Holy Habit | Solitude

Holy Habit | Solitude

Welcome/Introduction = Bucket sponge Illustration

Welcome to MCC! We have been in a very important series as a church that I believe can revolutionize your life.

We have been exploring specific Holy Habits that can grow and develop us as disciples of Jesus who know Him, live like Him, and love like Him by allowing the Holy Spirit to pour out the love of God into every fiber of our beings so that we overflow with his love to all those around us.

But, let us be honest, most of our lives (and life in general here in the US) are not conducive to growing spiritually. If you wanted to create a culture that was the antithesis of spurring one's spiritual growth, it would the culture that we live in currently.

Think about the demands on your life. You’ve got: [BUCKET TIME]

True, not all the buckets get the same amount of attention. But it’s easy to see that we are pulled in a ton of different directions and it can be very easy to run out of water!

You and I only have so much capacity and so much energy to pour out. And if we aren’t intentionally finding fresh water for our souls, we will start living life a little dry trying to squeeze out just another drop to give away. According to study after study, this is how most of us are living our lives.

We are not intentionally finding refreshment for our souls because we are too busy and too distracted with less important things. Instead of truly prioritizing our spiritual growth, most of us are exhausting ourselves by trying to keep up with our schedules and then simply scrolling our lives away when we have some down time.

Whether you believe who he claimed to be or not, it is without question that a poor, brown-skinned, Palestinian immigrant man who worked with his hands at a blue-collar job is the most consequential person in all of history because he made the most impact throughout all of history with just three years of his life. That man was named Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

How did He do it? Yes, he was and is 100% God, but apart from that little fact, I’m convinced that Jesus, who was also 100% human, established daily rhythms in his life that allowed him to live a life of impact. I also believe that those who live like Him are still making an impact to this very day.

So, what habits and rhythms did Jesus live out in his daily life? When you look at the life of Jesus you can boil everything down to two habitual rhythms: solitude and community.

Jesus poured himself out for others by being fully present when he intentionally engaged in community. The reason He was able to be fully present while in community was because he was not living his life on E, he was not living a dry life but would intentionally and regularly retreat into solitude to recharge and reconnect with His Father.

If you want to live a life of impact (for your kids, your spouse, your career, your family, your community, etc.), you MUST create intentional space so that you can refresh your soul and allow the Holy Spirit to pour out the love of God into your entire being so that you can pour out His love to those around you.

Attention:

Is the current pace and rhythm of your life conducive to the spiritual growth you want to see in your life?

Are you intentionally building your life around Jesus—or unintentionally being shaped by the distractions and demands of our culture?

You can find fresh water for your life that will never leave you dry! You can have your spiritual hunger and thirst satisfied by your Creator. You can take back your schedule and stop being a victim to it by carving out intentional times of retreat from what is distracting you and start pursuing unfiltered, uninterrupted, uncensored, and intoxicating connection and communion with the Lover of Your Soul through the Holy Habit of Solitude.

What is Solitude?

There are several definitions out there that try and capture what solitude is, so I tried to pull out key elements that need to be present in order for biblical solitude to happen and here is the working definition I came up with:

Solitude is the act of intentionally and regularly retreating to a place(s) where you limit all distracting inputs so that uninterrupted space is created for silence and stillness to happen for the purpose of connecting with God, your Creator and yourself on a deeper level.

Solitude is not just being alone, away from people. Solitude is not “me” time. Solitude is not just a time to rest and reset. Solitude is not a personal therapy session.

It is the place of encounter, where the old self dies and the new self is born. - Henry Nowen, The Way of the Heart

It is where you strip away distractions for the purpose of hearing from and connecting with God and yourself so that you can grow into the person God created to be and wants to shepherd you into.

Simply put, solitude is too important to not make a habit for your life because of three reasons:

Reason #1: Solitude is Foundational (5 minutes)

You should be practicing solitude because it is foundational to your spiritual growth and development as a disciple of Jesus … because it was foundational to the life of Jesus.

Jesus’ Example

Instead of starting His earthly ministry off with a massive launch party, Jesus Started His Ministry in Solitude (Matt. 4:1-11).

After he started his ministry, Mark’s gospel shows a day in the life of Jesus where he is healing people, teaching, and amazing crowds with his authority; basically, going viral in the First Century AD. Yet, Mark tells us that Jesus Sought Solitude to Fuel His Ministry, More Than Popularity (Mark 1:35).

READ Mark 1:35 - And rising very early in the morning, while it was still dark, he departed and went out to a desolate place, and there he prayed.

Instead of allowing the demands of His busy, celebrity schedule to dictate how He lived His life, Jesus intentionally made space for silence, stillness, and solitude to happen so that He could connect with God and himself on a deeper level.

Jesus Leaned into Solitude When He Needed Wisdom (Luke 6:12-13)

READ Luke 6:12-13 - One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles:

When he received the news of his cousin, John the Baptist’s death by beheading, Jesus Used Solitude to Find Healing for Himself (Matthew 14:13).

Jesus Retreated to Solitude After Working Miracles to Restore Himself (Matthew 14:23; Luke 5:16)

Jesus Instructed and Invited His Followers to Find Rest for Themselves (Mark 6:31).

READ Mark 6:31 - “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.”

Is Jesus inviting you to come with Him and get some rest?

You don’t have to be a slave to your schedule. You can find freedom, rest, and refreshment from the Lover of your soul.

But you have to create the space for that to happen by going carving out a place for silence, stillness, and solitude to happen by eliminating all distracting inputs that keep you from listening too and learning from God.

A Dutch Catholic priest, professor, and theologian, who I quoted earlier, Henri Nouwen once said, bluntly but accurately, “Without solitude it is virtually impossible to live a spiritual life. … We do not take the spiritual life seriously if we do not set aside some time to be with God and listen to Him.” – Henri Nouwen

Transition: Solitude is foundational for our spiritual growth and health but it is also formational.

Point #2: Solitude is Formational (5 minutes)

Solitude isn’t just a break from the noise, rather it is a battleground where transformation takes root. Jesus didn’t retreat into solitude to escape the world; He went to be formed by the Father, and it was out of that place of intimate connection that He lived, taught, and served with purpose and power.

As John Mark Comer puts it, “Silence and solitude is the soil where the fruits of the Spirit grow.” Richard Foster reminds us that solitude creates the space where God can “do deep surgery on our souls.”

As always, Jesus offers us the perfect example of what this deep surgery looks like in solitude. Before Jesus was crucified, he took his followers to a place that he regularly retreated to for solitude the Garden of Gethsemane. Jesus was coming to the end of his life, he was about to be betrayed by one of his closest friends and followers, Judas, and instead of hiding or running away from the moment, Jesus engages in his normal rhythm of solitude to find strength, resolve, and to force his will to align with the will of the Father and to be formed by the will of His Father.

READ Mark 14:32-35 NIV

“Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”

In this moment of solitude, Jesus was wrestling with His will and forcing it to accept the will of His Father. Jesus did not want to be crucified. He wanted to follow the will of His Father and be formed by it more than anything.

Do you want the same? Do you want to hear from God, follow God, and be formed by God more than anything?

Then you need to make space so that you can hear His voice.

Illustration: East Fork State Park Hike / Solitude time

Leading up to this message, I have been feeling the need to create that type of space for myself. Ever since we had our son, Owen, life has been super full, crazy busy, exciting, fulfilling, but also draining. We had our son, finished working on our house and then sold that house, and then moved. We basically squeezed three of the most stressful things into an 8-month period.

To say the least, I was feeling a little dry and simply wanting to feel God’s uninterrupted presence in my life. So, I carved out some time to get a hike in and connect with my Creator in His Creation.

Once I got to East Fork State Park, I parked the car, throw on my pack, and head out onto the 5-mile looping Backpackers Trail. As I am hiking through the woods, I hit this section of the trail, and a thought comes into my head that I did not initiated.

My focus was on what my next step was going to be and all the things stressing me out, but as I’m focusing on that, I get this thought that I need to look up and take in everything around me.

So, I stop and change my view from this:

[Picture of dirt / Next Step]

So that I can focus on this:

[Picture of full path] (keep picture up)

While I’m looking at this and the full path in front of me, I believe the Lord spoke to me about how I am spending too much time and too much attention on what my next step in life should be, what my next task is that I need to accomplish, and what the next hurdle is in front of me that is keeping me from rest and not paying attention to the broader picture of the path that He has me on and is leading me down.

Because I changed my focus, I noticed this little offshoot path that went downhill and led to this:

[Pictures of Lake]

This is where I had a coffee, lunch, and simply took in the beauty of God’s Creation but also the beauty of the One who created it.

Application: Are you like me and focusing too much on what it is next for your life that you are missing the bigger picture that God wants to show you for your life?

Solitude gives you permission to strip away everything that is distracting you, stressing you out, and deafening you to the voice of your maker. God wants to form you but you need to give him intentional space that you create so that you can be still, silence, and alone in order to connect with Him and your inner self deeply.

This week, make a plan to carve out space for Jesus to bring spiritual formation into your life as you sit and listen and learn from your Creator. Actually, this is so important that we start establishing this Holy Habit in our lives, let’s do it right now.

SOLITUDE TIME HERE ? - 2/3 Minutes

And we are going to do just that, right now.

INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE STARTING MUSIC

Okay, so here are some instructions:

We are going to dim the lights One Scripture verse and one reflection prompt on the screens

No pressure to produce anything in this moment. Just breathe deeply. Reflect. Journal if you’d like and pray silently. There’s nothing to perform. Nothing to fix. Just be with God.

Silence your phone

Close your eyes

Speaking of distractions, your mind will wander. That is okay. Simply and gently just put that thought aside and remind yourself that you want to connect with God more than that good thing you just thought about.

Once our time is up, I’ll do a quick prayer and we’ll talk about some practical steps to build this into our lives.

It is my prayer that at the end of our time together, you will see this moment as a gift that gives your permission to not produce, but gives you freedom to find rest, and create space for the Spirit to pour the love of your Father into every area of your life.

CLOSING MOMENT (AFTER 2–3 MINUTES)

PRAY – Thank Jesus for this moment and His example

Transition: We have seen that solitude is foundational for our faith and spiritual growth and development and that it is formational for our lives in both deepening our relationship with God but also enabling us to be fully present when we are with others. Lastly, we need to realize that solitude is worth fighting for because our spiritual growth and development and sanity are worth fighting for.

Point #3: Solitude is Worth Fighting For (5 minutes)

“Solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusions of the false self.” – Henri Nowen, The Way of The Heart

Are your daily habits conducive to your spiritual growth?

We are obsessed with physical health and longevity. But do you realize that you are, first and foremost, a spiritual being with skin on? Your spiritual health and growth should be your number one priority.

Are you allowing Jesus to continually transform you as you conform to His image and way of life?

Cal Newport, in his book Digital Minimalism says that this “furnace of transformation” is disappearing from our society. He says that “It is now possible to completely banish solitude from your life.” - Cal Newport, Digital Minimalism

This is for good reason: we don’t like being in solitude, we don’t like sitting with our thoughts, and we certainly don’t want to restrict how we interact with our phones. Multiple studies show that we have developed unhealthy habits with our smartphones that boarders on dependency. This is creating devastating effects in our society and for us spiritually:

It’s making us addicted to our devices, isolated from deep community and keeping us at surface level relationships only, and increasing our anxiety, depression, poor self esteem, and ruining our sleep habits.

Teens who spend 3 or more hours per day on social are twice as likely to report depression.

This digital noise is creating the perfect environment to keep you distracted from hearing the small, still voice of your Creator.

Our world and way of life is not conducive to your spiral growth and even mental health. We need to adopt the rhythms that were foundational and formations for Jesus’ life. Because the benefits that come with solitude out way the discipline it takes to make this part of your life:

Teach us to rely on God for our identity and not others

Empower us to be present with God and others

Gives the Holy Spirit space to correct and develop us into better followers of Jesus

Reduces stress, improves sleep, and even increases cardiovascular and brain health

This is why, Bethany Allen said on a recent podcast that,

“If I am able to bring my whole self to God, He is, in this space of solitude, able to lead me to places I could never go … which then affords me the liberty in my relationships with other people to then go to places I would never go or be able to go.” - Bethany Allen

God wants to take you to places you have never gone in your relationship with Him. God wants to take you to places relationally with others that you nor they have ever been, but you must give him the space to make that a reality in your life!

So, how can you start doing this?

Silence the Scroll. Your phone is not evil or the enemy, but it is loud, constant, and distracting. Whether you realize it or not, your phone is controlling you and training you to avoid quiet. So, lets flip the script by having a plan in place for our devices:

Parent Your Phone – Just like you put your kids to bed, put your phone to bed too. Get an old-school alarm clock and put that by your bed because your phones “bed” should be out of arms length. Put it on “Do Not Disturb” or set up a custom Focus so that only people you want to get a hold of you can.

Practice a Digital Sabbath. Once a week, try and go screen free for a day. Let you soul breathe and have a digital detox.

Start Your Day with God and Not the Grid – Don’t let your first input be email, texts, or your newsfeed. Spend your first 15 minutes in silence with Jesus.

Limit Media, especially social media. John Mark Comer says, “I think of it like breathing toxic fumes—sometimes necessary to live in the modern world but no good for you, and too much will kill you.”

Sanctify the Schedule – Solitude doesn’t have to happen out in the forest or desert. It doesn’t have to look like a full day or week of retreat. It can look like taking a few minutes, hear and there, to simply invite Jesus into the space you are intentionally creating to connect with Him without any other inputs.

Triggering Spiritual Habits in Your Schedule. You can use natural breaks as spiritual cues that trigger you to connect with Jesus. Your alarm goes off (a very triggering event!), say “Jesus, I’m here.” Coffee maker finishes brewing and beeps, use that trigger as an invitation to pray. Calendar reminder pings that you have a meeting in 15-minutes, use that time to sit in silence and solitude and allow God to center you and speak to you before you get busy with what’s next.

Commune with God during Your Commute – One way to realistically practice solitude is in your car while you are driving to or from work, especially if you are alone. Turn your car in to a sacred space where you can connect with the Lord, learning to listen to Him, and openly sharing what is going on inside of you.

Reclaim the Room - Your home doesn’t have to be loud chaos. Create a sanctuary inside the storm—a quiet corner where solitude becomes normal for you, and a legacy for your kids.

Designate a Sacred Space — Pick a chair, a corner, or a room that becomes your solitude spot. Go there regularly to pray, read, or just sit in God’s presence.

Model What Matters — Your kids will do what they see. Let them see you practicing stillness, valuing time with Jesus over scrolling or stressing.

Use Transitions Intentionally — The moments between activities (after dinner, post-bedtime routine, before TV) can become micro-moments of silence with God.

Call to Action (look for mini-moments in your scheduling)

Get creative with how you can create space to connect with God and make this a Holy Habit that fits your life. If you truly want to spend time with God, then you will make it happen.

MCC APP

MCC PICNIC - make this a talking piece with others, how can you start making solitude a normal rhythm in your schedule? What’s your plan?

My challenge to you: carve out space like this in your week. Make it a rhythm so that you can be more like Jesus.

PRAY & DISMISS