You Make Me Sick

1 Kings 1:5–10 NASB95

Now Adonijah 9 (ah dun i jah ) the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” So he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen with fifty men to run before him. His father had never crossed him at any time by asking, “Why have you done so?” And he was also a very handsome man, and he was born after Absalom. He had conferred with Joab the son of Zeruiah and with Abiathar the priest; and following Adonijah they helped him. But Zadok the priest, Benaiah the son of Jehoiada, Nathan the prophet, Shimei, Rei, and the mighty men who belonged to David, were not with Adonijah. Adonijah sacrificed sheep and oxen and fatlings by the stone of Zoheleth, which is beside En-rogel; and he invited all his brothers, the king’s sons, and all the men of Judah, the king’s servants. But he did not invite Nathan the prophet, Benaiah, the mighty men, and Solomon his brother.

5-6 (The Message)

At this time Adonijah, whose mother was Haggith, puffed himself up saying, “I’m the next king!” He made quite a splash, with chariots and riders and fifty men to run ahead of him. His father(David) had spoiled him rotten as a child, never once reprimanding him. Besides that, he was very good-looking and the next in line after Absalom.

(Here we have the kids tell the parents, guardians etc. say the title of the sermon)

Not long ago, my kids came to me talking about this “24-Hour Yes Challenge.” If you don’t know, that’s where the parent has to say yes to whatever their kids ask—for a whole day. Whatever they want to eat. Wherever they want to go. Whatever crazy idea pops in their head—you gotta say “yes.”

Now at first, I laughed. But then I started thinking…

Wait a minute—how much money am I about to lose? What weird places am I gonna end up at? Am I about to be in a trampoline park dressed like Spider-Man eating Takis at 8AM?!

But then it got real for me. I started asking myself,

“If I actually did this… what kind of kids would I be raising?” “What kind of habits would I be planting in them?” “What kind of seeds would I be sowing?”

Because while it sounds like fun in the moment, saying yes to everything—**no matter how crazy or immature it is—**could create a child who’s never told “no.” And if you raise a child who never hears “no,” you might be raising a soul who never knows discipline. And a life without discipline is a life headed for disaster.

So this isn’t coming from a place of disrespect. This is the scream, the cry of a young generation that’s dying on the inside, and showing on the outside because nobody ever told them ‘No.’ No shouldnt be ALWAYS, neither should YES!

God as good as He is towards us, doesnt always say Yes! Sometimes and Thank God that sometimes our request is denied.

You missed your shout, because all you heard was no. You are here because God denied some requests. You are still alive because God said NO!

All im saying is if there is No correction. No confrontation. No accountability. And when you don’t correct me… you’re not covering me. When you don’t check me… you’re not protecting me.

It’s like a sickness in the soul— ‘You make me sick… when you won’t make me better.’”

David who have done so many great things that christians should copy. But this is something not often discussed. David parenting skills was pretty bad. One thing about the bible is that it tells the truth on its heros. Shows the good the bad and the ugly.

David was a parent who let things slide when it came to his kids. One of david sons, rapped his own step sister, David was angry but never confronted him, This made Absolom rebel and kill his brother for raping his sister, and David was sad, but never Confronted Absalom. Bible says here that David never confronted, or even asked Why are you doing this?

So I came to preach this message for the sons who never got told “sit down,” For the daughters who never got told “you’re worth more,” For the mamas who didn’t know how to correct ‘cause they were still tryin’ to survive, And for the daddies who sat silent too long ‘cause they were still tryna forgive themselves for what they did wrong.

This sermon is for all of us.

Passive Parents Produce Proud People (v.5)

1 Kings 1:5 ESV

5 Now Adonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” And he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him.

This ain’t about bashing parents—it’s about acknowledging what happens when correction is absent. David wasn’t evil. David wasn’t abusive. He was… passive.

And here’s the thing about passivity—it feels peaceful in the moment, but it’s planting chaos for the future.

Adonijah had no boundaries. No checks. No redirection. He had the royal look, the royal name, the royal bloodline—but nobody told him, “You ain’t ready.”

So now he thinks he can just declare a throne God never delivered to him.

Sometimes we confuse silence for grace. We tell ourselves, “They’re just figuring it out.” Or worse, “I did worse at that age, who am I to say something?”

But the truth is—if we don’t say something now, life will say it louder later. If we don’t say “no” in love, the world will say “you’re done” in pain.

David wasn’t passive because he didn’t care. He might’ve been passive because he felt disqualified.

How do you correct your son when you’ve been guilty of the same kind of sins? How do you challenge a behavior that reminds you of yourself?

David had messed up with Bathsheba. He had failed to deal with Amnon and Tamar. He had lost Absalom. So when it came to Adonijah… he stayed silent.

But silence is not always mercy—it can be mismanagement.

Application

Correction isnt as an attack—see it as alignment.

God disciplines those He loves—not to punish, but to protect.

Correction - is like a Fence, but it's looked at like a cage.

The Bible said Adonijah was handsome. Had the look. Had the presence. Had the resources. But he lacked something private—formation.

David never displeased him—not once. And what looks like love on the surface turned out to be spiritual neglect underneath.

So here's the bottom line of this first point, and I’m not yelling it—I’m laying it at your feet:

If you won’t confront it while it’s small, it’ll grow big enough to destroy what you love.

Confront while its young, while its a seed, while small, because when it grows its to late to destroy. Train up a child, when he gets old he wont depart. We want to train when they are old, then want to put fist on them.

Since david was silence when it came to the others, absolom, rape case etc. Adonijah felt confident enough to stand out loud and bold and Put himself on the Throne, because he knew his father wouldnt challenge him.

When you say nothing you produce people who dont have limits. Who know no boundaries. Prison is filled with those who went passed the limit.

He never corrected the boy. Never displeased him. Never said, “Son… slow down. You not ready yet.”

And listen—passivity becomes permissiveness when it keeps repeating.

Because when you consistently avoid confrontation… When you routinely let behavior slide… When “discipline” becomes a dirty word in your house… You’re no longer just silent—you’re shaping something.

You’re permitting that behavior to grow… and now it’s got roots.

We cant produce proud people, because all that does is Promote Pretenders.

Permissiveness Promotes Pretenders (v.6)

Verse 6 says, “His father had never at any time displeased him...” In other words—David let Adonijah do whatever he wanted. And that made him think he could do whatever he pleased.

Bible says he was handsome. talented, skillfull, fast, athletic, great speakers, singer etc. But if there is no shaping you could be raising a pretender instead of a contender.

You assume you’re ready for positions you haven’t been prepared for.

When you spoil, you dont prepare them for whats coming.

You can only make so far with looks, you can only make so far with talent, you can only make so far with skill. So many made it to the top because of their skill, but couldn't stay there because of their character.

Adonijah (ah dun i jah) was a pretender. Adonijah (names mean Yahweh is my master.) Yet what you see is I will be King, instead of God saying it. When you go before God you going as a pretender. Go without the Lord consent you may be going without the Lords Presence, and without his presence you going without His power, and you cant contend in the life without the power of God. (Its not by my might, not by my power, but its by the spirit of the Lord)

I refuse to raise kids who dont have purpose in life. There is purpose for every life.

Life without purpose is just surviving. We were meant to live. When there is purpose, pain can be endured, trials turn into trails when there is Purpose.

(I might say this) my father told me long time ago, I support dreams and careers not hobbies. Dreams comes with Purpose.

—————————————————————————————————-

Passive parenting produces people who don't know limits…

Permissiveness produces pretenders who don’t know purpose…

And now we’ve seen how prideful plans precede pain—it kills potential before it can walk in purpose.

🧱 Point 3: Prideful Plans Precede Pain (v.7)

Now verse 7 says Adonijah got Joab and Abiathar to help him. Watch this—he pullin’ power moves with crooked company. ‘Cause when you ain’t got correction, you’ll take confirmation from anybody.

He ain’t call Solomon. Ain’t call Nathan. Ain’t call the ones who would’ve told him the truth.

🎯 Application: Beware of people who only call folks that cosign they dysfunction. Beware of building kingdoms with people who don't care about God’s will.

If you dont tell them, somebody is telling them. Somebody is in there ear. They are getting information somewhere.

If it aint the one who went through labor with that big head rascal. Then it will be some other. and they will co-sign with their dysfunction.

You have the blueprint and yet kept silent. David and man after gods on heart. David the worshipper. who knew how to seek god presence, who knew how to ask for forgivenss. David had the blueprint and yet decided to keep silent. All the stuff you went through, all the pain you experience, all the failure, all the faults, your dysfunction is really your super power. That shouldnt cause you to hush but you shuold be willing to share.

You have scars, because you were left here to share

you have bruises, god left you here to share that.

David didnt share his shepherd experiences, his bathsheba experience, his uriah experience,

And here’s the part I love... the same way Adonijah needed correction—so did we.

We were all sick,

Born sick and shape in iniquity. Born with a disease that only one could cure. Imagine having the cure and never saying something?

But He is a good good father, after watching mankind sickness spread all over the world,

But Jesus stepped in.

He ain’t exalt Himself—He let Himself be lifted on a cross. He ain’t grab a throne—He picked up a crown of thorns. He didn’t demand a feast—He gave us the bread and wine of salvation. He didn’t call 50 men to run ahead of Him—He walked alone up Calvary’s hill.

When the youth say, “You make me sick,” They not tryna be disrespectful—they hurtin’. They’re sayin’, “Why won’t you stop me?” “Why won’t you love me enough to check me?” “Why do you let me ruin myself with silence?”

Parents, Leaders, OGs, Aunties, Uncles— It’s time we answer back:

“I’m making you better— better than me, better momma than me, better man than me, better Christian than I ever was.”

This ain’t about shame. It’s about shiftin’ the story.

He ain’t exalt Himself—He let Himself be lifted on a cross. He ain’t grab a throne—He picked up a crown of thorns. He didn’t demand a feast—He gave us the bread and wine of salvation. He didn’t call 50 men to run ahead of Him—He walked alone up Calvary’s hill.

💥 Why?

So He could take the sickness in us... and give us the strength of His Spirit. So He could take the rebellion in us... and give us the righteousness of God.

“You make me sick!” “I’m makin’ you better!”

“Why you always on my case?” “So you don’t catch one!”

“You don’t understand me.” “I’m tryin’ to raise the part of you that will outlive me.”