Fruit of the Womb

A Child

What is a child? A tiny human. A “mini-me.” The future generations. The future of the church. Gearing up to having my son and the events surrounding his birth got me really thinking about children, their purpose, and my responsibility to them. This led to several discussions with friends and even my wife who encouraged me to put in paper some of the things I have studied. Well that’s what this is, the condensed version of what I have studied.

Many people take their children for granted. Some people live their dreams through their kids. Some feel entitled to their children. These are people that love God, that love the church, but have their own thoughts towards them been misconstrued?

We can see through the scriptures how children are viewed. Hannah begged for a child with a barren womb. Abraham and Sarah skirted God’s plans to have the promised child ahead of His schedule. Mary rejoiced at the coming Messiah through her womb, the child who would be Emmanuel. They are precious, desired, and a blessing in our human eyes, but how are they truly to be treated and how does God see them?

Whose Are They?

My son carries 3 names that my wife and I agreed upon. His first name is one that my wife and I really liked. His middle name is one of my grandfather’s middle name. His last name, well that’s my last name. Funny enough, my last name is not the one I was born with. When I was 10, my step dad adopted me. My parents asked if I wanted him to adopt me and I said yes. It would be this long ordeal of my biological father giving up rights, court proceedings, and meetings; but on August 26th, 2006, I no longer was Noah Horne, but Noah Jones. At that moment, I, legally, became my dad’s son. I carried his name at that point. He was responsible for me, legally, spiritually, and financially until I became an adult. My son carries this name that I was given. I am legally, spiritually, and financially responsible for him until he becomes an adult. Really until he get’s married but that’s another conversation for another time. But here’s the thing, even though I am responsible for him, even though he carries my last name, and even though I will feed, clothe, and house him for the next 18 years minimum: He is not mine.

There are many people that believe that because they raised their children, they own them and they are owed by their children. But here’s the thing, when you view children as possessions you expect this. It’s like a car. I pay the purchasing price, registration, insurance, and repairs, therefore the car needs to do what I want it to. Then there’s the recent adage: “I paid for the whole speedometer, I am going to use the whole speedometer.” The truth of the matter is this: You do not own your kids.

Children are a privilege, not a right. They are not something you are entitled to. They were given to me by someone higher than me. I was entrusted with these small precious creations as a blessing. Psalm 127 gives us an idea of what children are. We are very familiar with verses 4-5 concerning arrows, quivers, and warriors, but the real connection is in verse 3. Psalm 127:3 “3 Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward.” Many people see children as their legacy, but the truth is that children are the legacy of God. They come from Him and are a blessing from Him. They are the reward from him. When Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 3, “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase,” he attributes the increase to a blessing from God. That is what a child is. An increase in our family as a blessing from God.

One day when we die, we will leave something behind to our descendants. This is called a heritage, something that is left behind or bestowed to someone else. That is what a child is. They are not something that I worked for. They are not something I paid for. They are something that I have been given from God. This is seen through several sentiments in the Old Testament. When Job loses everything, including his children, he says in Job 1:21 “21 And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”” Job had been blessed with 10 children, seven sons and three daughters and they all died in a whirlwind. Just losing one child is devastating enough, but to lose all your children is a travesty. We get to the end of the book of Job and God returns all of Job’s possessions 2 fold. 14,000 sheep, 6,000 camels, 1,000 yoke of oxen, and 1,000 female donkeys! Since Job had all of this restored 2 fold, that means he had 20 kids right? Wrong. He fathered seven more sons and three daughters. And we know that these are new children because Job gave them names. Why? Because children are an inheritance from God, meaning they belonged to Him first and one day they will be passed on. More on the latter will be said, but let’s focus on they were God’s first.

There are two verses that discuss God knowing us before we were born. The first is Jeremiah 1:5 “5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”” God relays this to Jeremiah as he is about to be one of the last prophets before Judah is exiled into Babylon. What this verse shows is that our God is personal. He sees and knows us even before conception. He knows the soul before it enters this shell called a body! The problem with this verse is that it is not written to us or about us. It was said to Jeremiah about Jeremiah because he was the one consecrated to be a prophet to the nations. But that doesn’t mean our God doesn’t know us.

The Psalms share a lot of beautiful things. Things about God, things about us, things about the world, and yet the verses we’re about to look at share two of these very clearly: God designed us intimately. David writes Psalm 139 describing how God intimately knows our thoughts and our ways, even asking for God to know our thoughts, and smack dab in the middle of the Psalm, David describes how God designed us. Psalm 139:13–14 “13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.” When I hear the word knitted I always imagine a grandma somewhere with knitting needles working painstakingly on a quilt or a piece of clothing. But it’s not just the fact that our God designed us intricately (vs. 15), we are His work. This is reminiscent of creation of where God rested on the seventh day from His works, which included creating mankind (Gen. 2:2-3; Heb. 4:10). God created us knowing our very being. As our creator, we are His. Each and every single person has originally belonged to Him. He then rewards us with His heritage. You don’t reward something to someone that you do not already own, otherwise it’s just returning property that was already yours, which I guess you could call theft. Who would be dumb enough to accuse God of theft? The point is, I do not own my kids, I am simply a steward of them.

You Let Go of Arrows

An Olympic arrow flies at the speed of 150 miles per hour, or 225 feet per second. How feasible would it be that you could shoot an arrow and then catch it? Yet this is how some people treat their children. We will craft them, notch them, wait for the wind to be perfect, and release the arrow just to chase after it as if we did not really want to let it go. Psalm 127:4 “4 Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.” We must understand that arrows are meant to be launched. There is a concept that is so often forgotten in our modern world and it is the phrase “leave and cleave.” It is stated in Matthew 19:5 when Jesus is asked about divorce, but even this is a quote from the beginning, not a new concept. Genesis 2:22–24 “22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” When God created Adam, He saw that Adam was missing something, a helpmate. So God creates Eve from Adam’s rib and the pair are the first husband and wife and the writer drops this truth bomb of how God designed a family. A man and a woman marry, they raise kids, and when the kids get married, they no longer are the responsibility of mom and dad, rather they no longer belong to mom and dad. A husband then belongs to his wife and a wife belongs to her husband. That couple will one day have kids and then their kids will leave and get married, continuing the cycle. Humans have been very tribalistic for a long time, and even today, new families are stretched thin of whose extended family do we spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day, and Father’s Day with. Some parents place unnecessary burdens on their children expecting them to toe the line of tradition by calling it respect. If you don’t celebrate with us, you don’t respect us. If you don’t raise your kids the same way, you don’t respect us. If you cater to how we think you should run your family, you don’t respect us