A Brother Offended

Introduction:

Imagine a battleship that is functioning correctly. Everyone has a job and all of the jobs work together to accomplish the unified mission of the ship. It is a beautiful sight to behold and each member of the crew functions like a well oiled machine.

The only thing is that machines have no feelings and are not interpersonal beings. I cog in a wheel can turn relentlessly and never care that it is not the steering wheel or the captain of the ship. It simply exists to be a cog in the wheel.

This is not the case with people and the church. We have feelings and we tend to not do our jobs well or long to do someone else’s job. We get our feelings hurt and start to think that we can do a better job than someone else can do. People offend us and it is not easy for us to get over it. Often times these things can happen from someone who never even knows that they have hurt another member.

When this happens, it can lead to people abandoning their stations and the church can implode. The battleship is not in danger of sinking and taking a whole bunch of people down with it.

What do we do when a brother is offended? What are the proper steps that a person should take to seek to reconcile with a member who has been offended. We are going to take a look at this today as we continue to study the right attitude that we must have in the Kingdom.

Matthew 18:15–20 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

Pray

Context of the teaching discourse

1. The Goal (v.15)

Matthew 18:15 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

The goal is reconciliation, but not peace at any cost

2. The Steps (vv.15-17)

Step 1: Go to the Individual (v.15)

Matthew 18:15 ESV

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.

Step 2: Bring Along Some Help (v.16)

Matthew 18:16 ESV

16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses.

These witnesses are to be people who can help and who are trustworthy

This is in keeping with the Old Testament command to establish a matter by the testimony of at least 2 witnesses.

Deuteronomy 19:15 ESV

15 “A single witness shall not suffice against a person for any crime or for any wrong in connection with any offense that he has committed. Only on the evidence of two witnesses or of three witnesses shall a charge be established.

Step 3: Bring It Before the Church (.17)

Matthew 18:17 ESV

17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

The whole body is to be summoned together to give counsel and seek to bring resolution to the matter.

Step 4: Expel the Offender (v.17)

Matthew 18:17 ESV

17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

The offender is the one in the wrong in this case and has been unrepentant.

The Steps that have been followed

Personal Appeal - did not work

A small group of mediators has been called - still did not work

The entire body of believers has weighed in - the offender won’t budge

At this point the offender has ignored the entire counsel of the body of Christ. It is not a single person that has a different opinion, it is the whole counsel of believers.

The person is acting as an unbeliever. There is the possibility that they are saved, but they must acknowledge that they are not acting like believers. Also, if they were to not be a true believer, this is the best thing that could happen for the offender to be called out and understand his true standing with God.

3. The Authority of the Church (vv.18-20)

Matthew 18:18–20 ESV

18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

What authority does the church have to do this?

They have the authority that comes from Christ. He extends the authority given to Peter to the whole church in binding and loosing. He promises to be present with the church giving His approval to godly disciplinary procedures.

Conclusion

Perhaps today as we have been discussing discipline, that word has raised the hair on the back of your neck and you have found yourself being a little offended by this. We naturally bristle up at the thought of discipline.

Some people might think that it’s not fair, but that is because of sin. The truth is that the Bible tells us that discipline is a sign of God’s love for us.

Job 5:17 says,

Job 5:17 ESV

17 “Behold, blessed is the one whom God reproves; therefore despise not the discipline of the Almighty.

and again in Proverbs 3:11-12

Proverbs 3:11–12 ESV

11 My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline or be weary of his reproof, 12 for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights.

You see, the reason we tend to get upset at the thought of discipline is because of our guilty conscience. We have a desire for self-preservation. This is also why so many people don’t discipline their children. They don’t want others to judge them, so they chose not to be authoritative.

This happens in churches that let sin go unchecked as well. The leadership do not take matters of sin seriously enough to confront the wayward members because they have hidden skeletons in their closet.

Paul called out the Corinthian church for failing to discipline.

1 Corinthians 5:6–7 ESV

6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed.

You see sin is serious. We have to deal with sin or it grows when it is unchecked. We must be putting sin to death in the flesh.

Sin is a danger that many people fail to acknowledge and it is worse than a cancer. It will spread like wildfire and eat up a church.

It harms the witness of the church and is counter to the gospel.

When we are disciplined, it is a grace of God. We ought to rejoice that God loves us enough to discipline us (Hebrews 12:7-11 - God is treating us as His children).

But lest we think that God is a father that is waiting to wack us, we must remember that God knows the terrible destruction of sin. This is the reason that God sent Jesus to bear the full brunt of His wrath on the cross.

You see, we can have one of two options. We can have God’s righteous anger poured out on us in the form of His wrath, or we can have His loving discipline that seeks to teach us from our mistakes and guide us back onto the path of life.

Jesus came and died on the cross to bear the full weight of God’s wrath towards sin on the cross. When we trust in Christ, we no longer need to fear divine wrath. However, God loves us enough not to let us remain in sin. He will discipline us with the aim of correcting our behavior.

God does this by using His church. This is why church membership is so important to us. For those who are not members of a local church, there is not authority that you have submitted yourself under to help guide you when you sin. You are on your own and left o the wolves because the church does not have the authority over you to discipline you.

It is also a state that is much like that of an orphan with no family. You may be saved, but you live your life without a proper family structure to lovingly look after you.

When a church fails to follow the God-ordained role of being keepers of souls and guiding them, including it’s own leadership, with loving discipline, it lets sin run amuck and destroys the lives of the people who have entrusted themselves to the church.

We must turn to Christ and repent and believe on Him. His sacrifice was too costly for us to anything else.