The Bitter Cup (Psalm 88) - Trish Fisher

Order of Service

Welcome and Prayer

Scripture Reading

Song - In the Garden

Sharing of Memories

Message - The Bitter Cup

Song/Video - Be Still My Soul

Welcome and Prayer

Good morning.

On behalf of Trish’s family and friends, I want to thank you for being here today to remember and honor Trish and support them during their time of loss and grief.

Let’s pray together as we begin.

PRAY

First, let me introduce myself for those who may not know me.

I am Pastor Mike Stitzel from Hephzibah Baptist Church. Trish attended Hephzibah for a number of years off and on. I found out after her passing that the off and on was a result of the fact that she was also attending Hope Fellowship in Coatesville at the same time. She would frequent both of our churches, having found a place to belong at both.

I am thankful and grateful for the time that I was able to know her. Even after her health prevented her from coming, we continue to love and support her, caring for her through prayer.

Trish always loved being at Hephzibah. After the service, she would always make time to say hi, to talk and share with me and with others around her. She was always positive and uplifting about life and something she appreciated from the gathering that day. She just carried herself with an air of positivity and encouragement. You could not help walk away feeling blessed and encouraged.

Though it has been at least 6 years since I have spoken with her or seen her, the memories of her are sweet and I am thankful that we had the chance to share our lives together even if only in a small way.

In a few moments, you will have the chance to share some brief memories of Trish.

But, I would encourage you, do not hesitate to share memories with one another, especially her family and close friends, in the days ahead. The sharing, though they may prompt tears and sorrows at times, is special. The sharing in itself is healing and helpful. And it honors the life the one we love and who is now not with us.

As we begin our time of remembrance and honoring, let me read to you from the book of Matthew, chapter 6. The Lord’s Prayer.

Scripture Reading

English Standard Version Chapter 6

9 Pray then like this:

“Our Father in heaven,

hallowed be your name.

10  Your kingdom come,

your will be done,

on earth as it is in heaven.

11  Give us this day our daily bread,

12  and forgive us our debts,

as we also have forgiven our debtors.

13  And lead us not into temptation,

but deliver us from evil.

This prayer, though never intended to be read or recited in empty rote manner, gives us a great picture of how we ought to pray.

First, we are praying to A FATHER. There is an intimacy shared with God and his children…an intimacy that ought not scare us off but ought to give us confidence to draw near to Him.

As we come near, we come acknowledging His grandeur, glory, and beauty! We come beholding him, delighting in Him. In both good times, and bad, he is our joy, our delight, our security.

We come seeking HIS will and plan…even if that is not ours. The time of death is rarely our choice. And as we come in this time of sorrow, we trust His plan and His will even if it is painful and sorrowful to us. Our intimacy with Him give us strength and courage to come.

We come to Him in utter dependence for His provision and care for our needs.

We come, seeking His forgiveness and his grace to walk worthy of Him. To walk and live in holiness.

We come trusting His protection to keep us from sin and from evil, and living as He is…HOLY.

This model prayer shows us the depth of intimacy that God desires with us, the holiness he demands of us, and His absolute care for us.

These truths about God are things Trish had come to know and understand as a follower of Jesus, as a child of God.

May the words of this prayer draw you near to God in your time of grieving and remembrance. May they be an invitation to come to Him and find your strength and joy in His presence

Song - In the Garden

Printed Lyrics

I come to the garden alone While the dew is still on the roses And the voice I hear, falling on my ear The son of God discloses

And he walks with me And he talks with me And he tells me I am his own And the joy we share as we tarry there None other has ever known

I'd stay in the garden with him Though the night around me is falling But he bids me go Through the voice of woe His voice to me is calling

And he walks with me And he talks with me And he tells me I am his own And the joy we share as we tarry there None other has ever known

And the joy we share as we tarry there None other has ever known

Sharing of Memories

Patricia "Trish" Ficca Fisher Obituary

Patricia Jean Ficca McNamara Fisher, 76, of Coatesville died Thursday, June 26, 2025 at Morningside House of Exton.

Born in Coatesville, she was the daughter of the late Paul and Mildred McCauley Ficca and the wife of the late Robert L. “Mick” Fisher with whom she shared almost 30 years of marriage..

Trish grew up attending the former Coatesville Baptist Church with her family.

Trish was a 1966 graduate of S. Horace Scott High School. She received her Associates of Arts Degree from York College of Pennsylvania, her Bachelor of Science in Education from Temple University and her Master’s of Education from Penn State University.

In 2004, Trish retired from Coatesville Area School District after 33 years of service. She started her teaching career at the former South Coatesville Elementary School and moved to East Fallowfield Elementary School in 1975.

Trish volunteered with Meals on Wheels of Chester County, Coatesville Christmas Parade Committee and was a member of Delta Kappa Gamma International Society of Women’s Educators, Beta Omicron Chapter, Ercildoun Historical Society and Graystone Society. Trish loved animals, and rescued many cats over the years. She enjoyed gardening and sewing.

Trish is survived by her stepdaughter, Tammy Donohue and her children, Peyton and Meadow Donohue all of Lancaster; 2 nieces, Maribeth Ficca McConnell(Michael) and Kristin Ficca Thomson(Christopher); and 6 great nephews Ryan Bonner (Louise), Christopher Bonner, Shane McConnell, Conner Thomson, Dylan Thomson, and Brandon Thomson; 3 great-great niece and nephews: Lucy, Beau, and Brady, and many cousins and friends.

In addition to her parents, and husband, Trish was predeceased by her brother, P. Donald Ficca.

Trish’s funeral services will be held Tuesday, July 8, 2025 at 11:30am at Wentz Funeral Home, 342 E. Chestnut St, Coatesville. Visitation will be begin at 9:30am.

Interment will be in Hephzibah Baptist Cemetery, East Fallowfield.

Memorials in Trish’s honor may be made to Alzheimer’s Association or to Coatesville Area Public Library

To send flowers to the family or plant a tree in memory of Patricia "Trish", please visit our floral store.

Start with family

Vivain will try

Debra - friend will share

Move to guests

Please keep the sharing brief to allow others to share.

Message - The Bitter Cup

We are gathered here today opening ourselves up to the ravages of emotions that death and loss brings. There is a deep sense of loss that a wife, a mother, grandmother, sister, friend is not with us. Death, today is reminding us that all is not right in this world.

We are here today to mourn. And we are mourning. It should not escape us that one we love is not with us.

BUT, we also come here today to find hope.

We come to find comfort.

And the good news is, the gospel offers both. GOD offers both.

This morning as we gather to remember the life of Trish, as we gather and struggle against the weight of loss, looking for comfort and hope, I want to read for you from Psalm 88

Psalm 88 ESV

A Song. A Psalm of the Sons of Korah. To the choirmaster: according to Mahalath Leannoth. A Maskil of Heman the Ezrahite. 1 O Lord, God of my salvation, I cry out day and night before you. 2 Let my prayer come before you; incline your ear to my cry! 3 For my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol. 4 I am counted among those who go down to the pit; I am a man who has no strength, 5 like one set loose among the dead, like the slain that lie in the grave, like those whom you remember no more, for they are cut off from your hand. 6 You have put me in the depths of the pit, in the regions dark and deep. 7 Your wrath lies heavy upon me, and you overwhelm me with all your waves. Selah 8 You have caused my companions to shun me; you have made me a horror to them. I am shut in so that I cannot escape; 9 my eye grows dim through sorrow. Every day I call upon you, O Lord; I spread out my hands to you. 10 Do you work wonders for the dead? Do the departed rise up to praise you? Selah 11 Is your steadfast love declared in the grave, or your faithfulness in Abaddon? 12 Are your wonders known in the darkness, or your righteousness in the land of forgetfulness? 13 But I, O Lord, cry to you; in the morning my prayer comes before you. 14 O Lord, why do you cast my soul away? Why do you hide your face from me? 15 Afflicted and close to death from my youth up, I suffer your terrors; I am helpless. 16 Your wrath has swept over me; your dreadful assaults destroy me. 17 They surround me like a flood all day long; they close in on me together. 18 You have caused my beloved and my friend to shun me; my companions have become darkness.

Observations:

Tone is despairing and discouraging – Writer(s) (Sons of Korah) has(ve) experienced innumerable hardship and disappointment.

Feelings of abandonment by God

Perhaps even that God is displaying His anger and wrath in the negative circumstances they are experiencing.

Desires death – hates life

Psalm ends on an uncharacteristically (many end joyfully) low note. No happy ending

It ends like a Shakespearian tragedy.

Unlike many Psalms which may start sorrowful but find hope and confidence by the end – this one does not.

So you might ask, why use this passage for a funeral service?

Personalize:

Perhaps you have or do feel this way?

Perhaps you feel the immense sorrow of pain, hurt, sorrow, disappointment, and hardship of life.

Feel as though God is silent; as if God has abandoned you.

Feel as though God is angry and punishing

Feel as though God, death has stolen the one you love

Perhaps this is the final straw for you and you don’t know how much more you can take.

If this is you…

Application:

Presence of a Psalm like this reveals God cares about our feelings and our hearts.

He understands all of life is not peachy and beautiful but that dark moments do exist.

God understands and CARES about your pain and sorrow.

God cares and empathizes with your pain.

Are you looking for answers to the question, why? Do you struggle to know and understand why God allows pain and death? Do you struggle with the same dark thoughts of the writer of this Psalm?

If so…

I cannot give you hard and concrete answers that would satisfy you. God’s ways and God’s plans are often a mystery to us.

However, I can tell you he understand and appreciates.

God is the God of comfort.

We are told that God will comfort us in our times of affliction.

2 Corinthians 1

2 Corinthians 1:3–4 ESV

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

We all experience sorrow and pain, disappointment, and grief. But God will comfort and strengthen us. Let your sorrow drive you TO Him and not away FROM Him.

If Trish were here today, I am certain that he would want you to run towards God

She loved the Lord. That much, from our limited interactions over the years, was clear.

Her love for people, for cats, for the community are testimony to the love of God in her.

She loved His church. Not only did she attend Hephzibah where I pastor, but she attended Hope Fellowship in Coatesville. I found out just recently that she attended both simultaneously. She would rotate between the two.

It was clear from my conversations with her, before or after our gatherings, that she loved God and loved His church.

So, as we come together today, in honor of her memory, in our love for God…

Take comfort from the fact that God understands, cares, and comforts us.

Like you, I know what it is to experience loss. And like you, I know the pain and ravages of dementia/alzheimers. In 2022, I lost both of my parents in about a 3 month window. My father after 5 weeks of struggle with lung damage due to covid, and my mother after a several year long struggle with dementia. When I think of their suffering, I am often brought to tears.

Just the other day, a fresh wave of grief hit me and the tears began afresh. Sometimes, all it takes is the memory of what they suffered and I am reduced to a puddle of tears.

Indeed, the pain and suffering in this life is harsh and unforgiving at times.

I am sure, as you walked those final days with Trish, there were hard moments. And in the days to come, there will be hard days.

BUT NOT impossible days. Not comfortless days. Not days of hopelessness and joylessness. Hard, yes. But not despairing days.

Because when we compare our/their suffering to what our God, our Savior, Christ, suffered for us, their suffering, our suffering is paltry.

We should be reminded that our God knows a thing or two about suffering and THUS he knows how to provide comfort and hope in the midst of it.

Know this as well, Christ Himself suffered deeply. His understanding is not merely based on knowledge, but it based upon experience.

Matthew 26

Matthew 26:36–39 ESV

36 Then Jesus went with them to a place called Gethsemane, and he said to his disciples, “Sit here, while I go over there and pray.” 37 And taking with him Peter and the two sons of Zebedee, he began to be sorrowful and troubled. 38 Then he said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” 39 And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.”

After this….

He would be so grieved, he sweat great drops of blood the text tells us.

His disciples revealed lack of devotion by falling asleep when they were supposed to be watching and praying

Jesus is arrested

Jesus is abandoned by his disciples

Jesus is denied by those closest to him

He is set up and placed on an illegal trial with fake charges of crime. He had never sinned, never done wrong.

He is beaten by a cat of nine tails until he was unrecognizable

He was mocked, spit upon, and humiliated

He was nailed to a cross and died an excruciating death

He bore the guilt for sins He never committed

His Father in Heaven, God, poured His wrath on Jesus for those sins He did not commit

Jesus died, enduring abandonment, rejection, loneliness, pain, sorrow, guilt, and wrath along with incredible physical pain for the sins of a human race that did all these treacherous acts to Him.

Jesus understood pain, sorrow, loss, sadness far better than any of us.

Having understood that, he understands your pain and sorrow this morning.

Hebrews 2:14 – NLT

14 Because God’s children are human beings—made of flesh and blood—the Son also became flesh and blood. For only as a human being could he die, and only by dying could he break the power of the devil, who had* the power of death. 15 Only in this way could he set free all who have lived their lives as slaves to the fear of dying.

16 We also know that the Son did not come to help angels; he came to help the descendants of Abraham. 17 Therefore, it was necessary for him to be made in every respect like us, his brothers and sisters,* so that he could be our merciful and faithful High Priest before God. Then he could offer a sacrifice that would take away the sins of the people. 18 Since he himself has gone through suffering and testing, he is able to help us when we are being tested.

Jesus understands, he was made like us in every way. He understands your sorrow, anger, fear, and every other experience you could imagine up.

Why did Christ endure this?

It was not SIMPLY so he could understand and appreciate your trials and provide comfort. Sure this is true and a clear benefit of His own suffering, but it was not the primary reason.

So why? What was the primary reason?

Because our sin, our disobedience, our rebellion against God and His laws destroyed the relationship we were created to enjoy between God and man. God loved us and wanted us to be restored to a right relationship to Him and so He Himself provided a perfect payment for our sins because we had not ability to supply it ourselves.

Jesus endured this bitter cup of pain, sorrow, and death FOR YOU and FOR ME. All we must do to receive the forgiveness and new life He has to offer is to acknowledge our sinfulness before our creator God, repent of that sin, and trust in Jesus sacrifice alone for the forgiveness of sin.

Trish did this. She trusted Christ, she trusted God, and her greatest wish and desire for the loved ones in her life (all of you gathered here today) to know the joy of what Christ endured the bitter cup to obtain for us!

Trish is alive today. She is not dead but alive and at home in heaven with her heavenly father whom she loves so very much. Please take this opportunity honor the life she lived and come to know and learn more of the God she loved so dearly. Let your sorrow and your grief drive you to God, the God of comfort; the god of understanding. If you are believer already, let God’s comfort envelope you. If you are not a believer, let your sorrow and pain draw you to a God who sent His son to die for your sin so that you might be restored to a right relationship with Him.

We would love to introduce you to Him. Please take time see me today if you would like to learn more.

Trish’s desire is for you to know the Savior and friend she had come to know in her life.

So I leave you with this critical message today, on Trish’s remembrance service.

Jesus, understands the sorrow, pain, and heartache of life. Don’t think in your grief that God cannot understand. He can and does. Christ endured more than any of us ever will. AND YET, He willingly endured it because by doing so, he made a way for you and I to know Him and find hope and strength in even the most dark and bitter times.

CONCLUSION

Our hope in sorrow…

Our hope in loss and grief…

Is found in the great love of God for us who sacrificed so much to offer us a path to him.

I cannot promise the days ahead will be grief and sorrow free. I am pretty much guarantee the opposite. You will have plenty of moments.

BUT

I can promise this…if you entrust yourself to God, you will have all the comfort and strength you can manage from your relationship with Him. It is my prayer for you that your grief and sorrow would have you run to Christ, not away. Perhaps the first step for you is to repent and trust. If you already have, run to his arms for comfort and strength and led him lead you. This is our hope when we face our bitter cups.

The following words come from a prayer written in a Gestapo jail cell (with a few updates in language by me) by German Christian Dietrich Bonhoeffer several months before his death at the hands of the Nazi regime. Pastor Bonhoeffer called on a biblical metaphor – the cup – to describe the frequent and most defining event of his life – suffering. His statement highlights the perspective we should have regarding sorrow, and the bitter cup of life’s hardships.

"And should You offer us the bitter cup, resembling sorrow,

Filled to the brim and overflowing

We will receive it thankfully, without trembling

From Your hand, so good and ever-loving.

But if it be Your will again to give

Joy of this world and bright sunshine

Then in our minds we will past times relive

And all our days be entirely Yours.”

I want to end with the Song, Be Still My Soul. The lyrics are on your sheet if you want to sing along or you can just listen to the words. May they be a comfort and a joy to you in this season of sorrow and loss.

Song/Video - Be Still My Soul

Printed Lyrics

Be still, my soul, the Lord is on thy side Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain Leave to thy God to order and provide In every change He faithful will remain Be still, my soul, thy best, thy heavenly friend Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end

Be still, my soul, thy God doth undertake To guide the future as He has the past Thy hope, thy confidence, let nothing shake All now mysterious shall be bright at last Be still, my soul, the waves, and winds still know His voice who ruled them while He dwelt below

Chorus In you, I rest, in You, I found my hope In you, I trust, You never let me go I place my life within Your hands alone Be still, my soul

Be still, my soul, the hour is hastening on When we shall be forever with the Lord When disappointed, grief, and fear are gone Sorrow forgot, love's purest joys restored Be still, my soul, when change and tears are past All safe and blessed, we shall meet at last

Chorus (above)

Be still, my soul Be still, my soul

Prayer

Announcement

All guests are invited to join at Hephzibah Baptist Cemetery for the internment and then to Thorndale Inn for a luncheon following that. If you chose not to go to the cemetery, you may still meet at Thorndale Inn for the lunch.

Again, on behalf of the family, THANK YOU for being here today to honor Trish and support the family.

God bless.

(Hand over to Funeral Home)

Graveside

If I may, I would like to read something from my own journal…written the December after I buried both of my parents just months before…

I ended up at my parents grave yesterday. On a whim. It was not planned. Driving by on my way home, I swung in. At the time, I could not explain why I wanted to be there, in that moment. They were not there, in that plot of grass, in the open field that is the Hephzibah graveyard. It is only their physical remains. And yet, I am physical. Looking back now, a day later, I realize that I am missing their touch, their presence. As crazy as it is, the physicality of their bodily remains being there, and my being where those remains are, makes me feel closer to them.

I realize this is not new. This is why so many find comfort in visiting the graves of loved ones who have died and gone before them. But it is new to me. And I had never pictured myself as one who would want to visit the grave of my loved ones. Not because they were not missed, but rather because truth tell me they are not there and there is no sentimentality to attached to that spot.

And yet, I am human. I am physical. I was made for connection and intimacy. A reality now absent with my parents. A reality that I had grown used to and delighted in these past two years. So, it was hard. I both longed to be there at the grave, and yet I struggled to get out of the car and walk over. The longing to be near them mixing with the stark reminder, that they are not there and I cannot touch them.

I know truth. Why is this so hard?

Because death is not natural. It is the sign of brokenness and is mark of the curse. And it creates in us a longing for eternity and redemption.

Romans 8:22–23 (ESV): 22 For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. 23 And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

This death, this grieving, this suffering has a purpose; to creating longing for that which is to come. It presses us into God and sets our sights upon Him. It keeps us from getting too comfortable in a land which we are sojourning in. We are passing through. This is not our home. Death is a reminder of this.

We can and we do hope in this…death’s time is limited. Death’s power is limited. Death’s duration is limited. The God of all things has already overcome it. So, we set our sights and our hope to Him and for the joy set before us, persist.

Abba, give us strength to walk in this tension of imminent loss and eternal glory.

You are worth the struggle to find and live within that tension.

Our hope is in you.

Death is unnatural.

It is the result of sin and it’s curse on creation.

BUT death is temporary for those who know Christ.

Death has been defeated by Christ Himself on the cross.

And it is because of that, we who trust in Christ have hope in death. We have a confident expectation of victory over it, in Christ!

As we surrender and commit Trish’s body to the grave, we do so IN HOPE, not in despair. Her faith and trust in God places her safely within His arms. A place that those who have repented of their sins and placed their faith in Him will share one day.

This is not the end.

This is just the beginning.

So we commit her body in HOPE, looking the author and the founder of our faith.

Pray