6/15/25 Biblical Manhood
Father's Day • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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In 2015 GQ magazine published an article about men crying.
It was a funny article on when men are allowed to cry in public
listing several rules that I thought I would pass along to the men in the congregation today
#1 It’s Ok to cry if you are in extreme pain
Like, say, if a piano were dropped from a fifth-story window onto your foot.
#2 You May Cry If Someone Is Literally Shooting at You
if you’re in a situation where a lot of scary dudes are shooting at you,
bombing you,
or otherwise trying to murder you,
you have carte blanche to cry at will.
...But Not If Someone Is Fake Shooting at You
For Example if you’ve invested almost five daylight hours in this Call of Duty game,
and it really, really stinks when you get killed off by an expertly tossed hand grenade.
But you may not cry.
Under No Circumstances Should You Ever Weep Over...
Your reflection in the mirror
Any catalog or magazine
pizza-delivery fail
There Is Crying in Baseball
If...and only if...you’re actually one of the athletes playing in the game.
And even then, only if you win.
Much as it stinks to lose something really important to you,
and much as a good cry might feel cathartic in the moment,
you will regret the visual evidence that gets preserved for eternity on the Internet.
And if you’re just a fan, the rule here is much simpler: never.
But If You Don’t Get Misty-Eyed at Toy Story 3 or Ole Yeller, You Are a Monster
However, there are limits to what counts as art.
Never, Ever Cry at Work
Exceptions made for actors.
It’s Almost Weird If You Don’t Cry the First Time You Hold Your Newborn Baby
This is a once-in-a-lifetime experience!
Even Channing Tatum admitted to
running tearfully out of the delivery room four separate times when his wife was in labor.
But It’s Definitely Weird If You Cry During a Fight
Sorry, guys, but crying during an argument is kind of a woman’s thing.
Maybe that’s horrible and patriarchal, but it’s true.
It’s up to you to keep it together.
Scientific fact! Women have shallower tear ducts.
There you go and I hope that helps.
This is coming from the man that literally cries at everything.
This morning we aren’t going to just celebrate Father’s
much like Mother’s Day
I want to celebrate manhood for all men
and being one, I have better credibility to speak on this subject
more than I did on Biblical Womanhood
One of the most used verses for men’s ministry
Comes from Proverbs 27:17
As iron sharpens iron, So a man sharpens the countenance of his friend.
In other words when you put two pieces of steel together
friction produces heat and sparks are going to fly
but in the end, they become of better use.
so let’s let the sparks fly this morning
The current state of our world speaks about things of men like
toxic masculinity, gender neutrality, bullying, the #meetoo movement
There was an effort yesterday to show there are no kings
and I would agree with that except
yesterday was not independence day
and there are no kings but Jesus.
I understand what people were trying to say.
You would have to admit
there is a cultural push to emasculate men in the world
to remove even any kind of masculinity
One of the favorite buzz words used in our culture today is the phrase, “toxic masculinity.”
This is the idea that to be a man is to be toxic.
It is the idea that we must, in our understanding and according to our own pleasures and lusts,
redefine what it means to be a man.
In fact, that line of reasoning, taken to its inevitable conclusions
is that gender, that is being male or female,
is nothing but a social construct or social labels put upon us by our oppressors,
therefore, manhood and womanhood should be thrown off entirely.
And so we are told that by culture
we should recreate ourselves into whatever we want to be.
We can have our own pronouns
or whatever labels you would choose to have.
Make yourself according to your own image and after your own likeness.
Be your own god.
And start by either redefining masculinity or femininity to whatever suites your fancy.
Or, better yet throw off the oppressive labels altogether and be whatever makes you happy.
Friends, the Bible has a different message.
And not surprisingly, the message of God’s Word
tells the exact opposite of the message of our culture.
Why? Because the message of our world
is a message corrupted by sinful rebellion
and by Satan himself.
When God made mankind he made us male and female.
Equal in terms of our essence, but different in terms of our function.
I read just this morning in my quiet time
did you know that Jesus prayed for you specifically?
Jesus prays for Himself in John 17:6-11
Then He prays for his disciples in John 17:12-19
Then He prays for believers around the world.
that’s a whole different sermon
but listen to what Jesus prayed for you and for me
“I pray not only for these, but also for those who believe in me through their word.
May they all be one (Unity), as you, Father, are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us (connected), so that the world may believe you sent me.
So we are to be different than the world
by staying connected to the Father
and by being unified in Jesus
Who is in the Father
So, If we are honest with ourselves
the problems with men and manhood today
are because men are bad at being what God designed them to be
because we are not connected to God
and because we are not unified together in God.
Instead of being separate from the world
we have adapted to the culture of the world.
If we can get the biblical foundation right about manhood
Being connected with the Father
and being unified together in Jesus
The rest can work itself out as friends, fathers, brothers, uncles, and all the rest.
We’ll never be liked by the world
but unified in the Father and with each other
God can do amazing things through us.
I wanted to get some experts wisdom on manhood.
I was led to two different sources to look at this morning
The first, is someone we all know
I have been wanting to get this man on recording for a while now.
Finally the perfect storm came together
and I was able to record this on video.
VIDEO: JUST KORNEGAY
Realizing that you probably don’t need any more penguins
we chose to get you one more.
This is a penguin flying an airplane to add to your collection
Happy 101st birthday Mr. Justin!
I mentioned two sources
The second source we are going to briefly look over
is the life of a true man from scripture, Jesus.
Here’s the thing about this
Both Mr. Justin and Jesus have the same answers.
When we look at the life of Jesus
I’m going to hit the highlights of His manhood
so we have something to aspire to
Two Greatest Commandments
Two Greatest Commandments
It says this in Matthew 22:36-40
“Teacher, which command in the law is the greatest?”
He said to him, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
This is the greatest and most important command.
The second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.
All the Law and the Prophets depend on these two commands.”
The two greatest commands are all about loving God and loving others
These two great commands
make the foundation of what biblical manhood should be
They can be divided into two different parts
Godliness and Servanthood
Connection with God
Unity with each other
These two commands of God
make up the bulk of what a biblical man should be.
We get these two right
and the rest fall into place
Let’s start with Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
Paul in 1 Timothy uses godliness as the main theme of this letter to his mentee
1 Timothy 4:6-7 shares the main point of godliness
Paul is instructing Timothy that people will eventually move away from the true faith of Christianity.
and He instructs Timothy to teach things of God
and then he says this
If you point these things out to the brothers and sisters, you will be a good servant of Christ Jesus, nourished by the words of the faith and the good teaching that you have followed.
But have nothing to do with pointless and silly myths. Rather, train yourself in godliness.
Godliness
Godliness
What is godliness?
The easy answer is
Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.
The question then is how?
How do we connect with God?
This comes through discipline and making choices.
there are a ton of spiritual disciplines
let me focus on two
Prayer and Bible intake
There were times in the life of Jesus when He would disappear from the crowds to recharge so to speak.
There are 25 different times recorded in the Bible
that Jesus went to pray.
He would pray in the morning
He would pray throughout the day
He would break away from the crowds and pray
But the news about him spread even more, and large crowds would come together to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses.
Yet he often withdrew to deserted places and prayed.
If Jesus needed to withdraw and pray
what makes us think we can do anything without Him?
I am the vine; you are the branches. The one who remains in me and I in him produces much fruit, because you can do nothing without me.
Notice the best advice that Mr Justin would give himself was
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be provided for you.
and the worst advice?
“take for granted that you know all things”
or assume that you know everything.
Go to God first
I was reading in 1 Kings 22 the story of Ahab and Jehoshaphat
Ahab wanted to go to war with the Arameans
He asked the king of Judah, Jehoshaphat for help
King Jehoshaphat, before giving an answer said this
So he asked Jehoshaphat, “Will you go with me to fight Ramoth-gilead?” Jehoshaphat replied to the king of Israel, “I am as you are, my people as your people, my horses as your horses.”
But Jehoshaphat said to the king of Israel, “First, please ask what the Lord’s will is.”
The king wasn’t going to war unless He had an answer from God.
How many of us make decisions
without ever going to God for His answer?
Even little decisions need to be taken to the Lord.
Jesus said this about the little things.
Whoever is faithful in very little is also faithful in much, and whoever is unrighteous in very little is also unrighteous in much.
Godliness is all about submitting to God
going to God first
making the choice to spend time with God
before we do anything on our own power
or without ever seeking Him
That’s the short answer of how to love the Lord God.
The second part of Jesus commands is to love your neighbor as yourself.
that’s called servanthood
Servanthood
Servanthood
when I say the word love
It actually means serving sacrificially
Jesus isn’t concerned about making a show of His service
He also isn’t interested in those that believe, but do nothing
After Jesus triumphantly enters into Jerusalem in John
and the crowds surrounded Him
Jesus began teaching about what He is to do next.
He predicts His crucifixion in John 12:23-28
He shares his true feeling with them John 12:27
He shares that He will glorify God also in John 12:27
He shares about the judgment of the world John 12:30-36
And after doing all these miracles
and after having had a crowd of people follow Him into Jerusalem
Here is what John 12:37 says
Even though he had performed so many signs in their presence, they did not believe in him.
John 12:38-41 shares about the prophesy from Isaiah
that foretold that this would happen
Then it says in John 12:41-43
Isaiah said these things because he saw his glory and spoke about him.
Nevertheless, many did believe in him even among the rulers, but because of the Pharisees they did not confess him, so that they would not be banned from the synagogue.
For they loved human praise more than praise from God.
Jesus would then begin to share about the judgment of those that would not follow the commands of God in John 12:44-50
Jesus cried out, “The one who believes in me believes not in me, but in him who sent me.
And the one who sees me sees him who sent me.
I have come as light into the world, so that everyone who believes in me would not remain in darkness.
If anyone hears my words and doesn’t keep them, I do not judge him; for I did not come to judge the world but to save the world.
The one who rejects me and doesn’t receive my sayings has this as his judge: The word I have spoken will judge him on the last day.
For I have not spoken on my own, but the Father himself who sent me has given me a command to say everything I have said.
I know that his command is eternal life. So the things that I speak, I speak just as the Father has told me.”
Here’s the point
What Jesus is pointing out is
it’s one thing to believe in Jesus
It’s entirely another thing to put your life out there to confess who He is.
These people were afraid of losing their place in the synagogue
so they kept their mouth shut
and they kept their lives from ever reflecting about who Jesus was.
Jesus says in John 12:44-50 that
Jesus isn’t going to judge you for not reflecting Him in your lives
but the Father will judge your life against the commands that the Father gives
so if we can’t follow the two greatest commands of the Father
love God and love others
we will face judgment.
In other words,
one of the greatest traits of any man, or anyone for that matter
is serving God and serving others.
Want to be a Biblical man?
Serve other people
Want to prove you are a follower of Christ?
Serve others.
When Mr. Justin said he felt like he had been a deacon all his life
the word deacon is actually a Greek word
it means to serve.
He didn’t have to have the title to serve
but he was serving
He served this country in WW2
He served the church since before he could remember
and long before I was even alive
He served his family
And it wasn’t just a self-serving attitude
it was a sacrificial service
When the company commander told him that this may be a no return mission
He was willing to serve.
When ever he can physically make it to the church at 101 years old
He is here to serve to the best of his ability
Jesus shares with his disciples the last supper
John 13:1-5 speaks about what Jesus did
Before the Passover Festival, Jesus knew that his hour had come to depart from this world to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he loved them to the end.
Now when it was time for supper, the devil had already put it into the heart of Judas, Simon Iscariot’s son, to betray him.
Jesus knew that the Father had given everything into his hands, that he had come from God, and that he was going back to God.
So he got up from supper, laid aside his outer clothing, took a towel, and tied it around himself.
Next, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet and to dry them with the towel tied around him.
Why did Jesus do these things?
When Jesus had washed their feet and put on his outer clothing, he reclined again and said to them, “Do you know what I have done for you?
You call me Teacher and Lord—and you are speaking rightly, since that is what I am.
So if I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.
For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done for you.
“Truly I tell you, a servant is not greater than his master, and a messenger is not greater than the one who sent him.
If you know these things, you are blessed if you do them.
Even knowing that one was going to betray him
knowing that one would deny him
knowing that the rest would scatter after the Garden
and knowing that they had the wrong idea about him
being the Messiah meant that Jesus would be their leader and ultimately earthly king
Jesus gets down on His hands and knees
and does the most menial task reserved for the lowest servant of the house
and washed their dirty nasty feet
Men, what’s your excuse for not serving?
are you going to tell me that at an age younger than 101 you can’t serve?
I would refer you to Mr. Justin to have that conversation
or even better
why don’t you have that conversation to Jesus
and tell Him that the job is too time consuming
or that the job is too dirty
or that you need “family time”
and don’t have time for Him
who served you by laying his life on the line for you
who died a brutal and gruesome death for you.
I realize that jobs get in the way
but when a job is an excuse for not serving
It’s no longer about loving God and loving others
it’s about self serving, self preservation,
it’s about giving into the culture
and we begin to create the cultural masculinity
that people are against.
Jesus gave freely and sacrificially.
He put us first,
why wouldn’t we put Him first?
We learn from Jesus
that true manhood isn’t simply about keeping our noses clean
and our own ducks in a row.
True manhood means getting beyond ourselves to love our neighbors —
and our neighbor is anyone we meet that is in need.
Real men freely give their time, resources, attention, energy, and emotional support
to those that need it without regard to what they can give in return.
For many, there is a huge disconnect between what we say and what we actually do.
We live as Christians for a few hours on a Sunday
and live for ourselves the rest of the week.
But as we can see, Jesus’s life embodied his teaching completely and perfectly.
Unlike us, Jesus understood the implications of his teaching better than anyone
and never cut corners for the sake of personal comfort and convenience.
What does this look like in reality?
For the unmarried Christian man,
this means freely giving your time and resources
by being hospitable, volunteering at church,
providing for the needy, visiting the sick, and helping the elderly.
It has implications for how you steward your money.
Could you give more to the cause of Christ since your present expenses are fewer?
How can you honor your parents in this season?
You might check in more regularly to see if they have any needs that you could meet.
It has implications of building spiritual disciplines in your life.
to “seek first the Kingdom of God and all His righteousness.”
so that in your older days
those disciplines are the foundation of a godly life
to guide and direct you.
For the married man,
your closest neighbors are your wife and children.
Manhood means leaning into your marriage and family.
It means providing for them physically, financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
It means humbly loving your wife
even in the moments when you feel she’s especially unworthy of that love
and loving your children when they seem least deserving.
And all real men honor their father and mother,
and are eager to
let them learn to practice godliness toward their own family first and to repay their parents, for this pleases God.
I remember a time we had someone over to the house
and after dinner, I went and started washing the dishes
This person looked at me with shock.
My dad would never wash the dishes.
He always said that was woman’s work.
First, to my mom who is watching,
I love to wash the dishes and she taught me the value of doing that.
Even after me arguing the point of why I shouldn’t.
Second, washing the dishes is a small service and sacrifice to my wife
who has often had to prepare, clean, and wash everyone else’s clothes, dishes and otherwise all day long.
It’s part of Ephesians 5:25-26
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her
to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.
Jesus died for the church
I’m willing to wash a few dishes for my wife.
It’s a gift to her for all the gifts she provides to me throughout the day.
Finally, and most important, it’s a command of God
for me to love others.
To say dishes are women’s work is to say,
I don’t want to follow the commands of God.
Ladies, you’re welcome.
Real men deny themselves carnal pleasures for true joy in Jesus.
Whether you’re married or single,
if you’re not serving your neighbors selflessly and sacrificially,
you’re not fully walking in biblical manhood.
Boys say, “I’m responsible for myself.”
Men say, “I’m responsible for my neighbors.”
Boys are forced to give,
but men give freely because they’ve been freely given.
Boys expect their wife or mom to do the dishes,
but men are quick to grab the sponge and soap.
Ultimately, manhood means serving others as much and more than you serve yourself.
Some time ago ... I heard a touching story ....
about a humble pastor whose young son had become extremely ill.
After the boy had undergone an exhaustive series of tests,
the father was told the shocking news that his son's illness was terminal.
The young boy knew Christ as his Savior and his Lord,
so the minister knew that death would usher his son ...into Glory.
But he wondered how to tell his son that he soon would die.
After earnestly seeking the direction of the Holy Spirit,
he went with a heavy heart through the hospital ward to his son's bedside.
First he read a passage of Scripture
and had a time of prayer with his son.
Then he gently told him .that the doctors could promise him only a few more days.
"Are you afraid to meet Jesus, my son?" asked his devout father.
Blinking away a few tears, .... the little fellow said bravely.
"No, ... not if He's like you, Dad!"
What is the example you are showing to the world as a biblical man?
