The Weight of Our Words

The Weight of Our Words: Consequences of Unwise Promises

Can you recall a time when you promised to do something but regretted it when it was time to keep your word?

When you tell your kids we will do it tomorrow and they come ready to cash in on your Words…

Bible Passage: Judges 21:1-25

Judges 21:1 ESV

Now the men of Israel had sworn at Mizpah, “No one of us shall give his daughter in marriage to Benjamin.”

Judges 21:5 ESV

And the people of Israel said, “Which of all the tribes of Israel did not come up in the assembly to the Lord?” For they had taken a great oath concerning him who did not come up to the Lord to Mizpah, saying, “He shall surely be put to death.”

These two scriptures will be part of the driving force for the actions of the nation of Israel. With that said there is one verse I want to encourage us to keep in mind as we go through this discussion: Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in thy sight. O’Lord my strength and my redeemer” Psalm 19:14

Main Reflection Point: The words we speak produce consequences

Summary:

Judges 21:1-25 narrates a troubling account where the Israelites grappled with the fallout from their careless vows after a civil conflict, leading them to make morally questionable decisions in order to uphold their promises. The passage illustrates human frailty in the face of self-imposed oaths, raising important questions about societal obligations and the ethical dimensions of our commitments, especially during times of crisis.

Big Idea:

The big idea of this discussion is to recognize that our words have power and implications; therefore, we should approach our vows with caution and a heart directed towards God, embodying integrity and truth in all our commitments.

Digging In & Pulling Out:

1. Emotional Driven Promises Prompt Chaos [Judges 21:1-7]

Ecclesiastes 9:17 “The words of the wise heard in quiet are better than the shouting of a ruler among fools.”

Proverbs 29:8 “Scoffers set a city aflame, but the wise turn away wrath.”

The war is over and Benjamin has been defeated! But there is no sound of music and no dancing. There is no voices raised high in songs of victory. Instead their victory has been saddened; Israels zeal to punish Benjamin has claimed the lives of the whole tribe except 600 men hiding out in a cave. What has Israel done!

Question: have you ever reacted out of emotion and then looked back and regretted your actions?

But, this revelation comes due to the consequences of the war collecting on the compounding interest of a vow they made in haste! “No one of us shall give his daughter in marriage to Benjamin.” [verse 1]

Question: What do you think Israel’s intentions were for making such a vow?

Per the IVP: This may have also been a security measure should there be future conflicts with the Benjaminites.

Per the NBC: the oath(s) were intended to stop the evil committed by the Benjamites from contaminating the whole nation and to ensure full participation by the other tribes in the punitive action that was required

Question: How is Israel treating the tribe of Benjamin based on this vow?

But Judges 21:6 lets us know that Israel had compassion for Benjamin their brother. But this compassion came only after they realized the drastic consequences of their actions in connection with their vow.

Question: How can having compassion affect the outcome of a situation?

To be specific; compassion at the front end of the concern has a greater chance of minimizing the degree of an outcome.

Ephesians 4:32 “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.” Genesis 43:30 “Then Joseph hurried out, for his compassion grew warm for his brother, and he sought a place to weep. And he entered his chamber and wept there.”

Question: What are the characteristic of true compassion?

Psalm 145:8-9 “The Lord is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. The Lord is good to all, and his mercy is over all that he has made.

Question: Where does the Lords Compassion for Israel come from? The promise he made to their forefathers (2 Kings 13:23]….. self reflection point: are the words we speak markers to check our anger, emotion, and rage and also to remind us to be compassion. Chances are they don’t. So then Does the word of God become the marker by which we show compassion?

Israel didn’t think the war would come to this; one of their tribes facing extinction. No one ever thinks the worse that could happen till after they are done doing the worse! Peter made a vow unto Jesus that he wouldn’t leave him nor forsake him; “Though they all fall away because of you, I will never fall away.” A very bold statement indeed but made not understanding the mission of Jesus! And we, just like Peter, make bold statements not fully understanding what’s truly going on. And as we all know it happened while warming his hands by the fire; the courage Peter had in the garden with a knife turned to a cowards voice denying his savior; I do not know the man!

Reflection Point: It behooves us to slow down and reflect on the verse: “Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing and acceptable in your sight.”- Ps 19:14. Are we saying something to impress not knowing the contractual importance of the words we speak? [take a moment and reflect on this]

Teacher Notes: Vows were to be taken extremely serious by Israel. There is a saying “your word is your bond”. The Lord created the world with his word and fulfilled promises based on his word. What the Lord speaks goes forth and it does not come back void. The Lord’s word is his bond and it is not broken. If we, out of all the animals of the earth, are the ones created in his image and after his likeness then what makes us think the words we speak shouldn't’ have the same standard. Is what we are about to say pleasing and acceptable in the sight of the Lord.

2. Emotional Driven Promises Prompt More Pain [Judges 21:8-25]

We all have responded to things out of emotion; anger, passion, excitement, and the list goes on. And in moving off of strict emotion we will say or do something that we will look back on and realized that we have made things worse than we could imagine.

But just because we’ve made things worse doesn’t mean that its the end of the story. It’s what we do next in these moments of realizing our folly that mend the broken relationships and course correct the situations.

But…… Israel….. does what Israel….. does best…… and we….do exactly…. what we typically do…..

A Sacrificed Town

Judges 21:10 ESV

So the congregation sent 12,000 of their bravest men there and commanded them, “Go and strike the inhabitants of Jabesh-gilead with the edge of the sword; also the women and the little ones.

How can Israel provide wives for Benjamin when they have sworn to not give their daughters in marriage? A solution comes to mind! Israel had taken another oath that any “who did not come up to the Lord to Mizpah… he will surely be put to death”. And it just so happens that the people of Jabesh-gilead didn’t come to the assembly.

Solution? Kill the men, woman, and children but spare the woman who were virgins! The preservation of Benjamin came at the cost of death of families! But they still were short 200!!!

Question: In light of why Israel went to war with Benjamin, what is the issue with what Israel is planning and doing?

Question: How can manipulating our words cause issues in our families, at the job, and even in our local congregations?

Peter followed closely but still denied Jesus, the other disciples abandoned him, and then there is Judas who betrayed Jesus. He made a deal with the Jewish leaders that brought him guilt and shame. That choice to betray the Savior brings guilt but not godly sorrow which works repentance and he hangs himself! Israel in the time of the Judges was dealing with guilt but was it godly sorrow? Judas guilt lead him to commit suicide. Israels guilt lead them to make one bloody decision after another.

Question: Looking over the actions above; what can we conclude about sin mingled with words spoken in anger and haste?

Reflection Point: Desperation to fix a problem brings only greater issues. Israel weeped before the Lord but didn’t inquire of the Lord what to do! Before we plot we need to plop down into prayer seeking the Lord for his guidance. Read James 1:19-20 and reflect on how your quick responses have affected your life and others around you.

Kidnapping as the final Solution

Judges 21:20–21 ESV

And they commanded the people of Benjamin, saying, “Go and lie in ambush in the vineyards and watch. If the daughters of Shiloh come out to dance in the dances, then come out of the vineyards and snatch each man his wife from the daughters of Shiloh, and go to the land of Benjamin.

Israel extends a peace offering to Benjamin through the 400 virgins acquired by the blood dripping from their swords; but the elders of the congregation raise the question “What shall we do for wives for those who are left, since the woman are destroyed out of Benjamin?” And once again Israel considers their words and they find a loophole. They said that they couldn’t give Benjamin wives, but they never said that Benjamin couldn’t take wives from among them. And once again another group of people within Israel becomes affected by the words spoken in haste due to unchecked anger.

Question: While this might be a genius loophole how does this make morality ambiguous?

Question: Why would we attempt to find loopholes within the word of God today and what is the danger in this?

Judas sought to return the silver he was paid to the chief priest but they refused saying “What is that to us? See to it yourself.” Like Israel, Judas after realizing the consequences of his deal had a change of mind. But Judas bound to his oath and paid his wage for fulfilling his part is denied repentance [Lev 5:4-5]. Israel sought a loophole by how they worded their oath, Judas perhaps thought that the loophole of hanging himself would keep him from what ever punishment would come from the Lord while alive.

Reflection Point: Never think that your sin is so great that life outside of God’s chastisement is better than facing the confession. Yes the Lord disciplines his children but because he loves us as his child it comes with grace and mercy. Think of all you have done and reflect on what could have been the outcome versus what has been.

Application: How this passage could point to Christ:

This passage encourages Christians to evaluate the weight of their words and how they impact themselves and others. It serves as a reminder to approach commitments with caution and to seek God’s wisdom in our promises, especially when pressured by circumstances. Engaging in self-reflection along with seeking guidance and wisdom from God helps believers to align their actions with their faith, fostering integrity and compassion in our promises to others.