Fine-Tuning Fatherhood

Ephesians 5:25-6:4

Ephesians 5:25–6:4 NLT

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body. 31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. 1 Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. 2 “Honor your father and mother.” This is the first commandment with a promise: 3 If you honor your father and mother, “things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

INTRODUCTION:

A- Illustration:

Pliny tells of the raising of one of the world’s historic obelisks. Twenty thousand workmen were to aid in raising the great stone, and great risks were involved. To make the engineer doubly responsible the anxious king devised an expedient. He ordered that the son of the engineer in charge should be bound to the apex of the obelisk. The safety of the obelisk meant the safety of the boy. The day for the raising was an anxious one for the engineer. The whole man was in the work. He looked to every detail of his best workmen. The obelisk was raised to safety and his son to life. Even so God has bound your child to every act you do and every thought you think.

TS: One of the chief ways that you and I can insure the physical and spiritual well-being of your children is to live for Christ in your everyday life. Here are a couple of biblical mandates for actions we men need to carry out.

I- FINE-TUNE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR WIFE. (Ephesians 5:25-29)

Ephesians 5:25–29 NLT

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church.

A- Make your affections for her clear.

(Ephesians 5:25)

Ephesians 5:25 NLT

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her.

(Οἱ ἄνδρες, ἀγαπᾶτε τὰς γυναῖκας, καθὼς καὶ ὁ Χριστὸς ἠγάπησεν τὴν ἐκκλησίαν καὶ ἑαυτὸν παρέδωκεν ὑπὲρ αὐτῆς,)

1- Demonstrate sacrificial love for her.

2- Set her apart from all others.

3- Support her personal growth.

a. Intellectually.

b. Spiritually.

c. emotionally

B- Make her special in her children’s eyes.

(Ephesians 5:28-30)

Ephesians 5:28–30 NLT

28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

(28 οὕτως ὀφείλουσιν καὶ οἱ ἄνδρες ἀγαπᾶν τὰς ἑαυτῶν γυναῖκας ὡς τὰ ἑαυτῶν σώματα· ὁ ἀγαπῶν τὴν ἑαυτοῦ γυναῖκα ἑαυτὸν ἀγαπᾷ, 29 οὐδεὶς γάρ ποτε τὴν ἑαυτοῦ σάρκα ἐμίσησεν, ἀλλὰ ἐκτρέφει καὶ θάλπει αὐτήν, καθὼς καὶ ὁ Χριστὸς τὴν ἐκκλησίαν, 30 ὅτι μέλη ἐσμὲν τοῦ σώματος αὐτοῦ.)

1- Take care of her physically, emotionally and spiritually.

(I Peter 3:7)

1 Peter 3:7 NLT

7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.

(Οἱ ἄνδρες ὁμοίως συνοικοῦντες κατὰ γνῶσιν, ὡς ἀσθενεστέρῳ σκεύει τῷ γυναικείῳ ἀπονέμοντες τιμήν, ὡς καὶ συγκληρονόμοις χάριτος ζωῆς, εἰς τὸ μὴ ἐγκόπτεσθαι τὰς προσευχὰς ὑμῶν.)

ἀπονέμοντες τιμήν = “show honor and respect”

κατὰ γνῶσιν = with knowledge and understanding

συγκληρονόμοις = “a joint-heir, co-inheritor”

A man's heart was heavy after hearing his wife express her struggles with self-esteem. Instead of ignoring her feelings, he chose to affirm her daily, reminding her of her strengths and beauty. As he focused on building her up, he found himself growing closer to her. This showcases that true love for one's wife is not just in words but in actions—an embodiment of Christ's love for the church that strengthens both partners. When a husband loves his wife, he ultimately loves himself as well.

II- FINE-TUNE YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHILDREN. (Ephesians 6:4)

Ephesians 6:4 NLT

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them. Rather, bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.

(Καὶ οἱ πατέρες, μὴ παροργίζετε τὰ τέκνα ὑμῶν, ἀλλὰ ἐκτρέφετε αὐτὰ ἐν παιδείᾳ καὶ νουθεσίᾳ κυρίου.)

A- Balance love with discipline.

Ephesians 6:4 NLT

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger by the way you treat them.

παροργίζετε = “‘to cause to be provoked, to make angry”

1- Avoid the extremes.

a. Don’t provoke them through the way you treat them.

(Colossians 3:21)

Colossians 3:21 NLT

21 Fathers, do not aggravate your children, or they will become discouraged.

b. Don’t fail to discipline them and ruin their lives.

(Proverbs 19:18)

Proverbs 19:18 NLT

18 Discipline your children while there is hope. Otherwise you will ruin their lives.

B- Teach and encourage your children.

Ephesians 6:4 NLT

“bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.”

παιδείᾳ = “‘to discipline, to train, discipline, training.’”

νουθεσίᾳ = “‘to instruct, to teach, instruction, teaching.’”

1- With eternity in view.

(Genesis 18:19)

Genesis 18:19 NLT

19 I have singled him out so that he will direct his sons and their families to keep the way of the Lord by doing what is right and just. Then I will do for Abraham all that I have promised.”

(Deuteronomy 4:9)

Deuteronomy 4:9 NLT

9 “But watch out! Be careful never to forget what you yourself have seen. Do not let these memories escape from your mind as long as you live! And be sure to pass them on to your children and grandchildren.

2- Teach them what to do as well as what not to do.

(Proverbs 22:6)

Proverbs 22:6 NLT

6 Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.

a. Illustration:

“Have I Ever Seen A Christian?” A father was one day teaching his little boy what manner of man a Christian is. When the lesson was finished, the father got the stab of his life, when the boy asked, “Father, have I ever seen a Christian?”

CONCLUSION:

In order to carry this out, you must fine-tune your relationship with Christ.

“Watch Your Step”

“Father, there’s a call for you; watch your step! Little eyes see all you do; watch your step! Little feet go Daddy’s way Follow you from day to day, Lead, O lead them not astray; watch your step! “Walk the safe and narrow way; watch your step! Let the children hear you pray; watch your step! Would you ways of wisdom teach; With God’s truth their young hearts reach? Then be faithful, I beseech; watch your step! “Father, near your journey’s end; watch your step! Let the Saviour be your friend; watch your step! He will guide your feet aright, To the land of pure delight; Would you walk with Him in white? Watch your step!”