Understanding Shame - what it is, what it isn’t.

Definition

Eerdmans Dictionary of the Bible Honor, Shame

Among North Americans, honor and shame often refer to a psychological state—a person’s internal moral character or the actions that reflect that character. In the world of the Bible and in traditional Mediterranean societies, however, honor and shame are social values determinative of a person’s identity and social status. Honor is a person’s claim to self-worth and the social acknowledgment of that claim—i.e., honor is a person’s public reputation which constitutes his or her identity. Shame is a person’s concern for reputation. It is a positive value by which one seeks to maintain or protect his or her honor. If one is unable to maintain his honor, or if his peers do not acknowledge his claim to self-worth, then the person is shamed, i.e., dishonored and disgraced. A person with no concern for his honor or reputation is shameless.

Option A - Terrible, Horrible and we should never feel it

Option B - We should be overwhelmed with shame as it what helps us change and modifies our behavior

Option C - ? A middle, that is healthy, appropriate and biblically informed!

East is east and west is and never the twain shall meet

Western societies vs Mediterranean Societies?

Tale of shitter sucker driver

Guilt/Shame/Conviction

Guilt - I made a mistake

Emotional Response to Behavior (Bad Behavior)

Shame (Toxic) - I am a mistake (we are the sum totals of our bad behaviors)

We are only as worthwhile and valuable as our last mistake or our good deed

an attack of our being

Shame based identity

Being vs. Behavior

a sense of ourselves that we are Worthless/Unlovable/Unforgivable

Hide & perpetuate harmful habits or actions (off set our shame/No healing)

-Alcohol

-Porn

-Anger

-Suicide

Can I punch enough old ladies to become worthless to God?

The three “I’s” of Shame

Insignificance - Do I matter/am I valuable

Incompetence - Do I have what it takes

Impotence (Powerlessness) - Do I have the power to change? Can I effect my situation. Can I be something other than what I am doing?

Conviction (Biblical Shame) - A prompt for repentance and a return to relationship

Turn pale at the sight of something vile

Remorse and regret

God Imagined you and breathed life into you

Intrinsically and infinitely valuable and dearly loved

nothing you can do to make God love you more

Nothing you can do to make God love you less

Essence of biblical Shame or conviction is never to humiliate us and to prompt repentance.

Return to the people and places

I sin horribly(name it)

Should I feel guilty?

Should I feel convicted to change? Should I repent? Is it who I am?

Should I be ashamed of myself?