
It wasn’t long before she was back to the same antics, and she ended up getting her new pastor fired at the new church and causing another rift in another church. Afterwards, that pastor called her former pastor and apologized. The first church that had sent her out has recovered and is doing well. The second church is dying.
When we knowingly refuse to obey what God’s word tells us, we invite disaster. When we refuse to correct and expose sin, we preach a false gospel.
9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,
10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.
And if we stopped right there, probably every one of us in this room would be doomed.
There’s been a lot about judgement in this sermon. Maybe it’s left you feeling like you’re not good enough to be a church member. But, if that’s how you feel, then you’ve missed my point. Remember the first thing I said about Church discipline?
The aim of Church discipline is reconciliation.
And that’s where grace comes in. We’ve talked a lot about the need to stand firm upon the gospel, but Church discipline is aimed at bringing about repentance. In the overwhelming majority of cases, a simple one on one conversation ought to be all that is needed. When a believer confronts us with sin, we ought to have the humility to repent and apologize, and if we do, that’s the end of it.
We don’t excommunicate someone merely for stealing or even for committing adultery. We only excommunicate when they refuse to repent.
11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
The church is not a group of people who have never struggled with sin. We are a collection of sinners—former adulterers, thieves, liers, gluttons, idolaters, drunkards, homosexuals, drug users, swindlers—who have repented of those ways, turned our backs on those sins, and thrown ourselves upon the mercy and grace of God.
We don’t call out people for sin because we think we’re better than them. We call out people in sin because we care about them too much to let them destroy themselves.
1 Corinthians 6:11 “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”
So, if you hear that list and feel convicted, then your response should be repentance! If that list describes you in some way and you have not repented, you need to get right with God!
Reflection Questions:
What should you do if someone does something that hurts or offends you?
How do you respond when you get caught doing something wrong?
What is the main aim of church discipline?
How does the process of church discipline reflect the concept of humility in the Kingdom of God?
How can we practice humility in our confrontations with others?
What should be the attitude of a believer when confronted about sin according to the sermon?
What does it mean to be treated as a ‘Gentile and a tax collector’ in the context of church discipline?
