Fatherhood--Are You Joking?
Notes
Transcript
Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers;
but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers.
The one thing every man has in common is the fact that we have no idea how hard it is to be a dad! A couple just had a baby. Dad was watching as mom changed the baby’s diaper. As she finished, she asked him, “Do you think you can do the next one?” He said, “Sure.”
As you know with newborns, it wasn’t that long until the baby needed a fresh diaper. Mom held the baby out to dad, saying, “Here you go!”
“For what?” asked dad.
“The diaper needs changing. You said you’d change the next one.”
“I meant the next baby!”
Every man wants to be a good father. The reason so many men are resistant to becoming fathers is that they are afraid they will be a bad father. And the reason they are afraid is that they really don’t know HOW to be a good father. Deep down, most of us men carry that fear.
The thing is, before you can be a good father, you have to be a good man. Unfortunately, there just aren’t that many good men out there today.
Even the good men have to deal with certain struggles, like effective communication—especially with women. Ladies, here’s a little something to help you understand what we men are really trying to say.
Men’s Thesaurus
Men’s Thesaurus
He says “IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN.”
He means: "I have no idea how it works"
He says "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU ARE WORKING TOO HARD.’’ He means: "I can’t hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."
He says “THAT’S INTERESTING DEAR.” He means: "Are you still talking?"
He says: "IT’S A GUY THING." He means: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with this, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."
He says "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" He means: "Why isn’t it ready yet?"
He says "UH HUH, SURE HONEY,” or “YES, DEAR." He means: Absolutely nothing – It’s a conditioned response.
He says "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." He means: "I can remember the theme song to ‘Hogan’s Heroes’, the phone # of the first girl I ever kissed & the vehicle identification numbers of every car I ever owned – but yes, I forgot your birthday."
He says ’OH, DON’T FUSS, I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT’S NO BIG DEAL." He means: "I have probably severed a limb, but I will bleed to death before I admit I’m hurt, so get over here and help me!"
He says ’I CAN’T FIND IT.’’ He means: "It didn’t fall into my outstretched hand, so I’m completely clueless."
When a man says “I HEARD YOU.” He means: "I haven’t the foggiest clue what you just said and I am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you’ll not spend the next 3 days yelling at me."
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE" means: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC!" means: "Oh please don’t try on one more outfit, we’re late and I’m starving."
"I’M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.’’ means: "No one will ever see us alive again."
“I don’t think I can go today.” means: “Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, I am never going to think of it that way.”
“I don’t remember saying that.” means: “Anything I may have said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all past comments become null and void after 7 days.”
"That’s not what I meant.” means: “If something I said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, I meant the other one.”
If your husband says, “honey, what color is this?” He means: ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. I have no idea what ‘taupe’ is.”
As you can see, we men already have enough disadvantages. If we are going to succeed as men, and as fathers, we have to learn to be good men.
A Good Man
A Good Man
A Good Man Learns to Lean
A Good Man Learns to Lean
First of all, a good man is a man who has learned to lean on the Lord for salvation, strength, and provision. This is hard for us, because we are taught that it is our job to be the strong one and that asking for help is weakness.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.
A Good Man Learns to Lead
A Good Man Learns to Lead
Second, a good man is a man who has learned to lead. First and foremost, he learns to lead himself—to control his flesh. If we don’t lead our flesh, our flesh will lead us! Next, we are to lead our families.
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
We have to learn to lead our families the way God leads us—lovingly, with their best interests at heart. When we learn to lead properly, our families feel safe, secure, and confident to grow in the Lord.
The hardest thing you will ever do will be a good husband and a good Father to your Children…
…The priest Eli could run the temple but could not run his family
…David could run a kingdom and lead men into battle, but could not run his children. Just read 1 Kings!
We also have to learn to lead the lost to Jesus!
In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.
A Good Man Learns to Love
A Good Man Learns to Love
To start with, a good man learns to love the Lord, our Heavenly Father.
And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment.
Loving God is foundational to our living the life He has called us to live. As we develop and deepen our relationship with our heavenly father, our heart and our desires become more like his. The more we love him, the more we can truly love others.
Next, a good man learns to love his family.
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,
so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
Notice that what is described here is not merely affection, more than an emotion. It is intentionally seeking the welfare and happiness of another person. It is self-sacrificial. 1 Corinthians 13 describes love as patient and kind, not insisting on its own way. Love edifies others. It doesn’t tear them down or treat them like property.
Unlike the dad whose wife suggested that he should get a new play station for their son. The dad said, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
Finally, a good man learns to love others. Not just the ones who look like us and think like us. We learn to love those who are awful to us, just like Jesus loved us while we were rebelling against him.
When we learn what it means to lean, lead, and love God’s way, then we are positioned to model these things to our children.
Think about it. Our kids are always learning from us, so we have to be careful about what we are teaching them.
For example, we taught Clara the importance of saving her money. She doesn’t waste her money on frivolous stuff. MY money, on the other hand...
What is the lesson you want your children to learn?
To go to church regularly, or to be hungry for the presence of God and fellowship with other believers?
Do you want them to learn that giving is an obligation for the faithful, or that sharing what God has blessed us with is something that brings joy?
Do you want them to have tradition and religion, or to have a transformational relationship with their creator?
Do you want them to learn what a good father looks like so that they can come to trust in the goodness of their heavenly father?
The fact is that some of us fathers today may feel like our parenting has been nothing more than a bad joke at the expense of our kids and our spouses. Someone in here may have a very broken relationship with one or more of your kids.
Maybe you’re the kid who is filled with resentment concerning your dad. As bad as everything might seem, the good news is that you have a heavenly father who loves you and wants to heal that broken relationship. As we surrender our hurt feelings to God, he can bring restoration and reconciliation to that relationship.
And even if your dad is no longer around, God can help you forgive and develop a genuine love that is free from the baggage you have carried for so long. That’s right, you can learn to forgive them. You can learn to forgive yourself. You can learn to love them the way that Christ loves you.
A man and his son were arguing terribly. “I can’t stand to even look at you,” said the son. “That’s fine. I can’t stand to look at you either,” screamed the dad. So God knocked them both to their knees. They see each other much more clearly now.
Let’s pray.
