Increase - Favor

Hey it’s friend day! The first Sunday of the month we just like to encourage everyone to bring a friend to church so if you are a friend here today thanks so much for being here. I really didn’t do it intentionally, but today’s sermon fits well with friend day because we are gonna talk about being a good friend. Maybe a little bit more than that, but it is quite a big part of it. We have been in a series about personal growth modeled by the life of Jesus in this small verse at the end of Luke 2. We’ve said it the last two weeks but we will answer this question again. What do we know about how Jesus grew between 12 and 30? We know he became wise enough to teach, he was healthy enough to lead, and gained favor enough to manage relationships.

MIND BODY RELATIONSHIPS, We can’t separate our being on this side of heaven, and these three aspects are key…Week one we said Jesus increased in Wisdom, that’s mind, last week was stature and we discussed health, this week is favor with God and people, that’s relationships!

Let’s get our verse on the board for reference.

Luke 2:52 “And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and people.”

Let’s get some participation going this morning. Who’s ever sinned? Yeah yeah yeah get the hands up… hands down. Who’s ever got away with it? You know run a light, speed limit, brought some office supplies home because you were going to work from home anyhow? Yeah we obviously get away with some sin, at least in the sense that we aren’t getting caught by other people. We have secret sins maybe some we’ve pulled off for days… for weeks… for months… for years! We will probably take some to the grave. King David said God if you would keep account of sins, who could stand? Aren’t you glad that God shows us grace? We are going to use grace and favor interchangeably today. Aren’t you glad He doesn’t throw lightning bolts every time we sin? But we can’t just keep going with it right? As humans we were made in such a way… and sin is such a disease… that when we start to dabble we acquire a taste, we acquire a taste and it turns into an appetite, then our appetite grows into a strong desire maybe even addiction and consequences follow in a myriad of ways. But we don’t want to continue in sin just so grace may continue to be given, Paul actually responded to this saying, GOD FORBID, and though you think you’ve continued to get away with that sin, eventually God will forbid.

Good news though the same Paul that said this, said He was the chief of sinners, He said this when He was at His apparent best. So I bet we might still have a few things to work out.

I started with this introduction to make sure we set our perspective to a proper place of needing God’s grace, and needing to be distributers of grace to others. Let’s look at Proverbs 3. Most of you just started quoting verses 5 and 6 in your head immediately… Trust in the Lord with all your heart… Good verses but let’s look at verses 1-4.

Proverbs 3:1–4 “My son, do not forget my teaching, But have your heart comply with my commandments; For length of days and years of life And peace they will add to you. Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart. So you will find favor and a good reputation In the sight of God and man.”

First off notice that language in verse 4? favor and reputation with God and man. Almost like the writers of the New Testament might have known what the Old Testament said and found it somewhat valuable. Let’s start today with…

Divine Approval

Favor with God!

Being approved by God is crucial to our spiritual growth, but too frequently I’m afraid we carry misconceptions about what being approved by God means.

If I do more good than bad then I’ll be ok with God. Eh probably not. I really hope most of you don’t do more bad than good everyday.

If I work and work and work some more. Maybe I can work my way to heaven, even though we’ve said God doesn’t call us to ministry until we establish intimacy with Him.

Maybe if you keep all the rules. Maybe if you are meticulous in making sure you figure out what the list of rules is and then to make sure you do everything you can within your power to keep said rules. Hope you got the right list.

Maybe some of you struggle more with the disapproval piece. Maybe you do go to bed at night wondering if the lightning bolt is going to hit. Maybe someone has given you a poor picture of religion or perhaps authority in general.

You can know that God does not want you to live an entire life here on earth fearing His wrath or chasing His approval. Any picture of God that you have seen that is not love… is a BAD picture.

The key to divine approval is a pure heart, sanctified, cleansed, new, that desires to please Him…

King David was known in the Bible for some challenging sins he committed, but also referred to as a man after God’s own heart. We like to cite that we can relate to David because of his struggle with sin, but God’s approval of David came from a repentant heart that had a desire to do the right thing and comply with God’s word rather than continuing in the sin. Don’t get me wrong, the sin needs to go, but God knew that sin was going to be a reality in this world until He comes again. So divine approval comes from softening our hearts always ready to repent of sin and always ready to forgive the sins that others might commit against us.

The text we just read from proverbs says that divine approval comes from a heart that loves God’s word, and by being full of kindness and truth. Nothing ruins relationships with others and before God like just flat out being mean and telling lies. Be full of kindness and truth ready to repent ready to forgive and God will see your heart.

We want God’s approval but I wonder how often we put the approval of others on the back burner. I’m not saying we look to be a people pleaser, but the phrase, “I don’t care what they think” isn’t the most attractive thing that comes out of a Christian’s mouth.

Relational Reputation MATTERS

Relational reputation is often…

Ruined with words

Ephesians 4:29 “Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace (FAVOR) to those who hear.”

Slide back to… Relational Reputation

I said my piece now I’m good. Remember a second ago when I said, “I don’t care what they think” doesn’t look so good on you? Well neither does the phrase, “Well I said my piece.” If you haven’t heard this phrase before it’s a way of saying that the universe somehow gave you permission to get something off your chest and now that people have heard what you think you can have this mic drop moment and just leave the room. Rarely have I heard someone speak their p-i-e-c-e where they didn’t disturb the p-e-a-c-e.

Peace over Piece

I googled the phrase speak my piece because i honestly didn’t know which was the correct spelling and in turn the correct word.

It occurred to me that many people are more concerned with speaking their piece than keeping the peace.

If we are trying to keep on growing in favor with people, speaking our piece will almost always be a great way to fail at this. The passage we just read from Ephesians said if there is ANY good word for edification for the moment you are in, SAY THAT! And the result will be FAVOR!

Do you get more excited to lift someone else up or have your self lifted up? Do you get more excited to point out people’s good qualities or their misspelling and poor grammar? Hey guess what, no one likes that. What else gets in the way of relational reputation…

Slide back to… Relational Reputation

Relational reputation is ruined by isolation.

I know this is going to sound like a stretch but in order to have relationships you need other people. Mind-blowing huh? Some of us like ourselves so much that soon we are going to get all the time we want to spend with ourselves.

Our vision here at Cap City is one more for Jesus, and within our mission statement is the phrase… Every person created in the image of God was designed with a purpose. This purpose will always involve other people.

And after humanity was created in the image of God, God looked at the first human being in Adam and said in Genesis it’s not good for man to be alone. So he created Eve. We quote this verse to talk about God’s image, the Biblical make up of the household, and procreation, but among all the principles that come from God creating Eve for Adam is the idea of community, wed can’t be alone!

Ecclesiastes 4 says 2 are better than 1 for a myriad of reasons, then Jesus exemplified this principle by sending His followers out two by two.

Favor with others requires relationship with others, but too many of us continue to isolate ourselves.

You don’t think so? When was the last time you had a meal with a friend? A new person at church? Coffee with someone on your street? We have a list of excuses. We are busy, that person, well their a little weird, guess what… you’re a weirdo too, maybe weirder than them. When you isolate yourself you elevate yourself. Oh wait that was good, did you hear it? When you isolate yourself you elevate yourself. And when you do spend time with people, you surround yourself with people that supply your need to be praised or recognized or that accomplish your agenda for you. We isolate ourself, then we elevate ourself, and when we elevate ourself we reduce our grace and produce more pride. Since we covered a little bit of how we fail at growing in favor in relationships, let’s talk a little remedy. Favor with others is…

Corrected with Community

What is community? I looked at a handful of definitions, one I read talked about a group of people with common characteristics. But the next one said a group of people with diverse characteristics, and I liked that one alot more. The second half of our mission statement here at Cap City says… We believe that we fulfill our purpose by helping others fulfill theirs. This will always be a unique manifestation of what God has called each person to do. UNIQUE. I know that people that aren’t like you drive you crazy, but guess what I’m really happy everyone isn’t just like you, aren’t you? I’m really glad Allison doesn’t look or smell or sound like me. I’m glad there are people that are smarter people that I can learn from. I’m glad there are people that like to grow food that I can eat. I’m glad there are people that like to mow golf courses so I can play on them. I’m glad there are people that like to work on air conditioners so I’m not so hot all the time. Some of you will amen that but don’t want to “live and do life” with people that don’t see life how you do.

One of the enemies greatest desires for you is to become self-sufficient. Because if you can do life without others, you WILL do life without others and one of satan’s greatest goals for your life is isolation. We need to be mowing each others lawns, and borrowing a cup of sugar. Before preservatives and refrigerators we shared a meal with neighbors more so it wouldn’t go to waste, then we had FAVOR with them and they made the next meal. There’s so much POWER in community and security if the truth be known.

Do you know why you are anxious today? Well could be a lot of reasons, but can I give you a big one? It’s because the more you isolate yourself, the more you have to depend on yourself. And you know that you can’t handle it all on your own. Good news though! That doesn’t make you a failure, it makes you a human… A human who needs healthy community with others that you know will help you carry the burdens of life. Not just in the way of having food on the table, but people that can help you carry the burden of raising children, managing a budget, figuring out life’s hard questions, mourning, weeping, discouragement, and loss. Being connected in community with others is central to this principle of growing in favor and grace with others.

Let’s do the work now of putting the two together. Maybe you struggle or thrive more with the divine approval. Maybe you struggle or thrive more with the relational reputation. The two absolutely go hand in hand.

Vertical Requires Horizontal

Not only can you not have the vertical relationship without the horizontal, however you are relating horizontally reflects the vertical. Let’s bust through some Bible verses here real quick to frame this a little better.

Matthew 25:45 “Jesus said, to the extent that you did not do it for one of the least of these, you did not do it for Me, either.’”

This is the one on disability that you think should be working. You think they should be out working like you are. But when you make them a meal or mow their lawn you show you value grace more than entitlement.

1 John 4:20 “If someone says, “I love God,” and yet he hates his brother or sister, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother and sister whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen.”

This is the one in the church that offended you or belittled you. Sure you don’t use the word hate, but you won’t stop talking about them behind their back, and since they’ve hurt you, you’ll be sure to analyze their behavior in a way that places them on a lower tier than you. If you are truly a person of love you would understand that the more you love in the face of that hurt, the greater opportunity you have to show them what real love looks like, regardless of what they see, you can be confident in what you have displayed. Loving the one who has hurt you shows you value grace more than pride.

Matthew 5:43–44 ““You have heard that it was said, ‘you Shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I say to you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you,”

This is the one that votes differently than you do. This shows you value people more than politics. If you can’t get over this one, we will have an altar call at the end.

We won’t go to it right now but in Matthew 18 Jesus tells the story and if I may for the sake of time teaches a principle that goes something like as an adult your parents bought you a car because you were broke then you ended a friendship because your buddy didn’t venmo you for his half of the pizza last night.

When Jesus told this story it wasn’t about money it was about faults and forgiveness.

If you have room to condemn and correct others, make sure you are checking in to see if you aren’t minimizing what Paul called being a chief of sinners. I want to get better about condemning and correcting less, because I need His grace!

We grow in favor with others by reciprocating grace not just back and forth between each other but that we distribute freely to them because He’s distributed freely to us. That’s how they learn about our great God, through the grace we show them!

Are people allowed to make mistakes around you? You think a hard response to them when they have failed you is going to encourage them to correct the mistake? To admit their faults in the future? If you want people to stop making mistakes around you, when they do it, show them the greatest grace possible. When I receive grace from someone I like them more and want to let them down less! RIGHT?

Can I… just for a minute, hit a couple things. Parents.. we are being too hard on our kids. Who cares if they aren’t as good at the sport as you wish you would have been. They are going to leave clothes laying around the house. They are going to mess up your stuff. Your time with them is precious. We seem to throw alot of teaching like this out the window inside our own four walls. Parents you need to apologize to your children when you make a mistake because it models the behavior we want them to exhibit as they grow.

Perfectionist… You are wearing out people with correcting their every mistake. We know you just want excellence, but give it a break. Did you know you are allowed to not say something when people make a mistake? Do you want God to keep account of you the way you keep account of everyone else. We referenced this verse earlier…

Psalm 130:3–4 “If You, Lord, were to keep account of guilty deeds, Lord, who could stand? But there is forgiveness with You, So that You may be revered.”

If you want to be revered and respected by others, be forgiving.

Seriously is there anything cooler than when you are afraid to admit a mistake and people say no big deal, don’t worry about it. These are my favorite people! Don’t you want to be one of my favorite people? Learn to say “no big deal.”

Wrapping up this point, we like to boast about our spirituality because of what we do to pursue God.

Whether we like to hear this or not, “We spend more time “working” on our relationship with God than others when our relationship with God will never be greater than our relationship with others.” REPEAT

RESPONSE - INVITE THE TEAM

So how do we respond to what we’ve heard today…

I want to be approved by God. What’s that look like? I really have gotten over the idea that God is going to strike me down for sinning. Do you know why? Because He’s a good good father. The last thing I want to do is come down on one of my kids, and God’s a way way better father than me. But I also know I can’t protect my children in this life if they don’t want to stay near me.

My fear is not that God would punish me, but that He would lift His hand of protection, because there is much evil out there that desires to take me down. You know I’m not even sure it’s a matter of God lifting HIs hand of protection as me choosing to not stay close to Him. James 4:6 says “God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”” I NEED GOD’S PROTECTION IN MY LIFE SO I NEED TO BE HUMBLE because that’s where His grace lives, with the humble, but pride negates grace. Checking your pride and humbling yourself before Him is the best place you could start to find His approval. Just say Lord I need you.

What’s you relationship like with other? Could you call in a favor? Can others call in a favor with you? We’ve isolated ourselves too much and in doing so our actions speak louder than our religion by saying we don’t need others. So much of what you are facing today could be healed inside of community. Maybe, just maybe we could treat each other better. The Bible says a friend must show themselves friendly. If you’ve been alone for too long maybe it’s time to ask the question, how can i treat the people I want to be around better? Surprise people with grace, overwhelm them by returning love for hate.

And know that we can’t separate our relationship with God from others. He gave us each other to see how we would live out the gifts of grace, love, mercy, and forgiveness. I can’t forgive God or show Him grace because He’s never hurt me. So my love for others is truly the measuring stick for where my relationship is with God. If i’m bitter, gossiping, exacting, critical, unforgiving, lying or just flat out mean to other people I need to come pray today and say God what in my heart needs to change? What needs healed, so that I can reflect your character to all of those around me?

I need you to pray this morning church, because as we move forward carrying out the mission we can’t do it, if we aren’t in favor with others, and in favor with God. CALL IN BIG FAVORS WITH GOD!

POST RESPONSE

ITS FRIEND DAY

SALVATION CALL YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT GOD’S GRACE AND FORGIVENESS… FREE BIBLE