Man of the House

MALE HEADSHIP:

There is a term today that is widely used in Christian circles to refer to a man's role in the home. That term is spiritual leader.

This term sells short man's role in God's plan for marriage and family.

Man is much more than the spiritual leader, he is the head…which applies to everything, not just spiritual issues.

As the church has attempted to make itself more palatable to modern culture and political correctness, the term spiritual leader has been used to undermine God's perfect plan for marriage.

Just look at our divorce rates, even among Christians.

I dare say that the vast majority of divorced Christians did not follow God's plan.

God has mandated a hierarchy of leadership and accountability, but it does not mean inequality.

A man is no better than a woman, there is no superiority. Its just that our God is a God of order, and this system keeps things orderly.

We also need to understand that nothing in the Scripture gives man the right to be a dictator.

A wise man will seek his wife's counsel and advice.

A wise man will involve his wife in decision making.

However, the man is held as the accountable party, and the wife will need to understand that.

There is a distinct difference between a leader and a ruler. A christian man should be a leader.

Following a ruler is mandatory, but following a leader is voluntary.

A Godly husband should be a man that his wife trusts, and wants to follow.

A Godly wife will willingly follow her husband's lead.

Let's look at how Scripture establishes the headship of man.

Adam was the first to be created.

Genesis 2:7

Genesis 2:7 NKJV

And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living being.

Genesis 2:21-22

Genesis 2:21–22 NKJV

And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man.

In fact, the woman was created for the purpose of being a helper who is comparable (equal) to the man. (Genesis 2:18)

If someone has a helper, the person with the helper is the one who is ultimately in charge.

That person will also bear responsibility for and be accountable for the helper.

We also need to understand that the woman’s subordinate role was not a result of the fall.

God established her role as part of his original creation.

As mentioned earlier, God created her to be a suitable helper.

It is clear from Scripture that man was designed to be the head, which has always been God's perfect plan.

Man’s headship is clearly laid out in Scripture.

Genesis 2:18

Genesis 2:18 NKJV

And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”

Genesis 3:16

Genesis 3:16 NKJV

To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”

1 Corinthians 11:3

1 Corinthians 11:3 NKJV

But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

1 Corinthians 11:8-9

1 Corinthians 11:8–9 NKJV

For man is not from woman, but woman from man. Nor was man created for the woman, but woman for the man.

Ephesians 5:23

Ephesians 5:23 NKJV

For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.

The word for "head" is an interesting word: It is used to mean a literall head, but is also used to refer to a cornerstone.

A literal head, is of course where the rest of the Body receives its instructions. Without the head, the body would be useless.

Likewise, a head without a body would also be useless. It works both ways.

A cornerstone is absolutely essential to the integrity (stability) of a building, and everything flows from the cornerstone.

Without the cornerstone, the structure would be incomplete and unstable.

Likewise, a cornerstone without a building is nothing. Again, it works both ways.

Here, the word head seems to express two things: subordination and origination.

Woman originated from man and is subordinate to him.

This is no different from how Christ was subordinate to the Father.

In a marriage, it is important to have a head for direction, and a cornerstone for completeness and stability…God has designed man for that role.

Sadly, far too many marriages do not have a clearly defined head, or in many cases the woman has assumed the role.

When this order is subverted, the results are disastrous.

Look at what happened with Adam and Eve.

Adam violated his leadership role, followed Eve in her sin, and plunged the human race into sinfulness.

Violating God’s planned roles for the sexes is no less disastrous today.

We live in a gender confused society, and have gender confused marriages.

In too many marriages there are no clear lines, no clear roles.

Man often violates his leadership role by being an abusive dictator, or by being wimpy and ceding leadership to his wife.

Either way, it spells disaster for the marriage.

With about 50% of all marriages ending in divorce, we have to conclude that something is wrong, and its not hard to figure out.

By watching people, and listening to them talk, you will quickly see that God's plan has not been fully implemented, if at all…even among Christians.

Many Christian couples boast of their faith, and their commitment to Christ, yet in the home the man is weak and the woman runs the house.

Our culture doesn't see anything wrong with this, but ask yourself, "is it working?"

Our culture says that there should be no distinction between men and women, but if that way is so good, why are so many marriages failing?

Its unpopular to say the the man is the head of the house, it is much more culturally correct to call him the spiritual leader.

Well…that hasn’t worked out very well.

Relegating man to the position of merely the spiritual leader has been a disaster for marriages.

Another very important part of the headship of man, is the accountability of man.

Because man is the head, God holds him accountable…not only for himself, but for his entire house, both wife and children.

This is very serious business, and not to be taken lightly. We see an example in Adam.

After the fall, God went to Adam first. Why? Because Adam was the head.

Genesis 3:9

Genesis 3:9 NKJV

Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”

Romans 5:12

Romans 5:12 NKJV

Therefore, just as through one man sin entered the world, and death through sin, and thus death spread to all men, because all sinned—

1 Corinthians 15:21-22

1 Corinthians 15:21–22 NKJV

For since by man came death, by Man also came the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, even so in Christ all shall be made alive.

Men, as the accountable party, you need to get serious.

If God is going to hold you accountable for your entire house, then you need to step up and act like a man, be a leader.

In doing so, you must remember a couple of things.

Being the head requires the same type of sacrificial love that Jesus demonstrated.

Although Scripture places man as the head, there is no command for the man to TAKE charge.

While you should act like a leader, you should not demand submission.

The command lies with the woman to submit.

This may not seem like much, but its huge. Why? Because it places the ball in the woman's court.

It makes it voluntary by the woman, instead of forced by the man.

That may not be comfortable for some, but God will give you the strength.

Being the leader is not all fun and games, but following God's plan is necessary if your marriage is going to honor Him.

Don't wimp out, don't be weak when God has given you His strength!

If Christians are going to take a firm stand on the Word of God, it must begin at home.

If your marriage does not follow the Biblical model, then you will be less effective in other areas.

We need to begin by getting our personal lives and our marriages into the perfect will of God.

So for father’s day, resolve to be the man that God has called you to be.

Once that happens, God will be able to work through you, as a couple, in a mighty way.