Apathy: When Love Seems Distant

Growing up on a farm, I spent countless hours fishing. We had two ponds on our property: a small one by the barn that got the most use because of its convenience, and a larger 4-acre lake in our back pasture. I spent many nights out on that back lake fishing.

One night while fishing from the boat near the shore, I had dozed off and was startled awake by the pain of something raking across my face. I bolted upright only to find myself squinting through a tangle of tree limbs. During the night, the wind had picked up, the anchor I had set didn’t hold and so I slowly drifted with the wind across the entire lake and into the overhanging branches of a mesquite tree along the far bank. Obviously the fish were not biting that night.

The wind wasn't strong or violent—just subtle, steady, and persistent enough to carry me completely away from the shore where I had started.

The reason I share that with you here is because I think that experience perfectly illustrates something that caneasily happen in our spiritual life.

I mean, how many of you would admit that over time, maybe months or even years, you have become unmoored from a place of vibrant and steadfast zeal for God and have slowly drifted to a place of spiritual apathy?

To a place where your prayers feel more like duty than delight, where your Scripture reading feels more routine than revelatory, and where your worship feels hollow instead of heartfelt?

You may still go through the motions—you may still attend church, you may still pray before meals, you may still identify as a person of faith. But underneath it all, there's this gnawing sense that something vital is missing. The fire that once warmed your soul has dimmed to barely glowing embers.

Perhaps you are experiencing:

A Loss of Awe for God’s Love and Grace: God’s love no longer moves or excites you. There is a loss of joy and delight in God.

A Neglect of Spiritual Disciplines: You spend less time in prayer, Bible reading, and worship—not out of necessity, but simply because of indifference.

A Lukewarm Commitment to Obedience: You know what God commands but often choose to ignore or postpone obedience.

Casual or Hypocritical Worship: You worship becomes a routine or a performance instead of a heartfelt response to God.

A Disinterest in Spiritual Growth: You have little desire to grow in holiness, deepen your theological understanding, or pursue Christlikeness.

No Burden for the Lost or the Church: Evangelism, discipleship, and serving others feel like chores rather than privileges.

You Justify Your Sin: You rationalize sinful habits instead of confessing and repenting of them.

You Lack Generosity Towards the Work of God: If you give at all, it's as little as possible and not with a joyful and confident heart.

Impatience or Bitterness Toward God's Timing: You become cynical when prayers aren't answered or when justice seems delayed.

Misplaced Priorities and Worldly Attachments: God becomes one of many priorities, rather than the central one.

These are all signs of spiritual apathy. Can you identify with one or more of these?

Now, perhaps the most dangerous thing about spiritual apathy is how comfortable it can become. Unlike my drift across the lake, the drift into spiritual apathy doesn’t happen overnight, right? I mean, it's not like you woke up one morning and decided, "You know what, I think today I'll stop caring about God." No, our spiritual apathy is often the result of successive hours, days, months, and even years of slow, incremental movements away from God.

Someone said this about spiritual apathy…

“It's the erosion of passion, the cooling of love, the drift toward spiritual lethargy. Unlike the dramatic sins that grab headlines, apathy quietly assassinates our spiritual vitality.”- Unknown

That is so true is it not?

Well, I have good news. We are not the only ones in God’s family to experience spiritual apathy. In fact, 2500 years ago, the nation of Israel found themselves in the same dreadful place of relational complacency with God.

It was about 432 BC— and 100 years after the Israelites return from the Babylonian captivity. The temple had been rebuilt, but it was woefully inferior to the previous glory of Solomon's temple. The worship of Yahweh was re-instituted, but they were still under the thumb of the Medo-Persian empire and had to answer to a local governor—not to a Davidic king.

The economy was stagnant. Most of the city still laid in ruins. They had enemies surrounding them like the Ammonites, the Samaritans, and the Arabs—who actively opposed their rebuilding efforts. The long promised coming of a Messiah was still not yet realized. To top it off, the priesthood, the very ones God had established to point people to Him, had become infected with corruption, and their worship mechanical and meaningless.

Yes, spiritual apathy was rampant among God's people, but thankfully– he did not give up on them. Instead, He sent his prophet—Malachi, who's name actually means “His messenger” to rouse His covenant people back to a place of repentance and spiritual vitality.

Let’s turn to the Book of Malachi. It is easy to find because it is the very last book in the Old Testament. Find Matthew and then go left.

I need to nerd out here for a second and briefly identify the unique literary context into which God inspired Malachi to organize his prophecy. It is written in a “disputational” literary format. This is a technique where the author presents a dialogue between two parties—in this particular prophecy, the dialogue is between God and His people.

The dialogue follows a predictable pattern that I want you to see. First..

God makes a statement/accusation about their apathy

The people respond with a skeptical question (usually "How have we...?" or "In what way...?")

God provides evidence/explanation

God then includes a consequence or call to action

Now Malachi organizes his prophecy around six of these disputations:

The Six Disputations in Malachi

Chapter 1:1-5 - I have Loved you! “How have you loved us?"

Chapter 1:6-2:9 - You have despised My name! "How have we despised your name?"

Chapter 2:10-16 - You have acted treacherously! "Why does he not accept my offerings?”

Chapter 2:17 - You have questioned God's justice! "How have we questioned him?"

Chapter 3:6-12 - You are robbing God! "How have we robbed you?"

Chapter 3:13-4:3 - You speak against God! "What have we spoken against you?"

Today we begin our seven part series by examining the first one. It is found in Malachi 1:1-5.

I have entitled today’s sermon…

Apathy: When love seems distant.

The reason I entitled it this is because sensing that God’s love is a million miles away is, like our text today demonstrates, is a common sign of spiritual apathy.

In fact, that is the main idea of this sermon:

Main Idea: Apathy begins when we forget or minimize God's love for us.

The main question that we want to answer in our passage today is…

What is God’s solution for us feeling distant and estranged from His love?

As we read verses 1-5, notice how it is divided up. In verses 1-2a God pronounces his love, in vv. 2b-3 God’s proves his love, and in vv. 4-5 God promises his love.

Beginning in verse 1

Malachi 1:1–5 CSB

1 A pronouncement: The word of the Lord to Israel through Malachi. 2 “I have loved you,” says the Lord. Yet you ask, “How have you loved us?” “Wasn’t Esau Jacob’s brother?” This is the Lord’s declaration. “Even so, I loved Jacob, 3 but I hated Esau. I turned his mountains into a wasteland, and gave his inheritance to the desert jackals.” 4 Though Edom says, “We have been devastated, but we will rebuild the ruins,” the Lord of Armies says this: “They may build, but I will demolish. They will be called a wicked country and the people the Lord has cursed forever. 5 Your own eyes will see this, and you yourselves will say, ‘The Lord is great, even beyond the borders of Israel.’

In this passage, We see a three-fold solution to feeling distant from God’s love.

Taking note of your outline, the first one is…

I. Remember God's Love for You (vv. 1-2a; Dt. 7:7-8)

Look back at verse 1

Malachi 1:1–2 CSB

1 A pronouncement: The word of the Lord to Israel through Malachi. 2 “I have loved you,” says the Lord. Yet you ask, “How have you loved us?”

We see in these verses that God goes directly to the heart of their apathy. They had forgotten God’s love for them.

How many of you have had teenagers?

Does this conversation seem familiar:

Parent: "I love you and want what's best for you."

Teen: "How do you love me? You never let me do what I want!"

What did you say as a parent: What!? I’ve provided for you, protected you, changed your diapers, wiped your nose, paid your speeding tickets, rescued mangy strays, sacrificed sleep, food, health and even my sanity for you!

Now your love for them was not conditioned on them being cute, or pleasant, or cooperative, or convenient, or cheap, or grateful, was it? No, because they often were not. It was a choice you made every day to love your kids. If your love for your kids is unconditional, God’s is even more so.

Your teen's question “How do you love me” reveals a truth doesn’t it? Even though your love is unconditional, it reveals that they're measuring your love by immediate gratification rather than by your long-term faithfulness.

The most common complaint I hear in marriage counseling sessions isn't about dramatic betrayals, but about couples who've forgotten how much they're loved. They focus on current frustrations while forgetting years of demonstrated love and sacrifice. This is exactly what's happening in Malachi—the people are measuring God's love by their current circumstances rather than His covenantal history of love

Remember what Moses told Israel in…

Deuteronomy 7:7–8 CSB

7 “The Lord had his heart set on you and chose you, not because you were more numerous than all peoples, for you were the fewest of all peoples. 8 But because the Lord loved you and kept the oath he swore to your ancestors, he brought you out with a strong hand and redeemed you from the place of slavery, from the power of Pharaoh king of Egypt.

Remembering God’s love for you nurtures your feelings of love for Him.

I recently heard of how a couple on the brink of divorce found old love letters in a box in the closet. Reading them reminded them of the deep love that brought them together. Their love hadn't disappeared but had instead been forgotten under life's pressures.

1 John 4:19 CSB

19 We love because he first loved us.

All human love for God is responsive, not initiative. Its God's love that precedes and enables our love.

Romans 8:35 CSB

35 Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Can affliction or distress or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? … No in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

Remember God’s love for you..

Secondly on your outline, Malachi says…

II. Realize God's Choice of You (vv. 2b-3; Eph 1:4; 1 Pet 2:9; 2 Thess 2:13)

In the same way you as a parent reminds your kids of all that you do for them, God has them look back on all he had done for them.

Look at the second half of verse 2…

Malachi 1:2–3 CSB

2 “I have loved you,” says the Lord. Yet you ask, “How have you loved us?” “Wasn’t Esau Jacob’s brother?” This is the Lord’s declaration. “Even so, I loved Jacob, 3 but I hated Esau. I turned his mountains into a wasteland, and gave his inheritance to the desert jackals.”

This is one of the most theologically complex and potentially confusing passages in Malachi, so Im going to take a little time here to flesh out what is important for our sake.

Obviously, for some to hear that God hates someone is distressing. But, we must understand that in Hebrew thought, "hate" doesn't always mean emotional animosity. It often expresses comparative preference or relative choice. This is a Semitic idiom where extreme language is used to show contrast.

Hebrew Structure:

"Ahab" (loved) = to choose, prefer, select for special relationship

"Sane" (hated) = to reject, not choose, love less

Modern Parallel: When we say "I love chocolate but hate vanilla," we don't mean we have emotional hostility toward vanilla—we mean we strongly prefer chocolate.

Jesus uses the same idiom in Luke 14:26

Luke 14:26 CSB

26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, and even his own life—he cannot be my disciple.

Obviously Jesus doesn't mean literal emotional hatred toward family, or actual animosity toward parents. He means comparative loyalty—Christ must come first. When choices conflict, Christ takes priority.

God chose Jacob over Esau before they were ever born. In Genesis 25 Rebekah was pregnant with twins. During the course of her pregnancy, there was a struggle in her womb. She inquired of the Lord about it and he told Rebekah “Two nations are in your womb” (we will talk about this in a minute) and “the older will serve the younger" (Gen. 25:23) Now both Esau and Jacob were morally pathetic. Esau sold his birthright for stew (Gen. 25:29-34) Jacob received Isaac's blessing through deception (Gen. 27)

We must understand that God’s preference wasn't based on their character or choices—it was sovereignly determined before they were born or had done anything good or evil (Romans 9:11).

Contemporary Illustrations

1. The Scholarship Example A university chooses one student over another for a full scholarship—not because they hate the other student, but because they've decided to invest in this particular one. The choice benefits the chosen student and shapes their entire future.

2. The Team Captain Selection When a coach chooses one player as team captain over another, it's not because they hate the other player—they're making a strategic choice about leadership and team direction.

3. The Adoption Parallel A couple may choose to adopt one child from an orphanage over others—not because they hate the other children, but because they've decided this is the child they'll pour their love and resources into.

Now this does not mean that the decisions of the Esau’s descendants did not make them God an enemy.

The Edomites were a nation who were the descendants of Esau and who settled in the region south of the Dead Sea

Became a nation parallel to Israel's development

Persistent enemies of Israel throughout history

During the Exodus: Edom refused Israel passage (Numbers 20:14-21) 

Under David: Edom was subdued and became tributary (2 Sam. 8:13-14) 

Later periods: Continual warfare and hostility 

During the Exile: Edom gloated over Jerusalem's destruction (Psalm 137:7, Obadiah) 

In Malachi's time: Recently destroyed by Arab tribes never to be rebuilt (v. 4)

Israel: Returned from exile, temple rebuilt, nation restored

Edom: Destroyed, desolate, "the land of wickedness" (v. 4)

This historical trajectory demonstrates the long-term consequences of God's sovereign choice. They could look out from Jerusalem down on the land of Edom. Every look was a reminder of God’s choice.

The People's Question: "How have you loved us?"

God's Answer: "Look at the evidence of My choice!"

The Evidence:

Historical selection: I chose your ancestor Jacob over Esau

Continued blessing: You exist as a nation; Edom doesn't

Ongoing protection: Your enemies are destroyed; you are preserved

God’s Logic:

If God didn't love Israel, why would He have chosen them?

If His love had failed, why do they still exist while Edom is gone?

Their very survival as a people proves God's elective love.

The Key Message:

Just as Israel's post-exilic apathy didn't nullify God's election of Jacob, your spiritual struggles don't cancel God's choice of you.

I love the way Peter addresses believers in

1 Peter 2:9 CSB

9 But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his possession, so that you may proclaim the praises of the one who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light.

When you're feeling distant from God and questioning His love, remember that His choice of you wasn't based on your spiritual performance—so your current struggles don't invalidate His choice.

God's love isn't fickle or performance-based, but flows from His sovereign, gracious choice that precedes and survives our spiritual fluctuations.

The third solution to feeling distant from God’s love is…

III. Recognize God's Protection of You (vv. 4-5; Psa 121:7-8; Isa 54:17; 2 Thess 3:3)

Look at verse 4 and 5…

Malachi 1:4–5 CSB

4 Though Edom says, “We have been devastated, but we will rebuild the ruins,” the Lord of Armies says this: “They may build, but I will demolish. They will be called a wicked country and the people the Lord has cursed forever. 5 Your own eyes will see this, and you yourselves will say, ‘The Lord is great, even beyond the borders of Israel.’

Exegetical Notes

"They may build, but I will demolish” - God actively opposes those who oppose His chosen people

"Edom will be called 'a “wicked country” - Shows the futility of God's enemies opposing God’s purposes

"Your own eyes shall see this" - Promise of visible vindication for God's people

The contrast between Edom's destruction and Israel's preservation demonstrates protective love

Isaiah’wrote to Israel…

Isaiah 54:17

Isaiah 54:17 CSB

17 No weapon formed against you will succeed, and you will refute any accusation raised against you in court. This is the heritage of the Lord’s servants, and their vindication is from me.” This is the Lord’s declaration.

God’s loving protection is

Active God doesn't just love passively—He actively protects His own

The Cybersecurity Analogy Modern cybersecurity works 24/7 in the background, blocking thousands of attacks we never see. Most of God's protection happens invisibly—we only see the threats that get through, not the countless ones He deflects.

The Immune System: Medical experts estimate our immune systems fight off hundreds of potential infections daily without our awareness. Similarly, God's protection operates constantly, though we're usually unaware of the spiritual battles being fought on our behalf.

Sovereign God's protection operates at levels we can't see or understand

A Vindication: God will ultimately vindicate His people

Comprehensive Protection spans physical, emotional, and spiritual realms

Apathy creeps in when we forget. We forget His love, we doubt His choice, we miss His protection. But remembrance changes everything. When we remember, realize, and recognize God's faithful character, apathy cannot survive in the atmosphere of gratitude..."

Bringing It Home

Remember my fishing story from the beginning? I fell asleep in the boat, and the subtle wind carried me across the entire lake into those mesquite branches. When I woke up tangled in those limbs, I had a choice to make. I could stay there, frustrated and stuck, or I could back that boat out of the branches, start the motor, and navigate back to where I belonged.

The same is true for us spiritually. If you've found yourself drifting—if God's love feels distant, if your spiritual life has become routine rather than vibrant—you have a choice to make today. You can stay tangled in the branches of apathy, or you can let God's truth guide you back to where you belong.

The Way Back

God's solution isn't complicated, but it is intentional:

Remember His love for you. Not just intellectually, but practically. When did you last stop and reflected on specific ways God has demonstrated His love in your life? His love isn't based on your current spiritual temperature—it's based on His unchanging character.

Realize His choice of you. You're not an accident or an afterthought. Just as God chose Jacob before he was born, God chose you before you ever chose Him. Your spiritual struggles don't disqualify you—they remind you how much you need the very love you're questioning.

Recognize His protection of you. Even in your apathy, even in your drift, God has been actively protecting you. The temptations you didn't fall into, the disasters that didn't happen, the doors that closed for your good—these are evidences of a love that never sleeps, never stops, never gives up.

The Call Forward

Here's what I want you to do this week:

Start a "love letter" list. Every day, write down one specific way you can see God's love, choice, or protection in your life. It might be as simple as "I woke up this morning" or as profound as "He saved my marriage." But start noticing. Start remembering.

Have an honest conversation with God. Tell Him exactly how you feel—distant, confused, apathetic. He's not surprised by your spiritual condition. In fact, He's the one who diagnosed it through Malachi. Confession isn't information for God; it's honesty that opens the door for healing.

Take one step back toward shore. Maybe it's spending five minutes in prayer instead of zero. Maybe it's reading one psalm instead of skipping Scripture altogether. Maybe it's attending a small group or having a real conversation with another believer. Just one step back toward the God who has never moved away from you.

The Promise

The beautiful truth is this: while you've been drifting, God has been pursuing. While you've been questioning His love, He's been demonstrating it. While you've been feeling distant, He's been drawing near.

The God who chose Jacob, who preserved Israel, who sent Malachi to wake up His sleepy people—that same God is speaking to you today. Not with condemnation, but with invitation. Not with rejection, but with reminder: "I have loved you."

Your apathy doesn't disqualify you from God's love—it qualifies you for it. Because God's love isn't earned by spiritual performance; it's given by divine grace. And that love is strong enough to pull you out of any drift, powerful enough to untangle you from any branch, and faithful enough to guide you safely home.

Let's pray together, and let's choose to remember, realize, and recognize the love that has never let us go.

[Prayer]

Father, thank You that Your love for us isn't conditional on our spiritual consistency. When we drift, You pursue. When we forget, You remind. When we question, You answer with evidence of Your faithfulness. Help us this week to actively remember Your love, to rest in Your choice, and to recognize Your protection. Pull us back from the shores of apathy to the deep waters of relationship with You. In Jesus' name, Amen.