# 89 Divorce, Celibacy, and Little Children - Matthew 19:1-15

Introduction: What do divorce, celibacy, and little children have in common? Well, Jesus speaks about all three in today’s text – Matthew 19:1-15. We are going to look at these three ideas in this message – Divorce, Celibacy, and Little Children.

What about Divorce?  

  The data that I recently read stated that in 2024 that 43% of first marriages end in divorce, but that rate jumps to 60% for second marriages, and 73% for third marriage.  I tell people all the time that your best chance for marriage is to stick with your first one.

   Here are the top five reasons marriages fall apart:

1. Lack of commitment

2. Infidelity

3. Domestic abuse

4. Excessive arguing and conflict

5. Financial problems

   Someone has commented that couples “are married for better or for worse, but not for long.”[1]

   What about Celibacy?

   Now, while divorce seems to be high in the U.S., celibacy rate appears to be very low in our nation. The data I read recently was 1 in 6 women and 1 in 10 men have chosen to abstain from sexual activity, often citing reasons such as personal growth, emotional well-being, or dissatisfaction with modern dating culture.  We don’t hear a lot about people being celibate, not even among Christians. A lot of Christians are not following God’s design, but the dictates of their own hearts. I have read that the percentage of Christians who remain virgins until marriage is approximately 20%. That means 80% are doing their own thing.

   What about Little Children?

   And what about little children?  In 2023 it was estimated that 427,000 children were neglected in our nation. Parents on drugs, unable to find work, dealing with mental health issues, and domestic violence have created environments where children’s needs have been overlooks and unmet. It was also reported that in 2023 that Child Protective Services agencies received 4.4 million referrals involving around 7.78 million children.

   May God protect our children!

   With all that as our introduction let get into our text and see what Jesus teaches us on these three topics.

1. Jesus’ words about Divorce – 19:1-10

   The first topic up is about divorce. I think I can honestly say that there is probably no one present in this building that has not been affected by divorce. What does Jesus have to say about divorce?

A. Jesus is on route to Jerusalem – 19:1-2

1 Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. 2 And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there.

B. The Pharisees test Him – 19:3

   3 The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?”

   Bear in mind that these religious leaders could care less about Jesus’ answer. They are testing Him. Their questions were based on what was permitted in the Old Testament. In Deuteronomy 24:1-4 we read,

   1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, 2 when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, 3 if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife,

   It was the words, “he has found some uncleanness in her” (some translation read, “some indecency) which became the focal point of rabbinic debate. So, by the time of Jesus, two major schools of thought had developed:

· School of Shammai (Conservative View):

   Taught that “some indecency” meant sexual immorality or something morally shameful—essentially limited to unchastity or adultery (though technically adultery was punishable by death under Mosaic Law, not divorce).

· School of Hillel (Liberal View):

   Argued that “some indecency” could mean any displeasure—even something as trivial as burning a meal, speaking disrespectfully, or if the man found someone more attractive.

   So, when the Pharisees asked Jesus if it was lawful “for just any reason,” they were referencing this ongoing debate between these two schools of thought.

C. Jesus takes a stance on Marriage – 19:3-6  

   4 And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ 5and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? 6 So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.”

  Jesus doesn’t park in the book of Deuteronomy where the Pharisees were drawing their question from, no, He takes them back to Genesis – Back to the beginning.

   Jesus taught that we must start at the beginning. The Book of Genesis means just that – the Beginning. It is in the book of Genesis that we discover the establishment of marriage. I believe that there would be far less divorce if God’s people would just take to heart this teaching of Christ.

   Jesus reminds them of the very first marriage between Adam and Eve. It was God who made them made male and female (only two sexes). Jesus states that it was for this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. He says that they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore, considering this truth alone, what God has joined together, let not man separate.

   If we take to heart what we read in Genesis, divorce isn’t an option.

D. The Pharisees want to focus on Moses’ teaching – 19:7

  7 They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?”

   In the mind of the Pharisees, they wanted to know why Moses would command men to give a certificate of divorce to his wife, and to put her away if God intended married couples to stay together.

   Hear me: Some people hear and see only they want to hear and see, and such is the case with the Pharisees. Jesus corrects their misunderstanding of the words of Moses. Look at verse 8,

    8 He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.  

   Jesus says that it was because of the hardness of man’s heart that Moses permitted you to divorce your wives. I would submit to that that it is the HARD HEARTS of man that is the reason for most divorce today.

   People are not good forgivers. Last Sunday I spoke about the need to forgive those who sin against us. I shared a quote from Ruth Graham who said, “Marriage is to be a union of two forgivers.”

  Marriages go south when couple hold unto grudges. Our sinful nature is extremely selfish. And in our selfishness, we don’t often think of the needs of our spouse. No, we focus in on our own needs, wants, and desires. Make marriage about your needs and you will end up divorced.

   I want us to notice that the Pharisees use the word “command” in verse 7, but Jesus uses the word “permitted” in verse 8. There is no command to divorce found in the Scripture. Jesus says that Moses permitted it because of the hardness of the human heart.

   We live in a world where marriage and divorce are as common as eating dinner and sleeping. People get married and are divorced shortly thereafter. In my mind I can think of quite a few couples who didn’t even make it a year.

   Sometime ago I heard about a jewelry store that hung a sign in their window that read, “We rent wedding rings.” We might laugh at that, but in reality, it’s not funny.

   Jesus said,

   but from the beginning it was not so.  

   Now, are there reasons for a man and woman to divorce? Jesus provides ONE reason here in our text. He says,

   9 And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”

   Jesus makes it very clear that there is only ONE reason for divorce - sexual immorality. If a man divorces his wife for any other reason and marries another, he is committing adultery, and the one who marries her who is divorced commits adultery. Why? Because no sexual immorality was committed.

   Having an unfaithful partner appears to be the only reason Jesus provided here in this text for divorce. Why? Marital unfaithfulness is very difficult for someone to get past, and to move on in a marriage. It’s not impossible, but extremely difficult.

   Jesus’ disciples heard the interaction between Jesus their teacher, and the religious Pharisees and they come to their own conclusion. Look at what they arrive at in verse 10,

   10 His disciples said to Him, “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”    

   It was because of their conclusion that Jesus then teaches them about celibacy – remaining single and never marrying. Surely this isn’t something that all are called to do, but some may be.

2. Jesus’ words about Celibacy – 19:11-12

11 But He said to them, “All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given:

  It’s true – not all accept the teachings of Jesus Christ. Especially when it comes to marriage, divorce, and remarriage. Everybody has their take on the words of Christ.

   Here is what Jesus teaches about celibacy. We read,

12 For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”

   What is a eunuch? A eunuch is a man who has been castrated and is incapable of reproduction. In the Bible he is a man who has had his testicles removed to become an official eunuch of a court, a royal guard over the King’s harems.

   That all sounds so unpleasant!

   Jesus provides us with three categories of eunuchs:

1. Those born eunuchs from their mother’s womb.

   There are times when male children are born with birth defects. They are born without the ability to reproduce. At no fault of the male child.

   They grow up and live a celibate life.

2. Those made eunuchs by men.

   In the Old Testament Kings who had harems would castrate their male servants who were around his women.

   Warren Wiersbe takes a nicer approach to this. He writes, “Others should not get married because of their responsibilities in society; they have been “made eunuchs by man.”[2]

3. Those who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake.

   Scripture teaches that if it is possible that a man should stay single so that he can keep his focus on the Lord and serve the Lord.

   Here this may mean here that a man can make a choice to live as a eunuch without the medical procedure of being a eunuch. He chooses to live a celibate life.

   Some believe that the Apostle Paul was celibate and remained single so that he could serve the Lord. We read in 1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 32-35).

   7 For I wish that all men were even as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and another in that. 8But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; 9 but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

   Finally, Jesus concluded his discussion on celibacy with these words,

    “He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”

   This brings us to the third section in our text – about little children.

3. Jesus’ words about Little Children – 19:13-15

13 Then little children were brought to Him that He might put His hands on them and pray, but the disciples rebuked them. 14 But Jesus said, “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.” 15 And He laid His hands on them and departed from there.

   The multitude that followed Jesus brought their children to Jesus that He might touch them and pray for them. When the disciples saw this, they rebuked them. They saw the crowd and the children as an inconvenience. As something keeping them from making further progress down the road.

   Not Jesus! He never once saw children as an inconvenience or a bother. Jesus spoke sternly to his disciples and said,

   “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of heaven.”

   I find it interesting that this event involving children takes place after Jesus’ discussion about divorce, marriage, and celibacy.

   Can I ask you what are the natural consequences of marriage? It is becoming parents, having children!

   Jesus makes it very clear that children are not a curse, but a blessing.

   Scripture says, “The fruit of the womb is a reward.” (Psalm 127:3).

    It also says, “Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them.” (Psalm 127:5).

   In the introduction I mentioned that a lot of children today are being neglected – Christian parents don’t you neglect your children. Don’t you allow your cell phone to come between you and your parenting. Don’t you allow their needs to be cared for to make you feel sorry for yourself.

   Parenting today is not easy. Especially in a society where it takes two incomes to run a household. But you have a God-given responsibility to raise your children in the nurture (care) and admonition (instructions) of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4).

· Jesus talked about the faith of little children back in Matthew 18.

· Jesus warned about causing a little one to sin, to turn away for Jesus Christ in Matthew 18.

· Jesus said that it is not the will of your Father in heaven that one of these little ones should perish in Matthew 18.

· Jesus said, “let the little children come to me, and do not forbid them; for such is the kingdom of heaven.”

   My friends, heaven will be made up of little children who put their faith in Jesus Christ. Let us never forget that. Don’t you do anything that would keep a child from desiring God.

   Finally, I want us to see that Jesus laid His hands on them and departed from there. What does it mean that Jesus laid His hands on them? It means that they received a blessing from Him. For a teacher (Rabbi) to place His hands on a child meant that he was pronouncing a blessing upon them.

   God has blessed Debbie and I with nine (9) grandchildren so far. I love my grandchildren, and when they ask me to hold them, or to sit on my lap they are not being a burden. I welcome it. I cannot tell you the number of prayers I have prayed over my grandchildren, nor the number of times I have sang to them. I have this little song I sing that goes like this:

   I love you to the moon and back again.

   I love you to the moon and back again.

   I love you to the moon and back again.

   Yes, I love you!

   I love you to Jupiter, Venus and Mars.

   I love you to Jupiter, Venus and Mars.

   I love you to Jupiter, Venus and Mars.

   Yes, I love you!

   Then I will add a funny twist to the song,

  I love you to Stupider, Venus and Mars.

  I love you to Stupider, Venus and Mars.

  I love you to Stupider, Venus and Mars.

  Yes, I love you!

   I sing that to all my grandchildren.

   Do you know what I find in this verse? Everything a child needs from their Christ-like figure.

· Every child needs a physical touch.

· Every child needs to be prayed over.

· Every child needs to know they are welcome in your presence.

· Every child needs loving hands placed on them.

· Every child needs a blessing from their parents.

   If you are a parent, you have been CHOSEN by God for the child that is in your life. Play your role well.

Conclusion: If you have been divorced you can’t change it, but if you are married you can do everything to make your marriage work and thrive. Only YOU and your spouse can prevent divorce. Do all you can to seek to have a godly marriage. Put to death selfishness and seek to serve your spouse.

   More than likely none of you are called to celibacy. Most of you have a desire to meet just the right person and get married and have a family. However, should that not happen, then you are called to live a celibate life. A life where you can be involved in the service of the Lord without the care of a spouse.

   Finally, enjoy your children. They are only small for a short time. Do everything you can to give them ample opportunity to come to faith in Jesus Christ. Live for Christ, enjoy your faith, honor God with your decisions, and you children will be impacted.

   There you have Jesus’ take on divorce, celibacy, and little children.

[1]Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (Vol. 1, p. 68). Victor Books.

[2]Wiersbe, W. W. (1996). The Bible exposition commentary (Vol. 1, p. 71). Victor Books.