Christian Love - 1 John 3

Introduction: What Kind of Love Lives in You?

Last week, we explored 1 John 3:1–10 and what it means to be a child of God. Those born of God live in a way that reflects their new life in Christ—they no longer persist in sin. To know we are God’s children now is to live like it matters now.

This week is part two. If we grasp our identity as God’s children, we must live into it—by loving our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Most people agree that love is important. It’s in our songs, slogans, hashtags. But what kind of love are we talking about? Is it just being nice, avoiding conflict, or feeling warm fuzzies?

Today, “love” often gets redefined. We’re told—even in churches—that love means celebrating everything and never correcting or challenging anyone… and if you do, you hate them… But Scripture says otherwise. Love doesn’t rejoice in wrongdoing—it rejoices in the truth.

In today’s passage, John cuts through the cultural fog. He asks us: Is the love of Christ living in you? Or is the spirit of Cain lurking at the door of your heart?

[for third service, jump down to after the OT reading]

Before we read 1 John, let’s first hear the story John references—the brothers Cain and Abel from Genesis 4. With this fresh in mind, we’ll better understand why John draws from it.

(the whole story is verses 1-16, but for now, i’ll read for us verses 2-9)

Hear Now the Word of the Lord:

Old Testament Scripture: Genesis 4:2-9

Genesis 4:2–9 NRSV

2 … Now Abel was a keeper of sheep, and Cain a tiller of the ground. 3 In the course of time Cain brought to the Lord an offering of the fruit of the ground, 4 and Abel for his part brought of the firstlings of his flock, their fat portions. And the Lord had regard for Abel and his offering, 5 but for Cain and his offering he had no regard. So Cain was very angry, and his countenance fell. 6 The Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? 7 If you do well, will you not be accepted? And if you do not do well, sin is lurking at the door; its desire is for you, but you must master it.” 8 Cain said to his brother Abel, “Let us go out to the field.” And when they were in the field, Cain rose up against his brother Abel, and killed him. 9 Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?” He said, “I do not know; am I my brother’s keeper?”

This is the Word of the Lord. Thanks be to God…

[start here for third service]

Well… this story, [the story of Cain and Abel, as Graham read for us today,] is a sobering reminder of what happens when pride and resentment take over love… jealousy turns to hatred, and hatred to murder…

This ancient pattern is what John warns us about. But he also invites us to something better: a love that reflects the heart of Jesus.

As we turn to 1 John, hold this big idea in your heart:

BI: We show that we truly believe in Jesus when we obey His command to love one another with the same sacrificial love He showed us.

Our New Testament passage for today comes from 1 John 3:11-24… Hear now the Word of the Lord.

New Testament Scripture: 1 John 3:11–24

1 John 3:11–24 NRSV

11 For this is the message you have heard from the beginning, that we should love one another. 12 We must not be like Cain who was from the evil one and murdered his brother. And why did he murder him? Because his own deeds were evil and his brother’s righteous. 13 Do not be astonished, brothers and sisters, that the world hates you. 14 We know that we have passed from death to life because we love one another. Whoever does not love abides in death. 15 All who hate a brother or sister are murderers, and you know that murderers do not have eternal life abiding in them. 16 We know love by this, that he laid down his life for us—and we ought to lay down our lives for one another. 17 How does God’s love abide in anyone who has the world’s goods and sees a brother or sister in need and yet refuses help? 18 Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action. 19 And by this we will know that we are from the truth and will reassure our hearts before him 20 whenever our hearts condemn us; for God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything. 21 Beloved, if our hearts do not condemn us, we have boldness before God; 22 and we receive from him whatever we ask, because we obey his commandments and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his commandment, that we should believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24 All who obey his commandments abide in him, and he abides in them. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit that he has given us.

This is the Word of the Lord, thanks be to God.

1. Choose Love, Reject Hate (vv. 3:11-15)

Those who are born again in Jesus are no longer defined by sin but by His righteousness and love. Now, John takes that identity a step further: If we are God’s children, we must live like it—especially in how we love one another.

He begins with a reminder:

“For this is the message you have heard from the beginning: We should love one another…

This is the same Gospel message the apostles received from Jesus Himself: “Love one another, as I have loved you” (John 13:34). But before telling us what love is, John tells us what it is not—by pointing to Cain.

A. Cain shows us what happens when love is absent (v.12-13)

Cain and Abel were brothers. Both brought offerings to God, but only Abel’s was accepted. Why?

Hebrews 11:4 NLT

4 It was by faith that Abel brought a more acceptable offering to God than Cain did. Abel’s offering gave evidence that he was a righteous man, and God showed his approval of his gifts…

Abel honored God with his best. Cain did not.

And when Cain saw his brother’s righteousness, he grew angry and resentful. Instead of repenting, he lashed out and murdered his brother.

John uses a strong word for murder here—literally “to butcher, to slaughter.” This wasn’t just conflict—it was hate-fueled rejection of righteousness. And John says clearly: Cain was “of the evil one.” In that moment, he became a child of the devil, Satan, who, as Jesus says in John 8:44, “was a murderer from the beginning.”

So John says, “Don’t be surprised if the world hates you.” The light of righteousness exposes darkness—and darkness resists the light.

But Cain’s story isn’t just about the world’s hatred; (his story is about a brother against a brother). This is a warning to the church. The spirit of Cain can show up among us—in resentment, bitterness, silent comparisons, hostility behind polite silence.

Cain is the anti-example of love. His story shows us what happens when love is absent, and pride and envy go unchecked. It’s possible to offer worship outwardly while harboring hatred inwardly. And John says—that kind of worship isn’t from God. It’s from the evil one.

B. Hatred is spiritual death, love is life (vv. 14–15)

John continues:

“We know we have passed from death to life because we love our brothers and sisters. Whoever does not love abides in death.” (v.14)

Jesus said something similar in Matthew 5:21–22. Anger and murder come from the same root—a heart ruled by self, not surrendered to Christ.

Now, John isn’t saying if you struggle with anger, you’re unsaved. He’s not talking about righteous anger. He’s saying ongoing hatred cannot coexist with Christ’s presence.

You can’t claim new life while hating others. That’s like saying you’re breathing while holding your breath.

Ungodliness means anything in us that fails to glorify God and to worship Him and to make Him supreme in our own lives, and in the lives of others. The Righteous Judgement of God, 18

David Martyn Lloyd-Jones (Welsh Preacher and Writer)

Application:

Friends, this is a hard word—but a necessary one.

If we’re holding on to anger, bitterness, or jealousy—especially toward a fellow believer—we are walking in spiritual death, not life. We might be attending church, reading Scripture, singing songs—but our hearts are not abiding in Jesus.

So ask yourself:

Is there someone in your life—especially in the church—you’ve written off or kept at arm’s length?

Is there someone whose success stirs resentment in you?

Don’t let the spirit of Cain take root. Don’t offer worship while harboring hate.

If we do, our love looks more like Cain than Christ.

Transition: So, if we reject the way of Cain—envy, pride, hatred—what are we called to instead? John says: Look to Jesus. His love doesn’t take life—it lays it down.

2. Embody Love, Like Christ

Jesus Christ is the ultimate example of love.

If the story of Cain shows us what love is not, the cross shows us what love truly is.

“This is how we have come to know love: He laid down his life for us. We should also lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.” (v.16)

This is not abstract. Not sentimental. Not just talk. This is sacrificial love—love that bleeds, that gives, that costs something.

A. Jesus laid down His life—so should we (v.16)

We don’t define love by how we feel—we define it by what Christ did.

That’s the standard. That’s the shape of love… The cross isn’t just the source of our salvation—it’s the pattern for how we love others.

Love, in the Christian sense, means sacrifice. It means inconvenience. It means choosing someone else’s good over your own comfort, reputation, or preference.

John doesn’t say, “Feel warmly about one another.” He says, “Lay down your lives.”

And for most of us, that won’t mean literally dying. But it will mean laying down your pride. Your time. Your preferences. Your self.

Yes—this love is costly.

B. Loving means action, not just words (vv.17–18)

Now, John anticipates the danger of hearing all this; he knows we’ll be tempted to just nod in agreement and maybe say an “amen” in the heart, but do nothing. So he presses further:

1 John 3:17 NIV

17 If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person?

It’s a rhetorical question—with a blunt answer: it isn’t.

If we see a need and refuse to act, John says God’s love is not truly in us.

James says the same thing:

James 2:14–16 CSB

14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but does not have works? Can such faith save him? 15 If a brother or sister is without clothes and lacks daily food 16 and one of you says to them, “Go in peace, stay warm, and be well fed,” but you don’t give them what the body needs, what good is it?

John’s point is that this is a heart issue. The Greek word for “refuse help” literally means “closes his heart.” It’s not passive neglect—it’s an intentional shutting down of mercy.

1 John 3:18 NRSV

18 Little children, let us love, not in word or speech, but in truth and action.

Hear me: John’s not saying words don’t matter. He’s saying they’re not enough.

Application:

There may be someone in your life right now who needs more than your words.

They need your time. Your patience.

Maybe a meal, a check-in—or even your forgiveness.

It’s not enough to say, “I love my church,” if we’re not loving the people in it.

Let me ask:

Have you laid anything down for someone else lately?

Have you sacrificed for the good of a brother or sister in Christ?

If the answer is no, then according to John, we’re not loving like Christ.

Christ gave. Christ laid down his very life.

And John says: so should we.

Transition: But when we try to love like this, we may come face to face with our failures.

What if we fall short? What if our hearts condemn us?

John has an answer. That leads us to our final point.

3. Assured by Love, Confident in God

Sacrificial love sounds noble and heroic—until it costs us something. Until someone disappoints us. Until we see just how self-centered we really are.

Let’s be honest: loving like Jesus isn’t easy.

At some point, most believers will wrestle with guilt or spiritual insecurity:

“Am I really loving well? Am I even truly saved?”

John speaks directly to that struggle—not with shame, but with reassurance:

1 John 3:19–20 NIV

19 This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: 20 If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.

A. God is greater than our self-condemning hearts (vv.19–20)

Sometimes, even our own hearts accuse us:

“You failed. You didn’t love enough. You’re a hypocrite.”

And sometimes… that voice is right.

But John says: God is greater than our hearts!

He sees the full picture—our faith, our repentance, our desire to please Him.

Our assurance doesn’t come from performance.

It comes from His presence. From His grace.

Just as Paul writes in Romans 8: “Who will bring any charge against God’s elect? Christ Jesus is the one who died… who is also interceding for us.”

Think of Peter, who denied Jesus three times—yet was lovingly restored by the Jesus Christ. He could say:

“Lord, You know all things. You know that I love You.” (John 21:17)

And you can say that, too… If you’re clinging to Jesus—walking in love, however imperfectly—then you’re walking in the truth. And that truth calms and reassures your heart before God.

B. Obedience brings confidence and communion (vv.21–24)

John continues:

“If our hearts do not condemn us, we have confidence before God and receive whatever we ask from him because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him.” (vv. 21–22)

When we love in action, our hearts grow quiet. Our prayers become bold. We live in the peace of communion with God.

And what is the command we’re called to obey?

“That we believe in the name of His Son, Jesus Christ, and love one another as He commanded us.” (v. 23)

Faith and love.

Not two separate commands—but one united expression of life in Christ.

To believe in Jesus is to receive His love. To love one another is to reflect His love.

And when we walk in that love, we don’t just bless others—we abide in Him.

“The one who keeps His commandments remains in Him, and He in them. And we know that He remains in us by the Spirit He has given us.” (v.24)

The Spirit confirms it.

You belong to God. You are not alone. You are not unloved.

Christ abides in you.

Transition: So if the voice of guilt ever rises…

If your love feels too weak, too small…

Remember: You are not saved by having perfect love.

You are saved by a perfect Savior.

Let His Spirit abide in you.

Let His love flow through you.

And walk forward in peace.

Conclusion: Let the Spirit of Christ Abide in You

We’ve seen the contrast: Cain’s hatred versus Christ’s love.

Cain let sin master him, and he took life.

Christ conquered sin, and He gave His life for us.

We cannot let the spirit of Cain—anger, jealousy, pride, or resentment—take root in the church. That spirit destroys community. It suffocates love. It divides us from Christ.

But the Spirit of Christ?

He builds up. He heals. He restores. He loves.

Jesus laid down His life so that we could be united to Him—so that His Spirit would abide in us and give us eternal life.

And how do we know we belong to Him?

When we believe in Jesus.

When we love one another— sacrificially, unconditionally, joyfully.

So let me ask you before we close:

Who do you need to love in action and truth this week?

Where has bitterness quietly settled in your heart?

Is there something you need to begin releasing… so that in its place, true love and worship can grow?

May the Spirit of Jesus lead us to love—

not just in theory, not just in words, but in action.

And as we do,

may our hearts become assured and be at peace,

may our prayers grow bold,

and may we abide deeper in the everlasting love of God our Father through His Son, Jesus.

We show that we truly believe in Jesus when we obey His command to love one another with the same sacrificial love He showed us.

May it be so.

In the name of Jesus.

Amen? Amen.

Let’s close in prayer.