More Than a Swipe: Dating on Purpose
Living on Purpose • Sermon • Submitted • Presented • 41:07
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· 18 viewsLiving on purpose: Dating; more than a swipe.
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Let’s be honest—dating today feels like navigating a minefield with a blindfold on.
Culture tells you: "Follow your heart," "Swipe right," "Test the waters," and "Do what feels good."
But God's Word paints a very different picture. Not one of confusion, but of clarity. Not chaos, but purpose.
You see, dating isn't just a social experiment—it’s a spiritual journey. It's not just about finding “the one”—it’s about becoming the one who honors God in every season, especially this one.
Whether you're single, dating, or raising someone who is, this message is for you.
Because God cares deeply about your love life—not because He wants to restrict your joy, but because He wants to protect and prepare you for something far better than the world offers.
So today, let’s clear the fog and look at God’s design for dating—a path marked by wisdom, purity, character, and community.
Seek God First
Before worrying about finding “the one,” focus on becoming the kind of person God wants you to be.
Your love life starts with loving Jesus first.
“When I have learned to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.”
— C.S. Lewis
“If you try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of identity on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself.”
— Tim Keller
33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
1 John 4:7–8 “7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God. 8 Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.”
Romans 12:1–2 “1 I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. 2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”
“When your heart is fixed on Christ, your relationships will begin to reflect His priorities. Once you’re seeking God above all, you’re ready to consider what dating is really for. Not for games. Not for emotional flings. It’s for something far greater…”
Date to Marry
It’s not for recreation, experimentation, or validation… If marriage isn’t the goal, you’re playing with someone’s heart.
Purpose: Discern if this person could be your spouse.
24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
“Dating without the intent of marriage is like going to the grocery store with no money. You either leave disappointed or take something that isn't yours.”
— Jefferson Bethke
Proverbs 4:7 “7 The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom, and whatever you get, get insight.”
1 Corinthians 10:31 “31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”
Song of Solomon 2:7 “7 I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or the does of the field, that you not stir up or awaken love until it pleases.”
“If the goal of dating is marriage, then we need to ask: What kind of person are you moving toward? And more importantly—what kind of person are you becoming? Chemistry may spark the fire, but it’s character that keeps it burning.”
Character over Chemistry
The world says, “Follow your heart.” God says, “Guard your heart.”
Emphasize godly character over surface-level attraction…. You may have fond feelings but are they filled with fruit??
30 Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.
“I want my daughter to marry a man who understands that marriage is not about his happiness; it’s about God’s glory.”
— Voddie Baucham
Proverbs 4:23 “23 Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life.”
“When we value character, we begin to honor God not just with our intentions—but with our actions. That’s where purity comes in. It’s not about rules—it’s about worship. Purity is how we say with our lives, ‘God, I trust Your design.’”
Pursue Purity
Sexual purity isn’t just about virginity—it’s about holiness of heart, mind, and body.
Set physical and emotional boundaries… Boundaries aren’t legalism—they’re love.
1 “I have made a covenant with my eyes; how then could I gaze at a virgin?
3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God;
God isn’t trying to keep you from sex—He’s trying to preserve it for the right time, for your good and His glory.”
— Matt Chandler
John 14:21 “21 Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him.””
“But we were never meant to walk this journey alone. God surrounds us with wise counselors, spiritual mentors, and godly friends to help us stay on the right path. Don’t date in the dark—bring it into the light of community.”
Invite Community
Dating should happen in the context of wise counsel, family, and church community.
Avoid isolation; seek accountability.
22 Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.
Don’t date in the dark; bring your relationship into the light.
“The more isolated a person is, the more destructive the power of sin over them.”
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together
“You need people in your life who will tell you what you don't want to hear but need to hear.”
— Paul David Tripp
Ephesians 6:1–3 “1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.””
Hebrews 10:24–25 “24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, 25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
“Still, even with godly counsel and pure intentions, things may not move as quickly—or as perfectly—as you hoped. Maybe you're waiting, wondering, or even hurting. But here’s the truth: God's timing is never off. And waiting on Him is never wasted.”
Trust God’s Timing
Reassure those who are single or brokenhearted that God is faithful.
Encourage trust in His timing… Waiting on the Lord is never wasted.
4 Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. 5 Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act.
25 The Lord is good to those who wait for him, to the soul who seeks him.
“God’s timing is never off—it may not be ours, but it is always right.”
— Elisabeth Elliot
“Waiting on God is not wasting time. It's preparing you for what only God can see.”
— John Piper
“As we wait and walk with God, we also need discernment. Not every relationship is healthy. Some are signs to move forward, others are warnings to run. Let’s talk about what to look for—both the red flags and the green lights.”
Red Flags and Green Lights
Red Flags:
Lack of spiritual maturity / apathetic
Pressure for physical intimacy
Controlling behavior
Green Lights:
Personal walk with christ
Shared spiritual convictions
Amos 3:3 “3 “Do two walk together, unless they have agreed to meet?”
Servant heart
Humility and teachability
“So what does this all mean for you—right now? Whether you’re single, dating, a parent, or already married, God is calling you to honor Him in this season. Let’s get practical about what that looks like in your life.”
Application
Set clear boundaries early and stick to them.
Involve godly mentors or parents in your relationship.
Prioritize spiritual compatibility over physical attraction.
Don’t just look for “the right one”—become the right one.
Use dating as a way to discern, not just enjoy.
For Parents:
Encourage your children to model Christ-like love and talk openly about dating / courtship / temptation / standards
For Youth:
Address peer pressure, media influence, and identity in Christ.
For Singles:
Offer hope, patience, and value in their season of waiting.
Will you trust God with your desire for love?
For Couples:
Are you pursuing marriage or playing with fire?
Are you building your relationship on God's Word?
The ultimate relationship you were created for is not romance, but redemption. Before you ever say ‘I do’ to a person will you say ‘I do’ to Jesus?
Do you recognize your sin before a Holy God?
Do you agree that you are in need of a savior?
Do you believe that Jesus Is the Holy son of God who came to take away the sin of the world?
Do you accept Him not only as your personal savior but as the Lord of your life?
John 15:13 “13 Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”
John 3:16 “16 “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.”
Group Questions:
Group Questions:
How does putting God first in your life change the way you view dating and relationships?
What are some practical ways to keep the goal of marriage central when dating?
How can we discern godly character in someone beyond just physical attraction or chemistry?
Why is pursuing purity about more than just physical boundaries? How can emotional purity be guarded as well?
What role should family, church, and friends play in a healthy dating relationship? Have you experienced positive or negative examples?
How do you personally handle waiting for God’s timing in relationships or other areas of life?
What are some red flags you think people often overlook? What green lights are most important to you?
How can singles find contentment and purpose while waiting for the right relationship?
If you’re a parent or mentor, how can you encourage younger people to pursue God-honoring relationships?
Which part of this sermon challenged you the most? What’s one step you can take this week to grow in that area?
