The Good Father

Introduction: Is there anyone here who didn’t have a father? If you say that you didn’t have a father your probably wrong. According to the definition of a father the man only has to be there to provide genetic material for conception.

Some of you may have said you didn’t have a father because you didn’t have a good father, he wasn’t around, maybe he was cold and distant, he drank to much, beat you or he did worse than that.

But some of you may have had great fathers, godly men who did their best to raise you to be godly people. They were there for you when you needed them, they cared for you, spent time with you, led your family well, loved your mother and was a good role model for you to emulate.

The spectrum of fathers is very large. Ranging from not present to very good. But there is one Father that all of us can try to emulate. He is the one Good Father. He is Father God. The passage for this morning is a parable about a father and his two sons. The title of the parable is the prodigal son. But we are going to look at it this morning from the view point of the father, so maybe today we will call it the parable of the father with prodigal sons.

I’m going to break the passage up as we look at the different characters and the parts they play in the story. So we will be looking at Luke 15:11-32.

So let’s begin by taking a look at the:

Two Sons

i. First there’s the Younger son. Luke 15:11-19

Luke 15:11–19 NASB95

11 And He said, “A man had two sons. 12 “The younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of the estate that falls to me.’ So he divided his wealth between them. 13 “And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living. 14 “Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished. 15 “So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16 “And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him. 17 “But when he came to his senses, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! 18 ‘I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men.” ’

The Younger son, who is known as the prodigal son, wanted out - Animals and farming weren’t his thing. He wanted bigger things from life and he thought he would find them in a distant land. The ultimate prodigal son. He doesn’t want a relationship with his father, he just wants his own life and he’ll leave home to get it.

ii. If there is a younger son there must be and Older son. Luke 15:25-30

Luke 15:25–30 NASB95

25 “Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 “And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. 27 “And he said to him, ‘Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.’ 28 “But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him. 29 “But he answered and said to his father, ‘Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends; 30 but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.’

The older son hung around - He’s the eldest it’s his place to make sure everything is going well. It doesn’t hurt that he will inherit the greater share of the fortune. He lived in the house he did the work requested of him, he never did anything wrong. Always the good son. But, ultimately he complained about the younger brothers choices and the fact that the father never provided for him. Not even one little goat to have a barbeque with his friends. There is a lot of jealousy on the part of the older brother.

The thing is he’s as much a prodigal son as his younger brother. He’s lost on his own trip right there at home. He thinks he has a relationship with the father, but he is only doing the work so he can get what he deserves in the end. His father is available but he doesn’t seem to be taking advantage of his presence.

And then there is the Father. Luke 15:22-24

Luke 15:22–24 NASB95

22 “But the father said to his slaves, ‘Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; 23 and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24 for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’ And they began to celebrate.

i. The father let the one go - He split the wealth. He gave it to his son and let him go. The son wasn’t happy there. Sometimes you have to let them go and make their own mistakes. We can’t hold on to them - even if you know it won’t go well.

Leaving wasn’t the big insult here. One responsibility as a father is to prepare our children for life and to launch them into the world. Genesis 2:24 says:

Genesis 2:24 NASB95

24 For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

The children are supposed to leave. But in this case the son wanted his share of the inheritance. When do you get the inheritance? Generally when the parents die. The son was saying to his father you are dead to me. I don’t want any part of you. I want my own life and want to live it on my own terms - not on yours. Ouch. I can understand wanting to get out of the house, I didn’t want to stay either. But to tell my father he was dead to me - that would have been cold.

ii. For the older brother the father was always there, always available. He gave access to everything to his oldest son. He held nothing back. But there was still something not right in the older sons heart. Maybe his discission to split the estate had something to do with it. Maybe the wealth meant more to the son than the father did. Luke 15:31-32

Luke 15:31–32 NASB95

31 “And he said to him, ‘Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours. 32 ‘But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.’ ”

iii. Ultimately the father provided for both of his sons. By splitting the wealth he did a completely unconventional thing. He sent his youngest son off with the means to make good, but… he didn’t. For the older brother he had everything he needed right there on the ranch. All he had to do was ask.… How often do we act like the older brother, the Father is willing to give us everything, but we forget to ask.

So what was the outcome of the story?

Well, in time the younger son came back. He came back broken and hoping to get a job as a hired hand. The father had compassion on him, put a robe on him, rings on his fingers and slaughtered the fattened calf to hold a grand feast because the son that was dead was now alive and home again. Did you catch that bit in verse 24? “24 for this son of mine was dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.’ And they began to celebrate.” The son was dead to the father just like the father had been dead to the son. Remember the inheritance thing? The son wasn’t dead to the father because he went away. The son was dead to the father because he took the inheritance and ran. When the son said the father was dead to him he was also saying that he is dead to his father. The love of the father. Accept him back anyway. No conditions, no demands, no questions, just forgiveness.

ii. During all of this time as he watched for his youngest son to return he cared for the older son. But ultimately he had to go out and beg for the older son to come to the party. All that time the older son was there working, expecting to get the whole ranch. Now the prodigal is back and the father accepts him back, even after everything he has done. The disgrace, the shame the younger son brought on the family, not to mention the slap in the face he gave his father. How could he take him back after all of that? That’s not very fair. Prodigal to end. Even though the father has provided everything for him all along. The older brother has no compassion, no forgiveness, no acceptance.

So what does this have to do with the father?

2. Well, there are certain things that Children want and need from a Father. Did the father in this parable provide them? Here is a list of some of those things.

a. First of all fathers need to Love sacrificially. Fathers need to be willing to give up some of what they want for the children. It describes actions or behavior where something is willingly relinquished or endured for the benefit of others especially the children. Did the father in the parable love his children sacrificially?

b. Fathers need to Lead courageously. To lead courageously the father must be walking with God, communicating well, setting examples, fostering unity and setting boundaries which are enforced. Lead well and the family will follow and prosper, lead poorly and the family will be a mess. Did the father Lead well?

c. A father must Prepare his children for life - life on their own. Generally, we only have our children for a small part of their lives. At this point in my life I have been on my own for more than twice the amount of time I lived with my parents. And a good part of that was just learning the bear necessities. The better prepared they are when they are off on their own the better they can manage on their own. What about the father? One took off and didn’t live well, and the other - didn’t leave and had an attitude.

d. Fathers, Men, there is no getting around this one, we have to Depend on God. Fathering children is a big task. One that can only be done well when God is a part of the process. So don’t leave Him out. Invite Him in and do it right. Where was God with the father in our parable?

So here are some other things children need.

e. They need Love and affection. How many of you had fathers that were distant and cold? Love and affection are crucial for a child’s healthy development, fostering secure attachment, mental well-being, and overall happiness. Some good ways to show love and affection are - verbal expressions (I love you), appropriate physical affection, quality time, active listening - and sometimes you need to let your actions speak louder than your words. Ultimately you need to love your children unconditionally.

f. They need Guidance and discipline. Appropriate discipline which includes mercy so they can see how the mercy of our heavenly Father works. Proverbs 3:12 says:

Proverbs 3:12 NASB95

12 For whom the Lord loves He reproves, Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights.

g. They need you to Be a role model. Especially when it comes to relationships. They need to see what healthy relationships look like and how to foster them.

h. They need your presence and quality time. It’s great that your bringing in the big bucks but if they never see you and they have no good time with you then all you are is a pay check.

i. Finally they need Affirmation and support. They need to know that you care, that you see them and accept them and they need your support. Go to the dance recitals, the ball games, the track meets or what ever activity they participate in. Fathers and grandfathers should be the biggest cheer leaders in the life of their children.

How about these items. Did the father in the parable do a good job? Maybe, maybe not. Sometimes it doesn’t matter, Sometimes we can do all that we can and the child still goes a different way despite what we do or don’t do. They are still going to want to take the money and run.

So now we get to the good Father. In other words:

3. Our Heavenly Father Matthew 23:9

So here’s the problem with father’s day. We aren’t supposed to call anyone on earth our father. Matthew 23:9 says:

Matthew 23:9 NASB95

9 “Do not call anyone on earth your father; for One is your Father, He who is in heaven.

Maybe we should call it daddy’s day. Our Father is in Heaven and no one here on earth should be taking His place. The English definition of father is rather simple. A man in relation to his child or children. This definition points to a relationship. It doesn’t even have enough information to say what kind of relationship it is. It could be referring to the fact that the man caused the pregnancy all the way up to being there at all times and in all ways. The point to this verse; God is our Father, He is all that a Father should be. We shouldn’t replace Him as our Father with anyone else. No human can fill the role as Father. It’s like taking a stone, giving it a face and calling it God.

So, there are three things that God does as our Father that we men should try to do but often are unable. They are Love sacrificially, Love unconditionally and forgive completely.

a. To love sacrificially we have to be willing to put aside stuff for ourselves and do what is best for our children. We have a lot of demands that must be filled. Beginning with work and ending with stuff we want to do. Something has to give. If we miss work we miss out on the income we need to support our family. What to do, what to do… that is almost always the question. When we are constantly trying to reconcile all of the demands we have to take care of; the Good Father is busy at work.

The Good Father always loves us sacrificially. He will always do what is best for us. He proved His sacrificial love towards us by sending His only begotten Son to save us from sin and death. John 3:16-17 says:

John 3:16–17 NASB95

16 “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life. 17 “For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.

Jesus Christ died, the just for the unjust. He died that we might be saved. God sacrificed His Son for all those who believe that we might have eternal life. Without this one great act of sacrificial love we would have no hope in the world. We would all be doomed to perish and be eternally separated from God. There is no greater love than this.

And our love while sacrificial must be unconditional.

b. To love unconditionally we must be able to put aside what we want so that it doesn’t get in the way. To love unconditionally you must put aside any desire that will require something in return for your love. Things like I will love you as long as you don’t gain a bunch of weight, or I will love you as long as you please me, or I will love you as long as you stay healthy. I’ll love you if.… You put in the ending phrase. The words don’t even have to be spoken, they can just be an expectation that isn’t met somewhere along the way.

But the Good Father isn’t like this. No conditions, just grace. He doesn’t say I’ll love you if you stop sinning, or I’ll love you if you start teaching Sunday School or I’ll love you if.… What do you think He wants you to do to earn His love? How much will it take? How long will it take?

If you think His love is conditional for some reason then it is time to let go and let Him wrap you up in His arms just like an earthly dad should do. His grace and forgiveness are bigger than anything we can or can’t do for Him.

And that leads us to the last big point.

c. He Forgives unconditionally. 1 John 1:9 says:

1 John 1:9 NASB95

9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

If... we confess. We have to take the first step. He will forgive us of our sins, if we confess. The idea here is that He will stop taking offense at what we have done or holding it against us. He cleans the slate. He doesn’t hold anything against us as long as we confess it.

It doesn’t say that he will forgive one sin and not another. There isn’t a list of sins that are forgivable or not forgivable. There is just forgiveness according to the vastness of God’s mercy and grace. The greater the transgression the greater the grace.

Exit: The Father in the parable loved his sons sacrificially. He was willing to split his wealth early and let the younger son go at the same time he continued to care for the older son without limits. He loved them unconditionally because he placed no expectations on either of them. No demands to control the younger son as he sent him off and none on the older son as he continued to share all that he had with him. And he forgave both of them unconditionally. When the younger son returned from his time in a distant land he didn’t send him to the slaves quarters and treat him like a slave. He treated him like the son that he was - a beloved son. And he forgave the older son of his pride and selfishness as he tried to get him to come to the party and accept his brother back into the family.

We all have or had an earthly Dad. Some of us had a good one, some not so good and some that haven’t been much at all. But we all can have a heavenly Father. We can all turn to Him and expect to be loved sacrificially, loved unconditionally and forgiven unconditionally. Just call upon the name of Jesus Christ and you too will be removed from the kingdom of darkness and transferred to the Kingdom of light.

The children of God have the Good Father. The father that we earthly dads can only try to be like. So for those of you who are dads, grandads or if you want to be a dad in the future try to be like the one Good Father.