Culture of Marriage
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Handout
Marriage Part 2
Marriage Part 2
Questions:
What are the standards or Core values of your family?
What is your life verse?
WE have to define the culture and values of our marriage or the world will.
GOOD MARRIAGES DO NOT HAPPEN BY ACCIDENT OR
APATHY.
CORE:
the central, innermost, or most essential part of anything
VALUE:
a persons principles or standards of behavior; ones judgment of what is important in
life.
So your core values in your marriage are “ the essential part of what you judge
the most important”
Culture may not seem important in your household but either you define it or it defines you
Creating Culture:
• Creating culture is so important in the church, your personal relationship with God, your family, your ministry, or business
Culture essentially comes down to your standards
What do you believe in
What do you expect
What do you tolerate
What do you celebrate
“You Don't Rise to the Occasion; You Default to Your Level of Training” -unknown
You’re core values need to be talked about early and often
How we implement our Culture at our church
Culture has the same language
You might be able to tell that someone isn’t from America by the way they dress
But when they open their mouth and you hear them speak
It places them pretty much right off the bat
My kids talking and I’m not really paying attention
Then I hear a word that is not in our culture
Stupid or idiot
The word jostles my attention because it’s foreign to our culture
Then the correction comes in
Again it’s what you tolerate and what you celebrate
Once Culture is built it easier to Identify who gets it and who doesn’t
• Also easy to see where corrections need to be made
• Attitude adjustments
When you establish what you value as important
There’s no longer ambiguity of what your singing up for
Just knowing what you do wrong
WE have to know what’s expected of us
I didn’t know is no longer and excuse
Our Family and Marriage Culture:
OUR VERSE:
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.
This is what everything flows out of… all our values follow this verse.
Above all, we EACH have to prioritize seeking the Lord and His
righteousness .
This was and still is such an important scripture for us as a family and as a church
It’s puts everything in perspective
God has to be first or everything is out of order
Solomon and the temple
7 years on God’s temple
13 Years on his own
When you’re focused on temporal things- it will be unfulfilling
Some families are building their own kingdoms
Sports
recreation activities
farms
Your business
Your ministry even- some people mistake their ministry for their relationship with God
Marriage that ended in divorce cause he thought his ministry was his relationship with God
God wants you to build your own kingdom, but his has to be first
Our mission as a family is to be kingdom minded
The lense that we focus everything we do through is
Does this build the kingdom
Play sports
Have a business
Use them to glorify God and his kingdom
Our Values as a Married Couple:
1. Our Relationship with God comes first
How are your daily encounters
God has to be first in our lives before all else
We have to agree to go after God in the same manner
Being strong individually makes for a stronger team
That mean in our Spirit, Soul and Body
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?
Order of Marriage:
Individual Relationship with the Father
Our Marriage (unity together)
Our Children
Our ministry
Our Vocation
Joel:
We have to be in unity as couples in that Order
If God isn’t first there’s disorder
No matter where you choose to put God in your life he’s going to be first regardless
IF the emphasis doesn’t start top down there will be problems
If you don’t address your issues top down there will be problems also
God first, your spouse second
Go to a co-work especially if it’s someone of the opposite sex, that’s called an emotional affair
I don’t have female friends period
37 Jesus said to him, “ ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’
2. We will be in unity in every decision
Last year we had been believing for some things in our finances
Things we were specifically believing for
175K to remodel our house
We wanted to tithe off that money
new car
supernatural debt cancelation
Sarah wanted to sell our house but I didn’t
WE FINALLY CAME INTO AGREEMENT
We set our faith together (WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE)
What are you standing in agreement for
It says we have not cause we ask not!
OUR Core VALUES as a Family:
1. Stewards: We steward our relationship with excellence because we know God
entrusted us with each others heart-we will each answer for how we stewarded
our marriage. Ultimately our marriage is to bring glory to Him!
2. Teachable: We value each other’s feedback, and refuse to be easily offended.
Iron sharpens iron. Our common goal is to grow to look more and more like
Christ!
3. Forgiveness: It’s vital. We are quick to forgive because the Lord forgave us. It
brings freedom and guards our heart from offense.
4. Joy: The joy of the Lord is our strength! It carries us in even the lowest valleys
because joy surpasses situations and circumstances and is only found in His
presence, so we prioritize to meet with the Lord daily!
Commitment to Culture
1. Commitment
a. Bound or obligated, as under a pledge to a particular cause, action, or attitude.
b. I’m committed to this thing
c. nothing can get me off this new way of living
d. I cannot be shaken
e. We make contracts with ourselves an hold ourselves to standards
2. Compromise
a. A settlement of differences in which each side makes concessions
b. Usually when your flesh wins the argument with your spirit or soul
c. When a second thought enters into the situation
d. compromise will always work itself into standards if you’re not careful
e. Compromise isn’t always sin, but it can turn into it if your not careful
1 It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the people of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem.
1It happened in the spring of the year, at the time when kings go out to battle, that David sent Joab and his servants with him, and all Israel; and they destroyed the people of Ammon and besieged Rabbah. But David remained at Jerusalem.
• There was a standard here
• Compromise creates momentum in our lives
19 having faith and a good conscience, which some having rejected, concerning the faith have suffered shipwreck, 20 of whom are Hymenaeus and Alexander, whom I delivered to Satan that they may learn not to blaspheme.
3. Chaos
• A condition or place of great disorder or confusion
• The etymology of chaos ”gaping void; empty, immeasurable space,"
• Lack of Structure is the product of chaos
• A little bit of compromise creates a vicious cycle of chaos in our lives
• You’re a Pastor so you are going to have to deal with other people’s chaos
• Let’s try and minimize it by creating a healthy culture in your life and your ministries
