The Hurting Power of Our Words

Winston Churchill once said, “By swallowing evil words unsaid, no one has ever harmed his stomach.”

He was right—words are powerful. Not just the ones we say out loud, but the ones we think, mutter, post, and whisper.

You’ve seen it this week—two of the most powerful men in the world throwing verbal grenades at each other. Words matter.

Some of you still remember that one thing your coach said… or your dad said… or what a friend said behind your back.

We’ve all been wounded by words… but if we’re honest, we’ve all wielded them too.

Our key verse for this series: Proverbs 18:21 – “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

In Proverbs, Solomon breaks life into two camps: the wise and the fool. This shows up in how we handle money, work—and especially our words.

Proverbs 18:6–7 – “A fool’s lips walk into a fight, and his mouth invites a beating. A fool’s mouth is his ruin, and his lips are a snare to his soul.”

MAIN POINT:

MPS: Our words have the power to destroy—others and ourselves.

Let’s do a kind of spiritual check-up today, because (1) one of Satan’s favorite tactics is weaponizing our words.

Proverbs gives us three categories of destructive speech. Let’s look at each, along with the heart condition underneath and the damage they cause.

A) Gossip & Slander

The Greek word for "slander" is diabolos—where we get "devil." (James 3—the tongue is set on fire by hell itself).

Two things are true:

Satan is the Father of Lies.

Satan hates the image of God.

And since you and I are made in God’s image, he’ll do anything to tear us down—including turning our God-given ability to speak into a weapon.

We are God’s image bearers and if Satan can weaponize words to hurt the image bearers by degrading them, destroying them emotionally, etc…he will.

Proverbs 10:18 – “Whoever utters slander is a fool.” Proverbs 16:28 – “A whisperer separates close friends.” Proverbs 26:20–22 – “Where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases…”

Who is the “whisperer?”

Slander and gossip often wear disguises: "prayer requests," "concern," or “just venting.”

Heart Conditions Behind Gossip and Slander:

Pride – “I elevate myself by putting others down.”

Envy or Insecurity – “I tear others down because I’m not content with who I am.”

Bitterness – “I speak to wound because I haven’t healed.”

Damage to others: Ruined reputations, broken trust. Damage to you: A poisoned, prideful heart.

“Gossip and slander are not slip-ups of the tongue—they are symptoms of a heart infected with pride, envy, or bitterness.”

B) Deceit & Lying

A half-truth is a whole lie. 99% truth is still 100% deception.

Proverbs 12:19–20 – “Truthful lips endure forever, but a lying tongue is but for a moment.” Proverbs 12:22 – “Lying lips are an abomination to the Lord…” Proverbs 10:9 – “Whoever walks in integrity walks securely…”

Heart Conditions Behind Lying and Deceit:

Fear of Man – “I lie because I’m afraid of what others will think.” (Think Peter denying Jesus.)

Control – “I deceive to manipulate outcomes in my favor.” (Think Jacob deceiving Isaac in Genesis 27.)

Lack of Trust in God – “I don’t believe the truth is enough.”

Damage to others: Breaks trust. Damage to you: Erodes integrity, multiplies anxiety, dulls your conscience, and distances you from God.

Psalm 32:3–4 – “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away...”

C) Harsh & Reckless Words

Ever spoken out of anger and instantly regretted it?

Proverbs 12:18 – “Rash words are like sword thrusts…” Proverbs 15:4 – “A gentle tongue is a tree of life…”

Heart Conditions Behind Harsh Words:

Anger – “I lash out because I’m hurt or offended.”

Man. How often are we guilty of lashing out at someone because they’ve hurt us?

Pride – “I value being right more than being loving.”

Lack of Self-Control – “I react instead of respond.”

Damage to others: Crushed spirits, broken relationships. Damage to you: Ongoing shame, isolation, and a witness that dishonors Christ.

Did you know that your brain on revenge looks a lot like your brain on drugs? A study published in Science found that when people were given a chance to get back at someone who wronged them—even at a personal cost—the reward centers in their brain lit up like someone getting a hit of dopamine. It felt good… for a moment.

But like a drug, that rush fades quickly. And researchers discovered something else: those who gave in to revenge often felt worse later—more anxious, more angry, more trapped in the cycle. On the other hand, people who resisted the urge to retaliate showed greater activity in the part of the brain tied to self-control and maturity.

(2) OUR WORDS SHAPE OUR WITNESS

Let me ask you: Do your words reflect a heart that’s been transformed by Jesus?

Ephesians 4:29 – “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

Our words are not neutral—they either build up or they tear down. They either give grace or they grieve the Holy Spirit.Every word we speak tells others something about the condition of our heart—and ultimately, something about the One we claim to follow.

Later in Ephesians 4:31–32, Paul gives a contrast:

“Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you… Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.”

Paul's not just giving communication tips—he’s calling us to live and speak in a way that reflects the gospel.

ILLUSTRATION: The Grocery Store Encounter

Imagine someone from your church sees you at the grocery store. You don't notice them, but they overhear you in the checkout line berating the cashier over a pricing issue. You’re frustrated, short-tempered, and harsh. Later that person finds out you’re a leader in your church or a professing believer. What impression do they walk away with?

Your Sunday morning worship is one witness. But do your Tuesday afternoon words say something different?

We can praise God with our mouths on Sunday and then curse people made in His image by Wednesday (James 3:9–10). That kind of inconsistency weakens our witness and confuses the world.

APPLICATION: Living a Gospel-Shaped Mouth

Let’s ask ourselves a few honest questions:

Do my words show the kindness and forgiveness of Christ?

When I speak to my spouse, kids, coworkers, or server at a restaurant—do I sound like someone who’s been forgiven of everything?

If someone only knew me by how I talk—would they be drawn to Jesus or turned off by me?

Here’s a good litmus test: Before you speak, ask— “Will this word give grace?” (Eph. 4:29)

If not, it might be better left unsaid.

Challenge & Encouragement

Your words may be one of the clearest witnesses to your faith.

Kind words in conflict show the gospel’s power.

Gracious speech in stress shows the Spirit’s fruit.

Forgiving words when wronged show the heart of Jesus.

Let’s not just preach the gospel with our mouths—we should embody itin our conversations, our tone, our reactions.

Because people may never read a Bible—but they will read our lives. And they’ll start with our words.

(3) HOW CAN I HAVE VICTORY OVER THE HURTING POWER OF MY WORDS?

Not by willpower—but by surrender. My mama used to wash my mouth out with soap.

Repentance – Take your pride, anger, bitterness, or deceit to the cross.

Reconciliation – Ask forgiveness from those you’ve hurt.

Surrender – Give your words to the Holy Spirit daily.

Ephesians 4:23 – “Be renewed in the spirit of your minds…”

Saturate Your Heart with Scripture – The more God’s Word fills your heart, the more life will flow from your mouth.

CONCLUSION

I don’t know how many of you realized it but today is Pentecost Sunday—40 days after Easter—when God sent the Holy Spirit on the disciples in the upper room. Now, why do I bring that up?

In Genesis 11, the Bible tells us that the whole earth (people) spoke one language and decided that it was a good idea to build a monument to themselves—a shrine to their greatness and their power and unity—a tower that represented the way they viewed themselves—like gods. And, so, what did God do? He confused their language. You see…what God gave as something good (language/words to worship him, to communicate with one another)—Satan weaponized.

Pentecost was God’s reversal—redemption. In Genesis, the speaking of different languages brought confusion. In Acts 2, it brings the message of salvation. See, what Satan corrupts and weaponizes, God redeems, restores, and uses for His glory.

GOSPEL/NEXT STEP