Seizing the Power of Example

Reading from God’s Word

Proverbs 20:7 CSB

7 A righteous person acts with integrity; his children who come after him will be happy.

Introduction

How much of what we believe and how we live is shaped by what we’ve seen—rather than simply what we’ve heard?

Proverbs 20:7 says:

Proverbs 20:7 CSB

7 A righteous person acts with integrity; his children who come after him will be happy.

What a powerful truth.

The greatest inheritance you’ll ever leave your children is not your money or your name—it’s your example.

Someone once said, “Children may not obey everything we say, but they will rarely fail to imitate what we do.”

This is especially true in the home.

Our kids are watching us—even when we don’t realize it.

They see how we speak to our spouse when we’re frustrated.

They see how we handle Sunday morning—if we’re scrambling to get out the door or dragging ourselves to church like it’s a chore.

They notice how we treat other people, how we talk about the elders or preacher after church, how we respond to stress, and whether or not we really pray at home.

They are always watching. The question is: what are they learning from us?

Charles Spurgeon once quipped, “Train up a child in the way he should go—but be sure you go that way yourself.”

That’s the message of this lesson.

More than your words, more than your rules, more than your plans or dreams—your example will shape the hearts of your children.

We are called to lead with our lives, to show what it looks like to love God, and to live in a way that points our children toward Jesus.

This morning, we’re going to explore what Scripture says about the power of example—how God designed parents to shape the next generation not just with teaching, but with lives that shine.

Let’s open our hearts to God’s Word and be challenged, encouraged, and equipped to lead our families by example.

The Biblical Call to Parental Influence

Parenting is a Divine Assignment

Parenting is not merely a biological or emotional role—it’s a sacred calling from God.

In Ephesians 6:4, Paul addresses fathers specifically—not to exclude mothers, but to emphasize the spiritual leadership role in the home.

Ephesians 6:4 CSB

4 Fathers, don’t stir up anger in your children, but bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

The command is twofold:

Don’t provoke your children to anger—that is, don’t parent in a way that leads to resentment, fear, or discouragement.

Do bring them up—nurture them, guide them, mold them—in the Lord’s instruction.

Deuteronomy 6 gives even more clarity:

Deuteronomy 6:4–7 CSB

4 “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength. 6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

God told His people that the commandments were to be first in their hearts, and then constantly repeated and talked about in the home.

Not just at the synagogue. Not just at special events.

At home. When you rise. When you walk. When you lie down.

God’s design is simple and profound: Faith is to be passed down through constant, relational, lived-out example.

Kids Learn by Seeing

Think of how young children learn to talk.

They don’t learn primarily by reading grammar books—they learn by watching and imitating.

Likewise, children learn what it means to follow Jesus primarily by watching their parents:

They learn if prayer is powerful or optional by how often they see you pray.

They learn if the church is essential or extra by how your family treats Sunday.

They learn whether Scripture has authority based on how you respond when life gets hard.

This is not to put guilt on parents—it’s to remind us of the opportunity.

God has entrusted you with precious souls. And you are writing a spiritual legacy into their hearts every single day.

God Doesn’t Just Want Your Words—He Wants Your Life

Let’s go back to Deuteronomy 6:

Deuteronomy 6:6 CSB

6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart.

That comes before teaching. Why?

Because kids can spot a contradiction.

They know when what we say and what we do don’t match.

And nothing turns a child away from faith faster than spiritual hypocrisy at home.

So the first step in influencing your kids spiritually isn’t just to teach them—it’s to let God’s Word transform you.

When you love the Lord with all your heart, they will notice. When you live with integrity, patience, and faith—they’ll be drawn to the God who shaped your life.

What Kids Learn from Watching Us

More is Caught Than Taught

You’ve likely heard this phrase: “More is caught than taught.” It’s absolutely true in parenting.

Children are excellent observers but terrible interpreters.

They don’t always understand what they see, but they absorb it. They internalize it. They remember it.

If they see you model kindness and humility, that shapes them.

If they see impatience, anger, or hypocrisy, that shapes them too.

If they hear you talk about forgiveness on Sunday but then gossip about the church on Monday, it sends a clear (and conflicting) message.

They may not say anything about it. But they’re watching. And they’re learning.

The Power of Consistency

Let’s look at Matthew 5:16:

Matthew 5:16 CSB

16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

He didn’t say shine just in public or just on Sunday—He meant everywhere.

This includes:

The dinner table.

The car ride to church.

The sideline of the ball game.

The grocery store parking lot.

The living room at the end of a long day.

Two more passages to consider and apply to parenting:

Philippians 4:9 CSB

9 Do what you have learned and received and heard from me, and seen in me, and the God of peace will be with you.

1 Corinthians 11:1 CSB

1 Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ.

Paul wasn’t perfect—but he was consistent.

That’s what makes a lasting impression.

Children Rarely Exceed the Spiritual Example of Their Parents

That may sound sobering—but it’s generally true.

A powerful case study is found in 2 Kings 14, in the life of Amaziah:

2 Kings 14:3 CSB

3 He did what was right in the Lord’s sight, but not like his ancestor David. He did everything his father Joash had done.

Amaziah followed the Lord—but only as much as his father had.

He didn’t rise above him. He didn’t surpass him. He matched him.

That’s a pattern we see often.

The next generation tends to copy the level of commitment they observed:

If your faith was lukewarm, theirs will probably be colder.

If your love for the church was half-hearted, theirs may be nonexistent.

If your devotion to Christ was shallow, theirs may not even begin.

This isn’t a law—but it’s a trend. And it challenges us to raise the bar—not just for their sake, but for God’s.

Now…

If the power of your example is that strong—then where should you be most intentional?

Let’s look at three arenas where your daily example can either build your children’s faith—or quietly undo it.

Three Crucial Arenas Where Example Matters Most

Your example shapes your child’s understanding of life — and especially faith — more than your lectures ever will. But, where does this influence show up the most?

Here are three key arenas where your day-to-day example teaches your children what it looks like to follow Jesus:

In the Home: Living Faith Behind Closed Doors

Before we go further, let’s read and think about two passages:

Ephesians 5:1–2 CSB

1 Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children, 2 and walk in love, as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.

Colossians 3:23–24 CSB

23 Whatever you do, do it from the heart, as something done for the Lord and not for people, 24 knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ.

Home is where your kids see the real you.

It is where your spiritual life is tested, not staged.

This is where they learn:

What love looks like — by watching how mom and dad treat each other.

What grace looks like - -by how you handle their mistakes and your own.

What worship looks like — not just at church — but in your attitude toward daily life.

Do your children:

See you pray?

See you read the Word?

See you serve others — even when it costs something?

They will know whether your faith is real not by what you say on Sunday — but by who you are Monday-Saturday.

If you home is where your faith goes silent, don’t be surprised if your children walk away from the faith later.

In the Church: Modeling Love for the Body of Christ

Two more passagese to consider:

Hebrews 10:24–25 CSB

24 And let us consider one another in order to provoke love and good works, 25 not neglecting to gather together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging each other, and all the more as you see the day approaching.

If your kids only attend church because they’re “supposed to,” they won’t continue when they don’t have to.

But if they see that you love the Lord’s people.

If they see that the church matters deeply to you.

If they hear you speak encouragingly about the church

They will grow up knowing that the church is not something we “do”, it’s who we are.

In some families, all some children hear is:

criticism about the preacher.

complaints about the elders.

arguments over petty issues.

sacrcasm about the people of God.

And then we wonder why they are not passionate about the church.

We cannot tell our children Jesus is Lord and then treat His church like it’s a burden. Your words will say “Jesus matters,”: but your life will say, “He doesn’t”.

In the Community: Reflecting Christ in the Real World

Three passages to consider:

Matthew 5:14–16 CSB

14 “You are the light of the world. A city situated on a hill cannot be hidden. 15 No one lights a lamp and puts it under a basket, but rather on a lampstand, and it gives light for all who are in the house. 16 In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Romans 13:1–2 CSB

1 Let everyone submit to the governing authorities, since there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are instituted by God. 2 So then, the one who resists the authority is opposing God’s command, and those who oppose it will bring judgment on themselves.

1 Peter 2:12 CSB

12 Conduct yourselves honorably among the Gentiles, so that when they slander you as evildoers, they will observe your good works and will glorify God on the day he visits.

Your children are not just watching how you behave in church, they’re watching how you behave in the world.

They watch:

How you treat the waitress who messed up your order.

How you talk about your boss or coworkers.

How you speak about politicians or leaders.

Whether you obey the law when no one is watching.

Do your kids see a parent who walks with humility, honesty, patience, and kindness—even when it’s hard?

Do they see a Christian who serves neighbors, respects authority, and honors people—even those who disagree?

If they only see you “be Christian” at church, they’ll believe faith is an act—not a way of life.

Practical Steps For Parents to Lead by Example

We've established the biblical foundation.

We’ve seen how children are shaped by what they observe.

We’ve identified the three arenas where your example matters most.

Now let’s get practical.

What does it look like on a daily basis to lead your children with your life—not just your words?

Prioritize Your Spiritual Growth

You can’t pass on what you don’t possess.

Before you can train your children to walk with Christ, you need to be walking with Him yourself.

This means:

Spending regular time in God’s Word—not just reading it for your kids, but for your soul.

Building your own prayer life.

Fighting sin in your life and growing in the fruit of the Spirit.

Attending church because you love the Lord—not just because it’s what good parents do.

Why this matters: Your children are not looking for a perfect parent. They’re looking for a genuine one.

They need to see that you’re growing. That you love Jesus. That you're still learning. That your faith is real.

Again, let’s consider 1 Corinthians 11:1

1 Corinthians 11:1 CSB

1 Imitate me, as I also imitate Christ.

You can’t say, “Follow me as I follow Christ,” if you're standing still spiritually.

Be Quick to Repent and Ask Forgiveness

One of the most powerful things you can do in your home is say, “I was wrong.”

“I lost my temper. I’m sorry.”

‘“I should’ve handled that differently. Please forgive me.”

“I’m still growing too.”

You might think admitting your faults will make your kids lose respect for you. In reality, it will do the opposite.

It builds trust.

It demonstrates humility.

It teaches them how to handle failure.

The principle found in James 5:16 is not only for church:

James 5:16 CSB

16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is very powerful in its effect.

Your kids will learn how to handle their own mistakes by watching how you handle yours.

Weave God Into Everyday Life

Deuteronomy 6 says to teach your children diligently.

Deuteronomy 6:7 CSB

7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

when you sit, when you walk, when you lie down, when you rise.

In other words: don’t compartmentalize faith.

Make it normal to talk about God at home.

Pray together—not just at meals, but when they’re hurting, anxious, or grateful.

Talk about what you're learning in Scripture.

Turn everyday moments into spiritual conversations:

A sunset becomes a conversation about the Creator.

A tough day becomes a chance to talk about perseverance.

A friend's struggle becomes a time to model compassion and prayer.

Faith is not a Sunday activity—it’s a lifestyle. Your kids need to see that.

Let Christ Shape Your Priorities and Calendar

If your schedule has no room for God, you’re teaching your children that everything else is more important.

Let them see that your faith affects:

How you spend your time (church attendance, family devotions, rest).’

How you spend your money (giving, generosity, stewardship).

How you make decisions (consulting Scripture, seeking wise counsel, choosing righteousness even when it’s costly).

Ask yourself: What does our weekly schedule say we truly value?

Matthew 6:33 CSB

33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.

Your children will rarely rise above what they’ve seen you prioritize.

Speak Blessing and Encouragement Frequently

You are the loudest voice in your child's life—for better or worse.

Speak words that build them up.

Tell them you see their strengths.

Remind them they’re loved—by you and by God.

Speak truth over their lives even when they’re struggling.

Let them hear the gospel from your lips regularly.

Don’t let your only words be correction.

Be their cheerleader, their encourager, their reminder of grace.

Ephesians 4:29 NLT

29 Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

So:

These are not quick fixes. They are daily decisions.

But they are the seeds of a legacy that will shape your children—and maybe your grandchildren too.

As We Close…

Your Example Is Your Legacy

Every day, whether you realize it or not, you are teaching your children.

Not just through what you say—but through what you prioritize, how you respond, what you love, and how you live.

Proverbs 20:7 CSB

7 A righteous person acts with integrity; his children who come after him will be happy.

That’s the kind of legacy we want to leave behind—a life of integrity, a life of consistency, a life that makes our kids want to follow Jesus.

Because one day your children will leave your home.

And when they do, they won’t take your rules with them—but they will take your habits.

They won’t remember every devotional you led—but they’ll remember whether God was real to you.

They may not live the life you envision—but they’ll never forget the life you modeled.

Let’s get personal:

If your child grew up to reflect your current spiritual habits…

Would they love the church or be lukewarm toward it?

Would they turn to prayer—or try to handle life on their own?

Would they read the Word—or rely on the world?

Would they live by conviction—or convenience?

This is not meant to guilt you—it’s meant to awaken you.

Because the grace of God can redeem the past, reshape the present, and redirect the future.

It’s never too late to change the story.

You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be real, humble, and willing to let Jesus lead your life.

Even a small course correction today can lead your family toward an entirely different destination tomorrow.

So make the decision:

To live your faith out loud.

To love sacrificially.

To shine your light—at home, at church, and in the world.

And to let your life say what you want your children to believe: “Jesus is worth everything.”

Invitation:

If you're a parent or grandparent and you’ve been convicted today—there is grace.

If you’ve been feeling the weight of past failures—there is forgiveness.

If you want to make a change in your home—Jesus will help you start right now.

And if you’re not yet a child of God, and you want to become one—so your example begins with Christ today—we invite you to respond in faith, repentance, and baptism.

Let’s lead our families by following Jesus first.