Truth in Love

We learned last week about living as the new human. We saw that it is deeper than new behavior or thinking. It is a new heart. Today, Paul is going to show how some new practices can help us live according to that new heart. To borrow a phrase Paul used earlier, we will see that to live as new humans in Christ is to live truth in love.

Truth in Love is Seeking Shalom for Others

Ephesians 4:25 ESV

Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

“Speak the truth with his neighbor” is a quote from the prophet Zechariah. God promises through Zechariah to save a remnant of His people and He will make them a blessing.

Zechariah 8:13 ESV

And as you have been a byword of cursing among the nations, O house of Judah and house of Israel, so will I save you, and you shall be a blessing. Fear not, but let your hands be strong.”

In what ways will they be a blessing?

Zechariah 8:16–17 ESV

These are the things that you shall do: Speak the truth to one another; render in your gates judgments that are true and make for peace; do not devise evil in your hearts against one another, and love no false oath, for all these things I hate, declares the Lord.”

Then He says He will turn their fasting to feasting and ends with:

Zechariah 8:19 ESV

“Therefore love truth and peace (shalom).”

Truth and justice work together to bless humans with peace. The word here is shalom, which could be translated wholeness or completeness. I demonstrate my love for my neighbor as I seek shalom in your life. I will fearlessly battle any corruption that would keep you from experiencing wholeness.

This passage is definitely in Paul’s mind as he writes to the church. He uses five practices that would replace a heart that is corrupted with self-focus with a heart that loves truth and shalom. And he gives a motivation or goal for each one that can be a test for our hearts.

He begins in verse 25 with putting off falsehood. It is the same verb as he used in verse 22 to describe putting off the old human. Actually, he assumes you have already put off falsehood if you have put off the old human self. We replace the lifestyle marked by falsehood with a new lifestyle marked by practicing the truth in all my affairs.

The motivation here, the heart test is, “for we are members one of another.” We are members of the body of Christ, and falsehood does not befit Christ’s body. We are also members of one another as His followers. We should care what happens to one another. I would not want someone to lie to me, so I should not lie to someone else. I would not want lies spread about me in the church. So I should care about lies spread against you. We are members of the same body. When you hurt, I hurt. I can’t be whole unless you’re whole. There is no shalom unless we all experience it together. Do I love truth and shalom enough to only ever speak the truth with you?

Paul gives us a great follow up to that. My willingness to tell the truth at all times with everyone can be demonstrated through emotional honesty, which he addresses in verses 26-27,

Ephesians 4:26–27 ESV

Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil.

This could be a sermon all to itself. But suffice to say many Christians are deficient when it comes to being honest with their emotions while also not laying the burden of their emotions on others. We are all going to experience a range of emotions, and they aren’t all happy and content all the time. But I am abiding in Christ, I can be angry, own it, and express that in a truthful and loving way that seeks shalom for my brother or sister. What’s my motive here?

Verse 27, “give no opportunity to the devil.” The word here is the word for giving someone a space, a spot. But there is a nuance to the word that includes an opportune point in time. The devil is looking for an opportune time to sneak a seat at our table. Let’s say one of you has made me angry. And instead of being honest about that with you and seeking reconciliation, I avoid you. When we come to the Lord’s table, I am looking for a different seat. And that’s when the devil comes in and takes that seat instead.

But we don’t want to give the devil a seat at the Lord’s table. Don’t give up your spot to him. He comes only to steal, kill, and destroy. He will separate members and corrupt our unity. When you harbor bitterness in your heart toward another member of the body, you are giving the devil space to do his work. Does your heart love truth enough to address conflict and seek the shalom of the one who offended you?

Paul addresses honesty in our work in verse 28,

Ephesians 4:28 ESV

Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.

This is where I stop and ask, really, there are thieves in the church? Unfortunately, I have known people who have worked for “Christian” employers who were completely corrupt and dishonest in their business practices. And I have been a coworker with men who professed faith in Christ but were equally dishonest and had a corrupt work ethic. How does this happen? At church, I put on the new human, but at work, I have my old human in my locker, ready to put on and seek what’s good for me over shalom for my workplace.

The motivation for the thief to do honest work is in verse 28, “so that he may have something to share with anyone in need.” Believe it or not, there are people who come to church because the church is filled with nice people who will give them things. But that is not the heart of Jesus. He enters the lives of others to help them. Now that Christ is in you, and you have become a member of His body, you want to seek wholeness for others and give what you can (which is different for everyone).

Paul goes back to words in verse 29.

Ephesians 4:29 ESV

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

I am not always this thoughtful about my words. I certainly don’t want corrupting talk coming out of my mouth. The word there is “rotten”. But do I wait to speak until I have discerned “only such as is good for building up” the person I am speaking with? The motivation here is that I would give grace to those who hear me. Is that what other people would say I have given them after we have talked?

All of this reminds me of Jesus’ words,

Luke 6:45 ESV

The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.

What is in my heart? Corrupting words come from a corrupt heart, just as we saw in Zechariah.

Zechariah 8:17–19 ESV

“do not devise evil in your hearts against one another, and love no false oath, for all these things I hate, declares the Lord.” Therefore love truth and peace.”

How do we overcome a corrupt heart? How do we learn to love what God loves and hate what God hates so that we can give shalom to our fellow members of the body?

Truth in Love is Learning from the Holy Spirit

Paul quotes from another Hebrew prophet in verse 30,

Ephesians 4:30 ESV

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

This quote comes from Isaiah 63, and we have to look at that, because it will blow you away.

Isaiah 63:7–14 ESV

I will recount the steadfast love of the Lord, the praises of the Lord, according to all that the Lord has granted us, and the great goodness to the house of Israel that he has granted them according to his compassion, according to the abundance of his steadfast love. For he said, “Surely they are my people, children who will not deal falsely.” And he became their Savior. In all their affliction he was afflicted, and the angel of his presence saved them; in his love and in his pity he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old. But they rebelled and grieved his Holy Spirit; therefore he turned to be their enemy, and himself fought against them. Then he remembered the days of old, of Moses and his people. Where is he who brought them up out of the sea with the shepherds of his flock? Where is he who put in the midst of them his Holy Spirit, who caused his glorious arm to go at the right hand of Moses, who divided the waters before them to make for himself an everlasting name, who led them through the depths? Like a horse in the desert, they did not stumble. Like livestock that go down into the valley, the Spirit of the Lord gave them rest. So you led your people, to make for yourself a glorious name.

Look at God’s heart for His people. He has gone to great lengths to save a people who would spread His shalom across the earth. They are His children. When they were afflicted, He was afflicted. In His love He redeemed them, lifted them up, and carried them.

What did they do in return? They rebelled and grieved His Holy Spirit. God had put His Holy Spirit in the midst of them. And His people had profaned Him. This grieved the heart of the Holy Spirit. So, God turned against them. He sent them into exile.

But Isaiah is envisioning a restoration. God’s heart is still for His people. Even in their rebellion, God remembers the good old days. Not good because His people were good and well behaved. They never were. You can read the record. He remembers the days when He saved them despite their sinful rebellion. He leads His people for His own name’s sake. Isaiah envisions a day when God will once again lead His people and His Spirit will give them rest. And this has been fulfilled in Christ Jesus. He accomplished our redemption in His death, resurrection, and ascension, and He sent the Holy Spirit to dwell in Christians to seal His redemption.

Ephesians 4:30 ESV

And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

we get a deeper understanding of Paul’s point. The Holy Spirit is totally invested in your redemption. And better than dwelling among us, as He did with Israel, He is dwelling in us. When your heart is wrapped up in yourself instead of the shalom of your fellow members in the body of Christ, the Holy Spirit experiences sorrow. He hasn’t just sealed you for redemption. He has sealed us as one body. The “you” in this verse is plural. Is my heart as invested in your redemption as the Holy Spirit is?

If my heart is not in line with the Holy Spirit, what can I do? I can pull some weeds. In verse 31, Paul’s fifth replacement practice uses a word that gives us a helpful image.

Ephesians 4:31 ESV

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away (taken up) from you, along with all malice.

The word for “put away” is the word for picking something up and taking it away. Just like you would do with weeds in your garden, you may need to tend to the garden of your heart. In my heart are seeds of bitterness, wrath, anger, toward brothers and sisters. When they start growing, I need to pull those up. When you’re tempted to yell at someone (clamor) or talk bad about them (slander/lit. “blaspheme”), check for the weed of malice (wanting bad for someone). Pull it out.

And plant something else in its place.

Ephesians 4:32 ESV

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Plant the seeds of kindness in your tender heart, being quick to forgive, because God in Christ has forgiven you. The gospel is how we cultivate the heart of Christ as new humans. When I look in my heart and discover I have loved the lie that I can live for myself, or when my heart wants what’s good for me more than I want the shalom of my brothers and sister, I can look to Christ, who lived radically in the truth that “unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit (John 12:24).” In other words, He did not live for Himself, He died to multiply new life to us. His sacrifice was for our shalom, our wholeness, our peace. As we all come one step closer to Him, we come one step closer to one another.

Communion

Questions for Discussion

What can we celebrate this week, and what has been a challenge this week?

What is some truth that is giving you peace this week?

What would the church be like if we all only used words that are true and give grace to one another?

What do we learn about God in our passage?

What do we learn about ourselves in this passage?

Honesty is an essential quality to the church building itself up in love. What are the challenges to honesty in the church?

In what ways does the Holy Spirit teach us to love truth and pull weeds of malice from our hearts?

In what ways can we grow in emotional honesty as verse 26 talks about?

What are examples of talk that is good for building up and fits the occasion, that gives grace to those who hear?

How does the gospel, especially as Paul states it in verse 32, shape our hearts in line with this passage?

How will you respond to this passage this week?

Who is someone with whom you can share this passage this week?