Spiritual Formation 201 - Part 8 - How to Bless Those Who Curse You

Last week’s soul training - Silence

So, how did we do with silence or not lying?

A day in silence

A day without lying

Anyone pull it off? Anybody want to share?

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Key Text: Matthew 5:38–48

Opening Thought: Two Competing Narratives

The kingdom of this world tells us:

“Hit back—and hit back harder.”

We are taught from a young age to defend ourselves, assert our rights, and retaliate when wronged. This is celebrated in movies, sports, politics—even in personal relationships. It's the “don’t be a doormat” mantra. When someone insults us, sues us, takes advantage of us, or begs from us, the world says: "Protect yourself, defend your rights, and don’t be anyone’s doormat."

But Jesus, in the Sermon on the Mount, offers a counter-cultural Kingdom narrative:

“Do not resist an evil person... Turn the other cheek... Go the second mile... Give to the one who asks.”

This isn’t weakness. It’s strength under the control of love. And it’s the path of spiritual formation for every apprentice of Jesus. Jesus calls His followers to live out of a deep reservoir of divine sufficiency. This kind of living transforms not only our enemies but us as well.

False Narrative: “If I don’t fight back, I’ll be defeated.”

This narrative assumes the world is a zero-sum game. That if someone takes from you, you’re left with less. That justice depends on your ability to fight for it.

This lie is grounded in scarcity and self-preservation. It says:

“There’s not enough dignity, respect, or justice to go around.”

“If I let this go, I lose.”

But in God’s Kingdom, there is always enough—enough justice, provision, and identity in Christ.

Jesus reveals a better way—not passive surrender, but active non-retaliation born of spiritual abundance.

Practical Shift:

Reflect on Psalm 23:1: “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.” Say it aloud when tempted to defend yourself out of fear.

Exploring Jesus’ Four Illustrations (Matthew 5:38–42)

1. When Someone Insults or Attacks Us (v39)

“If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also.”

Real-Life Example: I used to work in the corporate world in an office environment with a lot of people who were all trying to get ahead. One thing I saw happen often was the situation where...

A coworker spreads a rumor about you. Instead of lashing out or plotting revenge. In a case like that, the kingdom response is you refuse to retaliate. You continue to show kindness and integrity.

In Jesus day, A slap on the right cheek (usually with the back of the hand) was more insult than injury—an attack on dignity.

Jesus doesn’t say “let people abuse you,” but instead teaches us not to retaliate.

Blessing those who curse you means refusing to live in cycles of retaliation. It’s the courage to absorb wrong with love and self-control.

Spiritual Formation Insight: This requires dying to the ego and resting in the security of being God’s beloved.

Practical Ways to Bless:

Practice silence: When insulted, pause and choose not to react immediately.

Speak peace: If appropriate, offer a kind word in return. (“I hear you're upset—how can I make this right?”)

Pray for your insulter. Name them before God daily.

Spiritual Practice:

Memorize 1 Peter 3:9: “Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing…”

2. When Someone Sues You for What is Rightfully Theirs (v40)

“If anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.”

In Jesus’ day, a person might be so poor they had only one garment to their name.

The “coat” was protected under Jewish law—it couldn’t be taken. But Jesus says, give it freely.

This is not about enabling injustice, but revealing that our value is not rooted in our possessions.

Spiritual Formation Insight: Only people secure in God’s provision can live with radical generosity.

Practical Ways to Bless:

Be quick to release. Don’t let possessions own you.

Offer more than expected. Show them that your identity is not in stuff but in Christ.

Spiritual Practice:

Fast one small luxury this week and donate the savings to someone in need.

3. When Someone Imposes on You (v41)

“If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.”

Roman soldiers could legally force Jews to carry their gear one mile.

Jesus says, go two miles—willingly, joyfully, as a free act of love.

The first mile may be obligation. The second mile is freedom and witness.

Spiritual Formation Insight: A Christlike spirit doesn’t merely endure inconvenience; it transforms it.

Practical Ways to Bless:

Say yes with joy. Even to small, annoying asks.

Surprise people with grace. Offer help before being asked.

Spiritual Practice:

Each day, ask: Where can I go the extra mile today for someone difficult?

4. When Someone Begs from You (v42)

“Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.”

Jesus isn’t promoting indiscriminate giving, but open-heartedness.

He challenges our tendency to close ourselves off because of fear or self-protection.

Spiritual Formation Insight: Our generosity reveals whether we trust in scarcity or God’s sufficiency.

Real-Life Example:

A struggling acquaintance asks for a favor or financial help. Instead of dodging them, you give what you can—and offer prayer or time.

Practical Ways to Bless:

Create a margin for generosity. Carry gift cards, keep a small “blessing envelope” in your car or bag.

Give with discernment but without judgment.

Spiritual Practice:

Set a weekly generosity goal. Even $5 intentionally given can train your heart in abundance.

Jesus’ Call to Love Our Enemies (Matthew 5:43–48)

“You have heard... Love your neighbor and hate your enemy. But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you…”

Jesus raises the bar here. The goal is not just avoiding revenge—it’s loving those who hurt us. This love is not emotional affection—it’s agape: a choice to will their good.

This is not a suggestion—it is the DNA of the Kingdom.

God’s love is indiscriminate: He “causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good.”

Loving enemies forms us into children of our Father in heaven—it makes us perfect, not in flawlessness, but in wholeness, completeness, maturity.

Spiritual Formation Insight: You don’t become this kind of person by trying harder. You become this person by putting on Christ.

Practical Ways to Bless Enemies:

Make a prayer list of difficult people. Pray blessing over their jobs, health, and families.

Do one unexpected act of kindness this week for someone who has hurt or annoyed you.

Spiritual Practice:

Reflect on the cross: Jesus prayed for His enemies while dying at their hands. Let that vision shape your reactions.

“Putting On Christ” — The Key to Living This Out

Paul writes in Romans 13:14:

“Clothe yourselves with the Lord Jesus Christ, and do not think about how to gratify the desires of the flesh.”

You cannot return blessing for cursing unless Christ is living in you.

To “put on Christ” means:

Taking off the old self—letting go of defensiveness, control, pride, bitterness, revenge and ego.

Being clothed in Christ’s humility, love, and trust in the Father.

Responding with humility, mercy, hope, and freedom.

Practicing His way until it becomes your way.

Practical Ways to Practice:

Begin each day with this prayer: “Lord Jesus, clothe me with your Spirit. Let your love be my instinct today.”

Before a difficult conversation, pause and imagine yourself wrapped in Jesus’ robe.

Miroslav Volf’s Insight: “More Than Enough” People

“If we are indwelled by Christ who became poor that we can become rich, we will be rich. No matter how little we have, we will be ‘more than enough’ people... and yet, without being ‘more than enough’ people, our wanting will always outpace our having, and we'll end up perpetually exhausted and forever dissatisfied.”

This quote reveals the root of retaliation and self-protection: fear of not having enough. But when we are full of Christ, we are not needy people—we are overflowing people. The more we trust in God’s abundance, the freer we are to bless others—even our enemies.

Practical Implication:

Stop waiting to feel full. Start living as if you are. The feeling will follow the practice.

Whenever you’re tempted to protect, ask: Am I reacting out of fear or fullness?

Spiritual Practice:

End each day reflecting on one moment you blessed instead of retaliated. Thank God for His Spirit in you.

Discussion Questions

Which of Jesus’ four examples do you find most challenging, and why? When have you been tempted to retaliate instead of bless?

What false narratives of retaliation or self-protection have shaped your responses? What cultural messages have formed your instincts?

In what practical ways can we “put on Christ” this week? Think morning routines, prayer, journaling, fasting, etc.

How does viewing yourself as a “more than enough” person change how you respond to injustice or insult? What would shift in your relationships or leadership?

Who is one person you can bless this week—even if they don’t deserve it? Name them. Plan something concrete.

This Week’s Soul Training

Each day, pray this:

“Lord, today I choose to put on Christ. Help me to bless those who curse me, to forgive those who insult me, and to respond with love. Form me into your likeness.”

Then reflect:

When did I have the opportunity to go the second mile?

How did I respond to those who made demands of me?

Was I generous or protective?

Did I see myself as rich in Christ, or poor in self?

Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus, You were insulted, mistreated, misunderstood, and rejected—yet you never struck back. You trusted your Father and gave yourself in love. Teach us to live like that. Form our hearts to bless, not curse. Make us more-than-enough people, clothed in your grace. And when the world presses hard, remind us: you are our strength. Amen.