David: Friend

Introduction

My grandfather was a preacher, no real shock there, right? He was also a great singer and songwriter (authoring 88 songs). He was pretty well-known among different churches and gatherings for his music. In fact, when my dad was little, for about 5 and a half years he and his family traveled to perform concerts and preach revivals. Music was a central part of my grandpa’s life.

Just a little over 4 years ago he passed away. My dad and his two sisters sang as a trio at his funeral. They sang a song from 1992 by Michael W. Smith called “Friends.” The chorus goes like this,

“And friends are friends forever If the Lord's the Lord of them And a friend will not say never 'Cause the welcome will not end Though it's hard to let you go In the Father's hands we know That a lifetime's not too long To live as friends”

In the Lord, friendships can last a lifetime and beyond. It’s the comradery and shared experiences that make our relationships meaningful. Sometimes a friend is the only thing holding us together. David had a friend, a best friend, and that made all the difference for him. (1 Samuel 18).

I. A Friend Gives (1 Samuel 18:1-16)

A. (v. 1-4) Jonathan is the prince, Saul’s son. The heir to the throne. He was also a brave warrior

1. In 1 Samuel 14 we learn how Jonathan took on a regiment of Philistine warriors all by himself. So, naturally he is drawn to David when he sees David’s courage before Goliath. He loves this guy!

2. When Saul sees the valiant nature of David he does not let David return home, instead, he is grafted into the ranks permanently

a. Jonathan was happy about this and demonstrated what it really means to “love your neighbor as yourself.” He took his robes, armor, and even his weapons and gave it to David

b. Jonathan did not keep the best for himself but sacrificed his own tools so David could have everything he needed. Jonathan didn’t have the slightest hint of jealousy or rivalry. He simply gave to someone that meant a lot to him.

B. His father Saul, on the other hand, developed a hatred, disdain, and even fear of David (v. 5-9)

1. David was successful wherever he went. His promotion to being over the men of war was earned and it was clear that he was the right choice

a. When he came back into town, leading his victorious soldiers, the people rejoiced saying, “Saul has slain his thousands and David his ten thousands.”

b. This vexed Saul and he looked down on David from that time on; scrutinizing everything David did, assuming he was looking for the perfect opportunity to overthrow Saul.

2. Saul, internalized this skepticism and wanted to strike first

a. Instead of following David’s lead and trusting in God he continued to reject the Lord and chose vengeance. The result? He was terrorized by an evil spirit again (v. 10-12)

b. Isn’t it interesting that when we set our minds to do evil that Satan seeks to empower us. God withdrew from Saul, giving him exactly what he wanted. Saul then sought to destroy God’s man, David, but the Lord protected His faithful servant. In spite of Saul’s dread and hatred of David, God caused him to prosper and to be loved by all Israel (v. 15-16).

3. (summary of v. 17-30) Saul tries to take away his reward for killing Goliath, giving his oldest daughter to another man

a. David was simply humble, thinking he was not worthy to marry the king’s daughter. That is, until Saul thought of a way to try and get rid of David through another daughter, Michal

b. Saul required no dowry save this, the foreskins of a hundred Philistines. Saul thought, “let the Philistines kill him for me.” David took his men and went to battle, not only fulfilling the king’s request but going the extra mile and killing 200 Philistines. 1 Samuel 18:30 “Then the commanders of the Philistines came out to battle, and as often as they came out David had more success than all the servants of Saul, so that his name was highly esteemed.”

c. Saul feared David even more from this, realizing God was with him, and he made David his enemy continually from then on.

C. You see the difference between a friend and a fake?

1.Jonathan got a small role in this chapter while Saul’s schemes ran on and on. A genuine friend is sincere, gracious, and generous. Jonathan truly loved David and gave him the best he had to provide the greatest opportunity for success. Nothing more needs to be said.

2. Whereas, Saul despised, feared, was jealous of, and hated David

a. He tried brute force, trying to pin David to a wall with a spear twice. He tried to compromise David by taking away what was rightfully his (not giving his firstborn daughter as a bride). Then Saul attempted to trick David into blundering his way into doom but God still gave David the victory

b. See, the schemes of a fake friend are complex, they seem good on the surface but in the end serve only selfish needs.

3. A true friend loves, gives, sacrifices, and helps. None of it is selfish. Every action, every word, every gift is for the benefit of someone else. Proverbs 19:17 “Whoever is generous to the poor lends to the Lord, and he will repay him for his deed.” A true friend gives.

II. A Friend Protects (19:1-7)

A. All of Saul’s schemes thus far have failed. So, he figured he could get to David through his best friend, Jonathan (v. 1-7)

1. Jonathan could have sat idly by and not gone against his father. But he knew this was the wrong thing to do

2. So, he protected David, sending him to a secret place until he could speak to his father. He complimented David, revealed the truth in that David has only done good, not harm, to Saul, he disclosed the reality that the actions of Saul were sinful

3. The amazing thing about this is that Jonathan persuaded Saul. The king conceded and David was able to be reconciled to the king and ministered to him again in his presence. What a good friend

B. (summarizing v. 8-24) Saul relinquished revenge outwardly but did not repent inwardly

1. He may have vowed by the name of the Lord but he did not turn his heart toward God. For anger and an evil spirit regained influence and he burst out in anger trying to pin David to the wall yet again

2. Saul set another trap for David, surrounding his house with guards to strike him down in the morning. Michal, David’s wife, would not allow it. She loved David too much; she snuck him out and lied to her father in order to protect him. Saul tried to pursue but God intervened.

C. Not only are friends generous they also seek to protect

1.It’s probably rare for someone to protect you from dying like Jonathan did with Saul. But there are other ways to protect: feelings, confidence, standing firm in reality, etc.

2. An authentic compliment can lift up someone’s day from the brink of despair. A gentle or firm reminder of the truth grounds us and focuses us on what really matters. Encouragement can give us the confidence to keep moving forward, especially when it’s hard.

3. Proverbs 17:17 “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”

III. A Friend is Loyal (20:1-42)

A. When David first ran he went to a mentor, Samuel. When he was forced to leave there he went to his best friend (v. 1-4)

1.Jonathan wasn’t convinced his dad could be so heinous. Afterall, Saul gave his word and even vowed not to kill David. But he trusted David and offered his services in whatever he needed

a. David hatched a plan for Jonathan to see Saul’s anger for himself. David intentionally hid during a feast to see Saul’s reaction. If it was pleasant but sad then David was wrong. If it was wrathful then David had reason to fear for his life. Jonathan obliged, saying that he would discover the truth and tell David. Here’s what they said.. (v. 10-18)

b. The heart of a friend leaps for joy when they are together and is sorrowful when they are apart. They made a covenant with each other to always do good to one another and looking out for each other’s families. Verse 18 is so simple yet profound, “Tomorrow is the new moon and you will be missed because your seat will be empty”

c. They arranged for the signal to be shooting 3 arrows near for a good reaction from Saul or far for a bad reaction from Saul

2. Sure enough, Saul was angry and even cursed Jonathan for this outrage! (v. 30-34)

a. Jonathan could not talk his father down this time. Saul was so angry he tried to kill his own son. Jonathan refused to eat because of his grief over David’s life

b. The next morning, Jonathan gave the signal that revealed Saul intended to kill David. They cried together over this and Jonathan sent him away in safety (v. 42)

B. A good friend is loyal

1. He does not blindly follow or allow his friend to be in danger. He looks objectively for the truth and does what is right for his friend

a. How torn and hurt Jonathan must have been that his father could be so ruthless and reckless, especially for someone who had done no wrong

b. Jonathan trusted David and protected him, even over his father’s wishes. Even though he knew he would not be king, he wanted David to prosper. He willingly gave up the throne for his friend

2. Proverbs 18:24 “A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

a. It’s not about how many friends you have but the quality of your friends

b. Do they build you up or tear you down? Are they a good influence or bad influence? Are they on your side through thick and thin or do they run and betray you at the drop of a hat?

c. True friends are loyal to the end

Conclusion/Application

Oh what a friend we have in Jesus. It’s like the hymn under the same name, 1) “What a Friend we have in Jesus,  All our sins and griefs to bear!What a privilege to carry  Everything to God in prayer! O what peace we often forfeit, O what needless pain we bear, All because we do not carry  Everything to God in prayer!

2)Have we trials and temptations?  Is there trouble anywhere? We should never be discouraged, Take it to the Lord in prayer. Can we find a friend so faithful? Who will all our sorrows share? Jesus knows our every weakness, Take it to the Lord in prayer.

3) Are we weak and heavy-laden, Cumbered with a load of care? Precious Savior, still our refuge—Take it to the Lord in prayer; Do thy friends despise, forsake thee? Take it to the Lord in prayer; In His arms He’ll take and shield thee, Thou wilt find a solace there.”

Jesus shows us what it means to be a real friend. John 15:12–17 ““This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you. You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you that you should go and bear fruit and that your fruit should abide, so that whatever you ask the Father in my name, he may give it to you. These things I command you, so that you will love one another.” Show Him your friendship by loving others as He loved us, by going to Him in prayer, and obeying His commands.

Let us learn to be a good friend. A friend gives, protects, and is loyal. “A lifetime is not too long to live as friends.”