Matthew 18:15 - The Call to Restoration

Prayer of Adoration

O Lord our God, We come to give to You the glory due Your name. You are holy—perfect in power, in love, and in purity. All the earth is Yours, and all creation trembles before Your majesty. We worship You in the splendor of holiness, bowing our hearts before the beauty of Your righteousness.

Yet in all Your holiness, You have drawn near to us in grace. In the cross of Christ, we behold both justice and mercy. So keep us near the cross, O Lord— Near to the place where love and wrath meet, Near to the fountain that flows with redeeming blood, Near to the hope that sustains us in life and in death.

You alone are worthy of our praise. Receive our worship now, for the sake of Your Son Jesus.

And it is in His name that we pray. Amen.

Pastoral Prayer

Gracious and holy Father, You are the God who rules over all—perfect in power, wisdom, and love. You spoke the world into being, and you sustain it by your Word. You are slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. You are a refuge to the weary, a shepherd to the wandering, and a Savior to the sinner. We come before you now not as a people who deserve to be heard, but as those who trust in the blood and righteousness of Jesus, our Redeemer.

We thank you this morning for your faithfulness to this church family. Thank you for sustaining us week by week with your Word and with one another. Thank you for the gospel that saves, for your Spirit who sanctifies, and for the promises that anchor us through every storm.

Lord, we lift up this week’s gathering of the Southern Baptist Convention. We pray that your Spirit would guide every conversation and every decision. We ask for clarity where there is confusion, courage where there is compromise, and humility where there is pride. Strengthen those who are standing firm for your truth with grace and conviction. Bring repentance and renewal where it is needed. And help our churches—especially the small and struggling ones—to find joy and strength in Christ and Christ alone. Make us a people who care more about faithfulness than influence, more about holiness than recognition, and more about your kingdom than our name.

We also lift up those among us who are hurting: Strengthen the weak. Comfort the grieving. Encourage the anxious. Heal the sick. And draw near to all who feel alone. Help us, as a church, to bear one another’s burdens well and to stir one another up to love and good works.

As we continue in worship, prepare our hearts to receive your Word. Open our eyes to see Christ more clearly, our hearts to love Him more deeply, and our wills to obey Him more faithfully.

We pray all this in the name of our risen and reigning King—Jesus Christ. Amen.

Sermon

Introduction

Matthew 18:15–20 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Matthew 18 begins with a surprising question:

“Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

As Jesus is coming to the beginning of the end of His life and ministry, the disciples, the ones who are to show the world what Jesus’ kingdom will be like, are still thinking like the world thinks—who’s got the power, the prestige, the front-row seat.

But Jesus calls over a child and says, This is greatness—humility, dependence, lowliness.

From there, Jesus begins painting a picture of what life looks like inside His kingdom. It’s not a kingdom of pride and self-assertion but of deep care for the lowly, ruthless war against sin, and passionate pursuit of the wandering sheep.

But then comes the real-world challenge: What happens when the person who sins isn’t outside the fold… but remains inside it? What happens when it’s someone who calls themself your brother or sister? Someone in the church—someone who shares the same communion table, who sings the same songs, who sits three rows behind you on Sunday.

Jesus gives us His answer in verse 15:

“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens, you have gained your brother.”

This is the first, and ideally the only, step in the process of church discipline: loving, personal, private confrontation that seeks restoration—not punishment. In order to have a healthy church we must have biblical church discipline.

So, let’s listen carefully to Jesus, because most conflicts in the church don’t escalate because of verse 17. They escalate because we ignore verse 15.

I. Loving Confrontation: The First Step in Church Discipline (v. 15)

Let’s begin by clarifying the kind of situation Jesus is describing.

“If your brother sins against you…”

Jesus assumes something serious has happened—not just a slight, not a disagreement, not a clashing personality or hurt feelings. He’s talking about sin—real sin. A violation of God’s Word. Something that needs to be addressed.

This distinction matters more than we often realize.

There’s a world of difference between being sinned against… and being annoyed. Between God’s law being violated… and your preferences not being honored.

Some of us are quick to feel wounded, and we interpret offense as sin. Others of us don’t want to rock the boat, so we minimize real wrongdoing.

But Jesus doesn’t leave room for either. He calls us to discernment. To humility. To courage.

Romans 14 and 1 Corinthians 8 both remind us not to bind the conscience of others in matters of opinion or preference. It’s not a sin to disagree with your approach. It’s not a sin to question a long-standing tradition in the church. It’s not a sin to parent differently, vote differently, or speak with a different tone.

As Proverbs 19:11 says:

“Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

That verse is gold for church life.

Sometimes the most godly response is to just let it go. Not in bitterness. Not in fear. But in peace.

It is vital to understand the difference between being offended and being sinned against.

But when we’re dealing with real sin—lying, slander, sexual immorality, abuse, divisiveness—Jesus says: Go to your brother.

Not to a group chat. Not to your prayer circle. To your brother. Personally. Privately. Gently.

And what’s the goal? Not to put them in their place. Not to get it off your chest. Not to win the argument.

“If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.”

That’s the goal: restoration.

This responsibility belongs to the one sinned against—but also, as Matthew 5:23–24 shows us, to the one who did the sinning. If you know someone has something against you, Jesus says: You go.

In other words, reconciliation is so important that no one gets to say, “Well, they should come to me.” Whether you caused the fracture or you feel the pain of it—you go.

Because the goal isn’t proving yourself right. The goal is to walk like Jesus walked—to love enough to speak.

And this doesn’t just apply in church meetings or ministry roles. It applies at home. Spouses—don’t let bitterness linger in the name of “just moving on.” Parents—model humble confession for your kids.

Your sin stinks too, and when you refuse to humble yourself and admit that, you’re not being strong — you’re just filled with pride and sin.

It’s not weakness to admit you were wrong in humble confession seeking to restore what you have broken.

That is precisely what kingdom greatness looks like.

Now, that’s the individual call. But here’s the question: how can we take this kind of restoration seriously unless we take our relationships with each other seriously in the first place?

If the church is just a weekly crowd or a loose community of spiritual acquaintances, why would we ever confront sin like this? Why not just leave, gossip, ghost, and go join a different church?

The answer is that Jesus assumes something much deeper is true of His people. He assumes covenant. He assumes commitment. He assumes that we belong to each other—not just in name, but in promise.

And that brings us to the second point.

II. Committed Relationships: Why We Need Meaningful Church Covenants

(Matthew 18:15 assumes covenant community)

Jesus doesn’t give this command in a vacuum. This isn't a command for strangers. This is a command for brothers. For people who know each other. Love each other. Are committed to each other.

“If your brother sins against you…” — in other words, this only makes sense if we see ourselves as part of a spiritual family.

And just like in a healthy family, you don’t walk away the moment there’s conflict. You don’t treat sin as someone else’s problem. You don’t ignore it, and you don’t weaponize it.

You engage it. Lovingly. Humbly. Because the relationship matters.

And this is where meaningful church membership comes in. This is why we don’t just attend a church—we belong to it. This is why we don’t just float in and out—we covenant together.

A church covenant isn’t a mere tradition or outdated formality. It’s a mutual commitment before God and each other to live this out. It says: I’m not here just for good music, good preaching, or good programs. I’m here because we are a people—joined together in Christ, on mission together, and responsible for each other’s spiritual good.

Let me speak plainly for a moment.

I believe it’s time for us as a church to revisit our covenant—what it says, how we use it, and how seriously we take it.

I want us to have a covenant that actually reflects what Jesus calls us to: A covenant that expresses our commitment to pursue one another in love, to confront sin with gentleness and truth, to fight for restoration—not division—and to walk with one another until Christ returns or calls us home.

And I think a covenant that would be calling for church discipline on Jesus for turning water into wine at the wedding feast is a covenant that we should have concerns with. And that is currently our church’s covenant.

And the importance of a meaningful covenant is too often overlooked. It brings clarity to what we are joining and what responsibilities we take on as church members, and it also brings clarity to who we are responsible for.

Because if Jesus calls us to pursue a sinning brother or sister in love, then we need to know who our brothers and sisters are.

We need to know what we’re committing to. We need to know who we’re committed to. We need to know who’s committed to us.

Without that clarity, church discipline can feel like overreach or confusion—like a surprise instead of a shared responsibility.

But in a covenanted church family, where we’ve said to one another, “Yes, I’m all in. I want your good. I want you to speak truth to me when I wander. I will speak truth to you when you’re in danger. We belong to each other in Christ,” —now Matthew 18 makes sense.

This kind of covenant isn’t cold legalism. It’s relational glue. It’s what allows confrontation to happen in love, not fear. It’s what makes restoration possible and beautiful.

Think of it this way: a church covenant is like wedding vows.

They don’t create the relationship—but they define it. And when the love is harder to maintain in the relationship, the commitment to the promise helps sustain until that love can blossom again. These promises shape our expectations, guide our behavior, and call us back when we drift.

And just like in marriage, when the covenant is taken seriously, there’s safety to have hard conversations. There’s room for repentance. There’s grace for growth.

Some of you may have experienced churches where “membership” meant nothing more than voting or receiving a newsletter. That’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about real commitment.

Others of you may have seen church covenants used abusively—as tools of control rather than invitations to walk in grace and truth. That’s not what we want either.

But when done rightly, a church covenant gives us clarity, unity, and courage. It says to every believer here: You’re not walking alone. We’re in this together.

Transitional Reflection into Point III:

So if Jesus calls every believer to lovingly confront sin… And if this only makes sense inside a committed church family… Then the natural next question is: How do we actually do it?

How do we approach a brother or sister when we see sin? How do we do that without being harsh? Or cowardly? Or gossipy? How do we obey Jesus not just in theory—but in practice?

That’s where we turn next.

III. Practical Steps for Loving Confrontation

(Matthew 18:15 — "Go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.")

Let’s get really practical. Jesus doesn’t just tell us what to do—He tells us how to do it.

“Go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone.”

This is private. Personal. Gentle. Intentional. And it’s for the sake of restoration—not victory.

So I want to encourage you with 4 steps in confronting sin in brothers and sisters.

Step 1: Check your own heart first.

Before you go to your brother or sister, go to God. Ask Him to search your motives:

Am I trying to restore—or am I just angry?

Am I speaking out of love—or out of pride?

Have I exaggerated this in my mind?

Is this truly sin—or just a personal irritation?

You have to be so humble when you step into calling someone to repentance. You must recognize that you, like the Apostle Paul, are the chief of sinners in desperate need of the grace of God.

And if there is any speck of pride in you, it is quite possible that the pride in the other person will dig at it and reveal it.

Because people who are not used to being lovingly called out on their sin will almost always react in sinful self-preserving ways.

If your own pride is involved then you will act in sinful self-preserving ways too. Either cowering, or allowing yourself to fall into an unhelpful argument, getting offended at their accusations.

Humbly bear the brunt of their wrath for the sake of Christ, and pray for their repentance. I have found that no one enjoys being confronted in the moment, but many appreciate the faithful wounds of a friend after a short time. Your loving long-suffering as a reflection of the loving long-suffering of Jesus Christ can very well be the necessary step to bring your brother to repentance.

The attitude with which you come to your brothers and sisters matters.

Matthew 7:5 reminds us to take the log out of our own eye first.

If you’re unwilling to humbly examine your own heart, you’re probably not ready to confront someone else.

Application: You might even ask a mature Christian you trust: “I think I need to confront this situation. Would you help me discern if it’s truly sin, and pray for me to be gentle and clear?”

Step 2: Go privately, not publicly.

Jesus says: “Between you and him alone.” That means:

Not a prayer request masked as gossip.

Not a group text.

Not rallying people to “see your side.”

You humbly, but boldly!, go to them. One-on-one. In person, if possible. You’re not trying to win a case—you’re trying to win a brother.

Proverbs 25:9:

“Argue your case with your neighbor himself, and do not reveal another's secret.”

Illustration:

Imagine a friend tells you your zipper is down or your breath smells. If they tell you quietly and kindly, you’re grateful. But if they announce it to the whole room? That’s humiliating. Private correction preserves dignity. Jesus' instruction protects the person and prioritizes reconciliation.

Step 3: Be clear, specific, and gracious.

Don’t come in with vague frustration or a condescending tone. Use words like:

“It’s been a long time since I’ve seen you consistently at church. We made a promise to follow the Bible’s teaching on gathering together every week and we miss you a lot. What’s going on?”

“I've noticed this specific pattern in your life, and I'm concerned for your walk with Christ.”

“I want to restore our relationship—I’m not here to accuse, but to reconcile.”

And always remember: you’re not the judge. You’re not the Holy Spirit. You are a fellow sinner, pleading with a brother or sister in love.

Galatians 6:1 (again):

“If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”

Step 4: If they repent, rejoice. Don’t punish.

“If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Not: “You’ve gotten justice.” Not: “You proved your point.” But: You’ve gained your brother. That’s the win.

This is not about winning arguments—it’s about winning people.

Application:

If someone confronts you gently and biblically—thank them. Even if it stings. Even if their timing was off. Even if they didn’t say everything perfectly.

Why? Because humility receives correction. Proverbs 9:8–9 says, “Reprove a wise man, and he will love you. Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser.” The proud resist correction. The wise receive it. The humble are grateful for it.

When someone loves you enough to point out sin or danger in your life, they’re not trying to take you down—they’re trying to lift you up. They’re risking awkwardness, discomfort, even rejection… because they care more about your soul than your opinion of them. They’re imitating Christ, who comes after wandering sheep. And when we respond with humility, we show that the Spirit of Christ is at work in us too.

Correction isn’t condemnation—it’s an invitation. An invitation to grow. An opportunity to repent. A chance to be shaped by the truth rather than hardened by sin.

So don’t bristle. Don’t hide. Don’t make excuses. Thank God that you have brothers and sisters who are committed to your holiness. And thank the one who loved you enough to say the hard thing.

And remember—real repentance doesn’t just happen silently in your heart. If you have sinned against someone, repentance means going to them. Confessing clearly. Asking for forgiveness. Making it right.

Private sins can be confessed privately. But personal sins must be confessed personally. Because sin wounds relationships—and repentance begins the work of restoration.

That’s not shame—it’s freedom. That’s not humiliation—it’s humility. That’s not weakness—it’s Christlikeness.

And if you’ve been on the receiving end of confrontation and you’ve repented—don’t keep yourself in self-punishment or shame. Christ restores. The church embraces. You’re not a second-class member. You’re a living testimony of grace.

For those still Avoiding This Command:

Let’s be honest—most of us are conflict-averse. We’d rather say nothing than risk offending someone. We’d rather stew in bitterness or vent to others than have a hard conversation.

But silence is not love. Avoidance is not grace. Jesus calls us to go—because He came for us.

He left the glory of heaven to pursue sinners who had wandered far. He did not wait for us to clean ourselves up. He didn’t stand at a distance shaking His head. He came near—God in the flesh—full of grace and truth. He came not to crush us under the weight of our guilt, but to carry it on His own shoulders. He bore our sin, endured our punishment, and died our death, so that we might be reconciled to God.

And now, He sends us to reflect that same love— Not with pride, but with humility. Not with cold correction, but with tender courage. Not to shame, but to restore.

Because we have been pursued, we now pursue. Because we’ve been forgiven, we now go with forgiveness. Because He came for us, we now go for one another.

Closing Summary of Point 3:

So what have we seen?

Check your heart. Examine your motives.

Go directly. Not publicly, not through others—just you and them.

Speak clearly and graciously. Focus on restoration, not accusation.

Celebrate repentance. Don’t punish; rejoice.

When this is done rightly—privately, lovingly, and biblically—this first step is often the only step that’s needed. Restoration happens. Relationships are healed. The church is strengthened.

And next week, we’ll look at what happens when repentance doesn’t come—how the church, as a body, enters the process.

Conclusion & Call to Faithful Obedience

Church, Jesus has shown us a better way. Not the way of avoidance. Not the way of gossip. Not the way of passive bitterness or aggressive pride. But the way of humble, loving, courageous confrontation—a way that reflects His own heart for restoration.

So let’s walk in obedience.

If someone has sinned against you, go to them. If you’ve sinned against someone else, go to them. Not to win a fight—but to win a brother. Not to shame—but to heal. Not to escalate—but to restore.

This is the greatness of the kingdom: Not power, but peace. Not pride, but repentance. Not self-preservation, but sacrificial love.

May we be a people who take Jesus at His word—and follow Him into the hard but holy work of restoration. Let’s be faithful to go—because He was faithful to come for us.

Let’s Pray.

Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus, Thank You that no matter how far we wander or how deeply we stumble, You are always ready to welcome us back with open arms. You are our Restorer, our Redeemer, and the One who calls us home. As we sing Almost Home together, remind us that this journey of restoration and reconciliation is part of the path You’ve set for us. Strengthen us to live faithfully, to love courageously, and to walk humbly with one another—knowing that with You, we are never truly lost, but always almost home. May this song be a prayer on our lips and a hope in our hearts as we continue to follow You. In Your precious name, Amen.

Confession and Assurance

Confession

Prayer of Corporate Confession:

Merciful Father, We confess that we have not loved one another as You have called us to. We have harbored resentment, avoided hard conversations, and chosen pride over peace. We have ignored sin in others and hidden our own, rather than walking in the light. Forgive us for choosing comfort over courage, silence over truth, and bitterness over grace.

Yet we praise You that Jesus did not avoid the hard work of reconciliation. He came to us in our sin—not to condemn us, but to rescue us. He bore our guilt on the cross, rose in victory, and now intercedes for us as our faithful Mediator. Because of Him, we have peace with You and the power to pursue peace with one another.

Search our hearts, O God. Renew us by Your Spirit. Make us a people marked by humility, repentance, and love. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Assurance

Assurance of Pardon – 1 John 1:8–9 (ESV):

“If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Brothers and sisters, hear this good news: Our God is not reluctant to forgive. He is faithful. He is just. When we come to Him in humility, He does not cast us out. He cleanses us. He restores us. In Christ, your sins are forgiven. Thanks be to God!

Benediction

Beloved, As you go, remember the words of Galatians 6:1:

“If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.”

May the Lord give you courage to confront sin in love, humility to receive correction with grace, and hearts that long for the restoration of all things.

And until that day,

“May the Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24–26)

Go in peace — and remember: don’t give up on following Christ because we’re almost home. Amen.