Exodus 20:12-14 - The Ten Words: Loving One Another (Part I)
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The Word Read
The Word Read
Please remain standing for the reading of the Holy Scripture. Hear the Word of the Lord from:
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 13 “You shall not murder. 14 “You shall not commit adultery.
Behold, brothers and sisters, this is the Word of the Lord. Please be seated.
Exordium
Exordium
Beloved in Christ,
I invite you to open Holy Scripture to Exodus 20:12-14 this morning.
The first Four Commandments are the vertical words, meaning how one has a relationship with God. Commandments five through 10 are horizontal words, meaning how one has relationships with others in the covenant community.
The challenge for us can be to look at these commandments and think, “Phew, I haven’t murdered anyone, or I haven’t committed adultery, so I’m not doing too bad in my life!” However, we entirely miss the point that the Ten Words have much to teach us about our hearts and the desires of our hearts.
The heart is always what Yahweh has desired. In Hosea 6:6, the Lord states:
For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice, the knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.
Without a covenant love and a knowledge of the Lord, the people’s sacrifices were pointless. Furthermore, the Lord has rebuked the people because they refused to follow or worship a holy God. They wanted a manmade god who never confronted them in their sin. In essence, they worshipped a manmade idol, not the Creator of the universe who desired to save them. The Lord God has always desired that the hearts of His people love, follow, and worship Him alone.
If we merely view the Ten Commandments as a checklist to follow, we’ve missed the point of the Law. They are not simply tasks that need to be completed, so we are good with God. As John Calvin succinctly writes in his second book, The Institutes of the Christian Religion, there are three uses of the Law. First, the Law reveals the righteousness of God and exposes our unrighteousness like a mirror; it then brings conviction, and ultimately, it condemns us. This might seem like dark, bad news, but Calvin does not leave you there. He continues to pick up the thread of the Law in Scripture. He writes that this guilt is then meant to drive us to Jesus Christ. How many of us have thought, “Why are all these laws given in Exodus, Leviticus, and Deuteronomy?” It is meant to show you the righteousness of God, your unrighteousness, and to drive you to Christ. That is the first use of the Law.
The second use of the Law is to restrain evil in the world by the use of fear and punishment. It acts as a fence limiting sin through a threat of justice. As a sophomore, I took a class on macroeconomics. That may seem boring, but the class became lively when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans. Our professor began to explain to the class how this natural disaster would have significant economic ramifications for the country. Furthermore, the class became a hotbed of ethical conversations. Why? Like you all, we watched the videos of people stealing televisions, cell phones, gaming systems, and jewelry from department stores. The immediate needs in New Orleans were to locate those who were lost or stranded and to ensure the safety of all due to the hurricane. So, the threat of justice, that fence, fell. There was no visible threat of justice, and total depravity was on full display for all to see. The second use of the Law is to curb or restrain evil in the world.
The third use of the Law is to reveal to believers how to live in a way that is pleasing to the Lord. By grace, the Lord has revealed to us how we should live so that we might please Him. Amazingly, the Lord does not leave us in darkness to figure out how to live so that we might commune with Him. This morning, we peer into the Moral Law, which acts as a light in the third use, and how we can please God by living with one another with Christian love.
My thesis for these verses is that it is essential for Christians to love one another from the heart by walking according to God’s law.
Exodus 20:12 - Honor Your Father and Mother
Exodus 20:12 - Honor Your Father and Mother
12 “Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
I’m sure we have all had the experience of watching a child or teenager disobey this commandment. Instantly, something rises in us, and we become furious as we watch the child dishonor a parent. However, this commandment is not just for children who are living under their parents’ roof. This is a lifelong commandment. If you are 50, 60, or 70 years old, with a parent still living, you are also to honor your father and mother. There is no expiration date on this commandment.
As we look at the text, and some of you may already know this, this is the only commandment that is explicitly in the imperative. Furthermore, this is the only commandment that has a promise attached. “Honor your father and your mother,” that is the command, and here is the promise, “that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.” Cursing their father or mother would lead to the death penalty (Exodus 21:17, Leviticus 20:9). This is no trivial commandment.
Now, certainly, we can discuss how to honor our fathers and mothers. Boys and girls, you can honor your parents by listening to them, picking up your room when they ask, and doing so without argument. You can attend to your homework and chores. I can honor my parents by helping them carry some of their belongings out of our house when they visit, rather than making them carry out the things they need for their move. Or, I can show up on time when we exchange the children. We’ve already informed both sets of parents that if they reach the point where they can no longer live independently, they are welcome to come live with us. There are many behavioral realities that we can do to honor our parents.
However, the truth is that a heart that honors its father and mother will lead to outward behavior that honors them. Honoring parents is genuinely an issue of the heart. The word for “honor” here can also mean to show someone esteem, respect, or glory. This is not the same type of glory we ascribe to the Lord, but it shows the seriousness of caring for and honoring our parents.
A question you might ask is, “Why is this commandment given? Why is it so important?” I think there are numerous answers to be given. However, I will focus on only two. First, parents are usually the first visible representation of authority in one’s life. A child must learn to honor and esteem their parents, for it does represent how they will respond to authority in their life. So a parent must know how to disciple their children so that the children respect both father and mother.
Secondly, the home is the seat of society. The foundation of one’s culture is related to the heart of the home. Training children to honor father and mother is imperative to the well-being of the home, their local church, their community, and the next generation. There was a time when catechizing children in the Westminster Shorter Catechism or the Baptist Catechism was commonplace. It was a widely held belief that the home was a small church where children learned the ways of Christ and learned His Word. In doing so, they learned how to honor their father and mother, not in a mechanical manner, but in a spiritually enriching way that gripped their hearts. Children knew that their parents loved them because their parents were the physicians of their souls. As the heart of the home goes, so society goes. Do you believe the home is the heart of society? If so, do you disciple your children in the ways of Christ? If you do not have children in the home, do you come alongside families helping Dad and Mom parent their children in gospel love?
Finally, we, as children, are called to honor our parents, regardless of how good or bad they may be. We don’t get to dishonor our parents if they are bad parents. That’s not how this works. We must realize that honoring our parents is not just for our benefit; in honoring them, we also honor Christ. As Paul writes in Ephesians 6:1-3:
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
So, for those of us who have parents, have we honored them well this week? Have we given them the honor that Christ would desire us to give them? In doing so, we ultimately please Christ.
The Westminster divines recognized that this command also reveals that honor should be shown to those who are superiors, inferiors, and equals, not simply to Father and Mother. The call for each person is to honor all people. However, this is becoming increasingly difficult in our culture. We live in polarizing times. If we disagree with someone, it is immediately thought that we hate. This occurs both inside and outside the church.
Furthermore, the political landscape has become so polarized that it is increasingly difficult to find common ground. Instead of showing honor to superiors, inferiors, and equals, we are taught to ignore and demean them. This ought not to be the case with those who claim Christ.
Romans 12 and 13 help us in understanding this principle. Romans 12:10 states:
10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
How often do we fail to obey these words? Instead of showing honor, our flesh desires to outdo one another. We want to occupy a prominent place, which may come at the cost of dishonoring others. Furthermore, how do we fare when it comes to honoring those in governing positions? Romans 13:1-4:
1 Let every person be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and those that exist have been instituted by God. 2 Therefore whoever resists the authorities resists what God has appointed, and those who resist will incur judgment. 3 For rulers are not a terror to good conduct, but to bad. Would you have no fear of the one who is in authority? Then do what is good, and you will receive his approval, 4 for he is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain. For he is the servant of God, an avenger who carries out God’s wrath on the wrongdoer.
This commandment certainly calls us to honor our parents, and there is a general principle of honoring all.
Exodus 20:13 - You Shall Not Murder
Exodus 20:13 - You Shall Not Murder
13 “You shall not murder.
This commandment is not first seen in this passage. Let’s travel back to Genesis 9. Noah and his family leave the ark. Noah made an altar and offered burnt offerings. The Lord made a covenant with Noah. There are also instructions given regarding taking the life of another person. Genesis 9:6:
6 “Whoever sheds the blood of man, by man shall his blood be shed, for God made man in his own image.
The reason no one can murder another person is that all people are made in the image of God. To murder someone is taking divine justice into their own hands. This is a violation of the sixth commandment.
How many of us have heard people say, “Well, at least I haven’t murdered anyone.” They use this as a hyperbole when confronted with their sin. Instead of dealing appropriately with a sin that has been confronted, they attempt to show that they are not as bad as someone else believes. Yet, once again, we must get to the heart of the issue.
Jesus presses further into the human heart when addressing this commandment in Matthew 5:21-22:
21 “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder; and whoever murders will be liable to judgment.’ 22 But I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment; whoever insults his brother will be liable to the council; and whoever says, ‘You fool!’ will be liable to the hell of fire.
Furthermore, listen to Scripture in 1 John 3:15:
15 Everyone who hates his brother is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life abiding in him.
These verses are piercing to the heart. How does it make our hearts feel hearing, “everyone who hates his brother is a murderer,” or, “I say to you that everyone who is angry with his brother will be liable to judgment.” These Scriptures pass through our excuses we are likely to give and, with surgical precision, puncture our sinful hearts.
How many times have we been angry at a fellow brother or sister? How many times has that anger led us to gossip about them to others? “You won’t believe what he said, or did. I can’t believe she would do that.” Instead of running to Christ about our anger, we run to one another, stirring up strife. This is a grievous sin that always leaves a trail of devastation in its path. In these moments, we act like Cain. Cain’s heart was so gripped with anger and rage that he murdered Abel. His anger wasn’t truly against Abel, but against God. Cain belonged to the Devil (1 John 3:12).
Is there unbiblical hate or anger in your heart towards someone today? Know that, when we commit this sin, notice when, not if, we violate the sixth commandment. So, our reality is not “Well, at least I haven’t killed anyone,” but instead I am guilty because I have hated or been unjustifiably angry with a fellow brother or sister. I have committed spiritual homicide.
So what is our recourse? It is to go to the One who was hated by the world. We run to the One who was mocked, maligned, and murdered for our sin. We call out to Him seeking pardon, and seeking for our hatred and anger to be turned to love. He will give our angered hearts peace and rest. He will cause our bitterness to be turned to love. He can shut our mouths so that we do not speak division in the congregation. He, and alone, can stop us from murdering another.
As we examine this commandment, we must also consider its inverse. The inverse of “You shall not murder” is, “You shall preserve life.” As we previously discussed, the reason life should be preserved is that every person is made in the image of God. So it is incumbent upon us to protect life. This would include our own lives. Suicide is a sin as it violates this commandment. Some believe that suicide is an unforgivable sin. I don’t think this is biblical. If a person can lose their salvation because of an action they’ve taken, then salvation is an act of works. However, salvation is by grace through faith. Yes, suicide is a sin that creates a devastating path in its wake. Family members and friends are left wondering what happened. They wonder how they didn’t see the signs, but it is not the “unforgivable sin.”
Secondly, abortion is a violation of this commandment. Scripture attests to the personhood of individuals while they are in the womb. Psalm 139:13-16:
13 For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. 14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. 15 My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. 16 Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them.
Luke 1:39-42:
39 In those days Mary arose and went with haste into the hill country, to a town in Judah, 40 and she entered the house of Zechariah and greeted Elizabeth. 41 And when Elizabeth heard the greeting of Mary, the baby leaped in her womb. And Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit, 42 and she exclaimed with a loud cry, “Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the fruit of your womb!
Or Jeremiah 1:5:
5 “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.”
There is a clear recognition by God that those in the womb are made in His image. To kill a child in the womb is murder and a gross violation of this commandment. Yet, even for those who have had abortions, there is still grace and mercy for the repentant. At our previous church, there was a group started for women who had abortions. They met in a home and worked through the guilt, shame, and pain they felt. Many of these women had abortions before they professed faith. However, these women had deep wounds. Some women have abortions because it is “inconvenient” to have a child. Some are fearful of the massive lifestyle change that is required. Some, unfortunately, have abortions because men pressure them to kill the child. Yet, these women found God’s grace as they repented of their sin. They saw His kindness and mercy. They saw that one day they would be with their children in glory, together enjoying the glory and love of the Lamb.
The same can be true for you if you’ve ever had an abortion. Christ’s call is not, “You’re on your own. You’ve murdered an innocent.” His call is, “Come, child, come repent and find the healing that only your Shepherd can give you.”
Let us all be diligent to guard our hearts from spiritual homicide.
Exodus 20:14 - You Shall Not Commit Adultery
Exodus 20:14 - You Shall Not Commit Adultery
14 “You shall not commit adultery.
We’ve all heard this story before: “Did you say that they are no longer married? What happened?” Sadly, a story unfolds of how the husband or wife committed adultery. A tale of trust broken. A story of a family destroyed. The act of adultery has certainly dismantled many a family.
In the ancient world, the nations around Israel labeled adultery as “The Great Sin.” In fact, the punishment for adultery was death for the adulterer and adulteress (Leviticus 20:10). Adultery breaks the covenant that one has made with one’s spouse. Adultery is treason against their spouse and God. It is an act of rebellion.
As we’ve discussed, this is not merely limited to the action of adultery, but probes deeper into the heart. Hear Jesus’ words regarding lust in Matthew 5:27-32:
27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell. 31 “It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ 32 But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Jesus takes the intention of the Law and brings it to the hearts of all who read it. The issue of adultery is lust, which is rooted in the heart. The word used in this passage for “lustful intent” has the sense of having sexual interest/desire for someone. Jesus’ words against this desire are strong. If you have even looked at a woman with this desire, your heart has already committed adultery. What is His response, “mortify lust.” Lust is not a pet to be tamed, but a sin to be slain.
A few years ago, a group of men were discussing lust. A young man in his twenties said, “I cannot wait to get older when I won’t have to wrestle with these desires.” Then a man in his seventies spoke, “Bud, that desire never goes away.” You could feel the young man’s despair. He thought that the lustful desires he had would eventually go away as his physical body aged. However, as the elder brother alluded to, lust is a matter of the heart given over to sin.
So, the commandment you shall not commit adultery is more than the act of adultery; it covers the entire gamut of sexual immorality, which is anything outside the covenant grounds of marriage. Watching or reading explicitly sexual material, having lingering inappropriate thoughts for someone other than your spouse, or engaging in premarital sex is lustful and falls under the sin of adultery.
Adultery, both in action and in desire, goes against the good gift that God ordained in creation, where a man and a woman are to be faithful in a loving, covenantal marriage. As Genesis 2:21-24 says:
21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
Maybe you sit here today and either you have committed adultery or you are in the act of committing adultery, and by this I mean the stricter definition, you are currently engaging in sexual relations with someone who is not your spouse, and you know that this is sinful. You know that it is displeasing to the Lord. You feel the shame, guilt, and overwhelming crushing wave of sinfulness. You are aware of the Spirit’s conviction. Know also that the throne of God is a throne of grace and mercy. There is no sin He is unwilling to pardon, even adultery, if you come with a contrite heart seeking forgiveness. Yes, it is a sin. Yes, there are consequences to sin. Yes, God desires to give His repentant children grace and mercy.
For those of us who have not committed the physical act of adultery, we all know we’ve committed adultery in our hearts. We live in a culture saturated with sexual immorality. We can all attest that there is rarely a day that goes by when we do not come across some sexual image on our televisions or smart devices. The world and the enemy desire to lure our hearts towards this sin. We’ve watched or read material we should not have. We’ve allowed our eyes to linger on a person longer than we should have, causing sexually immoral thoughts and desires to arise in our hearts. Yes, it is a sin. Yes, there are consequences. And yes, praise God, the throne of God is a throne of grace and mercy.
Aren’t we thankful that Christ knows the fragility of our flesh and hearts? Praise Christ that he knows that our hearts are weak and frail. We all need to come to this throne repenting, asking the Lord to forgive us, and cooperating with the Holy Spirit as He desires to root this sin from our hearts.
Closing
Closing
These commandments, if left as mere actions, do not get to the heart of the Law. This is what we see on the Sermon on the Mount as Christ reveals the spiritual nature of the Law. Have you committed spiritual homicide this week? Have you committed spiritual adultery this week? Have you committed spiritual rebellion this week? If so, now is the time to run to Christ. As we come to the communion table, let no sin lie dormant in your heart. Bear it before Him, seeking the pardon that only He can give.
