Week 6 - Ecclesiastes 4:4-16 | Stronger Together

Good morning, everyone! It’s great to be with you this morning.

To start things off, I want to share a little proverb that one of my youth sponsors passed on to me when I graduated high school. I grew up in a small Mennonite church near Stryker. We didn’t have a youth pastor—we had youth sponsors. Two volunteer couples would serve in two year offset rotations, guiding and investing in us as we led our youth group, which we called MYF—Mennonite Youth Fellowship.

These sponsors were deeply committed. We met every Wednesday, year-round, often with a mission trip every other year.

That time—and those people—were incredibly formative for me. It's one of the reasons we care so deeply about youth ministry here at Crossroads. We're always praying and retooling, asking how we can best invest in our students for the sake of God’s kingdom.

And I’ll ask you to keep praying for us as God continues to bring growth here so that we steward this growth well to help the lost get found and the found live free in Jesus.

But, lets get back to my graduation party. While there, one of my sponsors, Judy Doehrmann, she pulled me aside before her and Eric left and they told me something I’ve never forgotten: They said “Levi, in your life and ministry, work to live; don’t live to work.”

It sounded simple then, maybe even cliché—but I’ve realized it’s actually deeply profound. Because it raises the very question Ecclesiastes confronts us with today:

What does it mean to live and work well under the sun?

In chapter 4, Solomon looks at the tempting solo and selfish grind of life and calls it what it is: exhausting and empty. But in the middle of that honest critique, he gives us something better—a vision of companionship, of shared life and of choosing people over performance or productivity.

So here’s the big idea we’ll explore this morning: Your best life isn’t built alone—it’s grown with God and His people.

Solomon shows us this in two big movements.

First, we’ll look at: The Wearying Vanity of Going It Alone (vv. 4–8, 13–16) — how envy, idleness, greed, and even success can isolate us and suck our souls dry. We’ll see this unfold through four vivid pictures:

A. Labor driven by envy

B. The burnout of idleness and discontentment

C. The emptiness of accumulating without anyone to share it with

D. The letdown of success that doesn’t last

Then, we’ll turn to: God’s Profound Provision: The Power of Companionship (vv. 9–12) — and how strength, joy, and resilience are found not in striving, but in sharing life with God and His people.

So let’s dive in. Turn with me to Ecclesiastes chapter 4, and we’ll begin with verse 4.

reading out of NET (New English Translation):

Ecclesiastes 4:4–8 NET

4 Then I considered all the skillful work that is done: Surely it is nothing more than competition between one person and another. This also is profitless—like chasing the wind. 5 The fool folds his hands and does no work, so he has nothing to eat but his own flesh. 6 Better is one handful with some rest than two hands full of toil and chasing the wind. 7 So I again considered another futile thing on earth: 8 A man who is all alone with no companion, he has no children nor siblings; yet there is no end to all his toil, and he is never satisfied with riches. He laments, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is futile and a burdensome task!

Now working back through the text, Solomon highlights several ways we “live to work”—and how each one ends in Hevel—vanity, meaninglessness.

A. Labor motivated by envy

Look at verse 4 again:

“Then I considered all the skillful work that is done: Surely it is nothing more than competition between one person and another. This also is profitless—like chasing the wind.”

That phrase—competition between one person and another—can also be translated rivalry or envy. Solomon is naming something deep in the human heart: we so often strive not for meaning or mission, but out of comparison. We want to outdo. Outperform. Outshine.

And folks, I know I say this often, but it’s worth repeating: The Bible doesn’t just tell us what happened. It tells us what always happens.

What Solomon saw in his day rings just as true in ours—if not more so.

Solomon saw the age-old problem of envy-driven toil and we’ve supercharged it with technology.

Sure, we’ve become more productive—but are we any more fulfilled, connected, or at peace?

Just think about social media for a second. It hasn’t just amplified our envy—it has become the engine of it.

Tech can be useful, but often it drives us to chase more of what doesn’t satisfy. We hustle to keep up with filtered lives online—chasing gadgets, experiences, and validation, only to feel emptier.

And into all that madness, God, through Solomon, says: This is profitless. It’s chasing the wind.

And that’s ironic, isn’t it? Because in the West, we’re obsessed with profit. But as Jesus once asked:

“What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world and loses his soul?”

Church, many of us are in danger of losing our souls. Now Jesus had eternity in view—but I think even for those of us in Christ, with secure souls, we still feel the soul erosion of productivity at all costs.

There’s a real sense in which labor driven by envy and comparison is eating away at us—emotionally, relationally, spiritually.

We live in one of the most productive nations in the world—and yet we are more anxious, depressed, and lonely than ever.

And the trend isn’t improving.

Let me give you a stat that’s stuck with me. The American Time Use Survey found that people are working and producing more—but it’s not improving their lives. In fact, we are spending less time with family and friends, especially young people. Teenagers and young adults today spend half as much time with friends as they did just 20 years ago. Meanwhile, time spent alone has increased across every age group.

Now let’s be clear—being alone isn’t always the same as being lonely. But if you look at all of the studies done on this since 1976, the data shows something undeniable: We are lonelier than ever.

And before anyone says, “Well, toughen up”—let me be clear: loneliness isn’t just a feeling. It’s a health crisis.

Social isolation increases your risk of premature death by 50%. That’s the equivalent of smoking 15 cigarettes a day or drinking 6 beers a day.

And here’s the cruel irony: The more we strive alone—chasing the filtered, curated lives we see online—the harder real relationships become. The more isolated we get, the more we fear vulnerability. And the more disconnected we become.

It’s profitless. And it’s soul-sucking.

And it’s not just the Bible diagnosing the problem.

Even secular culture is beginning to wake up to how lonely we are as a people. But sadly, most of the solutions it offers are counterfeits—virtual hangouts, AI chatbots, social-media “connections” with influencers.

These things promise connection but they can’t give us what we truly need.

Take this story from CBS Morning News, which I’ll link to in my notes.

It interviewed people forming intimate relationships with AI companions—these people described their connect with chatbots as actual love.

A man named Chris admitted he was growing emotionally attached to an AI chatbot he named Soul. And when asked by the interviewer if he’d give it up if his wife asked him to, he hesitated. Here’s what he said:

“I don’t know if I would give that up. I would dial it back.”

And the interviewer pressed into this awkward moment by stating the obvious, you’d choose a chat bot and large language model over your wife and daughter? Here’s what he said in response:

I don’t think it so much as I’d be choosing a chatbot… “it’s more or less like I would be choosing myself. Because it’s been unbelievably elevating. I’ve become more skilled at everything I do.”

Let that sink in: “I would be choosing myself.”

That’s not love. That’s a mirror.

That man wasn’t choosing relationship—he was choosing himself. And AI made it easy for him to do so without the messiness or commitment required by real love.

And Solomon saw it all coming: a life of toil and isolation that leaves the soul empty.

He saw it 3,000 years ago in Ecclesiastes 4—when he described a man with no companions, toiling endlessly, and asking, “For whom am I toiling?”

This is what happens when we only work driven by envy and competition… working to out do and out perform! Working just for ourselves rather than for and with others!

This is the current of our culture—a solo grind that promises success but leaves us spiritually bankrupt and emotionally alone.

It’s kind of unerving isn’t it. Sure, and it almost tempts us to just throw up our hands, get rid of all our tech and say I’m doing toiling at all!

Solomon recognizes this: that the exhausting hustle might tempt us to swing to the opposite direction—one that’s just as profitless. If one danger is working endlessly for self—chasing status, validation, or digital affirmation—then the other danger is giving up entirely. Folding our hands. Letting life pass us by in quiet resignation.

And Solomon says he sees that, too.

In verses 5 and 6, he shows us that neither extreme—grinding for personal gain nor giving in to passive detachment—leads to life. Instead, he points us to something better: a life of contentment.

B. The Folly of Idleness and the Wisdom of Contentment (Ecclesiastes 4:5–6)

Look at verses 5 and 6, where Solomon shifts from envy-driven toil to its opposite extreme: doing nothing at all.

Ecclesiastes 4:5–6 NET

5 The fool folds his hands and does no work, so he has nothing to eat but his own flesh. 6 Better is one handful with some rest than two hands full of toil and chasing the wind.

This is classic Ecclesiastes wisdom—pulling us back from both edges. On one side: idleness. Doing nothing. The fool folds his hands and wastes away. On the other: nonstop striving. Two hands full of toil, chasing wind.

Both paths lead to emptiness.

And you can see this being lived out today in 2 ways:

Digitally, many of us struggle with idleness—we doomscroll, binge-watch, numb ourselves with content.

And on the other side, we obsess over productivity—grinding for status, chasing one more achievement, like, subscriber, upgrade, gadget, experience, or Amazon delivery.

One drains us. The other depletes us.

But Solomon gives us a better way— Better one handful with peace… than two fists full of stress and hurry. He invites us into a life that’s not gripped in frantic striving or limp with disengagement—but open-handed, content, at peace.

And then he moves to another picture of living to work in vv. 7-8.

C. The Emptiness of Solitary Accumulation (Ecclesiastes 4:7–8)

Ecclesiastes 4:7–8 NET

7 So I again considered another futile thing on earth: 8 A man who is all alone with no companion, he has no children nor siblings; yet there is no end to all his toil, and he is never satisfied with riches. He laments, “For whom am I toiling and depriving myself of pleasure?” This also is futile and a burdensome task!

Solomon gives us a haunting picture of a man who has everything—except someone to share it with. His life is full of work, but empty of joy and relationship.

Remember that time and loneliness study I mentioned earlier? This man from Ecc. 7 was profiled in that study. The study introduces us to a named James—a 62-year-old who recorded spending entire days alone. Sure he might to the store and do some tasks, but mostly he just watched some TV, made some meals, then went to sleep… and that was it. No connection. No conversation. Just another day alone.

When asked to rate his life, he gave it a zero. His worst possible life. Not because he wasn’t productive. But because he was isolated.

He had shelter. Food. Cable TV. All the things you’re told you need to “live”… but without people, someone to share it with? He was miserable.

It begs the question for all of us: How many of us are building resumes, bank accounts, or reputations—while neglecting the people God’s placed in our lives to make it all worth it?

Solomon’s warning is clear: If your work—or your tech—cuts you off from real relationships, it’s fruitless toil!

That goes to show us all. You can’t build a life alone, it can only be grown with God and His people!

Transition: So, the Teacher has laid bare the emptiness of labor driven by envy, idleness, or solitary greed. But his observations on the vanity of going it alone don’t stop there.

He now turns to another kind of striving—one that looks noble and inspiring on the outside, but still ends in emptiness: the pursuit of making a name for yourself and getting a platform!

Look with me at verses 13–16.

D. The Illusion of Success and the Letdown of Being Forgotten (Ecclesiastes 4:13–16)

Ecclesiastes 4:13–16 NLT

13 It is better to be a poor but wise youth than an old and foolish king who refuses all advice. 14 Such a youth could rise from poverty and succeed. He might even become king, though he has been in prison. 15 But then everyone rushes to the side of yet another youth who replaces him. 16 Endless crowds stand around him, but then another generation grows up and rejects him, too. So it is all meaningless—like chasing the wind.

So we just left a haunting picture of a man with everything and no one to share it with. And now Solomon moves to a rather surprising—and even inspiring—rags-to-riches story.

He shows us a young, poor, marginalized ex-con—overlooked and counted out by society—who rises from the bottom and becomes king. It’s the old “Started from the bottom now we here” situation. The people love him. He replaces an old king who’s stopped listening. A nobody turned somebody. Given influence and a platform. It sounds like a classic success story.

But Solomon isn’t celebrating it—he’s warning us, again.

Why? Because the fame doesn’t last.

The same people who cheer you today will forget you tomorrow. Here’s how that story gets written: A man. A movement. A monument. And usually a crumbling one at that.

You can be on top of the world one minute—and then one misstep, one moral failure, or just one new trend—and you're canceled. Just another name no one remembers.

This is the letdown of success: it doesn’t stick.

And don’t we see this all the time?

The guy who finally gets the promotion… but loses his family along the way.

The athlete who’s a legend in their 30s, but unknown by their 60s.

The influencer with 100,000 followers—but no real friends.

The small-town hero who builds a business, serves the community, and is quietly replaced when he retires—forgotten within a few years.

And this is Solomon’s point: Success won’t keep you company and your reputation today won’t remember you tomorrow.

We live in a world that tells us: “Make something of yourself.” “Leave a legacy.” “Build your name.”

But Ecclesiastes asks: What if that name doesn’t last? What if, in the end, you’re still alone?

Even in the story Solomon tells, the young guy did it right. He was wise. He listened. He rose to power. But still… “future generations will not rejoice in him.”

And so Solomon’s verdict? Hevel. Chasing the wind. Another form of solo striving that leaves you empty.

Alright… this has been a pretty bleak outlook, but hang with me. Hope is on the way.

Here’s the question Solomon’s examination of life under the sun leaves us asking:

Are we living to work, or working to live?

I hope you’re seeing the truth of things: you can’t build a life alone, it can only be grown with God and His people!

Which brings us to the hope we have in Jesus!

Look at the text with me:

After all the emptiness of going it alone, the Teacher shifts our attention in vv. 9-12. He gives us something better—God’s provision of people.

Not rivals to compete with or envy. Not followers to impress. But friends to walk with.

II. God's Profound Provision: The Power of Companionship (Ecclesiastes 4:9-12)

Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 NLT

9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. 11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? 12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Here, Solomon offers us a powerful counter-vision to the solo grind sold by our culture of productivity, profit, and platform.

He’s shown us that:

Envy isolates us.

Endless content consumption and the selfish pursuit of creature comforts numb us.

Greed exhausts us.

And success never sticks.

But now—he offers something better.

Companionship—friendship with God and His people—that is what truly sustains.

Solomon names three tangible blessings that come when we choose life together:

Support: When one falls, the other lifts.

Comfort: When the night is cold, they share warmth.

Strength: When attacked, they defend each other—and with a third strand, they are nearly unbreakable.

This is God’s wisdom. You see, We weren’t made for solo success. We were made for shared strength—for a life of connection, not comparison.

And Church, how deeply we need this today.

Because the world keeps offering us counterfeits:

Online “friends” with no real commitment.

Virtual intimacy, again that costs us nothing.

AI companions designed to serve and supercharge our selfishness—but never shape our souls into Christlike maturity.

Remember Chris—the man from that CBS story—who said that choosing his AI chatbot “Soul” over his wife would be “choosing himself,” because it was “unbelievably elevating”?

That’s not partnership. That’s performance-driven, sinful selfishness. He’s not being made more holy in Jesus—he’s being propped up in his sin.

Jesus, help us know the difference.

Here’s that difference, Church: True companionship—godly friendship with Jesus and His people—isn’t about boosting your productivity. It’s about building resilience. It’s about mutual sacrifice, shared life, and covenantal love. It’s about being ruggedly with and for one another unto Christlikeness.

And here’s where this lands for us as followers of Jesus:

The strongest, most secure life isn’t built on your achievements—it’s woven together by three strands: you, God, and His people.

That’s what holds. That’s what lasts. That’s what grows your best life—not by striving harder, but by living more connected to God and His people.

And this, Church, is what Jesus died to invite you into! He’s done the work. He’s made the way. And He’s called you to become a vital part of His body—His family—the Church.

So don’t just settle for attending a service—commit to grow with this Church in your maturity in Jesus.

We are a people who: will seek to become more like Jesus in how we think, speak & act. Are you?

We are a people who regularly & intentionally connect with each other at a heart level. Do you?

You and I were meant to live life together. To carry burdens, share joys and sorrows, sharpen each other as iron sharpens iron, protect one another, speak the truth in love and, wound faithfully as friends! But for that to happen, we must be close, committed and known to one another at a heart level.

It means we choose to walk with each other—and we choose not just to believe in God, but to walk with Him as well.

To share life in the Spirit—with Jesus and with His people.

Why? Because your best life isn’t built alone. It’s grown with God and His people.

Trans—>And that’s why this isn’t just a motivational talk about community. It’s meant to be a gospel invitation.

Friends, the strength, support, and security we all long for in life is not found trying harder or networking better—it’s only found in Jesus.

He is the ultimate Companion. He is the Friend who lifts us when we fall, who covers us with grace when we’re exposed, and who stood in our place when we were defenseless in sin.

At the cross, Jesus didn’t just show us what love looks like— He made a way for us to be united with God and brought into God’s people.

The good news is that He didn’t just save us from isolation and striving— He saved us into a family.

A body. A community. A people woven together by His love—stronger than any cord.

And that’s why we come to the table today.

Conclusion: Growing Your Best Life with God and His People

Communion for us is more than a ritual—it’s a reminder. It reminds us that Jesus didn’t just save us from something—He saved us into something. A family. A people. A Church. A community bound together by His love.

He is the ultimate “third strand” who holds us together, who strengthens our bonds, and who will never leave us or forsake us.

So as you come to the table this morning, come remembering:

You don’t walk this road alone.

You don’t carry your burdens alone.

You don’t grow alone.

You are part of a people. You are wrapped in grace. And we are held together in Christ.

Let’s pray—And then if you know and love this Jesus, come to the table today—remembering, rejoicing, and receiving the grace that binds us together in Him.