Cultivating Gentleness
Notes
Transcript
Warren Brosi
July 13,2025
Dominant Thought: Our gentle Savior heals our spirit.
Objectives:
I want my listeners to understand the meaning of gentleness.
I want my listeners to fell the power of our words for good or bad.
I want my listeners to reflect our gentle Savior in our words.
“A gentle tongue is a tree of life.” “A gentle answers turns away wrath.” “A gentle tongue can break a bone.” (Proverbs 15.4, 1; 25.15).
Today, we encounter the eighth description of the fruit of the Spirit, gentleness. Our text is Proverbs 15:4, “The soothing tongue is a tree of life, but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit” (New International Version). The English Standard Version reads, ““A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit.” The word for gentle or soothing could also mean “healing.”
We’ll look at this two line proverb in reverse order. First, we’ll look at the danger of twisted speech and then we’ll look at the benefit of gentleness.
First, twisted speech crushes the spirit (Proverbs 15.4).
The New International version says, “a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.” Perverse has a root of “twisting, subverting, overcoming.” When someone twists words around to their advantage, it crushes the spirit.
In Proverbs 15:1 , we read, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”
Has anyone’s words every got them into trouble? In James 3, we find several warnings about our speech. “The tongue is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell” (James 3.6). “It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3.8). “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness” (James 3.9). “My brothers and sisters, this should not be” (James 3.10).
Jesus teaches that the mouth speaks what’s in your heart.
You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.
But I tell you that everyone will have to give account on the day of judgment for every empty word they have spoken.
When my sister was in high school, she studied hard and took summer classes. At the end of her sophomore year, she did the math and realized she had enough credits to graduate after her third year of high school. So, with the help of a guidance counselor she skipped her junior year in high school. Early in her school year as a senior, she had a teacher come up to her and say, “You may be graduating this year, but you are not a senior.” Words can break your spirit...if you let them. Our family had some history with that teacher. We considered the source and moved on.
Twisted speech crushes the spirit. We live in a world that thinks it must crush people to get ahead. One that lords authority over people and villainizes people who have differing opinions. We live in a world filled with anger and fury. “A harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15.1).
Thankfully, we have another way.
Second, gentle speech gives life (Proverbs 15.4).
The gentle tongue or the soothing tongue or the healing tongue is a tree of life. We have seen the tree of life earlier in Proverbs in Proverbs 3.18 describing wisdom as a tree of life. The tree of life bookends the Bible found in Genesis 2.9 and Revelation 22.2.
As we keep reading through Proverbs 15, we encounter other descriptions of our speech, “The tongue of the wise adorns knowledge, but the mouth of the fool gushes folly” (Proverbs 15.2). In Proverbs 15:7, “The lips of the wise spread knowledge; not so the hearts of fools.” We find other descriptions of our speech in Proverbs 15.13-4, 23, 26, 28.
Even in Proverbs 14:30, “A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.”
In Proverbs 25:15, we read about the strength of a gentle tongue.
Through patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a bone.
Gentleness has a strength that can break down the hardest resistance a person may have (Duane Garrett, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs).
Gentleness can describe the presence of God as a “gentle whisper” (1 Kings 19.12). In Acts 27.13, we Paul and companions at sea found a “gentle breeze.”
When a new horse needs trained, people usually will say it’s time to break the horse. Or people will ask is the horse broken. They mean is it safe around people and ready to ride. Another term for breaking a horse to gentling a horse or to gentle a horse.
Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom.
I can remember playing little league baseball in Seneca, MO. One of my friends, Bobby, was a good athlete. But you would never know it by the way his dad spoke to him from the bleachers. Every time Bobby made the slightest mistake on the baseball diamond, his dad would tear into him. It was embarrassing for all who attending. And you could see it in Bobby’s body language. He was a crushed little boy trying to play baseball up to his dad’s expectations.
Then, Bobby’s dad became a Christian. His demeanor and language at the ball games changed. I think his dad represented Proverbs 15.4 quite well. “A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit” (Proverbs 15.4).
Jon Barth, New Berlin graduate, wrote a book, The Ride Home. He gives parents and coaches guidance for children playing sports. The ride home is based on the conversation after the game on the ride home. One sentence Jon encourages adults to speak to children after their games is, “I love watching you play. I love seeing you out there.” It is not about their performance. It’s about your relationship with your child. A gentle tongue is a tree of life.
Gentleness describes church leaders. In 1 Timothy 3.3, an elder is “not violent but gentle.”
In the verses following the fruit of the Spirit we read how to keep in step with the Spirit and to interact with someone who is caught in sin in Galatians 5.24-6.1.
Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.
Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other.
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.
In Luke 7.36-50, we encounter an example of the gentleness of Jesus compared with the twisted speech of a religious leader. Jesus was having dinner at a religious leader’s house. Behold a woman who was a sinner came to Jesus and anointed his feet with the ointment. She was weeping and wet his feet with her tears and wipe them with her hair. She kissed the feet of Jesus.
The leader said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort a woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner” (Luke 7.39). Jesus confronts the leader and say who would love a person more? If two people have debts and both debts are forgiven, but one of them had a bigger debt. Which one would love the one who canceled their debt more? The leader replies, “I suppose the one who had a bigger debt forgiven.” Jesus answer, “Correct.” Then, Jesus looked at the woman and said, “Your sins are forgiven....Your faith has saved you go in peace” (Luke 7.48, 50).
That’s a picture of our gentle Savior. One who heals hearts and forgives sins.
Our gentle Savior heals our spirit.
The clearest description of the heart of Jesus is found in Matthew 11.28-30. He is gentle.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
Ways to cultivate gentleness.
1-Watch Jesus. Read the gospels and see how Jesus was gentle. He was strong and gentle.
2-Pray for difficult people.
Saint Nilus of Sinai (died around 430 AD), was a desert church father. He left his wife and took one of his two sons to Sinai to join a monastery to become a monk. In the year 410, invaders known as Saracens, stormed the monastery and took Nilus’ son, Theodulos, as a prisoner. They sold him as a slave. Nilus left the monastery to go find his son. He found his son and they returned back to Sinai. Nilus is credited with writing, “Prayer is the seed of gentleness and the absence of anger.” (Source for the story: https://www.newadvent.org/cathen/11079b.htm).
3-Evaluate your media intake. Are you feeding your mind and soul with violent images or angry social media feeds? Remember Jesus reminded us, “out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.”
4-Consider your tone. The proverbs shared how a gentle answer turns away wrath (Proverbs 15.1) and is strong enough to break a bone (Proverbs 25.15).
When we take these steps to cultivate gentleness in our lives, then Jesus can bring healing to our lives and our world. Remember, Our gentle Savior heals our spirit.
