Bankhead Wedding

Homily (Personality allowed)

Garrett and Haley, Words can not describe the privilege it is for me to be able to stand up here with you both today, as you join one another in this sacred covenant of marriage.

Likewise, words cannot describe the privilege it has been for my wife Joy and I to encounter you both during our many premarital counseling sessions over the past few months.

Well done for your preparation for this day, I stand here fully confident in you both,

not because I experienced you guys to be perfect,

no one is perfect,

but because I experienced you both as being eager to lean into the one who is perfect, who has promised to never leave and never forsake you.

Haley and Garrett found one another when they were not looking.

(illustration)Like a hallmark christmas movie where a Texas girl moves to california to help take care of her grandparents and lo and behold, finds her a cowboy: neither was looking for love, but love found them. (IS THIS TRUE?) (The script writes itself).

Haley and Garrett, After you both experienced seasons of great pain, and were both individually being drawn ever nearer to the God whom your souls were created to be satisfied in,

you found one another.

As God was drawing you both nearer to him, in his providence, he was drawing your paths nearer to one another and at this intersection, this junction that was no coincidence, you met, with your hearts pointed in the same direction, upward.

And as a result of this intersection , your lives have been changed forever.

It was revealed to me in pre-martial counseling that Haley thought that Garret was, and I quote “The hottest guy on the face of this Planet”

and she was amazed to find someone who was potentially funnier than she was. She didn't think this was possible.

Haley was drawn to how Garrett carried himself as a man and his qualities as a leader.

Garrett you shared with us how you had come to a place where you had given the desires of your heart over to God…..

to walk through that door marked trust.

Not long after this, the Lord who cares so deeply for you …….brought Haley into your life.

How providential.

(You shared that it felt right before even talking to her, and then proceeded to talk with her for 8 hours straight.

That has to be some kind of “first encounter” record. (reword)) Flourish this part big time *smitten*

*Garrett set his focus upon you* *He doesnt just fall into things* *Thoughtful and intentional* *They talk about everything, they are so committed to knowing each other*

I know my personal experience from interacting with you as a couple has revealed what I perceive as a a genuine admiration for one another,

a willingness to enter into hard things together

and a consistent pattern of choosing the good of the other, over and above yourself.

It is clear that God has made you both uniquely in His image to express and reveal particular things about Him to one another and to those around you.

You guys are not the exact same, yet you compliment one another beautifully.

The love that you have for one another has been so very evident, Praise God.

Today though, I want to remind you what a hero of mine once said.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer was a German Pastor whom was martyred in WWII , and he reminded his friends of something very important when he preached at their wedding as a young pastor,

he told them “ Today you are young and very much in Love, and you think that your love can sustain your marriage. It can’t. Let your marriage sustain your love.”

In other words, it is this promise you are making to one another today that is the foundation for all that comes after. A promise that holds weight. A promise that you draw the “strength to love”.. from.

To some this may seem burdensome. relying on a promise made, rather than a feeling?

That sounds difficult.

But I can tell you from personal experience, there is no greater freedom than living on the sturdy footing of a promise that cannot be broken.

*ADD SOME MORE ABOUT THE PROMISE, ABOUT GODS COVENANT

The sturdiness of this promise ,made between two fallen but redeemed followers of Christ, before their heavenly Father, makes space for marriage to be God’s greatest instrument of sanctification.

Again, I can attest to this from experience.

As Pastor Paul Washer put so well,

“How would you ever learn unconditional love, if you were married to someone who met all the conditions?

How would you ever learn mercy, patience, long-suffering, and heart-felt compassion if you were married to someone who never failed you?

Who is never difficult with you?

Who never sinned against you?

Who is never slow to to acknowledge their sin or ask for forgiveness?

How would you ever learn grace, to pour out your favor on someone who did not deserve it, if you were married to someone who was always deserving of all good things?

The main purpose of marriage is that through your marriage, you both become conformed to the Image of Jesus Christ.”

Marriage, God’s greatest instrument of sanctification.

And this image of Jesus Christ, what does that look like?

Garrett, Haley…. we talked a lot about this over the past few months.

To be conformed to the image of Christ is to pour yourself out in sacrificial love.

Jesus tells us in John 15:13

“Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.”

The apostle John then clarifies for us in 1 John 3:16 when he says…

“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”

This biblical description of love is so simple to define yet so hard to live out.

Because it bids us to come and die for the good of the other.

Even the small and seemingly insignificant deaths of considering your spouses preferences in the mundanity of everyday life.

(real life examples)

-its listening even when you are wore out from a long day

-its deciding to sit down and do the budget together because one of you is stressed about finances.

-its being the first one to apologize after an argument.

-its not assuming the worst possible intentions of the other person

-its patience when you just want to fix

All of these are examples of ways that we are called to die to self, and this isn’t easy.

But I have got some good news.

Garrett, Haley….. you were made for this.

This is how you were created to function.

(Example) Horse? funny?

The life and example of Jesus christ shows us how humans were made to function. Throughout the gospels we see Jesus pouring himself out for the good of others in sacrificial love, even to the point of death.

You both were created for this.

You want to hear some even better news?

You don’t have to pour yourself out in sacrificial love on your own. In fact, it is impossible.

You, Garrett, need a power from outside of yourself to practice this love, to keep this covenant, to die to self.

Likewise, you Haley, need a power from outside of yourself to practice this love, to keep this covenant, to die to self.

You both desperately need Jesus.

But do not be forlorn, For you have a Savior that delights in coming to your aid, not only in your salvation while you were dead in your sins, but also in your moment by moment reliance on Him as you both seek to love as He loves.

He has in dwelt you with the Holy Spirit to be a helper, comforter and encourager.

You may not always feel his nearness, But He has made a covenant promise with each of you that, as the kids say, “stands on business”. His promise to you both ,is a promise that can and will never be broken.

He sustains you and his steadfast love endures forever for each of you. What a sweet relief.

It is by drawing from this never ending wellspring of love that you both will have anything to pour out to one another.

Surrender to this love and it will poor through you to one another. As a conduit, like treasure being passed through broken earthen vessels.

This, Garrett and Haley, is the only way.

And this is true not only for this radiant bride and groom.

But for all of us here today. Wether in the context of our marriages, or our lives in general.

The only way for our life to work the way it was intended to work, is in Christ. Being conformed to his image by a power from outside of ourselves.

Are you in a hard season in your marriage? Are you in a hard season in life? Place your trust in a power from outside yourself that you may be rescued, that you may be formed into the image of Jesus, that you may pour out your heart in sacrificial love for the good of the other. This is what you were made for. He invites us all.

Jesus tells us in Matthew 11

“come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

This is my charge to you Garrett and Haley, Come unto Jesus, when things are good and when things are bad.

When praises come easy and when you are weary and burdened,

He will deliver the rest your soul so desperately thirsts for.

He will deliver that living water that fills you to the brim so that you may pour over on to one another out of that abundance.

This is the Savior that you are making this promise before today, a Savior who delights to be your help.

May you each surrender to this help that he lavishes on his beloved. (REWORD)

(Joy Question- is it a covenant before God or a covenant with God.)