WHAT IT'S LIKE TO BE A MAN

Introduction:

A few months ago, while I was trying to be healthy and walking on a threadmill, it so happens that the people at home are watching the finals of the Sexy Babes competition/pageant of “It’s Showtime”.

Now I wasn’t watching, it just that the threadmill is close to the tv so I can hear everything. May attention was caught during the Q&A because this was the question for all the contestants:

“Kung magkakaroon ng scientific breakthrough or makabagong scientipikong tuklas na ang mga lalake ay pwede nang mag buntis, bilang isang babae papayag ka bang ang mga lalake ay magkaroon ng karapatang mag buntis.”

After hearing this question, I knew right away how those ladies are going to answer this question if they want to win especially because the one asking is Vice Ganda.

The following are just some excerpt of their answers:

"para ma experience nila ang motherhood"

"para ma experience nila ang paghihirap at pagmamahal sa isang anak"

"inclusive and diverse, hindi lang dapat ang babae ang nakakaramdam ng ganun, dapat lahat po tayo"

"mararanasan nila pano mag alaga ng bata"

"mararamdaman po ng isang tao na magaling siyang mag mahal - maibibigay niya ang pagmamahal niya pag siya ay isang magulang"

"I believe that if we give a man the chance to give birth to their own child, we will be open to inclusivity and diversity, and I think that is the best way, that is best value that we could have in this world, because at the end of the day inclusivity and diversity is what we need to have a prosperous life and I believe it is, what it is."

Basically they answered in the affirmative or they agree because our culture today thinks that man has to be in the shoes of a woman so that man will be able to know what its like to be a woman.

For them, the world will be a better place if a man knows what it’s like to be a woman. Another thing is the glorification of the value of inclusivity and diversity to the point it was tied up to prosperity.

But in a closer analysis, these answers downplays what it’s like to be a man, in fact it is insulting. Look again at the answers, why is it necessary for a man to experience motherhood? Is it as if fatherhood is inferior? Let me tell you something, being a father is not easier than being a mother and I will prove it to you later.

Do fathers do not take care of their child? Do you equate taking care of the child only when the father is the one bathing, cleaning, feeding, playing, etc. with the child? His time working hard to provide is not counted as taking care of the child?

Worst, men now are accuse to love their child less than their mothers!

We are not even parents now except if we are the one who bear children!

These are lies being fed by the world to people right now and the sad thing some Christians are buying it.

Even Beyonce’ thinks men are hopeless that she thinks she can be a better man.

Being a woman is amazing because God designed you to be amazing but this does not mean you are the standard of what its like to be a man.

Women always accuse men to not understand them that’s why they think they can be better men than us. I think, the reason why you think you can be a better man because you do not understand what’s like to be a man.

Therefore this afternoon, I am going to speak from the subject, WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A MAN

In 2004, Norah Vincent, an american writer decided to conduct an experiment in which she will live undercover as a man. She did not do a sex change but used make up and prosthetics to appear like a man. This lasted 18 months and by 2006, her book came out titled “Self-made Man”.

Her conclusions are eye opening because she concluded that it was so hard to become a man and in comparison, being a woman is a privilege. Unfortunately, those 18 months of living as a man took a toll on her pyschologically that she never truly recovered from it. She became suicidal that she checked herself in voluntarily to mental institutions to seek help but sadly eventually she decided to end her own life in 2022 by assisted suicide in switzerland.

This shows that being a man is not easy.

Today we are going to examine three things to answer the question, “What it’s like to be a man.”:

I. The Curse of Men

Genesis 3:17–19 (NASB95)

17Then to Adam He said, “Because you have listened to the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree about which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat from it’; Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.

18“Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field;

19By the sweat of your face You will eat bread, Till you return to the ground, Because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return.”

Every problem of men can be traced back to this curse that is the result of Adam’s disobedience. And men has to live life with this curse on their back.

If we are to examine these curses we see two kinds of curse. The first is external in which Adam’s surrounding was cursed therefore his work was cursed. Second is internal in which he was directly cursed which resulted for death to come in.

A. External Curse

“Cursed is the ground because of you; In toil you will eat of it All the days of your life.

“Both thorns and thistles it shall grow for you; And you will eat the plants of the field;

By the sweat of your face You will eat bread,...”

There is a misconception that work only came after the fall; that there is no work before it, but that is not the case, Adam has a work even before the fall:

Genesis 2:15 (NASB95)

15Then the LORD God took the man and put him into the garden of Eden to cultivate it and keep it.

Cultivate:

6268 עָבַד (ʿā·ḇǎḏ)

: v.; ≡ Str 5647; TWOT 1553—1. LN 42.7–42.28 (qal) work, labor, do, i.e., expend considerable energy and intensity in a task or function (Ge 2:5; Ex 5:18), note: this is highly generic term for almost any activity; (pual) be worked (Dt 21:3+); (hif) work (Ex 1:13; 2Ch 2:17[EB 18]; Eze 29:18+);

James Swanson, Dictionary of Biblical Languages with Semantic Domains : Hebrew (Old Testament) (Oak Harbor: Logos Research Systems, Inc., 1997).

Men were designed to work hard that’s why we have stronger bodies than women. But the difference between the original design and after the fall of men interms of work is the purpose of work.

The original design’s purpose is to keep the garden of the Lord, to serve and glorify the Lord.

After the fall, the purpose of men’s labor is so he can eat.

Originally, men do not need to work to eat. He works to glorify God but after the fall, the purpose of men’s labor was drastically lowered. To work for something that was originally free.

From an eternal purpose to serve God by keeping the creation, men were reduced to labor for food that is temporal, therefore it is only fitting that men’s curse includes his death.

Now women were also affected by the fall and not just in the area of childbearing but you are affected also to the curse pronounced to men as the “ezer” but this curse is directly aimed at men because the first purpose was given to him also.

This is the first thing to understand men:

Men were created to fulfill an eternal work to keep the creation, he is to be ruler of all that God has made and he should have dominion but he was reduced to work for food, something that is free in the garden.

We have a saying, “started from the bottom now we’re here!” But for Adam and through him all men the saying is, “Started from the top to the bottom, here we are!”

Despite all this, men did not lost his desire for a greater purpose but he can do nothing but labor for things that are less like food:

Ecclesiastes 3:11 (NASB95)

11He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.

Because eternity is in our design, we have an instinct for great things, to do great works, this is the reason why we love heroes and superheroes.

But because of the fall, we lost our identity. We used to labor for God, now we labor to eat. But men throughout history has an instinct for the eternal but because of our corrupted nature this was expressed at least I think in two general way:

To Conquer- this is due to having the instinct of eternal but redefined what it is. (kingdom, accomplishment, women, etc.)

To Give up - this is due to having the instinct of eternal but no idea what to look for.

B. Internal Curse

“...Till you return to the ground, Because from it you were taken; For you are dust, And to dust you shall return.”

Here we can clearly see that man was affected to his very core. Paul in Romans 5 made this very clear, “death came through sin.”

This is always the case; apart from God, man is dead. To understand man is to understand the deadness in him without God.

Why do men do bad things? Cheat, lie, abandon, lust and all other things that is deadly - because we are dead.

To know what its like to be a man is to know the curse of man. Man has to deal with this curse. In order to be a good man, man has to overcome this curse that they carry.

This brings us to the next point, because man was cursed, this lead to:

II. The Corruption of Men

We pointed out in the previous point of the internal curse that men has through the sin of Adam. Death is not the only internal consequence but men was corrupted.

Let step back for a moment and consider what should have been the purpose of men before the fall:

Genesis 1:26–28 (NASB95)

26Then God said, “Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness; and let them rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over the cattle and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

27God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them.

28God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

Men was made in the image of God. Not on other creature who were created before men but God. He is the only one created in the image of God. The reason for this is men is supposed to be God’s deputy to rule over creation.

There are two roles the man has to fulfill in behalf of God as someone made in His image. Men are to rule and subdue the creation.

After the fall, this design was not lost but corrupted.

We can see this when God renewed the mandate to be fruitful and multiply to Noah:

Genesis 9:1–2 (NASB95)

1And God blessed Noah and his sons and said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.

2“The fear of you and the terror of you will be on every beast of the earth and on every bird of the sky; with everything that creeps on the ground, and all the fish of the sea, into your hand they are given.

It is clear here that man retained the mandate to rule but this is now different than before the fall because man is now corrupted.

In other words, the desire to rule and subdue is always part of who a man is but the version the we have right now is corrupted.

In the original version, man is to rule and subdue to take care of creation but in this version of a corrupted man, he rules and subdue to take advantage for his own selfish desire.

This is what’s like to be a man, man is driven by that original design but because of the corruption that happend, we express this drive in the most destructive ways sometimes. We have an instinct to rule and subdue but it is convuluted with our corruption.

This is the cause of wars, strife and conflict. The design was corrupted.

In order to be a good man, this corruption must be overcome. And man is struggling with this daily.

In his struggle, he either destroy or despair.

Destroy when he do whatever it takes to rule or subdue.

Despair when he gives up thinking he is not able.

Men with good sense struggle always to not come to destroy or despair.

If our goal is to know what it’s like to be a man, this is what it is like.

III. The Cravings of Men

Due to the corruption of men, cravings was developed in him. Desires that fills man’s heart ever since the fall even up to this day.

New American Standard Bible (1995) Chapter 2

1 I said to myself, “Come now, I will test you with

Although the point of this recollection of Solomon is to inform that pleasure is meaningless, it is still very clear here that men if they are able will seek the pleasures of life.

This is another struggle of man, to overcome his cravings. The cravings of men are selfish, therefore he takes at the expense of others.

Speaking of fathers, this is something that should really be fought and overcome in order to be a good father.

Now, to make it clear, I do not mean that men is not responsible to his sinful action because his cravings are a result of the corruption. It is very clear here that Solomon said, he did it. Not he is somehow unconscious.

But since our goal here is to know what it’s like to be a man, this is part of what it’s like to be a man in this fallen state. Man has to battle this demon daily and most men are defeated and succumb to this strong propensity to the cravings of the flesh.

Conclusion:

I think you have noticed it by now that our points are somewhat negative and I designed it that way because I want us to understand how difficult it is to be a man, specifically to be a good man.

In our culture man is looked down because of all of this these points we talked about.

This is exactly why we should honor fathers.

Why are father’s to be honored? Because in order to be a good father, men has to overcome the curse, the corruption, and cravings of men. These are the struggles that men face and must overcome to be a good man.

What if you don’t have a good father? It is my hope that you will honor them still regardless of their actions because at least you understand their struggles. I do not wish to make an excuse for them, they should have been better. But maybe, trying to understand them and even honor them in light of what we have learned this afternoon will turn things around. God is able to change a person and if we extend our hands to them they may yet be the man God designed them to be.

The cure for men is not to redefine them in light of a woman but to return them to their original design, to serve God.

Having said this, indeed fathers and men fail and the reason why they do, is because they lack the other “C” which is Christ. It is either they don’t have Him or they do have Him but do not submit to Him.

As difficult as it is to be a woman, being a man is equally difficult. To be a good man requires us to overcome our curse, our corruption and our cravings.

But to be a Christian man and more so a Christian father is much more difficult, there is a greater expectation:

New American Standard Bible (1995) Chapter 5

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,

New American Standard Bible (1995) Chapter 5

holy and blameless.

28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;

29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,

Not only we have to overcome those 3 we mentioned, we also have to conform to Christ.

Which is in reality the true picture what it’s like to be a man. Christ is the model man, the new Adam that we should pattern ourselves.

Men, do not despair, because we have the Holy Spirit with us the one who make us overcome.

But in the meantime, let us honor the fathers here in this place because we know what it’s like to be a man.

If you have a good man or a good father, understand that they have to battle daily to be that man you love today.