Building a Godly Family
Notes
Transcript
Handout
Last week we saw that in the Journey of Life of Faith, that Failure is not the Finality.
Last week we saw Jacob deceiving his father for his birthright blessing. Through this deception, he lost both of his parents and his brother Esau was furious, wanting him dead.
However, the good news is that Jacob went into a place called Luz, meaning seperation.
Jacob was separated from his family, and Jacob was separated from God for trying to do what God already said He would do.
However all alone, as a fugitive, Jacob found God. God revealed His presence to Jacob in a dream. Gave him a pardon through Jesus Christ, and issued His precious promises of protection and provisions. Jacob was so revived that he renamed Luz, Bethel, the house or gate of God.
This morning, we see Jacob picking up his feet and heading north 400 miles to fulfill the request of Abraham and Isaac, to find a wife of his own people and not a wife of the Canaanites.
1 Then Jacob went on his journey, and came into the land of the people of the east.
For lack of time this morning, I am not going to read every scripture, but I encourage you to do so this week. However, I will paraphrase or tell the story as we move along.
In verse 2
2 And he looked, and behold a well in the field, and, lo, there were three flocks of sheep lying by it; for out of that well they watered the flocks: and a great stone was upon the well’s mouth.
Now that is a familiar word in the book of Genesis. If you remember back, a well signified ownership of the out lying land of the desert. It showed God’s blessings and approval on the individual that found water in this desert place.
By this well, we discover 3 flocks of sheep lying and waiting for the shepherd to open the well so that the sheep can drink.
I can’t read this and not think of, especially right after being introduced to the Son of God standing on the ladder in the previous chapter.
1 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside the still waters.
As the sheep are taking a drink of water from the well, Jacob asked the men, “Where are you from.”
The men replied, Haran.
Hey, that is where Jacob is heading. That is where Abraham from with his wife Sarah. and his father, Isaac, returned to find Rebekah, his wife.
Jacob asks, “if any of them knew Laban the son of Nahor?”
Now,
27 Now these are the generations of Terah: Terah begat Abram, Nahor, and Haran; and Haran begat Lot.
He was Abraham’s nephew.
Nahor marries Milcah.
20 And it came to pass after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, Behold, Milcah, she hath also born children unto thy brother Nahor;
21 Huz his firstborn, and Buz his brother, and Kemuel the father of Aram,
22 And Chesed, and Hazo, and Pildash, and Jidlaph, and Bethuel.
23 And Bethuel begat Rebekah: these eight Milcah did bear to Nahor, Abraham’s brother.
…and Rebekah was Jacob’s mother that loved him more than his brother Esau.
…but also Laban.
20 And Isaac was forty years old when he took Rebekah to wife, the daughter of Bethuel the Syrian of Padan-aram, the sister to Laban the Syrian.
Now, we know why he was asking for Laban. Laban is his uncle, the brother of his mother.
Wow, don’t you just love genealogies?
I am also that God finally condemned these marriages to try to simply these relationships where they are their wife but also their half sister and such.
Anyway, back to the story.
The men reply, “We know Laban.”
Jacob asks, “Hows he doing?.”
The men reply, “Great, As a matter of fact, here comes his daughter, Rachel, with the sheep.”
10 And it came to pass, when Jacob saw Rachel the daughter of Laban his mother’s brother, and the sheep of Laban his mother’s brother, that Jacob went near, and rolled the stone from the well’s mouth, and watered the flock of Laban his mother’s brother.
Overcome to actually be with physical family, flesh and blood, brought out by using the phrase, “Laban his mother’s brother” three times.
The emotions get the best of him.
Jacob responds.
11 And Jacob kissed Rachel, and lifted up his voice, and wept.
Now, kissing Rachel was a family custom to greet each other with a kiss. However, Jacob just kisses Rachel before informing her that he was family. To her, he is just a man watering her sheep.
He immediately lifts his voice and weeps. I believe trying to ward off the proverbial slap of the face and the attack of her friends and relatives.
12 And Jacob told Rachel that he was her father’s brother, and that he was Rebekah’s son: and she ran and told her father.
Problem diverted for the moment.
13 And it came to pass, when Laban heard the tidings of Jacob his sister’s son, that he ran to meet him, and embraced him, and kissed him, and brought him to his house. And he told Laban all these things.
See, the kiss was a family thing, not a sexual thing.
Laban now asks Jacob to hang around for a while as they get to know each other.
Now, we are not sure of everything that Jacob told Laban about his situation, but having just entered into a relationship with God, he must have shared everything. The part about coming back to his father’s family to find a wife and the part of fleeing for his life and the testimony of how God has provided a family for him.
Because, Laban accepts him, and after a month, and Jacob appearing not to be ready to leave anytime soon,
14 And Laban said to him, Surely thou art my bone and my flesh. And he abode with him the space of a month.
15 And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou art my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what shall thy wages be?
Apparently, Jacob is working for Laban and not getting any wages and he is a family member.
When Isaac came, it was just for a few days, with many servants and gifts to acquire a bride.
Jacob didn’t come with anything but himself. He had no gifts, no dowry to secure a bride. And now, Jacob has hung around for a month and is working for Laban.
Since his purpose for coming to find a wife, the scripture now mentions Laban’s 2 daughters.
16 And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.
17 Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured.
And then we come to the truth of the matter.
18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
Remember, Laban is asking about wages.
Jacob needs a wife.
Jacob wants the younger, beautiful and well favored Rachel.
So, Laban responds,
19 And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.
Arkansas paraphrase, “I’d just as soon you get her as to lose her to whomever.”
20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
After seven years of service, now came the time for payment. The Wedding.
2 things make a marriage legal.
1 - A Covenant.
22 And Laban gathered together all the men of the place, and made a feast.
My daughter is now off the market. She is marrying Jacob.
2 - A Consummation.
23 And it came to pass in the evening, that he took Leah his daughter, and brought her to him; and he went in unto her.
25 And it came to pass, that in the morning, behold, it was Leah: and he said to Laban, What is this thou hast done unto me? did not I serve with thee for Rachel? wherefore then hast thou beguiled me?
7 Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
26 And Laban said, It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn.
27 Fulfil her week, and we will give thee this also for the service which thou shalt serve with me yet seven other years.
28 And Jacob did so, and fulfilled her week: and he gave him Rachel his daughter to wife also.
Jacob spent 7 days with Leah and then Laban gave him Rachel with the understanding that he would work another 7 years for her.
Leah was given a handmaid,
24 And Laban gave unto his daughter Leah Zilpah his maid for an handmaid.
Rachel was given a handmaid.
29 And Laban gave to Rachel his daughter Bilhah his handmaid to be her maid.
Over the course of this next 7 years, 6 sons and a daughter were born to Leah.
Leah birthed
Reuben
Simeon
Levi
Judah
4 sons were born to the 2 handmaids.
Bilhah - Rachel’s handmaid births
Dan
Naphtali
Zilpah - Leah’s handmaid births
Gad
Asher
Leah - bares 2 more sons
Issachar
Zebulun
daughter named Dinah.
and finally 1 son was born to Rachel by the name of Joseph.
Rachel
Joseph
Benjamin
Later, after returning from Canaan, Rachel gives birth to Benjamin.
So, during these 14 years, Jacob becomes the father to 12 sons and 1 daughter.
Wow, now that is a family.
Now, that brings us to to the title of the message, Building a Godly Family.
Why do I say Godly Family?
Because these 12 sons would be recognized as the heads of the twelve tribes of Israel, which will become Jacobs new name when he returns to Bethel on the way back home.
Now, God is beginning to expand the promise to Abraham that He would become a great nation of a great number of people.
Abraham had 1 son of promise and 1 son of promiscuity.
Isaac had twin sons, Jacob and Esau.
and
Jacob has 12 sons and 1 daughter.
Without getting into the craziness and drama of how these children were born unto 4 different women, I want you to see the materials needed to build a godly family.
1 Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
Notice very quickly this morning.
Let me remind you that the life of faith is not based on perfection, but faith.
The Presence of God:
The Presence of God:
Before Jacob found a wife, Jacob found God, or truthfully and more theologically sound was the God found Jacob, at Bethel.
Last week at Bethel, we saw
Jacob’s Commitment to God.
Jacob’s Commitment to God.
Home Worship: He Built an Alter to God.
Home Worship: He Built an Alter to God.
18 And Jacob rose up early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put for his pillows, and set it up for a pillar, and poured oil upon the top of it.
A family that has a father worshipping at home will not forsake worshipping together at church.
I am not talking pew warmers. I am talking active participants. Working and Supporting.
20 And Jacob vowed a vow, saying, If God will be with me, and will keep me in this way that I go, and will give me bread to eat, and raiment to put on,
21 So that I come again to my father’s house in peace; then shall the Lord be my God:
22 And this stone, which I have set for a pillar, shall be God’s house: and of all that thou shalt give me I will surely give the tenth unto thee.
Stewardship: He Pledged a Tithe to God.
Stewardship: He Pledged a Tithe to God.
Tithing is putting God in charge of your finances.
You are trusting Him to provide for your needs.
Tithing doesn’t mean you will be wealthy or sheltered from bad circumstances, but it does mean you have the peace and power and purpose that come from being obedient to God.
If you are going to build a home for God or a nation for God, as Jacob was doing, then there must be Worship and Stewardship.
Father’s you need to lead with you words and actions.
When you are Committed to God, then
God’s Commitment to Jacob:
God’s Commitment to Jacob:
15 And, behold, I am with thee, and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest, and will bring thee again into this land; for I will not leave thee, until I have done that which I have spoken to thee of.
God’s presence needs to be something that is genuine and powerful.
Listen to this for just a moment:
1 out of 3 marriages end in divorce.
1 out of 40 marriages end in divorce where both are actively involved in church.
When Christ is involved in our lives, He is working to make us humble, teachable, self sacrificing and loving. When you have these attributes in couples lives, you don’t see divorce. Divorce happens where there is boasting, non learning, selfish and neglectful couples.
In Christ, we are new creations.
Christianity is a lifestyle. It is not just on Sunday or by obeying a few rules and rituals.
Christianity is the indwelling of God in your life that gives life more abundantly and joy unspeakable.
We need families where Christ is in them. You not only need to be committed to God but you need to know that God is committed to you.
The Providence of God.
The Providence of God.
Did you notice that when Jacob arrived in Haran it was just at the right time, in just the right place, to meet just the right family. As a matter of fact, Rachel even appears with her father’s sheep.
We would say, man he was lucky. However, luck is chance. You roll dice long enough and you will roll the number you need. However, Jacob was Blessed.
Blessed is the providence of God. Jacob did not have to keep rolling the dice. God already had everything laid out for Jacob to just walk in a watch God perform what only God can do.
God has a partner picked out for you and you should obey Him and trust Him to lead you to him or her.
The 2nd problem we have with the failure of marriages is our manipulation of the providence of God.
Young people, trust God for your mate.
What about those of you sitting here thinking you didn’t get the spouse God wanted for you. God can and will clean up our messes and mistakes and make something beautiful out of them.
In order for you to have a successful and productive family, you need the PRESENCE OF GOD and the PROVIDENCE OF GOD, but thirdly you need
The Power of Love.
The Power of Love.
20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
The Greeks had four words to define love.
“eros” for physical love between a man and a woman.
“phileo” for love between brothers and friends.
“Storge” for family love.
“Agape” for God’s kind of sacrificial love.
A successful marriage will have all four.
Physical attraction is important - Don’t let getting dolled up and courting your partner.
“Phileo” learn to enjoy each other’s company, become friends.
“Storge” Family takes precedence over everything but God.
“Agape” Both husband and wife put every other family members needs above their own.
As you look at the definitions of love, you will quickly discover that love is more doing than feeling.
1 Cor 13 informs us that love is patient, kind, humble, forgiving and so forth, making love something you do!
Feelings always should follow doing!
So, you need the Presence of God, you need the Providence of God, you need the Power of Love and lastly, You need
The Perseverance of Determination.
The Perseverance of Determination.
The Determination to Persevere. You need to be willing to fight for your family.
Problems will come to your home. Do not be willing to throw in the towel.
If you think your family has problems, just look at Jacob’s family.
He had in-law problems with Laben.
He had a sin problem that was easily brought to the forefront when Laban tricked Him into marry Leah first.
He had women problems, 2 wives and 2 concubines.
He had spiritual problems; Rachel was barren and Jacob was angry and God seemed disinterested.
On top of all that, He had 13 children. Do you think Jacob had some parental problems.
A “problem-less” home is a fantasy.
There are many problems that every family battles. you know, the big ones. Money, Work, Sex, in-laws and children.
However, in our society today we have added some more. The working mother, the jobless father, the influence of television and social media, the new morality, the threat of drugs and addictions, and a growing disillusionment with the institution of marriage itself.
What is the answer?
40 Thus I was; in the day the drought consumed me, and the frost by night; and my sleep departed from mine eyes.
41 Thus have I been twenty years in thy house; I served thee fourteen years for thy two daughters, and six years for thy cattle: and thou hast changed my wages ten times.
You must be willing to work and to fight for your homes.
If you want to have a successful family, then you must put Christ first. This comes through a permanent commitment with Him. This happens when you are active in Church. You need Christian friends and you need Christian indoctrination of Christian values and principles.
When you put Commitment to Christ first, then you can Commit to making you marriage work. Lose the word divorce from your vocabulary and build a Christian home.
Are you willing to put in the work of the presence of God and the power of love on full display with a perseverance that will fight to the end?
If you will do that the Journey of life will be one of Joy and Fulfillment.
