Strong Hands, Soft Hearts

Introduction

Saints, we find ourselves in a BATTLE for the soul of fatherhood!

The enemy has launched an all-out ASSAULT on God's design for the family!

When nearly one in four of our children - 17.4 MILLION of them - are growing up without a Father in the home, we've got a CRISIS on our hands!

But I stopped by to tell somebody that God is calling for a REVIVAL of godly fatherhood! Can I get an AMEN in this place!

Turn with me to Ephesians chapter 6, verse 4.

Bible Passage

The Apostle Paul declares: "Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

Now in Paul's day, Roman fathers had what they called "patria po-test-as" - absolute power over the family.

A father could sell his children as slaves!

He could even put them to DEATH with no consequences!

But here comes Paul, saying, "HOLD UP! Don't provoke your children to anger!"

Then he adds this powerful instruction: "but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord."

That word "bring them up" is the same word used for how a man NOURISHES his own body!

Saints, I'm here to tell you that God is calling for fathers with STRONG HANDS... but SOFT HEARTS!

Fathers who demonstrate the fruit of FAITHFULNESS... and the fruit of GENTLENESS!

So I've got one question for the men in this sanctuary today: Do you have hands strong enough to GUIDE, yet soft enough to HOLD?

Faithful Fathers Reflect God's Fatherhood

Now let's talk about this fruit of FAITHFULNESS!

A faithful father understands that he is an EARTHLY REFLECTION of our Heavenly Father!

Never underestimate your role as a father.

Remember, my brothers that your children's view of God will largely be dependent on their view of you.

Somebody say, "THAT'S HEAVY!"

Look at Joseph, Jesus' earthly father!

Jesus’ biological Father was GOD HIMSELF, but the Lord entrusted His Son to Joseph's care!

Joseph didn't have his name in lights!

He didn't have a fancy title!

But that man was FAITHFUL!

When Herod was hunting Jesus as a baby, Joseph got up in the MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT and took that child to safety!

I wonder if I've got any FAITHFUL fathers in the house today?

Fathers who might not get the recognition, might not get the headlines, might not get the praise, but you're THERE for your children!

You're providing!

You're protecting!

You're PRESENT!

If that's you, wave your hand at me and say, "I'M STILL HERE!”

<Break>

Look at Abraham!

God told him, "Take your son, your ONLY son Isaac, whom you LOVE, and offer him as a sacrifice."

Talk about a test of faithfulness!

But Abraham TRUSTED God!

And because of his faithfulness, his name is STILL being called thousands of years later!

"Before you leave this earth, we as men have a responsibility to live our lives so that your children's grandchildren will know our name."

Your faithfulness TODAY isn't just about right now!

It's about GENERATIONS you'll never meet but who will be blessed by your legacy!

Will you be found FAITHFUL?

The Power of a Father's Gentleness

Now let's talk about this GENTLENESS!

Now i know what you are saying brothers: Pastor, I don't know about all this 'gentle' talk!"

The world tells men that masculinity means never showing weakness, being tough all the time.

But biblical gentleness ain't WEAKNESS - it's STRENGTH under control!

The research is CLEAR - studies show that when fathers combine firm boundaries with emotional warmth, their children have higher self-esteem, better grades, and improved emotional health!

Somebody say, "THAT'S WHAT I WANT FOR MY Children!"

Look at Moses!

Numbers 12:3 says he was the most humble, the most GENTLE man on earth!

This is the SAME Moses who stood before Pharaoh and said, "LET MY PEOPLE GO!"

This is the SAME Moses who stretched out his rod and parted the Red Sea!

This is the SAME Moses who received the Law from God's own hand!

Yet his leadership was marked by GENTLENESS!

"What a child needs is both discipline AND nurturing, correction AND affirmation! Correction shows me how to manage power, teaches me submission, prepares me for authority! Where correction becomes normative, then you're free to make mistakes because you learn how to REPAIR mistakes!"

Gentleness doesn't mean no discipline!

It means discipline with LOVE instead of RAGE!

It means creating a space where your child can make mistakes and LEARN from them, not LIVE IN FEAR of your anger!

It means having a heart your children can run TO, not run FROM!

Overcoming the Father Wound

Now I need to speak to some men in this sanctuary who are carrying what I call a "father wound."

Many of you never had a model of what godly fatherhood looks like.

Some had Fathers who were physically present but emotionally ABSENT.

Others experienced harsh discipline with NO nurturing love.

Some never knew your fathers at all.

If I'm talking to YOU today, I came to tell you that the father wound STOPS HERE! In this sanctuary! On THIS Father's Day!

We can unlearn from the shortcomings of our upbringing

The word of God is ripe with examples of what a good father looks like

Let me tell you about the father in Luke chapter 15!

We call him the father of the Prodigal Son!

When that wayward boy came home, that daddy didn't lecture him FIRST!

He didn't say, "I told you so!"

He RAN to him!

The Bible says he RAN!

In that culture, dignified men didn't run!

But this dad HITCHED UP HIS ROBE and RAN to his son!

Embraced him!

Kissed him!

Restored him WITHOUT condemnation!

That father had the STRENGTH to let his son go and face the consequences of his choices.

And he had the GENTLENESS to welcome him home with open arms.

Is there anybody here today who's thankful that God is both STRONG and GENTLE with us?!

Building a Father's Legacy Through Presence

My final point speaks to the power of a father's PRESENCE!

The average Father in America spends just over ONE HOUR per day with his children!

ONE HOUR!

Is that enough to build a legacy?

" A Father is the one who is PRESENT, OBSERVABLE and you can EMULATE. You cannot imitate someone who is ABSENT."

Your babies need more than your PROVISION; they need your PRESENCE!

They need to see faithfulness and gentleness lived out in real time, in the ordinary moments of life!

In our tradition, we've always understood that fatherhood extends beyond blood!

Uncles, grandfathers, deacons, pastors, coaches - we've always had "social fathers" stepping in!

That reflects the heart of God, who ADOPTS us into His family and calls us His children!

The great challenge for today's father is to be FULLY PRESENT!

Physically!

Emotionally!

Spiritually!

To have strong hands that work hard to provide, yet are gentle enough to wipe away tears!

To have a disciplined mind that teaches wisdom, yet a tender heart that shows compassion!

"The single greatest reason why we are losing a generation is because the home is no longer the place of the transference of the faith."

Men, your most important ministry isn't in this church building!

It's in your HOME!

Your most important disciples aren't in your Bible study!

They're sleeping under your ROOF!

The fruit of faithfulness and gentleness doesn't happen by ACCIDENT!

It must be cultivated DAILY through prayer!

Through immersion in God's Word!

Through accountability with other godly men!

And through the POWER of the Holy Spirit!

Your children don't need PERFECT fathers - they need FAITHFUL fathers who are GROWING in gentleness by God's grace!

Closing & Appeal

As I close today, I'm reminded that our Heavenly Father perfectly balances strong hands and a soft heart!

His hands are strong enough to uphold the UNIVERSE, yet gentle enough to wipe away our TEARS!

His voice is powerful enough to command the WAVES, yet tender enough to whisper, "I LOVE YOU!"

And YOU, fathers, are called to this divine balance!

So I DECLARE over you today:

You might have come from BROKENNESS!

But with God's help, you can father with WHOLENESS!

You might have experienced HARSHNESS!

But with God's help, you can father with GENTLENESS!

You might have known ABSENCE!

But with God's help, you can father with PRESENCE!

You might have felt REJECTION!

But with God's help, you can father with ACCEPTANCE!

You might have suffered NEGLECT!

But with God's help, you can father with ATTENTION!

You might have witnessed FAILURE!

But with God's help, you can father with FAITHFULNESS!

You might have endured COLDNESS!

But with God's help, you can father with WARMTH!

You might have weathered INCONSISTENCY!

But with God's help, you can father with STEADFASTNESS!

You might have been given CONFUSION!

But with God's help, you can father with CLARITY!

You might have lived with FEAR!

But with God's help, you can father with COURAGE!

You might have grown up without GUIDANCE!

But with God's help, you can father with WISDOM!

You might have experienced DISTANCE!

But with God's help, you can father with INTIMACY!

Remember, Remember, Remember, even when you fall SHORT!

Our Heavenly Father's GRACE is sufficient!

His mercies are NEW! - EVERY morning!

His STRENGTH - is made perfect in your WEAKNESS!

His SPIRIT - empowers you to bear GOOD FRUIT!

His WORD - guides you in WISDOM!

His LOVE - flows through your STRONG HANDS!

His GENTLENESS - radiates through your SOFT HEART!

On this Father's Day!

I need every father to STAND UP right now!

Receive His BLESSING!

To become the father your children NEED!

A father with STRONG HANDS!

And a SOFT HEART!