Why Does God Feel Distant?

Hook

Opening Story

It was May, 2018, and Maria and I were preparing to celebrate Joshua’s first birthday. Family and friends were beginning to descend on our house, and we were working through the last minute preparations. As the party began, my wife asked to speak to be privately in our bedroom. She said seven words that hit me like a ton of bricks. She said, “I think I just lost the baby.”

You see, a month and a half prior, Maria had let me know that she was pregnant again. Both of us were quite surprised, and to be honest, I was not okay, or all that happy, about another baby. We already had three healthy kids. The last birth was kind of difficult. I wasn’t prepared for that kind of news. Over the couple weeks following learning that we were having another baby, I wrestled with God and finally came to a place where I was excited about another child. Then, the conversation in private at Joshua’s birthday party, which was confirmed hours later. We had a miscarriage - a child I was not expecting, but now was excited to meet, was now in the arms of Jesus… and I was filled with all kinds of questions and emotions toward God.

Series Intro

All of us have been there. The circumstances are different. The hurts aren’t the same. The questions vary. But all of us have been in a situation where we have questions about God, about faith, about how to continue to believe or live in the midst of the real world. Sometimes those questions are deeply personal like:

Where are you in the midst of this messed up relationship?

Why can’t I seem to get the big break?

Or why would you let me get so excited about this unborn child just to have the pregnancy end in a miscarriage?

Other questions are larger in scale:

Where is God in the midst of war and famine in our world?

Does prayer actually do anything?

Why do bad things happen to good people?

This month, we are going to be honest about some of these questions that we wrestle with. Throughout the month of June, we will dive into a different question - not so much to offer a pat answer, but simple to engage with the question and explore it from different aspects. I am not someone who is standing before you with all of the answers. Instead, I am a fellow questioner and doubter, who is on the journey of trying to follow Christ in the midst of those questions.

Sermon Intro

So this morning, we are going to be turning our attention to a question that almost all of us have had to wrestle with at some point or another. It’s a question that has led some to leave the faith altogether. For others, it is simply a question that has arisen out of the experience of trying to live a life of faith. The question: If God is real, then why does God feel so distant?

Prayer

Head

If God is real, then why does God feel so distant?

Let’s be honest here this morning, raise your hand if you have ever struggled with a place, time, or situation where God felt distant, absent, or non-existent? Look at that… pretty much every one of us! It is amazing how alone, unseen, and odd it can feel to have a question and an experience that is common to pretty much everyone.

And here’s the thing, this isn’t a new question or a new problem to arise in the world.

Scripture Doesn’t Shy Away from Places Where God Feels Distant

You see, contrary to what many of us may believe or been told about Scripture, the truth is that Scripture does not shy away from places where God feels distant. In fact, those stories and expressions are written all across Scripture, and they can be rather raw, honest, and real. Let me give you three examples:

David

David, one of the greatest kings of Israel, was the writer of a large number of the Psalms, which is a large songbook placed in the middle of the Old Testament. Some of those psalms are joyful and light-hearted, but there are a series of psalms, known as lament psalms, that are darker and speak to situations where David felt like God was absent, distant, or disengaged.

In Psalm 13, David says the following:

New Living Translation Psalm 13:1–2

O LORD, how long will you forget me? Forever?

How long will you look the other way?

How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul,

with sorrow in my heart every day?

How long will my enemy have the upper hand?

Then, again, in Psalm 22, he states:

New Living Translation Psalm 22:1

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

Why are you so far away when I groan for help?

This is a man who is said to be a “man after God’s own heart” declaring in a song lyric that has been enshrined in Jewish and Christian scripture for all-time questioning as to why God is distant, why God has forgotten him, why God has abandoned him. Very real emotions and feelings that Scripture doesn’t shy away from or try to smooth over.

Job

Then, there is Job, the quintessential Bible character to bring up when talking about situations where God feels distant or absent. At the beginning of Job’s story, Job is a wealthy man with a large family, and due to a series of events, he loses almost everything in a short period of time. All his family dies, his wealth goes away, and he is left sitting in the ashes of his former life with his body covered in boils.

Most of the book of Job recounts his conversations with friends and his attempt to rationalize or understand why God has allowed this to happen to him, and in Job 23, he says the following about God’s presence:

New Living Translation Job 23:8–9

I go east, but he is not there.

I go west, but I cannot find him.

I do not see him in the north, for he is hidden.

I look to the south, but he is concealed.

Job is yet another story where Scripture doesn’t shy away from God’s seeming absence.

Jesus

And then there is Jesus, God with flesh on. You would think that the second person of the Trinity wouldn’t have to deal or experience feelings of abandonment since his is fully God. But he is also fully man, and there are moments when we see the fullness of that humanity displayed.

One such moment occurs while Jesus is dying on the cross. In the midst of an amazing moment of divine love and sacrifice, Jesus quotes David’s lyrics from Psalm 22. In Matthew 27, we are told the following:

New Living Translation Matthew 27:46

At about three o’clock, Jesus called out with a loud voice, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” which means “My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?”

While theologians argue over whether God truly was absent in this moment, what is obvious is that even Jesus experience the emotion and feeling of abandonment.

Scripture doesn’t shy away from places where God feels distant. Instead, Scripture engages honestly and openly with the very real places and spaces where God feels distant in our lives.

God Affirms the Presence of Doubt & Invites Questions

But not only does Scripture engage honestly and opening with those places, but God actually affirms the presence of doubt in our live and invites our questions.

Job

That guy Job that we talked about a few minutes ago? Most of his story and the book of the Bible with his name on it is the story of asking a bunch of questions and expressing a lot of doubts. Here’s the crazy thing: the story doesn’t end with Job being struck down because he asked too many questions or had too many doubts. No, the story ends with God graciously showing up in Job’s life, meeting him in his questions, and blessing him moving forward.

Jesus with Father Dealing with Unbelief

Jesus himself deals with multiple people who express honest doubt and questions toward him. In one instance, Jesus is confronted with a father who desperately wanted his son to be healed. In the course of the conversation, Jesus asks the father whether he believes that Jesus can heal. The father’s response is found in Mark 9:24:

New Living Translation Mark 9:24

The father instantly cried out, “I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief!”

Guess what Jesus does after this: He heals the boy. In the midst of the father’s doubt and questions, Jesus brought healing.

Jesus Toward Thomas

Then, after Jesus is resurrection from the grave, Jesus meets with all of his disciples except for one, Thomas. Thomas tells the rest of the gang of disciples that he is not going to believe that Jesus is really alive unless he sees the holes in his hands and feet. Again, Jesus doesn’t take Thomas out because of this. No, he meets him in his doubt and questions.

You see, not only does Scripture not shy away from the places where God feels distant or absent, God affirms the presence of doubt and welcomes our questions in the midst of those spaces and places.

God Promises to Be with Us (Even When We Don’t Feel It)

So what does Scripture have to say about God’s presence with us. In short, we are reminded over and again throughout Scripture that God is with us always. A quick sample of the many verses that speak to this are:

New Living Translation Jeremiah 29:13

If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me.

New Living Translation Hebrews 13:5

“I will never fail you.

I will never abandon you.”

New Living Translation Romans 8:38–39

And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

And the list could go on and on from there.

Why would God have to remind us so many times that he is present with us, will not forsake us, and will not abandon us? Because He knows that there are times in life where it feels like we have been abandoned, forsaken, and left to our own devices. God knows that life is going to happen - “In this world you will have trouble” - and when that trouble comes most of us are going to feel like God has abandoned us, so he continually reminds us of his presence, even when we can’t feel it.

Heart

N.T. Wright Podcast Story

One of my favorite podcasts is called, Ask N.T. Wright Anything. If you don’t know, N.T. Wright is a prolific author, theologian, and Oxford professor. On this podcast, he fields a myriad of questions that listeners write in to the show. Most of the questions are questions about Scripture or faith concepts from a more academic standpoint. About 2 weeks ago, I was listening to this podcast, and a different kind of question was asked. A listener wrote into the show and said that she was a Palestinian Christian living in Gaza. She loves N.T. Wright’s emphasis on the inbreaking kingdom of God (how the Kingdom of God is being revealed around us), but she was struggling because of the situation she was in. Then came the question, “Where is God and how can the Kingdom of God be revealed in the midst of the horrors of war in Gaza?”

After spending some time empathizing to the best of his ability with this woman’s situation, N.T. Wright offered up one of the best suggestions for where to look for God in the midst of really difficult moments and situations. He suggested that God is present when one family helps another family with some food. He suggested that God is present when aid workers work long and hard to get help to civilians. He suggested that God is present in the seemingly small places of kindness, goodness, peace, patience, joy, faithfulness, and the like.

I don’t know where each of you are this morning. Some of you may be feeling like God is distant, some may not. Some may wonder about God’s presence because of atrocities that continue across the globe. Others may wonder about His presence because of a situation at work, with your kids, or because of a recent diagnosis.

Maybe, just maybe this morning God really is present still, but has been working in the seemingly small places where love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control are found. Maybe God is present through those who are helping, speaking out, or advocating for change. Maybe God is present in the help with meals, watching of kids, or prayers of others. Maybe God is present in the nurses, doctors, or surgeons. Maybe God is present, but in a way we didn’t expect.

Hands

What Now?

So what do we do now? What can we learn from this journey into the question of God’s presence? Well, let me offer three simple encouragements for you this morning.

Practice Honest Prayer

The first is to practice honest prayer. If you are feeling like God is absent or distant, it is okay to say it. David’s words in the Psalms seem to show that God would much rather us come to him with our honest and genuine feelings than to worry that we might offend him. Here’s the truth: God can take it.

If your image of God is so small that he will be offended by your honest prayers, then it is not the God of the Bible that you are praying to. Practice honest prayer. God can take it.

Read Laments in Scripture

The second is to read some of the Laments in Scripture. Psalm 13 & 22 are great places to start. There’s a whole book of the Bible called Lamentations. When you are feeling like God is distant, these scriptures might offer some words to express where you find yourself and serve as a reminder that you aren’t the first person to feel like this.

Return to Silence & Stillness

The third is to take time to practice silence and stillness. There are many amazing things about our modern world, but one of the drawbacks we deal with is that we are constantly being bombarded with information, notifications, and noise of infinite variety. I know for me personally, one of the reasons I have such difficulty recognizing God’s presence is because I am constantly distracted by the noise surrounding me.

Cultivating a practice of spending time in silence and stillness is a great way to combat the noise and distraction to give space for God to reveal himself to you.

The day of our miscarriage was a Saturday, and I was scheduled to preach and lead the worship service the next day at the church I was pastoring. It was too late in the week to get someone else to take my place in the service. I woke up Sunday morning after getting very little sleep wrestling with God most of the night in prayer, anger, and hurt. The sermon was complete, and I prepared myself to preach. I had written down a brief note about what had happened to be able to share with the congregation so that no one would ask why Maria wasn’t at church. Then, I left for church.

The service began without any issues. The music went well, and then I came up to lead the prayer time. I read my prepared statement, and started in to lead the congregation in prayer. As I prayed, I felt a hand on my shoulder. While my eyes were closed, an older gentleman who was a prayer warrior of the church walked up to the front to come pray for me. I began to get a little choked up, and then I opened my eyes and realized that there were about 10 people gathered around me praying for me and my family. Tears started streaming down my face, and in that moment I was reminded where God was in the middle of my hurt and pain.

In the end, I don’t have a perfect answer as to why God feels so present and real at some times and so distant at other times. Many times I wish I did have that kind of understanding. What I do know is that there have been spaces where I have experienced God’s presence in my life, and I am trusting in His promise to never leave or forsake me.

Amen.

Prayer