Family Matters 4 | The Role Of The Husband

The Role of the Husband (Ephesians 5:25-33)

Some husbands assert their independence by refusing to wear an apron while doing the dishes.

Anonymous

There would be a lot more happy marriages if husbands tried to understand their wives and wives tried to understand football.

Anonymous

Psalm 12:1 “Help, Lord; for the godly man ceaseth; For the faithful fail from among the children of men.”

Unkind and domineering husbands ought not to pretend to be Christians, for they act clean contrary to Christ’s commands. John Ploughman’s Talk, Page 92

Charles Spurgeon

Lead His Wife (vs.23-24)

Head - a person who is in charge.

Husbands cannot understand their daily responsibilities in a marriage without understanding that their primary purpose as heads of households is to help all persons in the home fully apprehend the Lord’s grace in their lives.

Bryan Chapell

Lead by Submission to Christ

Just as Christ is submitted to His Father, men are to be submissive to Christ.

If you try to lead by you being the head honcho, and not even attempting to be submissive to Christ, you will fail as a leader.

Everyone has someone that they are under submission to. (Your boss, and their boss, and their boss)

1 Peter 2:18 “Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward.”

Subject - to be or become inclined or willing to submit to orders or wishes of others.

A slave is forced to obey: a servant is willing to obey.

You should make your wife’s subjection a delight and not a distress.

This means that you are to humble yourself. Pride in the home will be a pitfall in the home.

James 4:6 “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.”

Trying to lead in pride means you are fighting your authority.

Lead by Scripture

You will never no how to lead your family if you don’t learn the Scripture.

Those that are in charge at the job site of a building don’t go by their own ideas, but by the blueprint of the building.

Psalm 143:10 “Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: Thy spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.”

Without Biblical patterns and no clear guidance for the husband, wife, and children, there will be bitter destruction.

Lead by the Spirit

For you to lead your family properly, you need to be filled with the Holy Spirit.

Lead Softly

Genesis 33:12-14,

Overdrive - to press severely

Softly - gentle

HUSBANDS, be a husband that God wants you to be, and that will help you to be the husband your wife wants you to be. Be a leader, not a dictator.

Your wife is not a peasant, she is precious.

Your wife is not stupid, she is special.

Your wife is not burdensome, she is beloved!

Love His Wife (vs.25-27)

Savior’s Love (As Christ also loved the Church)

Husbands, we should act like Christ. Wives, you should act like the church.

Christ CHOSE to love you!

Christ COMMITTED to love you!

Sacrificial Love (gave himself for it)

That gun may have to wait so you can put food on the table.

The game may have to go on so you can take your wife out on a date.

Don’t be a selfish husband, be a sacrificial husband that cares more about your bride than you do yourself.

Sanctifying Love (vs.26-27)

Sanctification positionally took place at salvation: sanctification practically is an ongoing thing.

When you got married, your marriage was sanctified (rendered holy) when you said “I DO.” But you should be growing in that sanctification in your marriage day by day. (More love, more holiness, more growth in Christ)

Don’t act like your wife is sinful: she’s sanctified (sanctify)

Don’t act like your wife is corrupt: act like she’s clean! (cleanse it)

Don’t act like your wife is gross: she is glorious! (present a glorious church)

Glorious - having great beauty and splendor!

Don’t act like your wife is stained: she has not spots! (not having spot)

Don’t act like your wife is wore out: she ain’t got any wrinkles! (or wrinkle)

Don’t act like your wife is a harlot: she is holy!

Don’t act like your wife has blotches: she is without blemish!

YOUR WIFE ORT TO FEEL LIKE SHE IS LOVED BY THE MOST AMAZING MAN THAT’S EVER BEEN!

Look-After His Wife (vs.28-29)

Nourisheth - to look after and take care of.

Acts 17:24–25 “God that made the world and all things therein, seeing that he is Lord of heaven and earth, dwelleth not in temples made with hands; Neither is worshipped with men’s hands, as though he needed any thing, seeing he giveth to all life, and breath, and all things;”

HUSBAND, YOUR FAMILY SHOULDN’T HAVE TO WORRY IF YOU ARE GOING TO PROVIDE MATERIAL NEEDS FOR YOUR FAMILY.

1 Timothy 5:8 “But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.”

2 Thessalonians 3:10–11 “For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat. For we hear that there are some which walk among you disorderly, working not at all, but are busybodies.”

Busybodies -  to behave as one who meddles intrusively and unprofitably in the affairs of others.

Look After Consistently

Isaiah 1:2–4 “Hear, O heavens, and give ear, O earth: For the Lord hath spoken, I have nourished and brought up children, And they have rebelled against me. The ox knoweth his owner, And the ass his master’s crib: But Israel doth not know, My people doth not consider. Ah sinful nation, a people laden with iniquity, A seed of evildoers, children that are corrupters: They have forsaken the Lord, They have provoked the Holy One of Israel unto anger, They are gone away backward.”

Christ endures with His bride: we ought to also endure with ours!

Look After Considerately

1 Peter 3:7 “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

Be careful what you say, do, how you make your facial expressions. Be careful how you treat your vase!

God does not bless with his blessing to those who are in position of authority and abuse those who are under them.

Look After Circumspectly

1 Timothy 3,

Vigilant - Watchful; attentive to discover and avoid danger, or to provide for safety. Cautiously; with watchfulness every way; with attention to guard against surprise or danger.

Just as Christ watches over His bride from danger, we are to watch ours.

If you want a godly home, you must have a godly husband. IF the spiritual leader of the household is not spiritual, the family will fail.