Forgiveness All Around
Notes
Transcript
We return this week to the prayer that Jesus taught us commonly referred to as the Lords Prayer.
Thus far we’ve prayed: Matt 6:9-11
Our Father in heaven,
hallowed be your name.
Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
We’ve addressed to whom it is we’re praying, we’ve made four requests thus far:
May your name be holy - and we spoke about how that means as Christians we represent the family name well.
Your kingdom come - your heavenly kingdom come to this earth
You will be done - may you reign here as you do in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread - provide for us what we need for today, and we spoke about staying in the present.
Now we get to what I believe is the most difficult part of the prayer for most of us in the fifth petition.
and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors.
At first glance this translation seems to be regarding finances. Perhaps you learned it in the King James where it reads:
“Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.”
Which in today’s english sounds a bit like “Get off my lawn.”
Sometimes it’s helpful to compare different translations.
Here we have four translations compared side by side of this verse. ESV = English Standard Version, NIV = New International Version, CJB = Complete Jewish Bible, MSG = Eugene Peterson’s The Message.
What we notice is ESV and NIV use the same words, and the CJB gives us some new insight in that it simply refers to debts as our wrongs. The Message gives us yet another insight in that it speaks of the status of our forgiveness and our action of forgiving.
Forgiveness is hard
Forgiveness is hard
I don’t think there is one person here that doesn’t realize that. Forgiveness for you and I brings into the situation our emotions and our hurt.
The challenge for all of us is the choice that lies in front of us when we’ve been wronged. The choice is to process the wrong and intentionally move towards forgiveness, OR to hold on to the pain, and the anger, and the hurt.
Perhaps you don’t WANT to forgive. I get it. The Pain, the Hurt is real! An anger burns within us and the truth is we need to acknowledge all of it.
There are people who think that forgiveness means allowing yourself to be a doormat and to just let people walk all over you. That’s not the kind of forgiveness that Jesus calls us to give. Others hold to the idea that unless a person apologizes and is genuinely sorry for how they’ve wronged them there will be no forgiveness extended.
How often do we hold on to a hurt of which the person who hurt us has no knowledge? How often do we hurt others unintentionally? A little bit of self-reflection will help us extend forgiveness more readily.
Forgiveness is hard, and…
Forgiveness is costly
Forgiveness is costly
There are those who seem to think that forgiveness ought to be automatic. Perhaps you’ve heard someone comment, “You’re a Christian, aren’t you supposed to forgive?” As if that gives them license to be offensive towards without repercussions. Perhaps we bear those wounds. There is always a cost to forgiveness whether it is ours or God’s.
We’ve all heard the phrase:
Forgive and Forget?
Forgive and Forget?
It’s not true. Forgiving someone doesn’t mean forgetting nor excusing the harm, injury, or slight you’ve received. Forgiving doesn’t mean that you and the person who hurt you will be back as if nothing happened.
You’ve no doubt also heard the phrase, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.”
The thing about forgiveness that is beneficial for us is that it brings about a peace that allows us to move forward. Holding on to a hurt or grudge only anchors us and gets us stuck where we are.
There may be times when you need help processing a hurt or emotional wound someone has given you. It’s not a shameful thing to seek out help in working through the forgiveness process. I encourage you to do so if you find yourself holding on to pain from your past.
When we ask for forgiveness…
When we ask for forgiveness…
I’m sure most of us have seen a child prompted by an adult to apologize and what they got was a very half-hearted, “I’m sorry.” It sounded more like defeat. We know it’s not genuine, inf fact we may know that they’re not sorry about the hurt they caused the other, they’re only sorry they got caught.
Perhaps you’ve heard of the 4 R’s of forgiveness:
Responsibility
Acknowledging our actions and the hurt they caused is the first step. We must acknowledge our action and accept accountability without excuses.
2. Remorse
Allow ourself to feel the genuine pain and sorrow for the harm caused by our actions. Too even be angry at ourselves for what we’ve done. Regret what you’ve done.
3. Restoration
Take steps to make amends and repair the damage caused whether through apologies or corrective actions.
4. Renewal
Commit to personal growth and change, using the experience as an opportunity to learn and become a better version of yourself.
So when we ask another person or even our God to forgive us, we need to think through these four steps:
4 R’s of forgiveness:
Responsibility
Remorse
Restoration
Renewal
When We Forgive…
When We Forgive…
When it comes to forgiving another person we need to recognize
Forgiveness is a choice
Forgiveness is not about excusing or condoning the harmful act or forgetting the pain it caused. It's an intentional decision to release the resentment and anger associated with the offense and move forward with life.
Acknowledging and processing pain
Genuine forgiveness involves acknowledging and feeling the pain, hurt, and anger that arise from being wronged. Ignoring or suppressing these emotions will likely prevent true forgiveness and healing.
Acceptance vs. forgiveness
Acceptance can be a step towards forgiveness, where one acknowledges what has happened and moves out of judgment about it. Forgiveness, however, goes beyond mere acceptance and involves actively letting go of the need for vengeance or retribution.
Focus on your healing
Ultimately, forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. By accepting the pain and choosing to forgive, you free yourself from the emotional burden of negativity and allow yourself to heal and reclaim your well-being.
Psychological benefits
Letting go of grudges and bitterness can lead to reduced stress, anxiety, and depression, improving both mental and physical health.
Discipleship Chapter Twelve: The Saints
By forgiving one another in brotherly and sisterly love, Christians make room for forgiveness by Jesus within their community. They no longer see the other as the one who has harmed them, but as the one for whom Christ has interceded on the cross pleading for forgiveness. They encounter one another as those who have been sanctified by the cross of Christ.
As we close out this discussion on forgiving I’m reminded of Jesus words just after this prayer:
For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Again, trespasses is not “Get off my lawn”, but it is wrongs done. Here it is again in the Complete Jewish Bible
For if you forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you; but if you do not forgive others their offenses, your heavenly Father will not forgive yours.
And the Message:
“In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can’t get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God’s part.
Paul reminds us that even before we asked for forgiveness, while we were still sinful God made the way:
but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Before any act of contrition, and act of repentence the price was being paid.
We read in Romans 12:19-20
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.”
A word of caution here, if you’re being nice to someoen wo has wronged you simply so God will “heap burning coals on his head” you’re heart is still vengeful - but the Lord says, vengeance belongs to him.
In closing, I want to say one thing about being reconciled with our sisters and brothers in Christ. Jesus says earlier in this sermon he’s giving on the mount,
So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.
Let us be reconciled one to another. Let me pray for you and for us.
