Genesis 35:16-29

God is often absent in the ways we most desire, but present in the way we most require.

I have a storied life. I have been to places and done things that make for a robust resume and a good slideshow. All of it comes with lots of stories. And I don’t hide much of it.

During our family service, one of the activities was playing “2 lies and a truth,” and I couldn’t do it because my family knows everything about me!

Even so, there is plenty of life that doesn’t make the highlight reel. A couple of months ago, I was on a retreat with other leaders, and we were each tasked with telling our story in five minutes or less. So much has to be left out! So much of the in-between, the mundane, the struggle, moments of pain, betrayals, diversions.

Whether these moments or experiences make the telling of the story, or come up in conversation, or are never even mentioned aloud, they still happened. And somehow, God has used all of it to form me into the man that I am. To draw me to himself. He has been there for all of it - he is the only One that truly knows the full story, and he is weaving it all for his glory.

Your life, too is part of his tapestry.

Today we find ourselves in one of these side stories, which usually don’t make the flannel graphs or get a chapter in the storybook Bible. The flow of life, and death, the collection of names, and heartbreak, maybe even joy.

But I didn’t want to skip over it; it might just be more important than some of the more famous encounters, because it reveals that in the midst of pain and chaos, God is weaving a tapestry of hope and redemption that will ultimately reflect his glory and faithfulness.

When he seems absent, he is still working, and in that we can take heart.

God is often absent in ways we most desire, but present in the ways we most require.

Owe that line, and more, to David Bowden, a spoken word poet, founder of Spoken Gospel.

In Genesis, we have just come from the heights - Bethel - God’s presence - reaffirmation of the covenant, new identity for Jacob, Yahweh declaring himself “God almighty!”

Then in these 13 verses, life goes on, covering years, miles, and Yahweh isn’t even mentioned.

What we desire is Bethel, more than Bethel really, we long to see God’s face, to be in his presence.

Psalm 73:25 “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you.” (ESV)

2 Corinthians 5:1–2 Our Heavenly Dwelling “For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. [2] For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, (ESV)

2 Corinthians 5:5–8 “He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee. [6] So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, [7] for we walk by faith, not by sight. [8] Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord.” (ESV)

Just last week, a couple of you were asking about how to consume news presented factually, from a neutral perspective. I gave some advice, but then the question was how can we view it without becoming depressed?! And for that I had no advice!

Romans 8:22–23 “For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. [23] And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.” (ESV)

Psalm 16:11 “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.” (ESV)

Until Jesus brings the full presence of God, we are like David, aware of where fullness of joy is found, and longing for it.

But it is not yet.

We have to do the dishes first.

From this narrative, I want to extract some clues for us when God feels absent, to help us through, and to take hope in His purpose and presence.

Pivotal pain, perplexing problems, persistent promise.

Pivotal Pain

I used to dislike short-term mission trips and church camps. For me, at the time, it wasn’t about the spiritual experience exclusively, but as a committed extrovert, getting to spend a week or more with friends, with shared mission, space, 24/7 engagement, it was life-giving. And then you came home, and the crash would come. Post-conference blues. Alone, a sense of sadness… Thankfully, I have grown out of it.

But this feels like a similar crash. Jacob had the experience with God, and then as they continued on, his beloved wife Rachel went into labor and the result would bring pain.

This is an answer to her prayer. If you remember from her son Joseph’s birth.

Genesis 30:24 “And she called his name Joseph, saying, “May the LORD add to me another son!” (ESV)

But she began hemorrhaging, and as her soul was departing, she named her second son “son of my sorrow.”

Rachel, who Jacob loved. Who he essentially sold himself away for 14 years as labor as a bride price for.

Not yet home, to their final destination. What were their plans? Growing old together? Watching their children grow up, become honorable men?

Her son, renamed Benjamin “son of the right hand” or “son of the south” by his father, will never know her.

At the end of his life Jacob marks this as a key moment in his blessing of Ephraim and Mannasseh taking Joseph’s sons as his own.

Genesis 48:7 “As for me, when I came from Paddan, to my sorrow Rachel died in the land of Canaan on the way, when there was still some distance to go to Ephrath, and I buried her there on the way to Ephrath (that is, Bethlehem).” (ESV)

By no sin of his own, Jacob a patriarch - Israel - in covenant with God, and pain still comes.

This is why we groan with creation, pain remains. Like Jacob we experience deep pain in our losses and suffering as the brokenness of the world pervades.

It is what would lead the church being persecuted to cry out “Maranatha!” Our Lord Come!

Yet, in pain, we can be reminded of God’s presence and purpose. He is bringing forth new life and hope even amidst our darkest times. We can’t always see it up close, in the moment. The weaving on the back side of the tapestry may appear chaotic and unappealing, yet it forms something beautiful on the front.

Benjamin will play a vital role in reuniting the family in its desperation because of the love of one of his brothers.

Foreshadowing the ultimate hope found in Christ, who brings life through death on the cross.

In pain, you are not forgotten. Jesus, in telling his followers, persecution and pain would come…

Matthew 10:29–31 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. [30] But even the hairs of your head are all numbered. [31] Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows.” (ESV)

Even in the face of death, we have hope.

John 11:25–26 “Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. Whoever believes in me, though he die, yet shall he live, [26] and everyone who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” (ESV)

From this pivotal pain Jacob will go on, but more importantly, God’s purpose will go on, weaving through the stories and circumstances of real people experiencing real pain and holding onto the promise to stay rooted.

But there is more to this story.

Perplexing Problems

This is Reuben’s rebellion. Kind of random.

Genesis 35:22a “While Israel lived in that land, Reuben went and lay with Bilhah his father’s concubine. And Israel heard of it.” (ESV)

Oldest son, Leah’s first son. Asserting his privilege to take possession of what is his father’s.

There is turmoil in the family, and this is only the beginning of the dysfunction to come. These dynamics highlight human weakness and failures, yet they also remind us that God works through imperfect people.

“Reuben disgraced himself with his father’s concubine, Bilhah, and this serious offence came to Jacob’s notice. In the list of Jacob’s sons which follows Reuben is named in his privileged position as first-born, but when Jacob came to the point of giving his deathbed blessing Reuben did not have the pre-eminence (49:4). This was no arbitrary decision on the part of Jacob, but rather a judicial disinheritance resulting from his grave misdeed. In view of the fact that Simeon and Levi had brought their father into disrepute (34:30), the fourth son, Judah, was next in line to inherit the birthright privileges. He became spokesman for the brothers when they went to Egypt for a second time and offered to become a surety for Benjamin (chapters 43 and 44). In Jacob’s deathbed blessing Judah was to be the one before whom his brothers would bow (49:8). Hundreds of years later David of the tribe of Judah was to become king over the whole of Israel, and eventually Jesus the Messiah was to be born into his line. Such far-reaching themes, spanning both Testaments, defy human explanation.” Joyce G. Baldwin

God’s purpose prevails. Still Reuben would be a vital character in the story ahead, keeping Joseph alive, which will save the family and keep the covenant intact.

He bears the consequences of his sin, including the loss of his position. But he still has a role.

God uses struggles to refine us and fulfill his plan.

God doesn’t just make lemonade out of lemons; he wants lemonade, so he plants a lemon grove.

We still own the ramifications of our sin, but in Christ, the penalty of our sin has been taken on by him, and our position, our union with him, is never in jeopardy.

Romans 5:2–5 “Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. [3] Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, [4] and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, [5] and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” (ESV)

“Christ is at work not only in the high points of life — when we scale the Alps — but also in the valleys and plains. He is Lord when we traverse the lowlands and even when we are mired in the pit. He is at work in the crevices of life.”

Buoys us when the perplexing things of life come close to us, impact us, whether we are responsible or not. We don’t lose hope, but on the contrary, we rejoice.

1 Peter 1:6–7 “In this you rejoice, though now for a little while, if necessary, you have been grieved by various trials, [7] so that the tested genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that perishes though it is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ.” (ESV)

It is all headed somewhere glorious.

Persistent Promise

“Now the sons of Jacob were twelve.”

This is his presence in the way we require. Jacob having twelve sons showcases God’s faithfulness. Even as Jacob faces loss and family dysfunction, God is laying the groundwork for Israel’s tribes. This is God’s unwavering commitment to his promises.

Even in returning to Isaac, who breathed his last and was gathered to his people, old and full of days, promise was kept.

And this, a family list, settling down, and a long list of descendants of Esau to follow, just shows the mundane reality of life. We keep plodding along.

Not even mentioned in these verses, His plan and promise are unfolding through the very human lives of Jacob and his family.

God’s purposes prevail despite life’s difficulties.

God has been, and still is, present with us in all the ways we require: sustaining the world, revealing his word, keeping covenants, sending the Spirit, and preeminently, giving us Jesus.

Christ is the ultimate promise of redemption for humanity, the serpent crusher, the offspring by whom all the families of the earth shall be blessed, and he is where this family is headed.

And because all of this is true, we keep going, trusting, pressing forward, through pain, all that is perplexing, because we have promise in Christ.

Romans 8:28–29 “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. [29] For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” (ESV)

May be an eternal good… but also to do a conforming work in us, to make us like Jesus.

“God is always working — do we see it? He’s actively working in the cracks and commonness of life. Monotony is not contrary to faithful gospel labor. Rather, faithfulness is cultivated in the furnace of routine, where we learn discipline, develop steadfastness, cultivate patience, and foster eyes to see Christ at work.

While faithful plodding gets no fanfare, our labors in Christ will not be in vain. We honor Christ as we go about the millions of little moments in our lives: holding a baby, cooking a meal, leading our home, providing through work.

So, if life feels boring, the days feel long, the tasks feel mundane, and the plodding feels like it’s gone on long enough, take heart. God is transforming you — moment by moment, day by day, year by year — into the image of his Son. He is strengthening your faith muscles so that you might be “steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain” (1 Corinthians 15:58).” Steven Lee, Desiring God

God is at work in ordinary people sometimes doing unremarkable things to accomplish his divine purposes.

In Christ we all are part of this.

Colossians 3:17 “And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” (ESV)

Every stage, role, season of life is an opportunity to glorify God.

1 Corinthians 10:31 “So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (ESV)

Jesus is at work in the common things, the parts of the story that don’t always get told. The pain, that which is perplexing, in all of it.

God is often absent in the ways we most desire, but present in the way we most require.

How then do we carry on?

Pursue Him - If he feels absent, go after him. Psalm 34:10 “The young lions suffer want and hunger; but those who seek the LORD lack no good thing.” (ESV)

Running after God is one of the great joys of the Christian life. We do it by finding him in his word, in prayer, in worship, in community, in wonder. Ask him for more of him.

Live with Expectation - Think of the groom eager to see the bride enter the sanctuary for their wedding, the elation of expectation. God made us to experience great joy in expectation of him.

Hebrews 9:28 “so Christ, having been offered once to bear the sins of many, will appear a second time, not to deal with sin but to save those who are eagerly waiting for him.” (ESV)

As our desire for God’s nearness rises in this fallen world, our expectancy of his coming fullness grows. May we be people elated in expectation.

Know He is Here - Matthew 28:20b “And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (ESV)

His Spirit in you. Never alone. He is ever in control. Live accordingly. Secure. Free. Bold.

God is using all of it for his glory, for your transformation, for the building up of the church. Every part of your story, all of it being redeemed in Christ. What grace. What glory.