Growing in Patience

Reading from God’s Word:

Ephesians 4:2 CSB

2 with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,

Introduction:

We live in an impatient world. You don’t have to look far to see it.

At the grocery store—short tempers in the checkout line.

On the highway—road rage in full display.

On social media—harsh words typed without a second thought.

And if we’re honest—sometimes the same spirit shows up in our homes.

We get short with one another.

We lose patience with our kids.

We react in frustration instead of grace.

But that is not how God has called us to live—especially as parents.

Ephesians 4:2 NIV

2 Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

That’s the tone God wants in our homes. This is where we:

Take the time to understand their hearts.

Discipline with love, not anger.

Create a safe space where our kids can learn and grow.

Because here’s the truth:

Our children will learn patience—or impatience—from us. They will treat others the way they are treated at home.

And one more thing—this isn’t just about parenting.

Spouses need patience with one another.

Church families need patience with each other.

So today, as we study Growing in Patience, I want to ask you to think personally:

What kind of spirit are you building in your home?

Is it a place where people feel safe, respected, and loved?

Or is it a place where frustration and anger simmer beneath the surface?

God wants to help us build homes where trust and love flourish. And patience is a big part of that.

If we want to grow in patience, the first place to start is by remembering how patient God has been with us.

Because how we treat our children—and one another—flows from how deeply we understand the way God treats us.

When we begin to see how He parents us with grace and patience, it changes how we parent those in our care.

God Models Perfect Patience Toward His Children

If we are going to be patient parents, patient spouses, patient people—we need to first take a long look at how God deals with us.

Think about it:

God knows every failure, every weakness, every foolish decision you’ve made.

He knows every anxious thought, every selfish word, every angry reaction

And yet—He keeps loving us. He keeps working with us. He never gives up on us.

Psalm 139 paints such a beautiful picture:

Psalm 139:1–6 CSB

1 Lord, you have searched me and known me. 2 You know when I sit down and when I stand up; you understand my thoughts from far away. 3 You observe my travels and my rest; you are aware of all my ways. 4 Before a word is on my tongue, you know all about it, Lord. 5 You have encircled me; you have placed your hand on me. 6 This wondrous knowledge is beyond me. It is lofty; I am unable to reach it.

God knows everything about us—and still places His hand upon us.

He surrounds us with His love.

He sees us in our worst moments—and chooses to act with patience and grace.

1 Peter 5:7 says:

1 Peter 5:7 CSB

7 casting all your cares on him, because he cares about you.

That means this:

God doesn’t say, “Bring Me only the big stuff.”

He doesn’t say, “Only come when you have it all together.”

He says, “Bring Me everything—your worries, your sins, your needs—because I care for you.”

Now—if God deals with us like that, how should we deal with our children?

We must not forget that children are:

still learning

still growing

still figuring out who they are

Sometimes they will act out—not because they are defiant—but because they don’t yet know how to handle what they are feeling.

Sometimes they will struggle with things we find simple—because they haven’t had time to grow the wisdom and maturity we’ve developed.

Good parenting means slowing down and remembering this:

If God can be patient with a grown adult like me—who sins knowingly at times—

Surely I can be patient with a child who is still learning how to walk in wisdom.

When we remember how God has treated us:

It softens our tone.

It steadies our discipline.

It helps us see beyond the behavior to the heart.

Bottom line:

If you want to grow in patience—start by remembering the patience of God.

Let His grace toward you become the model for how you show grace toward others—especially in your home.

Now—if we are going to show that kind of patience toward our children—there’s something else we need to do. We need to take time to truly know them... and to shape our parenting around the unique way God made each one.

That’s where we turn next.

Understanding Your Child’s Way

Patience in the home is not just about controlling your emotions.

It’s also about taking the time to understand your children—how God wired them—and shaping your training around their way.

Proverbs 22:6 is often misunderstood.

Proverbs 22:6 ASV

6 Train up a child in the way he should go, And even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Many believe that this verse means “if you raise your kids in church, if you train them as God would have you, then they will always stay faithful.”

This is not what the proverb teaches.

Let’s read from three other translations which I believe treat the original language in the way it was intended.

Proverbs 22:6 LEB

6 Train the child concerning his way; even when he is old, he will not stray from it.

Proverbs 22:6 LSB

6 Train up a child according to his way, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6 AMP

6 Train up a child in the way he should go [and in keeping with his individual gift or bent], and when he is old he will not depart from it.

It says—train up a child according to his way—according to the way God uniquely designed that child.

Children are not blank slates. They are born with:

different personalities

different learning styles

different temperaments

different sensitivities

A wise and patient parent learns to study each child—to know them well—so they can parent in a way that fits that child’s heart.

Some kids are naturally compliant.

You barely have to correct them; they want to please.

With them, too harsh a tone can actually crush their spirit.

Some kids are naturally stubborn.

You can’t simply tell them what to do—you have to win their heart.

They need consistent, loving firmness—but not harshness.

Some kids are sensitive and easily discouraged.

If you bark at them, they will withdraw.

They need constant reassurance and encouragement.

Some kids are impulsive and energetic.

They aren’t being “bad”—they just have a bent toward activity and need to be taught self-control.

Patience in parenting means:

You take the time to know your child.

You don’t expect every child to act like the others.

You adjust your tone and your methods to fit what best reaches that child’s heart.

It also means:

You help them strengthen their gifts.

You lovingly correct their weaknesses—without shame or comparison.

Here’s a practical example:

If you have one child who struggles with fear—you don’t bark, “Stop being afraid!”

You slow down and help them learn to trust God and gain courage.

If you have a strong-willed child—you don’t crush their spirit. You help them learn to channel that strength into perseverance and leadership.

Bottom line:

Patience means parenting according to the child’s way—not according to what is easiest or most convenient for you.

The more you understand your child, the more effectively—and patiently—you can help them grow.

But understanding our children is just part of the picture.

If we’re going to truly grow in patience, we also need to pay attention to our own hearts—because patience is a fruit of the Spirit.

Let’s talk about how we can cultivate it.

Cultivating a Heart Like God’s

If we want patience to flow out of us in the home—it can’t be something we “try really hard” to do when we’re frustrated.

It has to be something that grows in us because God is at work in us.

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit.

It’s not the result of personality—it’s the result of surrender to Christ.

If you want to be a more patient parent, a more patient spouse, a more patient person— it starts with letting God work on your heart.

How do we cultivate patience?

Cultivate compassion and empathy

Philippians 2:4 CSB

4 Everyone should look not to his own interests, but rather to the interests of others.

Learn to see situations through your child’s eyes.

“What is this child feeling right now? Why might they be struggling?”

When you approach correction from a heart of compassion, your tone changes—and so does your child’s response.

Recognize developmental stages

Proverbs 22:6 LSB

6 Train up a child according to his way, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

A 4-year-old is not going to respond like a 12-year-old.

A 12-year-old is not going to process like a 17-year-old.

Sometimes impatience comes because we are expecting too much—or the wrong thing—for the child’s level of maturity.

Model patience yourself

James 1:19–20 CSB

19 My dear brothers and sisters, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger, 20 for human anger does not accomplish God’s righteousness.

Your children will not learn patience if they don’t see it in you.

How do you handle frustrating moments?

How do you treat your spouse?

How do you respond when things go wrong?

Patience is caught even more than it is taught.

Practice self-care

Tired, stressed, burned-out parents are almost always impatient parents.

It’s not selfish to take care of your own walk with God.

Even Jesus needed rest.

Mark 6:31 CSB

31 He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a remote place and rest for a while.” For many people were coming and going, and they did not even have time to eat.

You need to regularly refresh your heart through prayer, time in the Word, rest, and healthy community—so you have something to give to your family.

Seek God’s help daily

Patience is a fruit of the Spirit—not of human effort.

Galatians 5:22 CSB

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,

The more you walk with God—the more He will produce patience in you.

Pray daily: “Lord, help me today to be patient and gentle like You.”

Ask Him to fill your home with His Spirit—because human effort alone won’t get the job done.

Bottom line:

Growing in patience starts with growing in your relationship with God.

If you want patience to come out of you when your kids act out—it needs to be planted deep in your heart long before that moment arrives.

One of the places where patience is most tested—and most needed—is when it comes to discipline. How can we correct our children in ways that reflect both patience and love? That’s where we turn next.

As We Close…

Let’s look at two passages together:

Romans 12:12 CSB

12 Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.

1 Corinthians 13:4 CSB

4 Love is patient, love is kind. Love does not envy, is not boastful, is not arrogant,

We have covered a lot today—but it all comes back to this: Patience is an act of love.

It is a reflection of God’s character in your home.

It is a gift you give your spouse, your children, your family.

And let’s be honest—none of us gets this perfect.

We all have moments where we lose patience.

We all have times when we speak too quickly or discipline in anger.

We all have days when we are too tired or stressed to be as patient as we should be.

But the good news is this: God’s grace is for parents too.

He is patient with us—even when we are impatient.

And He is ready to help us grow, one day at a time.

So here is the challenge this week:

Remember how patient God has been with you.

Slow down to truly understand your children.

Let God cultivate patience in your heart through His Spirit.

Discipline with love, not anger.

Build a home where trust, respect, and love are the atmosphere your children breathe.

One day—your children will look back on their childhood.

Will they remember a home full of harsh words and short tempers?

Or will they remember a home where they were corrected firmly—but always with love and patience?

Let’s ask God to help us build that kind of home.