The Call to Holy Living

FOCUS:

Anchored in sacrificial love

Motivated by unshakeable hope

Marked by holy living

In 1 Thessalonians 4:1-8, God calls us to holiness not to burden us, but to bless us and form us - and we're meant to walk this journey together, creating space for each other as we discover that what the world calls restrictive, God calls restorative.

Introduction:

Imagine you're hiking in unfamiliar wilderness with an experienced guide. The guide tells you to stay on the marked trail, avoid certain plants, and don't drink from stagnant water. You could rebel and say, 'I want to explore freely!' But the guide isn't trying to ruin your adventure - they're trying to keep you alive and help you actually enjoy the journey.

My family has watched this show on the History channel called “Alone”. The premise is they drop of 10 wilderness survival experts in a particular wilderness somewhere in the world, spacing them out in such a way that they will never run into each other, with 10 items they select and whoever lasts the longest wins. I was a boy scout for many years and hiked in the mountains of Washington and New Mexico. There are somethings you don’t do. You don’t drink stream water that isn’t filtered or treated. That’s rule 1.

On this particular season of Alone, there was an arrogant participant who acknowledged, “You shouldn’t do it, but… I’m going to do it anyway.” I said out loud… “He’s done.” Sure enough, a week into the experience he had to be extracted do to sickness (cramps, dehydration, fever symptoms).

Paul is writing to the Thessalonians as someone who's walked this path with Jesus and knows where the pitfalls are. May our hearts and minds be open

If you have your bibles or on your devices, please turn with me to 1 Thessalonians 4 where we’ll read vss 1-8

If you are willing and able, please stand as I read God’s word… this is the word of the Lord

Pray… please be seated.

Living In Order to Please God

Verses 1-2

The first question in the Westminster Catechism is:

Q. 1. What is the chief end of man?

A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

Paul is saying here that he has instructed them how to please God. In pleasing God we find life for ourselves and others.

If I may pull from Jesus who said, John 5:19 “Jesus gave them this answer: “Very truly I tell you, the Son can do nothing by himself; he can do only what he sees his Father doing, because whatever the Father does the Son also does.”

John 8:29–32 “The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him.” Even as he spoke, many believed in him. To the Jews who had believed him, Jesus said, “If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.””

Doing what pleases God, set us free, in those things we find life. In that Jesus pleased the Father, we have life. Because He submitted Himself to the will of the Father, the Father has put all things under is authority and exalted Him (Philippians 2).

It doesn’t mean we won’t have trials and difficulty, but we have a fullness and depth of life that apart from it we take on the jaded view of the preacher in Ecclesiastes… Ecclesiastes 1:2 ““Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher. “Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.””

In obedience to God and what He has called us to do, we experience true life. Our works do not earn salvation, but the fruit of salvation is obedience and depth of life comes from that obedience.

Believing on Jesus in whom He has sent

Following His commandments

Flourishing comes from this

Paul in vss1-2 calls them to continue those things in which they have been giving themselves to. Do this more and more.

God’s Will

Verses 3-6

It is God’s will that we are being sanctified by avoiding sexual immorality.

Let’s define some of these terms:

Term sanctified: The process of becoming consecrated (set apart for) to God, which is an integral aspect of being a member of the people of God. This process of being made holy through the work of the Holy Spirit ultimately rests upon the sacrificial death of Jesus Christ, which the OT anticipates and foreshadows. Manser, M. H. (2009). Dictionary of Bible Themes: The Accessible and Comprehensive Tool for Topical Studies. Martin Manser.

It’s been helpful for me to think of sanctification as being set apart, which I often think of as just being separate. But what is helpful to remember that it is being set apart, made holy, FOR or TO God.

Term sexuality: Has to do with our sexed differences as humans, as male and as female.

“Our bodies are not just biological, they are theological.  They tell God’s story.” - Dr. Christopher West

As image bearers of God, God created us male and female; Genesis 1:27 “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.”

In our sexed bodies, male and female, we reflect the image of God. Think about it, God is revealing more of Himself to us through our sexed differences.

Paul is exhorting the church and us, that when we go outside the purpose and use for which our sexed differences were intended and made for (as we understand from our Bibles), we deny the very God in whose image we are made in (v8)… this is what it means by sexual immorality (GRK: porneia).

Because of the rebellion by man and woman, we all feel and know deeply that all sexuality is broken.

But as God does, He takes what the enemy meant for evil and turns towards good. God desires that we be sanctified (set apart, holy, made like Him) through the vehicle of our sexuality.

What is sexuality for:

Sex (pleasure in a covenant marriage between one man and one woman for life)

Procreation

An intimate level of relationship

To be known and to relate to one another through our sexuality… through all of our varied experience as humans who are either male or female.

To be given intimate understanding of the type of relationship God desires with his church; Ephesians 5:32 "This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church."

For followers of Jesus, our sexuality is part of the sanctification process.

As it relates to the church, I think in recent years we’ve made two islands of brokenness in our culture. One of a heterosexual normative and then one that encapsulates those who identify LGBTQ+ individuals. Church we are all on the same island. It really doesn’t matter how we are oriented, who we are attracted to, because it’s all about taking what God has given us in our sexed differences and stewarding them under the Lordship of Jesus.

The world (those in Thessalonica and in our culture today) uses sexuality as a way to entice and to consume. The follower of Jesus, and therefore the church, is not immune to this enticing/temptation. It feels good, it looks good, and we think consumption will satisfy us. Instead, we end up treating other people as goods to be used and discarded, while simultaneously destroying our own souls (v6).

Few of us escape the consuming nature of sexuality. We are called to steward it—to control our bodies in ways that are holy and honorable—not taking advantage of our "brothers and sisters" for our own gratification.

We see this sin pattern of seeing, taking, and consuming laid out in Genesis with man and woman at the tree of The Knowledge of Good and Evil: Genesis 3:6 "When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it."

Saw, Took, Ate: This is the pattern of sin throughout the Bible.

I'm grateful for our broader cultural conversations about sexual orientation and attraction. These discussions help those whose experiences differ from heteronormative expectations. I’m grateful for passages like this that allow us to address these things on a Sunday morning. I believe it’s important and the church as a whole has not navigated this well in recent years.

I'll break down our experiences as it relates to sexuality into four categories:

Orientation/Attraction/Desire/Action

I'll also make some caveats that you're free to agree or disagree with:

My experience is as a heterosexual person. My orientation, attraction, desire, and actions are all directed toward the opposite sex.

I have never really controlled my orientation or attraction. They have always been toward the opposite sex for as long as I've been aware of my sexuality.

What I will acknowledge to any follower of Jesus with different experiences—those who might identify as LGBTQ+—is that you also have not chosen your orientation or attraction.

Many Jesus-followers I've met who aren't attracted to the opposite sex feel ashamed of their attractions and orientation. They've never fit the norm, which brings feelings of exclusion, alienation, discrimination, and abandonment for something they cannot control.

Pastor James is clear when he says that temptation or desire is not sin, but it becomes sin when we give into it and act on such desires: James 1:13–15 “When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death.”

What any person can control and be responsible for are their desires and those desires that lead to actions. For followers of Jesus, the question becomes: what will we do with our desires and actions? How will we steward them and align them under Jesus's lordship?

For the follower of Jesus:

In our desires and actions, we should not lust or go beyond the biblical design for sex

Those we're attracted to are not for our consumption or self-fulfillment

Our dealings with brothers and sisters must be above reproach

The Bible tells us that marriage is between a man and a woman, in an exclusive life-long covenant.

If called to marriage, we should approach that calling with reverence—not flippantly, but through prayer and communal discernment

“Mixed-orientation marriages" (SSA individuals who are married to the opposite sex) exist, but should be approached with prayer and great care.

If not called to marriage,

we are set apart for the Lord's work 1 Corinthians 7:32–33 "I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—"

As I understand scripture, many who are SSA are called to celibacy, falling under what Jesus describes in Matthew 19:11–12 "Jesus replied, 'Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it.'" This places you in the holy calling shared by Jesus and Paul.

While Paul may not have had this specifically in mind for the Corinthian church, I believe it applies: 1 Corinthians 7:17 “Nevertheless, each person should live as a believer in whatever situation the Lord has assigned to them, just as God has called them. This is the rule I lay down in all the churches."

Our sexuality, wherever we find ourselves, is a holy and high calling. Being straight isn't the standard of holiness. Marriage isn't the pinnacle of goodness and holiness. Earthly marriage merely shadows what is to come (We will not be given in marriage when we are with the Lord… He is our groom… our single sisters and brothers in Christ are already living into that reality). Paul exhorts both us and the Thessalonians that our sexuality should be stewarded, not used to consume others for our benefit.

There is much to say about this subject. Our community includes single people, single parents, divorced individuals, widows/widowers, married people, and married people with children. One thing is clear: wherever we find ourselves, we need community. We need to do this life together. We need to make space for each other as we pursue Jesus together. We need to create space for people to work out their salvation (Philippians 2:12), meeting them where God is meeting them, allowing each other to figure out how to do this. It's messy. It's not clean or neat. It can be uncomfortable. I believe this holy discomfort is what God creates within His body. I'm here for it. And hear me, we need everyone at the table to help us work through this. There are not two islands. We are all who are seeking to follow Jesus faithfully, no matter our orientation or attraction, needed for the journey.

Can we create space for one another, recognizing and believing we are all works in progress? None of us have arrived. None of us have been completely formed. You are not the same person you were 10 years ago or even 5 years ago (I know I'm not)—and I'm not yet who God is making me into. I need a safe space to fail and work this out. I need to be there for you, and I need you to be here for me. If we're pursuing Jesus throughout this journey, I'm confident He will complete the good work He has started in us. Everyone, regardless of their orientation or attraction, is necessary.

Stewarding our sexuality to the glory of God is part of our sanctification process.

Not about restriction as much as it is about formation.

Called to Holiness

Verses 7-8

1 Thessalonians 4:7–8 “For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. Therefore, anyone who rejects this instruction does not reject a human being but God, the very God who gives you his Holy Spirit.”

This is why we don’t take our cues from culture. Culture shifts and is unstable in all of its ways. One day a trend is in, and the next day that same trend is out. It’s dizzying.

Holiness though is what we are called to.

The wisdom of this world puts us in places of despair, hopelessness, and a cycle that seems unbreakable. We repeat the patterns and systems that are designed to keep us from flourishing in our soul.

Holiness not only sets us apart from the systems of the world, but it also sets us toward serving, loving, and worshiping the living God. Jesus would say John 7:37–39 “On the last and greatest day of the festival, Jesus stood and said in a loud voice, “Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them.” By this he meant the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were later to receive. Up to that time the Spirit had not been given, since Jesus had not yet been glorified.”

One of the ways we can commit to holiness is through self-control. It is one of the fruits of the spirit (Gal 5:22-23) that our culture disdains when it comes to our sexuality.  But it’s important to point out that this needs to be a reality in singleness and yes, even in marriage.  If it is not cultivated and practiced within a marriage, it can destroy it, just like with any sexual relationship.  So much of sexual discipleship is the same whether it’s to  married people or unmarried.

Another way we commit to holiness is understanding that desire as gift, not the enemy. Rather than viewing sexual desire as something to suppress, it is God's design pointing us toward deeper truths. Our longings for intimacy, connection, and unity reflect our created need for God himself. The desire isn't the problem—it's what we do with it and where we direct it that matters.

For Singles: Holiness means viewing your sexuality as preparation for something greater—whether marriage or deeper devotion to Christ. This includes cultivating intimacy through friendships, mentorship, and community service. It's learning to channel passion into creative pursuits, acts of service, and spiritual disciplines that form you into someone capable of selfless love.

For Married Couples: Holiness means seeing sex as worship—a physical expression of covenant love that mirrors Christ's relationship with the church. This requires ongoing communication, sacrificial love, and yes, self-control even within marriage. Sometimes holiness means saying no to your own sexual desires to serve their emotional or spiritual needs first.

For All Ages: Daily practices like prayer before consuming media, choosing entertainment that honors rather than exploits sexuality, and regular confession and accountability with trusted friends.

How God Uses These Desires to Woo Us:

The Bible begins and ends with marriage. Our sexuality helps form us in these ways:

Longingly: Our bodies remind us daily that we were made for union—ultimately with God

Sacrificially: True intimacy requires dying to self, which prepares us for following Christ

Covenantally: Sexual faithfulness teaches us about God's unwavering commitment to us

Fruitfulness: The creative potential in sexuality reflects our calling to participate in God's ongoing creation

Living Into Desires in God-Honoring Ways:

God didn't create us with desires only to frustrate us. Instead, he gave us desires that can be:

Channeled: Single people can pour passionate energy into ministry, art, justice work, deep friendships, and helping create community amongst the body

Delayed: Learning to wait develops character and trust in God's timing

Transformed: What starts as physical attraction can grow into the kind of love that reflects Christ's love for the church

The key message is that holiness in sexuality isn't about restriction—it's about formation. Every choice we make with our sexual desire is either forming us into people capable of self-giving love or into people who use others for our own satisfaction. The goal is becoming the kind of people who can love like Christ loves.

So when we read the Bible, when seek to understand the Bible and what it lays out for us, God through the Holy Spirit forms us more into the image and likeness of Jesus. When we reject it, we are not rejecting me, rejecting anyone other than God.

Can I say too that this can for me, from my position, feel very manipulative. “Hey if you reject me, you reject God.” Please know, I’m not putting myself on that platform. This is why we go through the scriptures and that we can have dialogue about it. I’m not infallible. God is, Peter is not. This is why Paul encourages Timothy in 2 Timothy 2:15 “Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”

Following Jesus takes a great amount of humility and a posture of heart that requires teachability. But here’s what I know, God is faithful. God is good. God uses the brokenness of the world to reveal His goodness, kindness, love, and power in my life. He forms us through our broken pieces He is making whole.

This is the beautiful paradox of following Christ - we surrender our independence to find true freedom. When we align ourselves with God's unchanging truth rather than culture's shifting tides, we discover what our souls have been longing for all along. The very thing that might seem restrictive - submitting to God's call to holiness - is actually what liberates us from the endless cycle of chasing after things that can never satisfy.

God doesn't call us to holiness to burden us, but to bless us. He knows that when we're set apart for Him, we find our truest identity and deepest joy. The rivers of living water Jesus promises aren't just a future hope - they're available to us today through His Spirit working in us as we engage with His Word.

And here's what gives me such hope: even in our wrestling with these truths, even in our questions and struggles to understand and apply Scripture, God is patient with us. He uses our very brokenness and imperfection to draw us closer to Himself. This isn't about having it all figured out - it's about staying teachable, staying humble, and trusting that the God who called us to holiness is the same God who will faithfully complete the work He's begun in us.

The invitation remains: come and drink. Come and be transformed. Come and discover that what the world calls restrictive, God calls restorative.

Conclusion

So as we leave this place today, remember that you're not walking this path alone. The same Holy Spirit that Jesus promised - those rivers of living water - is with you right now, not waiting for you to get your act together first. Whether you're wrestling with questions about sexuality, struggling with desires that feel overwhelming, or simply trying to figure out what it means to please God in the everyday moments of your life, you have a guide who knows the terrain.

But here's what we cannot forget: we also have each other. Some of you are walking the difficult path of celibacy - whether by choice or circumstance - and you need this community to be more than Sunday acquaintances. You need deep friendships, holiday invitations, and people who recognize that your calling isn't lesser but requires a different kind of support. Those of us who are married or have families around us have a responsibility to create space at our tables, in our lives, and in our hearts for those whose journey looks different from ours. We're called to be family to one another, not just fellow church members.

The trail isn't always easy, and sometimes we'll make the mistake of drinking from stagnant water despite knowing better. But unlike that contestant on "Alone," we don't get extracted when we fail. We get rescued, restored, and re-equipped for the journey - and we do it together. God's call to holiness isn't a burden to bear in isolation but a life to embrace in community - not just rules to follow but relationship to enjoy, both with Him and with each other.

The invitation is still open: come to Jesus and drink. Come as you are, with all your questions, struggles, and imperfections. Come and discover that the God who calls you to holiness is the same God who provides everything you need to walk in it - including this messy, beautiful, necessary community. And as you do, may you find what your soul has been searching for all along - not just freedom from something, but freedom to something beautiful, something eternal, something that can only be found in Him and lived out among us.

Let's pray.