Part 1

Purpose of the Family

SORELY MISSING: ‘Family as a necessity’ vs ‘Family as a blessing’.

God established the family; and all God’s creation is purposeful

The family often serves as a perfect mirror of God and Creation

Christ —> Groom

Church (collective) —> Bride

Us (individuals) —> Children/heirs

If God uses the family to describe His will for creation, doesn’t it seem reasonable that we would seek to learn what this says about how we regard our own families?

Marriage

START WITH MARRIAGE: God clearly outlines the divinity of marriage in the Bible.

Marriage Creation

Matthew 19:1–6 CSB

1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he departed from Galilee and went to the region of Judea across the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees approached him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that he who created them in the beginning made them male and female, 5 and he also said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore, what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Marriage mirrors God’s Creation

Genesis 2:18–24 CSB

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.” 19 The Lord God formed out of the ground every wild animal and every bird of the sky, and brought each to the man to see what he would call it. And whatever the man called a living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all the livestock, to the birds of the sky, and to every wild animal; but for the man no helper was found corresponding to him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to come over the man, and he slept. God took one of his ribs and closed the flesh at that place. 22 Then the Lord God made the rib he had taken from the man into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called “woman,” for she was taken from man. 24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.

THE RIB: “Not made out of his head to top him, not out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.” - Matthew Henry (Commentator)

Some say rib may actually be analogy for a ‘core component’.

LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER

Independence of the family unit

Prioritize divine association over old comforts

Equal But Unique

Adam —> Work Leader

Eve —> Adam’s Strength

The picture painted in Genesis is one of purpose: Adam is driving the work of the two but Eve is essential to Adam’s effectiveness. WHO IS REALLY IN CHARGE?

MISCONCEPTION WARNING: There is a difference between talking marriage roles vs talking about the value of people.

This is about purposeful living, not value propositions.

Christ already determined that everyone, regardless of gender, was equally unqualified for glory and equally deserving of grace when He died on the cross!

Read what Christ says about marriage in Matthew 19:1-6 and carefully consider the phrase “what God has joined together”. What is the difference between a marriage based on practicality or even secular “life goals” (wanting kids, the idyllic “white picket fence”, etc) vs one based on faith? How do they look different? What will it drive both parties to do which may differ from other couples? Read the Genesis of man and woman in Genesis 2:18-24 and note the essential nature of Adam and Eve to one another. What does this say about the dependencies each side have to one another? How is that often lost in cultural discussions of gender norms and societal roles? What is the primary motivator for someone looking for purpose in the structure of marriage from a Biblical perspective that might be lost on secular crowds?

Marriage Roles

Paul commentates a few times on the roles of men and women in marriage.

When Paul speak, it is about the mechanics of family roles, including husbands, wives, and children.

It points towards God having a plan for all and purpose for alll.

Relates the family-imagery of Christ and the church to the husband-wife relationship

Ephesians 5:22–33 CSB

22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, 23 because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or anything like that, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands are to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of his body. 31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. 32 This mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

Wives —> Respect your husbands.

Husbands —> Love wives unconditionally.

Male Roles

Dispel Unhelpful Stereotype… THE BIBLE IS MISOGYNISTIC —> Husbands commanded to love wives as themselves (sounds like a equal “value proposition” to me)

NOPE! “THE BIBLE PUTS ADAM IN AUTHORITY OVER EVE” —> Contextualized by purpose, sure, but that’s not importance or value… it’s calling

Marine Corps Tradition: “Leaders Eat Last” by Simon Sinek

This is not loving your wife as yourself...

… dumping your kids on your wife so you can go out, hunt, fish, or do other recreation.

… engaging in transactional behavior to ‘keep things even’… you enjoy grace and understanding so sometimes inequity is needed for peace and harmony.

… complaining about your wife to coworkers or friends.

For Christianity to by misogynistic and authoritarian, it would need to permit a level of oppression we don’t see. This is a relationship defined by selflessness and sacrificed (just a Christ showed us) and that is what we are called to do as husbands.

Your authority is in your work, not your value.

Female Roles

Not About Empowerment… It’s About Purpose

Genesis 2:15–18 CSB

15 The Lord God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden, 17 but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will certainly die.” 18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper corresponding to him.”

There is a purpose to which the family is oriented: serving God. To this purpose, the man is primarily given responsibility for the work; Eve is there because man isn’t capable.

Be Your Husband’s Strength

JOB: Know your husband’s weaknesses.

JOB: Know how to motivate and encourage him.

ROLE: Provide support, not insurrection.

Correction and accountability in love (not judgment or self-righteousness).

Drive them towards “doing their job” as leaders of the work.

The wife’s role is not “less” or “more” than the man’s; it is fundamentally different which reflects other fundamental differences in our creation.

Society bases discussions of gender on flawed concepts of “human value”. The “value” is equally precious and equally atoned by Christ.

The work to be done requires different elements; a diversity reflected in our Creation.

Read what Paul says about marriage roles in Ephesians 5:22-33. Note that Paul is very explicitly talking about roles husbands and wives serve within marriage and NOT societal gender roles. Paul emphasizes ROLES because the Biblical idea of marriage is that it is purposeful. Read Genesis 2:15-18 for a glimpse of that purpose. 1) What kind of Christ-serving work can families do? How can families bless the world around them? 2) Can a family exist if everyone is identical in personality, strengths, and weaknesses? How does Paul’s description match the intuitive and widely accepted idea that strong couples complement and supplement each other’s strengths and weaknesses, respectively? 3) Think of secular/political debates about gender roles (not gender identity… that’s a different sermon). How does injecting those discussions with this lesson appear to totally miss the point of what Paul (and God) are conveying?

Reflections of God’s Design

Marriage is purposeful; not a pipe-dream.

Purpose-driven marriage lasts because it is based on a cause that doesn’t change with mistakes, trauma, or transgressions.

This reflects Christ’s relationship with us. He did not base death on the cross upon what His person could get out of it or what we could do for Him.

LOOKING FORWARD: The same sense of purpose exists when we look at how we support our children spiritually. (which we’ll talk about next week)

Exporting your responsibilities for teaching your kids about Christ is no different than exporting the sense of purpose and fulfillment in your marriage.

God built everything to be purposefully beautiful. Is that how you would describe your view of marriage?

God DOES intend blessing for you. And that blessing comes from living with the contentment of a household that is driven by God’s plan rather than our own desires.