Everything Women Can and Can't Do According to the Bible (Part 2 of 2)
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Everything Women Can and Can't Do According to the Bible (Part 2)
Everything Women Can and Can't Do According to the Bible (Part 2)
Big Idea:
Big Idea:
God has clearly defined roles for men and women in marriage and church leadership,
but has also given flexibility in many areas of life.
Scripture both affirms gender distinctions and refutes cultural extremes.
Recap
Recap
Egalitarian = men and women are the same in role & function
Complimentarian = equal but different roles with it comes to, at mimimum, the church & home.
Patriarchal = (maybe equal) but different roles within the church, home, and to some level society.
3 areas where a women has authority
Over their children.
Managing their households.
Over her husband’s body
Principle 1: Male headship & female submission in marriage
Principle 2: Elder’s position & function are for men only.
Principle 3: Women’s status as image bearers and “sons of God” must be upheld.
So our goal today is to avoid the two extremes when it comes to what women can and can’t do.
Two extremes—radical feminism vs. rigid patriarchalism.
Ask:
“When you hear someone say ‘a woman shouldn’t be in leadership,’ what comes to mind?”
“Is that always biblical—or sometimes cultural?”
Let’s look at what Scripture says—clearly and carefully.
Now, we’ve spend weeks looking at the passages that do teach clear boundaries for women’s roles in the home and the church,
but we also now need to look at the places where the Bible shows flexibility in permitting women to function in roles we might not expect.
But before we get into these boundaries and applications,
we need to be sure to avoid the pharisees mistake.
which is to make man-made rules around God’s rules.
and this idea comes from Exodus 19,
where the people were told not even to touch mount Sinai in preparation for God’s descent and the giving of the Mosaic Law.
And so what they did was build a fence around the mountain to prevent anyone from accidentally getting too close to it.
And it was this idea that the pharisees ran with that led them to creating all sort of fences around the law so they wouldn’t break it.
It’s why they made rules for the Sabbath day of rest, like:
No carrying items heavier than a dried fig
No writing more than one letter
No healing (unless life-threatening)
No picking grain (even to eat)
And then went further and made fences around the fences…
Places Where Scripture Shows Flexibility
Places Where Scripture Shows Flexibility
1. Women in Society
1. Women in Society
Question:
Can women serve in government?
Is Judge Judy was out of line by being a fake judge?
No, she’s not.
Even if she was a real judge.
which she isn’t…
And the reason is we see Deborah in Judges 4-5 functioning as a judge over Israel,
which is an even higher office than a judge’s in our country.
and she functioned as a judge for decades.
And there’s nothing that suggests that Deborah was a bad judge,
or that she was only a judge because no man would do it - like some patriarchalists say.
And NOT ONLY is that NOT true… but follow the logic…
Then we have to say that women can function in roles they are not permitted to IF men aren’t stepping up
and that’s actually an argument I’ve heard people say.
Oh, she’s a elder, deacon, teacher, because the men won’t do it…
But that’s just an ENDS justify the MEANS argument…
which is not at all biblical.
And you’re really going to tell me there wasn’t ONE spiritually qualified man in all of Israel…
Deborah was a part of God’s grace and deliverance for Israel.
which means that women can be in high ranking government roles over men.
They can serve in politics.
And think about it.
What’s more important?
The politics of the nation,
or the politics of the nation’s churches and homes?
The churches and homes by far!
Where that new stop sign is going to go isn’t NEARLY as important as spiritual care.
My relationship with my wife is MUCH more important than my relationship to my governor,
and the same is true with a congregant and their pastor.
So yes, women can serve in government,
and remember, not all governments were democracies or constitutional republics (like America is)
Romans 13:1 – Submission to governing authorities (including queens).
Yes Kings usually had more power,
but the queens absolutely had a high amount of authority.
Does this mean that women in government is an ideal?
That we should aim for?
Nothing suggests that at all.
And especially not if it prevents them from caring for their household and children.
That’s not a biblical ideal, that’s a feminist ideal.
Questions:
Can women have male employees?
Yes, because in the Bible we we find a woman who oversees male workers.
Also, in Ephesians 6:5 we read
5 Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ,
The fact is, there were women who owned servants - which is very different than chattel slavery like we find with the Civil War.
And Paul commands those male servants to submit to their earthly masters - which would have included both male and female masters.
Because if that wasn’t the case, don’t you think Paul would have specified that?
Of course he would have.
So if men are to have authority in all societal spheres, why are male servants encouraged to submit to male masters?
The fact is, both bosses and masters teach men how to do things when it came to their jobs.
So don’t comment on female politician's facebook pages and say: “Go home and take care of your kids!”
You don’t have to feel weird if you go to talk to the manager and it’s a woman.
It’s not in opposition of Scripture.
and I’m not saying everyone who thinks this is a Pharisee,
but they are making the same mistake as the Pharisees, by extending the fence out too far/
Before the internet age,
Either both the man and woman would work together at home - on the farm, etc.
Or the wife would manage the house and the man would go to work.
But now woman can work online as well.
But again, why would this contrary to Scripture?
Yes, if her job prevents her from caring for her family, that’s a problem.
But is it any different for husbands?
If a husband is working 70 hours a week and not caring for his wife, children, and serving his church,
That’s a huge problem as well.
Now maybe you’re a single mom and you don’t have a choice,
or as the husband, it’s a temporary short term thing,
But it’s not an ideal and will cause problems.
The point is, women aren’t commanded to just be homemakers,
But they do have to be home-prioritizers
as do the husbands, though in different ways.
In Proverbs 31, we red of the ideal woman,
which says:
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable. Her lamp does not go out at night.
She’s a hard worker.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them; she delivers sashes to the merchant.
She’s an entrepreneur.
And remember, Jesus had numerous female disciples who helped fund Jesus’s ministry and followed Him.
And Jesus never says: “STOP NEGLECTING YOUR KIDS”
Maybe her kids were already raised, we don’t know.
The biblical principle is, if you have to pick between your home and your career, pick your home.
But the Bible also shows us how you don’t actually have to pick between the two.
Sure, in a not-ideal situation, like if you’re a single mom, you may have to work more than you want to,
But you get the idea.
In my own opinion, we’ve too quickly said set aside homemaking as something embarrassing…
But it shouldn’t be!
Sure, if she’s a lazy homemaker who sleeps in until noon every day and is lazy, that’s embarrassing,
But a homemaker is a great calling from the Lord.
Our culture thinks homemaking a life that is wasted without achievements.
Problem of the two-income homes on prices/American Dream - we’ve been tricked.
I agree with Mike Winger who said roles outside of the church and marriage just aren’t nearly as important.
Alright, let’s talk about stereo types,
because there are good and bad ones.
Women are weaker than men (sports) - yes, they get crushed.
Women are wasting their lives if they are housewives? - NO - they aren’t
The bible elevates this role,
and so don’t think women need to chase their career until their 30.
So yes, some biblical stereo types are good, but, don’t make all of these principles super STRICT rules.
BUT ALSO, don’t make women serving in non-house-making roles an ideal.
There are also bad stereo types
Women are intellectually weak - nope.
Women are basically grown up children - wrong again.
Remember Abigail?
The Bible says she was more discerning than her husband.
Men aren’t emotional and can’t be sensitive?
False.
See what Paul says about his own struggles.
Questions:
Can women serve in the military, as police, as firefighters?
First off, let’s talk about the military one.
Who here is ok with transgender men playing in women’s sports?
Why not?
Because males have a HUGE advantage.
So why on earth would we send women, who are physically weaker than men, to fight against men in the army?
And as far as women police officers and firefighters,
while I don’t think the Bible outright forbids it,
is it wrong to prefer a male firefighter or police officer?
No…
because they have a distinct physical advantage that women do not.
Now if you think that’s sexist, let me ask you another question:
If you don’t know the person,
who would you rather watch your kids - a male or female?
A female for sure!
Because most sexual abuse in those scenarios happens by males - BY FAR
which is why our church policy is not let men work in the nursery.
Does the Bible say men can’t work in the nursery?
No - but when we understand men and women’s strengths and weaknesses,
it’s very obvious what we should prefer in these instances.
So me personally, I would absolutely vote for a woman as president if she was the best option on the ticket,
But, I also wouldn’t celebrate it like it was some big event for equality.
Alright, what about women serving in other non-pastor/non-deacon roles in the church?
that’s what we are going to look at next.
1. Elder = Pastor = Reserved for Qualified Men
1. Elder = Pastor = Reserved for Qualified Men
Teaching and ruling over the church is the issue (1 Tim. 3, Titus 1).
Avoid confusing titles (e.g., “pastor of women”).
Just use “Pastor/Deacon”
Or “Elder/Deacon” - because that’s what the Bible does.
Now deacon is a catch all term.
Sort of…
So can women be deacons?
Yes and no.
Phoebe in Rom. 16:1
For example,
the sound team are deacons,
The cleaning team are deacons,
The worship team are deacons,
If you’re serving the church in any official/delegated function, you’re serving in a deacon role.
But again, when it comes to the official office of deacon, that’s male only.
1 Tim. 3:11 – Female counterparts to deacons.
11 Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things.
And there’s two ways to interpret this:
“The woman in general”
or
“The deacon’s wives”
The key Greek phrase is “gunaikas hōsautōs” — literally, “women likewise.”
The key Greek phrase is “gunaikas hōsautōs” — literally, “women likewise.”
There is no possessive pronoun in the Greek (i.e., “their wives”), which is why some translations render it:
“Women likewise…” (e.g., NASB, CSB)
“Their wives likewise…” (e.g., ESV, NKJV)
Arguments for “Women = Female Deacons (Deaconesses):”
Arguments for “Women = Female Deacons (Deaconesses):”
No possessive pronoun (“their”) in the Greek
Paul could have said “their wives” (as in “autōn gunaikas”) but didn’t.
Parallel language: “likewise”
Just as in verse 8 (“Deacons likewise…”), verse 11 uses “likewise” again—suggesting a new but similar category: women who serve as deacons.
Phoebe is called a “deacon”
Romans 16:1 calls Phoebe a diakonos of the church in Cenchreae, using the masculine noun in a title context—strong evidence of a female deacon.
No requirements for elders’ wives
If Paul meant to list qualifications for deacons’ wives, it’s odd that he didn’t also list qualifications for elders’ wives earlier in the chapter (vv. 1–7).
Church history
The early church (2nd–4th centuries) recognized and utilized female deacons or deaconesses, especially for ministering to women.
Arguments for “Deacons’ Wives”:
Arguments for “Deacons’ Wives”:
Placement within the flow
The verse is sandwiched in the middle of the male deacon qualifications (vv. 8–13), which might imply it refers to their spouses.
Ambiguity of the term “gynaikas”
It can mean “wives” or “women,” depending on context—which is why translations vary.
Some early interpreters took it as wives
Though not universal, many early church fathers saw it that way—possibly influenced by their view of male-only deacons.
3 Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty.
Now, personally, I think 1 Timothy 3 is speaking of “the deacon’s wives.”
But even if I didn’t, it wouldn’t change perspective on women deacons all that much.
Because as Mike Winger says, who believes 1 Timothy 3 is speaking of female deacons,
IT DOESN’T MEAN that female deacons can do everything male deacons can do.
Because neither him or myself believe that, even though we interpret this verse slightly differently.
For example: Is Tania Melby a female deacon in our church.
Yes and No,
But mostly yes!
Because she’s functioned for years as our women’s ministry leader
or you could even say (with qualification) as a female deacon.
At the same time,
Am I going to put Tania over the men’s ministry?
No…
because that would be a ministry for a male deacon.
And so even if you disagree with me that women can’t function in the official office of deacon,
If we are both biblical complimentarians, which we should be,
I think we’d have almost 99% agreement on what this should look like in our church.
the only major difference would be whether or not the women come to the once a month office of the deacon’s meeting.
And for the record, we do plan to have our deacon’s wives - which are deacons in a sense,
come to our meetings from time to time.
But I’m not going to lead our church to ordain female deacons to the office of deacon,
because I see that being a specific male-only deacon function,
even though there are many female-only deacon functions in the church,
like women’s ministry.
nursery,
or sometimes, VBS, evangelism, etc.
So if I wasn’t a pastor, would I go to a church that has female deacons…?
Maybe…
it depends on how they spliced it all out.
because if it was driven by egalitarianism - I wouldn’t,
But, if it’s driven by a complimentarian understanding that there are deacon functions that are male only - and vice versa,
I think it would be fine.
Because there is such a thing as female deacons - like Phoebe.
Even though I believe Phoebe’s role as a female deacon did differ in part to the male deacon’s role in her church.
So my position is, in some sense, the term “deacon” is a catch all,
but in another sense, it’s not.
it’s sort of like having a women missionary.
Can women be missionaries?
Yes…
But can they function EXACTLY as a male missionary in the fullest extent?
NO.
And I get it’s hard to draw firm lines on every aspect of all of this,
but I do think the Bible does give us enough to ensure we are headed in the right direction.
Two principles for us here:
Women can and should serve abundantly in ministry.
Women should be very careful of serving in ministry in ways that all become “doing that elder thing.”
Women cannot take the TITLE or the FUNCTION of elder,
that is for men.
Does all of this make sense?
Questions?
Questions:
Can women serve as ushers?
they are directing men where to sit
They might be answering questions about small groups and how to get involved.
I think this one is easy,
of course they can.
They aren’t taking upon themself the function of elder here.
Questions:
Can women serve on the sound team?
She’s controlling the sound levels of men!
My answer is yes,
because one, the entire sound team submits to the elders instructions for running sound.
If we have a sound person who keeps cranking the music so loud we need ear-plugs and won’t stop,
they are gonna be off the sound team - because I’m going to remove them from the sound team as the elder.
same if they keep turning it down so much that you can’t hear it.
They balance the sound in light of the instructions I’ve given them.
And so this is perfectly ok for women to do.
Because if they can’t be ushers or serve on the sound team - then ask yourself,
what on earth can they do?
Questions:
Can women serve in the children’s ministry?
Yes, because the prohibition is only over men.
Questions:
Can women serve in church’s food ministries?
Yes, because it’s a serving role, not a teaching of men role in the church.
Questions:
What about in unofficial teaching moments?
Say during Sunday School, and they raise their hand and ask a question and give their opinion.
Yes, but with a humble/non-authoritative manner.
Now some guys don’t like this,
because they don’t want a women correcting them in any shape or form…
But this just your pride.
Do you have any idea bad of a pastor I’d be if I didn’t have women who gently corrected me or questioned me?
AWFUL!
Abigail brought correction to David, and he thanked her for it.
And there’s numerous examples like this in in Scripture.
So yes, women can correct bad theology online,
or even in their small group.
Questions:
Can women evangelize men?
yes.
The woman the well did a great job of this by going back and telling her village she met the Messiah,
And they came out to see Jesus.
Did she plant a church and pastor it?
No…
Same with the first eye-witnesses of the resurrection - they were all female.
And they went and told the male disciples.
The great commission is for everyone.
Questions:
What about stage evangelism?
Where a church spends all this time and effort on gathering hundreds of people to hear a woman share the gospel.
I’m gonna say no, because that seems to overlap into the official elder/teaching function of the church.
Questions:
Can women be theologians?
We already discussed this from 1 Timothy 2:11
11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.
This isn’t that they can’t make noise,
but this does show that they should learn theology.
Which is why Jesus had women disciples.
Mary and Martha…
Mary sat at the Lord’s feet learning from her Rabi, Jesus.
Questions:
Can women theologians who write a theology book that men read?
Either A. this is a pricilla type thing who taught Apollos,
Or B. this is like having women do stage evangelism.
So which is it?
I don’t know.
But at minimum, female authors shouldn’t write their theology book in a way that mimics the elder role in a person’s life.
Questions:
Can women run a theological podcast or YouTube Channel?
If it’s addressed toward’s women - then of course, go for it.
But what about if it’s more general?
Again, I’m not 100% sure.
But at minimum, don’t do it in a way that mimics the elder role,
and also, don’t make it into a little kingdom that takes away from the local church.
Questions:
Can women run a theological podcast or YouTube Channel?
The thing that makes this challenging is this isn’t the local church, or even an extension of the local church’s ministries.
And so if forbid women from writing books,
making podcasts,
or religious instagram pages.
Then how do you draw the lines with evangelism, missions, and public discourse in general?
Plus, there is a cost of having too many, unnecessary restrictions on women in ministry.
No matter where you draw the line,
it will have consequences.
And I want to draw it closer to the mountain, than further back.
Remember, we have judges, prophetess, women prophesying in the congregation,
But again, there is speaking that is elder-like and speaking that isn’t elder-like.
Questions:
How old is too old for women to teach them?
Puberty - the boy is now moving into manhood. He can physically reproduce.
But this is tough, because puberty is a process, not an event.
18 years old
But again, many 18 year olds live at home and aren’t adulting…
3. 13 years old - Judaism’s tradition - Bar Mitzvah.
By this age, a Jewish boy was considered obligated to keep the commandments (Torah).
He was now personally accountable to God for his obedience.
Before that, the father bore the legal and religious responsibility.
Jesus was found discussing Scripture in the temple at age 12, just before the transition to accountability.
This shows he was approaching manhood in Jewish eyes.
And so the reality is, we have to pick an age one way or the other.
So I personally go with the Jewish tradition of 12.
Questions:
What about teaching in any form on Sunday morning? testimonies, mission’s updates, persevering through struggling
Joni Erickson Tada - quadriplegic
I lean on the side of caution here
There are 6 other days of the week
Questions:
How about leading worship?
It depends.
Are you doing in a pastoral manner,
or as an assistant to the congregation’s worship.
Catachism
Expanding upon the truths of the text in a pastoral way.
Questions:
Can women lead small groups?
Some small groups have women who aren’t teaching, but function more as facilitators.
But almost always, they have to take the teaching role at some point.
So that’s why we have qualified men in those roles.
Questions:
Can a women the children’s ministry coordinator
They aren’t teaching men,
but men are, in some way, answering to their oversight.
Alright, some closing principles:
Both men and women are priests of God - women are co-leaders with their husbands in the home.
Women aren’t called to submit or revere all men.
This isn’t based upon intellectual capacity, or even fully based upon natural gifting.
A sense of calling to a ministry the Bible forbids isn’t justification for it.
While we need to follow the Bible’s guidelines, we can’t go beyond them and should encourage women to serve in ministry.
While we can’t figure out EVERY single aspect of this, if marriage and ministry are in tact, 99% of the rest will work itself out.
We need to accept these truths, not reluctantly, but cheerfully - LGBTQ style.
We need to change our hearts, not just our minds by loving what God loves.
The End
