Words of a Father
Notes
Transcript
Being a father and watching my children step into this phase of adulthood has given opportunity to observe the things they have learned.
Some things I thought were being taught through observation I soon realized I needed to further instruct upon...
Driving skills… / Filling up a gas tank!!!
Some things that I never really gave instruction on were caught!
Closing a flip phone… / beginning of prayers
As time goes on I will be able to see what was or was not taught AND what was or was not caught. Either for the good or the negative.
I wanted to share some statistics concerning father hood…
Fatherhood Statistics…
Fatherhood Statistics…
Statistics indicate that fathers have a significant influence on their children's faith and overall well-being. When fathers are actively involved in their children's lives and faith, it positively impacts the children's likelihood of practicing their faith, academic success, and overall life outcomes.
Children with involved fathers are more likely to get better grades and have better overall academic performance, according to Fathers in the Field.
Children in father-absent homes account for:
71% of all high school dropouts
90% of homeless and runaway children
63% of youth suicides
Children with involved fathers are less likely to use drugs or alcohol and resort to violence
80% less likely to spend time in jail
75% less likely to experience teen pregnancy
A significant percentage of children in the United States experience fatherlessness, with estimates ranging from 25% to 33%
If a father is not regularly attending church, even if the mother is, only about 1 in 5 children will become regular churchgoers.
Father's Day is statistically the Sunday with the lowest average church attendance, according to LifeWay Research Group.
TRENDS IN AMERICAN FATHERHOOD
For Father’s Day last year, Pew Research reported on trends about American dads:
More dads are staying home to care for their kids.
Dads see parenting as central to their identity.
Work-family balance is a challenge for many fathers.
Dads are much more involved in child care than they were 50 years ago.
While they’re spending more time with their children, many dads feel they’re not doing enough.
Fathers who recognize Christ as the one who laid down his life, and then submit to this Christ, prioritize the spiritual wellness of their families over their own desires. These fathers will disciple their children through Bible reading, prayer, and serving the church.
Quoted from and inspired by James Isaac Vance's Book from 1899, Royal Manhood.
"In state and church, in public and private, in work for men and work for God, the call is for men of strength: strong in purpose and strong in action; strong within and strong without; strong against foes that are seen and strong against foes that are unseen. Strength is the glory of manhood. Manhood and strength are synonymous." On the contrary, weakness in conviction, in character, in spiritual discipline, in courage, or in endeavor are the damnation of manhood. This sort of weakness begets poverty, crime, sloth, and every form of sin. "If one expects to amount to anything in life, he must be strong. Barriers are to be surmounted, discouragements silenced, temptations resisted, and for all this there is needed a manhood invincible and strong."
"The very notion of strength dictates action, it presupposes work.
Contemporary culture has minimized and marginalized the crucial role men play in the life of the family. Yet the important role of fathers in raising secure, godly, healthy, confident children cannot be overstated.
But What Does Scripture Say?
But What Does Scripture Say?
Here is the thing... I can read statistics… truth be told some are probably inaccurate (some more some less), some may or may not apply to you or me.
We are each our own man, with our own families, with our own responsibilities… I would be a fool to bring before you today a motive to engage as fathers based on statistics or relegate you to fitting into some stereotype.
Let the numbers fall where they may, YOU AND I have a responsibility to God and God alone for how we father our children, how we as a church family elevate and embrace the role of manhood and fatherhood.
Proverbs 22:6 states:
Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 is very clear:
“These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.
If we are to train, teach, instruct our children… and we want to break the mold that our culture tries to fit us into… WHERE IS A GOOD PLACE TO START???
I would like to suggest to you we consider Proverbs 4! Vance’s statement that: "The very notion of strength dictates action, it presupposes work.
Instructing our children does take action
Instructing our children takes engagement and it will be work
But the fruit of this work is such a blessing
This Proverb has three sections to it as the writer considers a Father’s Words… Proverbs 4:1-9
Hear, O sons, the instruction of a father, And give attention that you may gain understanding, For I give you sound teaching; Do not abandon my instruction. When I was a son to my father, Tender and the only son in the sight of my mother, Then he taught me and said to me, “Let your heart hold fast my words; Keep my commandments and live; Acquire wisdom! Acquire understanding! Do not forget nor turn away from the words of my mouth. “Do not forsake her, and she will guard you; Love her, and she will watch over you. “The beginning of wisdom is: Acquire wisdom; And with all your acquiring, get understanding. “Prize her, and she will exalt you; She will honor you if you embrace her. “She will place on your head a garland of grace; She will present you with a crown of beauty.”
Wisdom’s Worth
Wisdom’s Worth
Hear… did you notice that wisdom is to be spoken instruction…
What we say matters / make sure that it is “sound teaching”
Challenge your children to pay “attention” to not lose it or “abandon”
Concerning wisdom, we need to stress its importance for their lives…
This needs to be GENERATIONAL…
Solomon is sharing with his sons what his parents David & Bathsheeba instructed him! (Deuteronomy!!!)
We need to make sure these truths and the wisdom of God’s Word does not die with the next generation!
God’s Wisdom sets the foundation for ALL LIFE…
AQUIRE… this is something to be sought after
The pursuit is the beginning of wisdom
This is ongoing
Her value… like that of the pursuit of a spouse
This is not a once done type of pursuit
There is nothing greater in life than to see your children pursue wisdom
Jesus Himself embodied wisdom, We pursue the Lord and His Word we find wisdom!
Verses 8-9 give the outcome of the pursuit: exaltaion, honor, garland with grace and beauty!
Wisdom is something our children need to HEAR instructed, implement it into life conversations, point them back to the scriptures… This first section deals with our HEARTS the next deals with our HEADS… Proverbs 4:10-19
Hear, my son, and accept my sayings And the years of your life will be many. I have directed you in the way of wisdom; I have led you in upright paths. When you walk, your steps will not be impeded; And if you run, you will not stumble. Take hold of instruction; do not let go. Guard her, for she is your life. Do not enter the path of the wicked And do not proceed in the way of evil men. Avoid it, do not pass by it; Turn away from it and pass on. For they cannot sleep unless they do evil; And they are robbed of sleep unless they make someone stumble. For they eat the bread of wickedness And drink the wine of violence. But the path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, That shines brighter and brighter until the full day. The way of the wicked is like darkness; They do not know over what they stumble.
Wisdom’s Walk
Wisdom’s Walk
Once again they are to HEAR… what we are saying as fathers! as they HEAR they are challenged by us to THINK about the HOW & the WHY
We are to instruct them on the right path to take
We are not to leave their path to chance or hope they take the right one
Proverbs 3:5–6 states: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.”
We do not dare leave them to their own understanding but instruct them to what God says and His wisdom
NOTICE: we are to direct them what NOT TO DO… “do not” “do not” “avoid it” “turn away”
If we have to as fathers we express life’s dangerous paths in multiple ways and times
It is beneficial to INSTRUCT our children by saying NO!
I love that there is NOT just a “do not do this” type of statement here that says “because I said so”
Verses 16-17 give the reasoning for them to listen, to heed the “do not” phrases
Take time to let your children know the WHY to things whenever possible
Instruction without reason does not teach or train them
Allow the reason to be greater than you… this is God’s will, this is God’s Word
Verses 18-19 give good incentive as well… allow them to see and hear that wisdom lived out has good results.
First we challenge their HERAT, then their HEAD, but there is also a warning to HEED… Proverbs 4:20-27
My son, give attention to my words; Incline your ear to my sayings. Do not let them depart from your sight; Keep them in the midst of your heart. For they are life to those who find them And health to all their body. Watch over your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth And put devious speech far from you. Let your eyes look directly ahead And let your gaze be fixed straight in front of you. Watch the path of your feet And all your ways will be established. Do not turn to the right nor to the left; Turn your foot from evil.
Wisdom’s Watch!
Wisdom’s Watch!
There is an instruction to pay attention to “words” and his “sayings”…
There is a focus to guard, protect, do not be complacent
INTERESTING that the implications of guarding or WATCHING here can also point to their observance not only to our WORDS… but also to our ACTIONS
This watch we instruct them to do is taught and caught
The way you and I live out these things we are teaching will impact the next generation (generational teaching)
This means we do life with them… talk, walk, mess up, apologize, repent to the Lord, refocus
Let’s Do Life
Let’s Do Life
As dads our children need to BOTH hear wisdom taught, instruction spoken but they also need to see it lived out.
As children desire a relationship with their dads
We too should desire a relationship with our Heavenly Father
Allow our children to observe our relationship with the Lord,
Allow your children to HEAR your relationship
How you speak to the Father
Share what you love from His Word
Speak of your love and admiration of Him
Dads you are vitally needed and our children need to SEE you do life with your Heavenly Father, but they too need to HEAR what our Heavenly Father says too!
Happy Father’s Day
