Always Better Together

Kobe and Shaq, Lebron and Kyrie,

Michael Jordan & Scottie Pippen (Basketball) – Together, they led the Chicago Bulls to six NBA championships, forming one of the most dominant partnerships in basketball history.

Serena & Venus Williams (Tennis) – Not only did they dominate singles tennis, but they also won 14 Grand Slam doubles titles together, redefining the sport.

Tom Brady & Rob Gronkowski (American Football) – Their connection on the field was nearly telepathic, leading to multiple Super Bowl victories.

How about in music: Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton?, Bill and Gloria Gaither, Paul McCartney and John Lennon?

These duos weren’t just great individually—they thrived because of their synergy. Either of these might have been somewhat successful alone, but with their counterpart— they were historically dominant. Maybe you can think of other dynamic duos— Fiction and Comic book writers love to pair up heroes and villians— Batman and Robin is a great example.

But what if I told you that the most important partnership isn't found in sports or entertainment—it's found right here in our everyday relationships?

Solomon continues with his tour-guide through the quest to live a meaningful life in a world that is chasing after the wind. He’s not writing from some sterile or impractical place— he is on our level, writing and questioning from a raw and realistic place. He’s on the real streets of the University of Life.

Solomon makes these “observations” by saying things like “I saw” or “I looked”— everyday people, everyday life. What can give us lasting satisfaction? Wealth, pleasure, accumulation of success— all of it seems futile in the end. Life seemingly happens in seasons that are constantly changing—He is full of angst— he has everything, and although God has placed eternity inside us— we seem unable to understand His work and His plan. Time is relentless— and we don’t have very much control. We are not the master— but there is a master of time.

As we come to chapter 4— we’re going to see some fragments. There is a theme here, but lets think about this for a moment:

Knowing that you and I, and Solomon, and every other person here under the sun— we have a limited and fairly brief time to exist here— Knowing that we all will face the same conclusion— death— what is the logical next step?

After coming to the conclusions that Solomon has stated so far— How do I live my life well— How do I find meaning?

Solomon points out here in chapter 4 that— given the understanding and knowing that their lives are short, and often can feel insignificant— MOST people respond by trying to live only for themselves. Personal dreams, plans, ambitions, all selfish focused— but there seems to be this little wise “thread” of wisdom woven into chapter 4.

Big Idea: We cannot steward our life as a gift from God unless we share it with others.

It’s about relationships! Solomon is going to make the case that you can never have a life of deep purpose and meaning— as long as you live for “me, myself, and I”. Who do you and I naturally spend most of our time thinking about?

We are called by Jesus to love God, and love others.

To love our neighbor.

Let’s dive into chapter 4 here:

Ecclesiastes 4:1 NIV

1 Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed— and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors— and they have no comforter.

A. Sin creates the pain of injustice. (v. 1-3)

The world is full of oppression and evil. Its everywhere. All around the world, we can observe it everyday.

It’s a pain and groaning where “might overtakes right”.

Our relationships with our neighbor are broken. In there first couple verses, we can read how he describes it.

One aspect that he points out in this verse is that there is a loneliness: “they have no comforter”. They are seemingly alone— and powerless. He goes on to conclude that it might even be better to be dead— or to not have even been born!

Ecclesiastes 4:3 NIV

3 But better than both is the one who has never been born, who has not seen the evil that is done under the sun.

Our emptiness is multiplied when connection is absent.

Being in pain or oppression is magnified when you are alone. Isolation and loneliness are a catalyst for extreme despair.

That’s the strategy of the enemy— introduce you to pain, sure— but also to get you to face it alone— that’s the jet fuel that intensifies and burns up your hope even faster.

Lions and other predators in the wild use this strategy also— distraction, and separation.

[find a photo of a lion stalking a young deer or prey]

Throughout the remainder of this chapter— Solomon points out about 5 deterrents to deep relationships.

They are right there in his observations— but it’s the thread and theme we can apply to our lives right now— this is a KEY to lasting meaning and purpose for your life individually, but also for us as a Christian community. We will Always be better together. True happiness and satisfaction are found with others— we will list and explain these five— and then I see a couple ways that fellowship and friendship is absolutely key:

B. Five obstacles to deep human relationships: (v. 4-8)

There are probably many more than these five— but Solomon seems to outline and describe our situation.

Ecclesiastes 4:4 NIV

4 And I saw that all toil and all achievement spring from one person’s envy of another. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.

In chapters 2 and 3, Solomon pointed out that something inside man makes us want to “outdo” or “overcome” nature, time, and the forces of the world.

But here in chapter 4 he is pointing out that we often have a desire inside us to “outdo” or overcome our neighbor. Trying to be viewed as better— or more admirable, or whatever COMPARED to someone else.

Envy is a trap that leads to emptiness. (v.4)

A commentator once said—-“You probably don’t need to wear the clothes you have on, you just needed someone else to see you with them on.”

Ambition is a wonderful gift from God— but misplaced on the wrong priorities— and it will become a disease.

Have you ever wanted what someone else has? Or worse yet, have you had the desire for someone else to WANT what you have?

Solomon concludes that it’s all worthless— meaningless. That’s not it.

It’s very evident in the very nature of Jesus’ persecution and death:

Matthew 27:18 NIV

18 For he knew it was out of self-interest that they had handed Jesus over to him.

Speaking of the reasons that the Pharisee’s and Chief Priest had Jesus arrested in the first place— it’s because they were losing influence and power!

Proverbs is another wonderful source of life wisdom:

Solomon wrote it this way in that book:

Proverbs 14:30 NIV

30 A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones.

The possessions we have can create isolation. Jesus takes it to a Rich Young Ruler— and basically challenges him to take all that he has, and give it away. That young man walks away sad— and isolated, and unsuccessful in his attempt to get Jesus to tell him what he wanted to hear!

The wheels of life are somehow driven by competition… But do we drag others down to make ourselves appear better?

It kills relationship.

Do we rejoice in someone else’s success? If you can’t— that’s a problem. Envy eats away at our hearts— and it’s a huge breakdown in our community.

But that’s not all:

Ecclesiastes 4:5 NIV

5 Fools fold their hands and ruin themselves.

This week, practice celebrating someone else's success on social media instead of scrolling past it— be on the lookout for ways that you might normally envy— and pray that God can help you celebrate what someone else is doing.

Laziness is a form of hate for our neighbor. (v.5)

David Gibson- Author of the book titled: Living Life Backwards

“Instead of giving himself to others, the lazy person only gives himself TO himself, and thus at the end of his life— all he has left is himself.”

Relationships are hard work— if we won’t be willing to try, that is ultimately lazy.

Laziness can be a form of disobedience— you know what you are called to do— but you simply won’t do it. WHY? It would be very helpful for you to ask yourself the question? Unpack that.

Another translation states— the lazy person folds his hands and devours himself.”

Proverbs 24:33–34 NIV

33 A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest— 34 and poverty will come on you like a thief and scarcity like an armed man.

Remember: It has been said— “To have a friend, you must be a friend”.

In a society where we all want to be pursued— we need to realize that deep personal relationships and true connection with another takes effort.

If you won’t do that hard work— don’t expect to have deep relationships.

Send that encouraging note or text— make that phone call to reach out and express love and support to someone you know God has called you to serve this way! Show up at that event—

Envy—- Laziness— and now look at verse 6:

Ecclesiastes 4:6 NIV

6 Better one handful with tranquillity than two handfuls with toil and chasing after the wind.

Discontent is a recipe for lonely exhaustion.(v. 6)

This represents the opposite of laziness in verse 5. Both inaction, and now over-action— constantly wanting more— never appreciating or being truly content in the present is another relationship killer.

This person is only thinking of the possibilities of tomorrow— but this concept reminds us that life is better with less if we can share it with someone.

We often miss the beauty of life— the beauty of the season they are in— because they are discontent with what’s right in front of them!

They are missing what God has for them at the moment— and suck the joy out of every space they are in— Solomon knows this feeling— that somehow you will ARRIVE when you possess or obtain… but you never get there! Trust me—It’s a vicious cycle! It’s a recipe for isolation, work-a-holism, and ultimately loneliness.

A Puritan writer and thinker Jeremiah Burrough writes:

“We find contentment not by addition, but by subtraction.”

Discontentment destroys meaningful community.

Next— keep reading:

Ecclesiastes 4:7–8 NIV

7 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun: 8 There was a man all alone; he had neither son nor brother. There was no end to his toil, yet his eyes were not content with his wealth. “For whom am I toiling,” he asked, “and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?” This too is meaningless— a miserable business!

Busy achievement leaves us rich in things yet poor in soul. (v.7)

Even if you’ve conquered the whole world— if you’ve done it all alone, you’ve not really done anything worthwhile!

Success at any price comes at a very high price.

If you expend everything to get to the top, that has a huge pricetag. Solomon has discovered that having deep pockets without deep friendships is a chasing after the wind.

Can you imagine?

Someone who knows the price of everything— but doesn’t know the value of anything. This hits pretty close to home for us here in our culture.

The happiest people are those who spend their life not getting more abundance or wealth— it’s the people who spend their life in close connection with others where they are giving and receiving “life”.

Those that enjoy life more— have people around them!@

Listen to me! God is giving you life— it’s on loan from Him! We want meaning? We want purpose— give it away, share what you have.

Martha Martha— you are busy about many things— but Mary has chosen what is best...

Busyness distracts us from what really matters. Trust me, ministry is not exempt from this concept! Even striving to grow our church, or chase a legacy— We must understand that the greatest meaning and purpose we can find— will be in giving and sharing what we have away!

Chasing after the wind— My own busyness surpresses depth! It mutes the beauty of life!

I’m not saying we shouldn’t stay busy! But realizing that there is a TIME for everything— a time to be busy, and a time to be still.

Envy- Laziness-Discontent-Busyness—

but Solomon gives us one more relational hurdle— skip down to verse 13:

Ecclesiastes 4:13 NIV

13 Better a poor but wise youth than an old but foolish king who no longer knows how to heed a warning.

He paints one more picture for us:

It’s impossible to have deep meaningful relationships if you won’t accept instruction from anyone.

It’s

Pride is a deceptive block to learning from others. (v.13)

He now reminds us that the most difficult people to be around are those who have given up learning anything. Frankly, that might be why you’re having a hard time— a “know it all” is not pleasant. The delusion of self-sufficiency prevents you from depending on or even trusting someone else— that’s a problem, no matter how old you are, how young you are.

I’ve discovered a phrase that has really helped me:

“Am I being held hostage by my need to be right?” When I’m really getting worked up— like headed toward conflict or this moment of being reactive— I’ve learned to try to stop, take a step back— and check my pride.

Proverbs 26:12 NIV

12 Do you see a person wise in their own eyes? There is more hope for a fool than for them.

Pride kills relationships.

It’s not all negative in these verses! There’s a contrast in the middle— we often mention these verses (9-12) during wedding ceremony’s but while that’s a great application— it’s much more than just relationship between married people that Solomon is referring:

Ecclesiastes 4:9–10 NIV

9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: 10 If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.

C. Three powerful effects of a deep personal relationship:

We also find meaning and purpose in BEING closer with a few people— than being superficial with many.

We receive— and we have a responsibility and opportunity to give—

I find it so powerful for ministry to help someone discover what they have an “abundance” of!

Like giving from your abundance— that is a joyful and freeing activity. I don’t mean just financially— although that can be possible with money— I mean like knowledge, wisdom, experience or expertise where we can help— by giving from our abundance.

The first thing:

Friendship provides perspective. (v.9-10)

There are many dangers in life!

Friends can call out to us BEFORE we step into that bad decision— or even better, they can help us when we have fallen.

Furthermore:

Ecclesiastes 4:11 NIV

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Relationships warm our lives. (v. 11)

Warmth here can mean plenty of things. Think outside of the physical sense— like a hug is certainly possible here, but what about support and presence with someone. The true Hebrew word here has to do with “presence”. It also can be translated “to Grow”. Flower bulbs like crokus, Tulips, etc feel the warmth in the ground— the presence of Spring, and they pop up out of the ground and bloom. We can bring a “warmth” to a room simply by walking into it. We can feel the warmth of someone’s presence when they care for us— and are a trusted friend. When we go through the cold storms of life— have a friend nearby— they create this warmth and presence.

It is said that a friend like this shares our burdens— making them half as heavy— and shares our joys, making them doubly good.

Do you have someone like that in your life? Are you capable of having that effect? What effect do you have when you walk into a person’s presence?

Ecclesiastes 4:12 NIV

12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.

I love this one:

A friend gives us strength. (v.12)

Surely one person can be overcome. Isolation is a place of weakness.

But two can double their vision, double their impact, and protect each other.

Remember we are attempting to join the teachings of Jesus with these lessons from Solomon and Ecclesiastes:

Go back to chapter 4 verse 1:

Ecclesiastes 4:1 NIV

1 Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun: I saw the tears of the oppressed— and they have no comforter; power was on the side of their oppressors— and they have no comforter.

Solomon saw the tears of the oppressed with no one to comfort them. But then Jesus came. Jesus didn't just observe the pain; He entered it. He declared His mission was to set the oppressed free, to bring comfort to the brokenhearted, and He showed us what that looks like by identifying with the marginalized.

Isaiah 61:1–2 NIV

1 The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, 2 to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

Jesus is the ultimate friend. (Is 61:1-2)

Jesus is that comforter— for the oppressed. Jesus reaches a rich, religious Pharisee like Nicodemus— and a poor, adulterous Samaritan woman at a well— and he is the friend of both.

When we introduce Jesus— as that third cord in our braid of friendship with someone else? Unstoppable. Unbreakable.

Two are better than one. Three are unstoppable.

Stop doing life alone—This week, I want you to identify one person God is calling you to invest in more deeply, and take one concrete step toward them.

We are all trying to reap the harvest which a good life brings. But the seeds which bring the rich harvest can never flourish in any atmosphere other than one of right relationships between individuals.

William Barclay (New Testament Scholar)

We have a special opportunity to commission and support Kyle Troyer— Kyle come on up.

I’ll let Kyle explain a little bit of what he will be doing here the next 90 days or so.