Friendships that Sharpen

INTRODUCTION – “Dull Blades and Blunt Lives”

Alright, be honest—have you ever tried to cut a tomato with a dull knife? It’s tragic. You don’t slice it… you smush it. Juice everywhere. Seeds fly like it’s a food fight. And if you're not careful, that same dull blade might slip and catch your finger. It’s not only ineffective—it’s dangerous.

Now here’s the kicker: sharp tools are safer than dull ones. You'd think it’s the other way around, right? But a sharp blade does its job cleanly. A dull blade? It’ll wear you out and still not get the job done.

That’s exactly what Proverbs 27:17 is talking about: “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” God designed relationships—friendships in particular—to sharpen us. To make us better. But let’s be real: sometimes that sharpening feels more like sandpaper than spa day.

Over the next few minutes, we’re gonna look at three friendships from the Bible that weren’t always easy—but they made people better, not bitter. David and Jonathan. Ruth and Naomi. Jesus and Peter. And the question we’ll keep asking is this: Who’s sharpening you? And who are you sharpening?

Let’s dive in.

POINT 1 – “Sharpened by Loyalty”

Text: 1 Samuel 18:1–4; 1 Samuel 20

Let’s talk about one of the most counter-cultural, heart-grabbing, loyalty-dripping friendships in the Bible: David and Jonathan.

Here’s the backdrop: David, the shepherd boy turned giant-slayer, has just gone viral. He takes down Goliath with nothing but a sling and a prayer, and suddenly, everyone’s singing his name in the streets—literally (1 Samuel 18:7). And Jonathan? He’s Saul’s son. The prince. The next in line for the throne. You’d expect Jonathan to feel threatened, right?

But instead, 1 Samuel 18:1 tells us, “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.” That’s not casual. That’s covenant. That’s not just “I like hanging out with you because you’re funny.” That’s, “I see God’s hand on your life, and I’m sticking with you—even if it costs me.”

Now watch this: Jonathan gives David his robe, his armor, even his sword. Don’t skip over that—this isn’t just giving a mate your spare hoodie. In the ancient world, giving someone your robe and weapons was like handing over your royal identity. Jonathan was saying, “You first. I’ll step back so God can move you forward.”

That’s loyalty. And loyalty sharpens us like nothing else. Because real loyalty doesn’t compete—it completes. Real friends aren’t threatened by your calling—they fight for it.

And here’s the crazy part: Jonathan’s dad, King Saul, starts losing his mind with jealousy. He’s throwing spears at David, literally trying to pin him to the wall. And what does Jonathan do? He doesn’t pick sides like it’s a schoolyard fight. He doesn’t flinch. He says to David in 1 Samuel 20:4, “Whatever you say, I will do for you.”

Let that sink in. He’s risking everything—his comfort, his crown, even his relationship with his own father—because he knows David’s destiny is God-ordained.

Here’s the big takeaway: True friendship—Gospel friendship—sharpens us through loyalty. Not fake loyalty that disappears when things get uncomfortable. Not the kind that agrees with everything you say just to keep the peace. No, this is loyal love that sticks even when it stings.

It’s that friend who’s in your corner when everyone else walks out. The one who tells you the truth when no one else will. The one who says, “I see what God is doing in you, and I’m not going anywhere—even if it costs me.”

And honestly? That kind of loyalty is rare. Most friendships today are built on shared hobbies or mutual convenience. We’ll hang out as long as it’s easy, and ghost each other the second it gets complicated.

But look at Jonathan—he wasn’t just loyal to David, he was loyal to what God was doing through David. That’s a whole other level. He saw God’s anointing, and he didn’t get jealous. He didn’t get bitter. He got better. Because sharpening loyalty never competes with God’s will—it champions it.

Let’s get practical:

Do you have a Jonathan in your life? Someone who sharpens you through loyalty, even when you’re not at your best?

Even more challenging: Are you willing to be loyal to someone God is using—even if they’re getting more attention, more favor, more opportunities?Are you a Jonathan to somebody else?

It’s easy to celebrate others until they start succeeding. That’s when the sharpening begins. That’s when God exposes whether we’re cheerleaders or critics.

Jonathan teaches us this: You don’t have to be the main character in someone else’s story to be a faithful friend. Sometimes your greatest act of obedience is helping someone else walk into their destiny.

And David? He never forgot it. Years later, when Jonathan is gone, David asks, “Is there anyone left in Jonathan’s house I can show kindness to?” (2 Samuel 9). That’s legacy loyalty.

Awesome! 🙌 Let’s move into POINT 2 – “Sharpened by Commitment” featuring Ruth & Naomi. Here comes another 700-word deep dive, Joby Martin-style: real, raw, and dripping with Gospel truth.

POINT 2 – “Sharpened by Commitment”

Text: Ruth 1:16–18

Let’s be honest—loyalty is powerful, but commitment is what keeps it going when everything falls apart. And there’s no better picture of this than Ruth and Naomi.

Quick background: Naomi has lost everything. Her husband’s dead. Her two sons—gone. She’s living in a foreign land called Moab, and all she’s got left are her two Moabite daughters-in-law. In ancient culture, that meant no provision, no security, no future.

So Naomi does what most of us would do: she pushes people away. She says to Ruth and Orpah, “Go home. I’ve got nothing left to offer you. My life is bitter.” She’s literally renaming herself Mara—which means bitter.

And honestly, some of us have been there. We’ve gone through the kind of loss or burnout that makes us say, “Don’t stick with me—I’m too far gone. I’m not worth the hassle.”

But Ruth doesn’t run. She leans in. And she drops one of the most beautiful, sharpening friendship statements in all of Scripture:

“Where you go, I will go. Where you stay, I will stay. Your people will be my people, and your God will be my God.” (Ruth 1:16)

That’s commitment. Ruth doesn’t just stick around out of guilt—she links her destiny to Naomi’s. She commits not just to her mother-in-law, but to her God. That’s where sharpening happens—not in convenience, but in covenant.

Now let’s break this down:

1. Ruth is committing in the middle of Naomi’s bitterness.

Naomi isn’t winning any “mentor of the year” awards here. She’s angry. She’s hopeless. But Ruth stays. Why? Because faith-based commitment isn’t based on feelings—it’s based on faith in what God is doing beneath the surface.

And sometimes, let’s be honest, the people God calls us to walk with aren’t easy. They’re hurting. They’re jaded. They push us away. But sharpening isn’t just about receiving—it’s about offering presence when others feel abandoned.

2. Ruth chooses God’s plan over personal comfort.

She could’ve gone home. Gotten remarried. Moved on. But she chooses the harder road—and through that road, God grafts her into the lineage of Jesus. That’s right—this foreign widow becomes King David’s great-grandma. Why? Because she chose sharpening commitment over easy escape.

That’s what commitment does. It sharpens character. It deepens roots. It aligns you with God’s bigger story.

Here’s the application:

When your friends are in a Naomi season—bitter, broken, checked out—do you run? Or do you say, “Where you go, I go”?

Are your relationships built on convenience… or on covenant?

Because the world says: “If it doesn’t serve you, ditch it.” But the Gospel says: “If it doesn’t feel good, dig deeper.”

We need Ruth-friends. People who don’t just love you when you're strong and sunny but sit with you in your dark night of the soul. And we’re called to be Ruth-friends—who stick, even when there's nothing left to gain.

And here's the wild part: Naomi had no idea what God was doing through Ruth’s loyalty. But God was at work. Behind the scenes. Lining up Boaz. Setting up the next generation. Preparing the family tree of the Messiah.

So here’s the encouragement: Your commitment sharpens someone’s future—even when they can’t see it yet. Stay faithful. Keep walking. Because what feels like a slow, heavy journey might actually be the road to redemption.

Awesome! 🙌 Now we head into POINT 3 – “Sharpened by Restoration” featuring Jesus and Peter. Here's your full Joby-style, truth-telling, grace-soaked message in 700 words:

POINT 3 – “Sharpened by Restoration”

Text: John 21:15–19

Let’s talk about what happens when friendship gets messy—like betrayal-level messy. Because sharpening isn’t just about loyalty and commitment. Sometimes it’s about restoration—when the knife is so dull it’s nicked somebody, and the sharpening has to begin with grace.

Enter Peter.

Peter was Jesus’ ride-or-die. The guy who walked on water. The guy who chopped off a soldier’s ear to defend Jesus. The guy who swore, “Even if everyone else leaves you, I never will.”

And then... he did.

Not once. Not twice. Three times.

Peter denied even knowing Jesus. While Jesus was being beaten and mocked, Peter was outside warming his hands by a fire, swearing, “I don’t know the man.”

Talk about blunt. Talk about broken. Peter wasn’t sharpening anyone—he was shattering trust.

But what does Jesus do?

After the resurrection, Jesus meets Peter not with a lecture, but with breakfast. He doesn’t ghost him. He doesn’t give him the silent treatment. He cooks him fish on the beach and then starts a conversation that would change Peter’s life.

Three times Jesus asks, “Do you love me?” Not to shame Peter—but to restore him. Three denials, three questions, three chances to say, “Yes, Lord. You know I love you.”

That’s restoration. And that’s sharpening.

Because Jesus wasn’t just patching up a broken friendship—He was re-forging Peter’s identity. Every “Do you love me?” was a gentle strike on the blade, bringing Peter back into shape. And then Jesus commissions him: “Feed my sheep.”

Translation: “You’re not disqualified. You’re not damaged goods. I still want you. I still trust you. Let’s go build the Church.”

That’s what a real friend does. Not only do they call out the sin—they call out the calling. They don’t just confront you—they restore you.

Let’s break it down:

1. Jesus leads with grace, not guilt.

The world cancels people. Jesus restores people. He meets Peter in his shame, not with “I told you so,” but with “I’ve got breakfast ready.” That’s sharpening through love.

2. Restoration is a process.

Jesus doesn’t pretend it didn’t happen. He walks Peter through it—question by question, layer by layer. And maybe you’re here today and you feel like Peter. You’ve messed up. You’ve let people down. You’ve let yourself down. Hear this: Jesus isn’t done with you. He’s just getting started.

3. Real friends sharpen by pulling us back into purpose.

Peter’s denial didn’t erase his destiny. And your mistakes don’t erase yours either. Jesus restored Peter to launch him. Same goes for us.

Here’s the application:

Do you have a Jesus-type friend? Someone who doesn’t write you off when you blow it, but walks with you back to who God says you are?

And just as important: Are you quick to cut people off… or quick to cook breakfast and talk it through?Are you that kind of friend to others?

Because restoration is the deepest form of sharpening. It’s saying, “I see what you did—but I also see what God can still do in you.”

And let’s be real: sharpening isn’t just for the strong. It’s for the broken. For the ones who denied, who walked away, who thought they were done.

Sharpening friendships don’t just challenge you. They change you. And Jesus gives us the perfect model.

Let’s bring it home, preacher! 🙌 Here's your CONCLUSION – “Be That Friend, Find That Friend” in Joby-style, with clarity, heart, and a bold Gospel challenge.

CONCLUSION – “Be That Friend, Find That Friend”

So, let’s circle back. Proverbs 27:17—“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” That’s not just a verse for a men’s retreat T-shirt. That’s a call to intentional, Gospel-centered relationships that make you better—not bitter.

We saw it in Jonathan—loyalty that lays down pride and lifts up purpose. We saw it in Ruth—commitment that walks with the bitter without bailing. And we saw it in Jesus—restoration that doesn’t cancel, but commissions.

So what about you?

Who sharpens you? Who speaks truth over your life when you’d rather not hear it? Who’s in your corner when you mess up, not with a stone, but with breakfast and grace?

And flip it—who are you sharpening? Who’s getting better because you love them like Jesus?

Let this message be your invitation. Pray for these kinds of friends. Be this kind of friend. Don’t settle for blunt community when God’s offering you something razor-sharp and eternally meaningful.

Because the people around you? They’re not just in your life for comfort… they’re in it for calling.