Any Cause
Notes
Transcript
Jesus teaches that divorce is always a wound on the order of adultery. Marriage is a creation of God, not a human institution to manipulate for maximum pleasure. Marriage is for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven… as celibacy is for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven. Seek first the Kingdom.
Winning the Game
Winning the Game
In every era of human history, there is a way to win the game. You learn the rules, you learn the boundaries of what is possible, and you do the best you can within the rules, maybe bending some rules if you can get away with it, you do the best you can to win.
In our capitalist society, the narrative is that you work hard, earn all the monies, and that’s essentially how we keep score.
Alternatively, if you are more interested in pleasure than money, you maximize your pleasure however and whenever and wherever you can and the money is just a means to an end.
Now, in 1st Century Palestine, say you want to maximize money or pleasure. It isn’t a capitalist society, so the “work hard earn all the money” thing isn’t going to work so well. The best and easiest way to earn money (or power) is to marry into it.
So, marry rich. Check the dowry, marry up.
Similarly, there are these “laws” the Pharisees are always going on about, so you can only marry one woman, and adultery is punishable by stoning to death, so that limits how many woman you can sleep with.
Here’s the loophole.
The divorce process was simple: write a “certificate” of divorce. Could be on the back of a napkin. This is easier than legal zoom. Give it to wife. Done.
So, in theory, you could upgrade wives as often as you wanted, either for money or pleasure. Not so much an option for the wife, in general.
This is the cultural backdrop of today’s passage. We have visited this passage previously, looking ahead from the Sermon on the Mount, but there’s some more we didn’t cover. If I could skip, I would skip, because the subject of Divorce is painful and personal, having walked that road myself.
Recap
Recap
Jesus has been in Galilee, in Capernaum, and he was teaching his disciples about Greatness in the Kingdom.
It now seems like he is starting a new topic, a new section, often indicated by Matthew as Jesus travels to a new region. Now into the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.
And here come the Pharisees to test him. Recall that ever since his healing on the Sabbath, they have been out to get him, to trap him into saying something they can take him down on.
Any Cause Divorce
Any Cause Divorce
1 Now when Jesus had finished these sayings, he went away from Galilee and entered the region of Judea beyond the Jordan.
2 And large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3 And Pharisees came up to him and tested him by asking, “Is it lawful to divorce one’s wife for any cause?”
This reaches back to the debate between Rabbi Shammai and Rabbi Hillel. Is the “escape clause” in Deuteronomy (which isn’t even really permission, but an acknowledgment that it happens)… is that for adultery only or for “any reason” a man finds disfavor in his wife or favor in another?
Actually, let’s read the law:
1 “When a man takes a wife and marries her, if then she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some indecency in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, and she departs out of his house,
2 and if she goes and becomes another man’s wife,
3 and the latter man hates her and writes her a certificate of divorce and puts it in her hand and sends her out of his house, or if the latter man dies, who took her to be his wife,
4 then her former husband, who sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after she has been defiled, for that is an abomination before the Lord. And you shall not bring sin upon the land that the Lord your God is giving you for an inheritance.
Is that permission to divorce? Not really. “When a man does this…”
There is an understanding that it is going to happen, but it is not even really permission.
Jesus cuts through all that noise.
Jesus reaches back to Creation and the origin of marriage:
4 He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female,
5 and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?
6 So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”
It isn’t about what Moses “allowed”… here is God’s vision, God’s intention, this is what we should be aiming for.
But the Pharisees are stuck on trying to trap Jesus… and what they can get away with.
7 They said to him, “Why then did Moses command one to give a certificate of divorce and to send her away?”
Note. He didn’t. Not really. Jesus could have said that, but instead, he addresses the heart. Their heart, and that of Moses.
8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
Because of your hardness of heart…
That is a profound statement about the Mosaic law, by the way. Was there accomodation for human hardness of heart, for societal patterns, maybe even for the place and kind of society Israel was at the time of the giving of the law?
Jesus says there is.
I do think the 10 Commandments are special in this way, written on stone tablets by the finger of God and placed in the ark, where the rest of the laws, like this one, were transcribed by Moses on paper, kept “beside” the ark of the covenant… but that’s another subject.
This “allowance” is not God’s ideal, it is allowed because of human “hardness” of heart.
And then Jesus says the hard thing. Again:
8 He said to them, “Because of your hardness of heart Moses allowed you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.
9 And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”
I don’t think Jesus is calling out special punishment or condemnation on those who divorce. He is accurately describing what divorce does.
Jesus isn’t giving a new law, he is describing a truth about humans. It is a truth about marriage and what it means to separate souls. It is a truth about society and how it will judge and condemn.
If the focus is on “how can I legally get out”… the focus is on the wrong place.
Divorce is a bleeding wound. Sometimes, very rarely, a bleeding wound is necessary to address some other ongoing wounds. Jesus talks about adultery, that’s one. It doesn’t mean that marriages can’t heal and be restored after adultery, many have, many do, God can heal and restore the broken. But if there’s ongoing patterns, or no repentance or intention, it may be a necessary evil.
Paul gives pastoral counsel to folks who are struggling with unbelieving spouses… or abandonment. It isn’t new laws for the Christian, we aren’t under law. It is counsel on how to love well.
This isn’t Jesus giving counsel on how to shame and condemn the adulterer… it is that in the case of adultery EVERY ONE ALREAD SAW THE WOUNDS.
In fact there was a trial and potentially stoning. There was no hiding the wound.
Jesus says all divorce is like that, don’t pretend otherwise.
But it isn’t about shame and condemnation in one case and not in the other. How did Jesus treat the actual woman caught in the act of adultery?
“Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more.”
The rebuke is here: stop trying to find ways out of your marriage. Excuses that let you escape easy. There is no “easy” escape. Divorce, when and wherever and why-ever it occurs is a painful separation of souls, separation of flesh, separation of families.
And so it makes all the sense in the world that his disciples would retort:
10 The disciples said to him, “If such is the case of a man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”
Doesn’t that reveal something about their heart?
How many of them are single? We don’t know. Not Peter, probably more had families, most were expecting to have families.
But if they are locked in, like this? Maybe not!
11 But he said to them, “Not everyone can receive this saying, but only those to whom it is given.
That’s cryptic. And yet Jesus has used this language a number of times now, and he will use it again with his disciples.
There are things, truths about the Kingdom of God, that are going to sound like nonsense to those not of the Kingdom of God. And this word on marriage is one of them.
11 And he answered them, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given.
So, what “Word” is this? What secret is here?
What is that Word on Marriage?
That God created it? That God hates all divorce? That all divorce is a wound to the soul, even as you already see and know sexual immorality is?
Or is it what the disciples say “is it better not to marry?”
Maybe Jesus clears it up?
12 For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.”
Eunuchs. To be clear, in general eunuchs are those who have had their sexual organs removed. It is used by extension also to those who have taken a vow not to use them.
We would call that a vow of celibacy.
Note that Jesus has two modes of life in mind, here. Marriage, man and woman. Eunuchs - aka celibate singleness. Those are the only categories in view. There is a word for all other states, the Bible calls it “porneia” (same root as our word pornography) and we translate it “sexual immorality.”
There is grace for it, forgiveness for it, but it is not a place God is willing that you should live and rest and stay because it is damaging to your self, to your soul.
Marriage or celibacy. So what’s this “eunuch” thing about?
So Jesus turns and points to a whole class, a community of people who aren’t all about maximizing pleasure or riches via marriage: eunuchs. Some by birth, some by accident, some on purpose by men, famously Kings making eunuchs of their wives guards… and some voluntarily for the sake of the kingdom.
I don’t think that’s about self-mutilation, but about singleness for the sake of total focus and devotion to the Kingdom.
Paul picks up this language, probably having been married earlier in life, so he is likely writing as a widow:
32 I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord.
But, more notably, Jesus himself seems to have been single and celibate his whole life, and was certainly wholly and completely devoted to the Kingdom of Heaven, start to finish.
We can certainly over-glorify marriage.
It is a blessing of God, a Creation of God, it is beautiful and challenging and all those things.
And, it is not for everyone. The church doesn’t do a great job of advocating and supporting those who have been born, or fallen into, or intentionally chosen a life of celibacy. And we should.
Jesus himself is living such a life. Many of his disciples listening likely went to martyrdom unmarried men, eunuchs for the sake of the Kingdom.
Maybe, just maybe, the “Word” is this: it is not “all about” who you marry, how pretty, how cute, how successful, how rich they are. It is not all about upgrading that situation until you find the best or “the one.” On the flip side, it is also not all about singleness and celibacy, which runs counter to an occasional glorification of singleness, say historically in the Catholic church among priests and nuns.
Marriage is a beautiful gift from God. King of the Kingdom.
And singleness, celibacy, for the sake of the Kingdom of Heaven is a beautiful gift from God.
The point, the direction, the goal, the purpose is neither marriage nor singleness… it is the Kingdom of God.
Let’s peek at the context of this story:
The context
The context
It is no accident that this passage comes immediately after the argument about who is greatest in the Kingdom of God… and Jesus flips the whole idea of “greatness” on its head.
Greatness in the Kingdom is the humble child.
Greatness in the Kingdom is forgiveness and reconciliation.
And what is the next passage after this?
13 Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people,
14 but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.”
15 And he laid his hands on them and went away.
Jesus hasn’t really moved on in subjects… it’s still all about the Kingdom.
After that, the rich young ruler and how to get into the Kingdom, and the first shall be last.
After that Laborers in the Vineyard… and then John and James Mom wanting them to be “right and left hand.” It’s one topic here.
Seek First the Kingdom
Seek First the Kingdom
The Kingdom comes before your marriage, before your singleness, and it banishes your brokenness and sin.
A measure of “Greatness” in their society and ours: who has the hottest wife, best wife, most obedient wife. Whose wife really cooks? Mine does. And she’s smokin’ hot. I win.
And, if the goal of life is to get ahead, maximize my pleasure and opportunities, what are the “allowable” reasons I can trade up? Or at least get out of an undesirable marriage?
Jesus says this is ENTIRELY the wrong attitude. He pulls back the curtain on the soul damage we do to one another and redirects our attention to God’s purpose in creating marriage.
But the heart of it is that our focus is in entirely the wrong place. It isn’t about maximizing your pleasure, your wealth, your outcomes, your productivity… either through marriage or through singleness.
Seek first the Kingdom.
Your marriage is a daily opportunity to practice love, to humble yourself, to forgive and reconcile again and again.
Seek first the Kingdom, in all things, including your marriage.
Eric Mackintosh shared some great advice with the boys about how to find “the girl.” Don’t focus on finding the girl, run to Jesus and see who is running with you. Love it.
The focus is “Seek first the Kingdom.”
And likewise, your singleness, your celibacy is a daily opportunity to practice love to humble yourself, to seek first the Kingdom.
To some, that is a season, to some it is a lifetime, to all outside of marriage.
Communion
Communion
The cup of communion picks up an marriage covenant language, after the marriage covenant language of the covenant at Sinai itself.
Here is the proposal. There is no ring, there is a cup. And the Suitor sets the cup before the Bride and says something like “this is my cup.”
He is saying “I love you, I want to spend my life with you, for you, will you marry me?”
And the Bride can think about it. She can ponder the proposal. She can walk away from the table.
Or she can say “Yes” by picking up the cup and drinking.
Jesus gives us, the Bride of Christ, his marriage proposal. The gift of great value: my Body broken for you. The cup of proposal, of covenant.
Ponder his proposal, and when you’re ready, come and receive his body and blood.
