Overcoming as a Father
Notes
Transcript
Every Father inherantly tries to take care of his children and raise a family that one can be proud of. I find myself struggling though to be honest. I feel some days like I knocked it out the park. Other days I feel like I want to crawl into a hole and never come out. Parenting is difficult. As a Father I am pretty predictable though. Here are 10 things that our wives and children know they will never hear us say.
9. “Well, how ‘bout that? I’m lost! Looks like we’ll have to stop and ask for directions.”
8. “You know Pumpkin, now that you’re thirteen, you’ll be ready for un-chaperoned car dates. Won’t that be fun?”
7. “I noticed that all your friends have a certain hostile attitude. I like that.”
6. “Here’s a credit card and the keys to my new car. Go crazy!!!”
5. “What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating is not good enough for you, son?”
4. “Your Mother and I are going away for the weekend. You might want to consider throwing a party.”
3. “Well, I don’t know what’s wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies—ya know—that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.”
2. “No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring. Now quit your belly-aching and let’s go to the mall.”
1. “Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.”
But what is parenting essentially? Why has God given us parenting. As I am growing as a parent I am learning that parenting is not the purpose of parenting. The purpose of parenting is to force us to live what we preach. All other relationships allow us to live one way, talk one way, act one way, then to turn around and be someone else. Parenting though does not allow this. Children watch and hear you in every aspect of your life and they expect to see you as the same person in every aspect. If your children are anything like mine they are willing to call you out when you are not living this way. So How can we overcome our dispositions as humans to be heaven guided fathers? I think as we do from week to week the best place to look is into the scriptures for the answers to this. Turn in your Bible to Luke chaper 15 verses 11-32. In this scripure we will find the “Parable of the Prodigal Son” we are going to change the name of this story today as we view it from a different aspect. Today we will see this as the “True story of a loving Father”. In this scripture this morning we will see 3 things that are marks of a heaven guided father. First we will see that Heaven guided Fathers overcome with approachability. Second, we will see that Heaven guided Fathers overcome with affection. Lastly we will see that Heaven guided Fathers overcome with Love.
11 And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. 13 Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. 14 And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. 15 So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. 16 And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 “But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! 18 I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.” ’ 20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.
25 “Now his older son was in the field, and as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 And he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant. 27 And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf, because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 But he was angry and refused to go in. His father came out and entreated him, 29 but he answered his father, ‘Look, these many years I have served you, and I never disobeyed your command, yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might celebrate with my friends. 30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ 31 And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’ ”
Fathers overcome with Approachability
Fathers overcome with Approachability
11 And he said, “There was a man who had two sons. 12 And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them.
What we see here in this scripture is that there is an approachability between the father and his children. As we know this father in the story is our Father in Heaven. We are called to display this same approachability with our families and children. If I said I had this figured out I would be a liar. Many times I find that my children do not feel completely comfortable with approaching me. In this scripture we find a young man who is approaching his father about something that is not acceptable. The Prodigal son was approaching his father and saying to him. I do not want to be under your authority. I do not want to be under your expectations. I want to live my own life and do my own thing. Becoming successful is not enough for me I want to be my own person away from you. Could you imagine the immense pain this must have caused the father? This says something obviously about the son, it also says something very important about the Father. He was approachable. A father who overcomes is an approachable father. What does this mean to be an approachable father?
A zero-tolerance policy for mistakes at work is detrimental to the team. While
most companies would never implement such a strategy, many managers create
an environment like that in the way they react to their employees’ mistakes. If a
manager wants to cultivate a culture of change, he or she will need to reward
those employees who recognize their mistakes, bring them to the boss’s
attention, and eagerly seek to learn from them. God’s approach toward his
people empowers us to approach him with humble confidence. We can
acknowledge our sins and trust that he will be faithful to forgive and restore us.
What are the marks of an approachable fahter?
a. First an approachable Father Listens.- When you listen to your child you are subconsciously telling that child that he is important. There is nothing more encouragning to a child- preschooler or teenager- than to have his/her fathers undivided attenteion when they are speaking.
Our Father is a Father who listens.
14 And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.
17 I cried to him with my mouth,
and high praise was on my tongue.
18 If I had cherished iniquity in my heart,
the Lord would not have listened.
19 But truly God has listened;
he has attended to the voice of my prayer.
20 Blessed be God,
because he has not rejected my prayer
or removed his steadfast love from me!
7 casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.
b. approachable fathers understand- We have all been misunderstood. Children do not want to be misunderstood. It is a lousy feeling to be misunderstood. Fathers must understand where their children are coming from and what they are saying. If you do not understand it you must take time to ask questions and to really understand how they are feeling.
Our Father understands us
15 For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. 16 Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
1 O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
2 You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
you discern my thoughts from afar.
13 And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account.
The Overcoming father is approachable. They listen to thier childrent intently and seek to understand their hearts. This Father looked past the disrespect and the hurt and spent time to understand why his son wanted to go out on his own and to listen to the request of his child. We do not have to agree with our children, we do need to be fathers who listen and seek to understand. God does this every day for us. God understands us and He listens to us. The Faithful Father was not just approachable he was affectionate.
Fathers Overcome with Affection
Fathers Overcome with Affection
20 And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. 21 And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ 22 But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. 23 And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. 24 For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.
This father had just experienced something that was life altering. His son came and demanded his inheratance and wanted to leave his fathers home. Not only this, his son left and wasted away all that he had worked so hard for over the years. This child then came back and before he could even get to the house the father ran out and embraced him and kissed him. Why is this important? This is important first because it shows that the father did not care what anyone else thought. Everyone around town knew what his son did and knew how his son went and wasted everything and how he had embarassed his father. What would you have done? I know that if I was anything like I am with my kids most the time, I would have said well you wanted that, you have to live with your choices. As I was studying and preparing for this message I found myself under great conviction. I say this to my children from time time time. How hippocritical of me is that? How many times does God hold me to that standard? When I was far off God ran to me and He hugged me and kissed me and called for the best robe for me. My heavenly father did not make me live with my choices but instead He forgave me and never even said a word about it! Affection is important. It tells our children that they matter to us! When you take time to hug and to kiss your kids you are taking the time to tell them that they matter and even when they get embarassed about it they value those moments. Are you affectionate with your children? The affection of a parent is an acceptance of that child. When is the last time you really hugged or kissed your child? Often times we get older and we think that our children do not need this from us. They do. We have a heavenly Father who is affectionate with us and wants the world to see His love for us. Fathers who overcome and are great fathers are affectionate.
I loved my father, he was not a perfect man but he was a good man. He had plenty of shortcomings but he also had some great things about him. As I grew older I realized how much he knew. When my dad was diagnosed with cancer, his death was not even a concern of mine. Not because I had this overwehlming faith in God but becasue at that time I believed that my dad was the strongest person on the planet. I believed he could whip it and never deal with it again. This changed as I grew older and learned more about the cancer he had. I remember though that my dad was not an overly affectionate man. I never doubted his love for me but standing here today, dang do I wish we would have had more hugs. My dad was awkward when it came to the hugs and kisses. I remember I used to make him uncomfortable when I hugged him becuase I would kiss him on the cheek and that would annoy him. I am not sure why he was that way but I look back on the last time I saw my dad. I leaned down to hug him and give him a kiss and he pushed to the side because he did not want me to kiss him on the cheek. I will never forget that hug. I will always wish I had more and I have to believe that if he knew how much I would wish for another hug from my dad, he would have hugged me more.
Affection of fathers is needed by their children. It can feel awkward and out of place at times, especially when children grow up and get older. Hug your kids. When you do this it is llke the prodigal son. The hug from a parent is acceptance. This father was afectionate and accepted his child regardless of what anyone else thought about his son. He was happy to have his son back. Our father is affectionate with us.
11 For you know how, like a father with his children, 12 we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory.
15 Yet the Lord set his heart in love on your fathers and chose their offspring after them, you above all peoples, as you are this day.
Fathers who overcome are approachable, and affectionate. They above all else though overcome with Love.
Fathers overcome with Love
Fathers overcome with Love
30 But when this son of yours came, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him!’ 31 And he said to him, ‘Son, you are always with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 It was fitting to celebrate and be glad, for this your brother was dead, and is alive; he was lost, and is found.’ ”
Above all else this Father was loving of his child. Nothing that this son did removed the fathers love for him. Let’s be honest in this room today. We are all going to fail, we will make mistakes and our children will be mad at us, not like us for times of their lives, and some of it will be becasue of our own mistakes. Our children though should never have to question if their father loves them. Above all else we shuold love our children. The Father loves us with a passion that is unrivaled. It did not matter that his son had squandered his inheritance or made an embarasment of his family name. The Father was more excited to have this relationship restored than anything else. Some in here have strained relationships with their children over things. Drop it, go and love your children and be more excited about a restored relationship than you are about the things that quite honestly you cannot take to the new heaven and earth with you. Some in here have strained relatiionships because of embarassment of choices your children have made. Drop it, restore the relationship and be more concerned with the relationship than you are the embarasment that you may have been caused. Our Heavenly father loves us
A certain medieval monk announced he would be preaching next Sunday evening on "The Love of God." As the shadows fell and the light ceased to come in through the cathedral windows, the congregation gathered. In the darkness of the altar, the monk lighted a candle and carried it to the crucifix. First of all, he illumined the crown of thorns, next, the two wounded hands, then the marks of the spear wound. In the hush that fell, he blew out the candle and left the chancel. There was nothing else to say.
It did not matter what we had done. God was willing to do anything to chase after us. No matter what our children do, how they treat us, what they may say, we are called to live like God and seek a restored relationship. These are the things that God does for us and calls us to do for our children. The life of a Father should mirror the love of God. I seek for my children to love the Lord but to do that I must be a better example of the love of God to them. The Scriptures tell us of the Fathers love for us.
8 but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
17 The Lord your God is in your midst,
a mighty one who will save;
he will rejoice over you with gladness;
he will quiet you by his love;
he will exult over you with loud singing.
3 the Lord appeared to him from far away.
I have loved you with an everlasting love;
therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you.
We have a Father who is approachable, we have a Father who is affectionate, and we have a Father who above all else displays his love for us. Are you a Father who seeks to overcome this world and deliver to your children an image of God? You must live these things. Our Father wants us to know at our weakest we can count on Him.
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
