What to do When you get Jealous

Introduction

Last night I was watching Toy Story with Eli. (The first one)

As I watching it, it came to the part where buzz lightyear was given to Andy for his birthday.

Prior to this, Woody was Andy’s favorite toy.

Andy would always pick him up over the other toys, but now that Andy got Buzz, he didn’t want to play with Woody as much,

As time goes along, it was very noticeable that Woody was getting very jealous of Buzz because Andy wanted to play with him more.

One day, right before Andy leaves to go to Pizza Planet, his mom tells him that he can grab one of his toys.

Woody overhears this and decides to plot a way for Andy to choose him over Buzz.

He decides that he will lure buzz over to the edge of the desk that they were standing on and use the remote race car to push buzz off into the dark abyss behind the desk.

Woody thought that if Andy couldn’t find Buzz because he would be behind the desk, Andy would take him to pizza planet instead.

When Woody begins his plot, instead of knocking Buzz off the desk, he knocks him out of the window.

Realizing that he had probably just lost Buzz for good, Woody began to feel bad and his friends started accusing him of being murderer.

Jealousy and selfishness has a way with us doesn’t it.

When we let jealousy take root in our life, it usually leads to us making actions that either harm ourselves or other, and maybe even both.

Woody, let his jealousy grow in his heart until eventually it provoked him to a action that harmed himself and Buzz.

Now I know that none of yall ever get jealous or are ever selfish, but tonight this is what we are going to talk about.

Primarily we are going to be looking into the book of James to see what it says about Jealousy and selfishness, but first try to understand what exactly jealousy is by going back to the ten commandments.

What is Jealousy

Exodus 20:17 ESV

17 “You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, or his male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor’s.”

When we are talking about jealousy, it is important that we understand that it is very closely connected to coveting.

**When you get the ball, tell me what you think coveting means.**

According to the Cambridge Dictionary, coveting is wanting “to have something very much, especially something that belongs to someone else.”

Exodus 20:17 tells us that we are not supposed to be this way.

Instead Hebrews 13:5 says we are to be content with what we have.

In other words, we should not be worried about what others have.

But sometimes we do don’t we?

Give examples**

When we start coveting what other people have, we then begin to become jealous of them.

They got picked to play first string in the homecoming game and I didn’t so now I’m jealous.

So and so asked them to go to the prom and not me so now I’m jealous.

What is crazy is more times than not, when we get jealous we deny it.

Our friends ask us are you mad that so and so was picked and not you?

We say no I’m not mad, I don’t even care, meanwhile in our heads we are fuming with jealousy.

Sound familiar?

Hey, I have been there too. We all get jealous sometimes.

And what I want you to see is that usually our problem with jealousy is based on us wanting what someone else has in some way shape or form.

And remember, it does not have to be physical, we can also covet people’s talents, abilities, and social status.

We as humans have a deep problem with jealousy don’t we?

If we could define jealousy, how would ya’ll define it**

According to the Cambridge dictionary, jealousy is defined as being “a feeling of unhappiness and anger because someone has something or someone you want.”

One of the primary ways that jealousy harms us, is that when we get jealous, instead of enjoying our life, we end up getting angry and upset over something that we do not have.

Think about how much happier we would be if we could be content with what we have.

Now that we have talked about what jealousy is, lets looks at what the Bible says about it.

The Bible on Jealousy

When we search jealousy in the New Testament, the word appears 10 times. 8 out of the 10 times that the word appears it is associated with anger, rage, arguments, division, hostility, gossip, bitterness and selfishness. (Acts 5:17, Acts 13:45, Romans 13:13, 1 Corinthians 3:3, 2 Corinthians 12:20, Galatians 5:20, James 3:14,16)

One of the primary passages that talks about jealousy is James 3:13-17

James 3:13–17 ESV

13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere.

This passage is contrasting two different people:

A wise and understanding person and a jealous and selfish one.

There is distinct differences between the character of both:

The wise person has good conduct and is meek.

**Who can tell me what meekness is?**

Simply put, meekness is humble and moderate. Someone who is meek does not get enraged very easy and does not try to talk themselves up in any way. They simply live their life not trying to be a somebody but are content with who they are.

Different from the wise and understanding person, the jealous person is not these things but is walking directly opposite.

Instead of being meek, the jealous person is arrogant and emotional.

James goes on to mention that jealous has its roots in the world and the demonic. (James 3:15)

James also mentions that wisdom and understanding has its roots from above. (James 3:17)

Remember when we said earlier how jealousy when it develops inside of us it causes us to take actions that hurt ourselves and others? James mentions that where jealousy exists there is disorder and every vile practice. (James 3:16)

This is one of the primary reasons why we must strive to keep our hearts from becoming jealous. It can be the starting point in our lives to some of the worst mistakes we could ever make.

Instead of leading to every vile practice, walking in wisdom and understanding leads to purity, peace, gentleness, open-mindedness, mercy, good fruit, impartiality and sincerity. (James 3:17)

These are the kinds of qualities that should be present in our lives.

By now it is evident that we do not want to be people who walk in jealousy but instead wisdom and understanding.

So what do we do to avoid jealousy?

Galatians 5:16 says that if we walk in the Spirit then we will not fulfill the lusts of the flesh.

Since Jealousy is listed as being a work of the flesh, this verse can be directly applied to help us avoid it.

What do you all think Paul meant when he said to walk in the Spirit?**

Walking in the Spirit involves directing your life, not according to your own desires, but God’s.

Basically, it means denying yourself and submitting to the Holy Spirit’s guidance in your every day life.

That means that we have to be in constant communication with God throughout the day. When we are in constant communication with him, he speaks to us and leads us in the way he wants us to go.

So whenever we begin to get jealous, if we are walking in the Spirit, we are ready to obey the Holy Spirit and put away that jealousy.

We have to intentional. We cannot just let our emotions and thoughts run wild. We have to direct them all in a Godly manner and this is hard to do sometimes. But God promises that he is there to help us when we are tempted, and he will not allow us to be tempted beyond what we can handle. (1 Corinthians 10:13)