New Walk (New Life Series)

Introduction

Ever feel like the exception to the gospel rule of God’s unconditional love. Maybe you look at yourself and see a sinister sinner still trying to grapple your way out of habitual sin or tangled thoughts weighing you down and dragging you to the depths of despair. God saves other people but not me. God rescues other people and I just happened to float along in their wake, washing ashore, and then just get beaten by the waves of self accusation. God doesn’t love me. God doesn’t want me.

That is the storyline the adversary pries into our thoughts when we are saved by grace through faith. You see, we are saved by grace, but that salvation comes through faith. And though the enemy can’t steal your salvation away, he can corrupt your thoughts and rupture your faith. And just maybe, he can get you to turn away from the One who came to save you.

On the contrary, God isn’t picking and choosing those he loves and those he doesn’t. This is evident in the verse which has become an almost popular cliché - John 3:16. God so loved the world. Not the good people. Not the perfect people. He loved all the people. He loved all the world and that includes you and me.

Story

For a long time, I suffered with great bouts of inadequacy. I was never good enough. I was basically a loser. And repeating that mantra to myself over and over, I eventually lived that lie out to its fullest. Even after I called on the Lord and was ‘saved’, I wrestled with these thoughts. I would do well in my career and use that success to help grow my confidence. But I knew who I was and the dark thoughts I struggled with. I new I wasn’t worthy of salvation and began to believe the lie that the enemy planted in my mind. Unworthiness. Worthlessness. Hopeless. Laughable.

I wish I could say that I had some great revelation that broke that thought pattern once and for all. The truth of the matter is that I had to walk a very long and dark road to get where I am today. The only thing that kept me going was the Word of God. I couldn’t find a single place where God was ready to throw out those who called on his name and wanted to follow him even in their weakness.

Sure there are plenty of scripture verses that may seem to allude to that. Take for instance Luke 9:62, “But Jesus said to him, “No one, after putting his hand to the plow and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.”” Does this mean that Jesus is saying if you simply look back you are not fit for the kingdom of God. Just hang it up and go back to your worthless lifestyle! I think if we all did that there would be no one left standing. But the critical word in the translation is the part where is says the person ‘looked’ back. It turns out that the word ‘look’ in this context means more that simply being confused and quickly looking back or temporarily losing our direction. It implies a deep, almost longing, look back. Perhaps more akin to “if you keep on looking back” or “if you permanently turn away”.

In John 21:3, Peter heads back to his old trade and the others followed him. He had denied Jesus and ran away. He had even seen the risen Savior, but some days elapsed and Jesus was no where to be found. Even having witnessed the resurrection wasn’t enough to maintain his faith. Pete looked back out of despair. His hope was waning.

John 21:3 NASB 2020

Simon Peter said to them, “I am going fishing.” They said to him, “We are also coming with you.” They went out and got into the boat; and that night they caught nothing.

So if Peter looked back after his faith wavered, then perhaps there is hope for the rest of us. Even if we are tempted by that old lifestyle there is hope. In Romans 7:14–25 , the apostle Paul describes in vivid detail the internal struggle waging in the souls of many Christ followers.

Romans 7:14–25 NASB 2020

For we know that the Law is spiritual, but I am fleshly, sold into bondage to sin. For I do not understand what I am doing; for I am not practicing what I want to do, but I do the very thing I hate. However, if I do the very thing I do not want to do, I agree with the Law, that the Law is good. But now, no longer am I the one doing it, but sin that dwells in me. For I know that good does not dwell in me, that is, in my flesh; for the willing is present in me, but the doing of the good is not. For the good that I want, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I do the very thing I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but sin that dwells in me. I find then the principle that evil is present in me, the one who wants to do good. For I joyfully agree with the law of God in the inner person, but I see a different law in the parts of my body waging war against the law of my mind, and making me a prisoner of the law of sin, the law which is in my body’s parts. Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, on the one hand I myself with my mind am serving the law of God, but on the other, with my flesh the law of sin.

Here we see that the internal battle isn’t won independently. It is won only through the Lord Jesus Christ. Jesus supplies the victory not only on the cross for our sins but in our walk with Him. So when I read all the scripture verses like Luke 9:62, I found myself thinking of a loving Father warning a child, “Your going to get hurt if you keep doing that.” And a Father who isn’t afraid to reprimand His son because He truly wants the best for him and knows that that way he is taking leads only to death. So when God does raise his voice by condemning us through His Word, it isn’t out of some dislike for us. It is his firm loving hand on us. Just as it says in Hebrews 12:6 “For whom the Lord loves He disciplines, And He punishes every son whom He accepts.””

Transition

When I see my grandkids get punished, there is a moment where they draw inward and behave as if they were being unjustly punished. Eventually, they snap out of it and make the connection between their own actions and the punishment they received. When they become teenagers it can be even worse. But, we are much the same way. When our sin convicts us we withdraw from God and feel abandoned, just like my little grandchild sitting in timeout or the teenage moping in their room. Our momentary feelings should never be allowed to control our commitment and love for God. They should remind us that God, our Father, is very jealous for us. He wants the absolute best for us. In James 4:5, one translation reads “He jealously desires the Spirit whom He has made to dwell in us”

James 4:5 NASB 2020

Or do you think that the Scripture says to no purpose, “He jealously desires the Spirit whom He has made to dwell in us”?

I love that. God is earnestly jealous for us. He wants us. That is His heart desire. That is what He wants for all the World, because He so loved the World. God, our Father, wants a relationship with us. He knows we are sinful and subject to weakness. That is why He sent Jesus to rescue us. And Jesus came joyfully to do the work of the Father.

Points

So, my biggest triumph in overcoming my self-deprecation was not really finding something good in myself. It was discovering the nature of God and His motivating purpose for redeeming me in the first place. True Love. A pure love I never knew nor could I emulate. Love, in the world we live in, is corrupted and distorted. But God says in Isaiah 55:8–9 ““For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” declares the Lord. “For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.” God’s ways are higher. They are better. They are purer. There is no malice in them. There is only love. Love even for me. I am worthy because He said I am worthy.

Application

My revelation didn’t come simply by reading the Bible and studying His Word. It came from a long relationship with Him. Finding out for my self who He truly is. Discovering His integrity and seeing His faithfulness over and over again. He put me to shame with the love He showed me, and in the process changed me. So my encouragement to you is to walk humbly with the Lord, and He will teach you love, justice, and kindness. He will transform you. He will change and transform you. He will wash away all the negative thoughts and give you a clean heart. It’s not about you. It’s about Him. It is His nature to do those things for us, for He is Love.